Burnt flowers became ashes of anguish and despair
Within a realm full of wonders and sorrow
Snowflakes were melting into stars and flames
In the liminal space between night and day
Where the fury of storms encountered the hush of eternity
And the only melody I could hear was a solemn refrain
Feeling feverish and mortified at once
Feeling alive and fading indefinitely
I began to see glowing flowers in my garden
Every magnificent blossom trembled in silent anguish
But I felt a deep delight and bliss
Reminding myself that I would vanish alone
In an ocean of sorrow and tears
Without any consolation
Without any farewell or elegy
Once faded away
I became an obsidian raven
Insolent and powerful
Finding my amusement in whispering omens to mortals and sleeping atop withered trees
I enjoyed being surrounded by the scent of burnt flowers and incense
My supreme merriment was being caressed by the gleaming flames
And observing how easily mortals were undone by ruin and dissolution
I could freely smile in front of their astonished countenances
Although I had always aimed to be cherished
Although I had always wanted to be adored
All that I could attain was only a box of relics and thorns
Who, indeed, could ever have consoled me?
Among the shadows surrounding me
Only a frozen indifference was offered to me in a silver cornucopia
With shady candles and fragments of seashells
Sipping sweet poison and bitter elixirs made me a sorceress
I was detached from the world of ghosts and illusions
By intentionally becoming a creature of the nether realm
Although the sky belonged to me as well
Burning quietly from within to make my existence bearable
Every pang was a blissful yearning, and my body could perceive its intensity.
Elisabetta Esther