Category: Poetry

Poetry is one of my passions. In my blog, I will publish poems which I wrote. Hence I opened a separate category for poetry.

During the years, I’ve read Italian, English, American, and French poems because, during my childhood, I learned those three languages. Only recently, I started writing poetry which I never wanted to publish. I believe that it is very personal to publish them.

Although I’m a physicist, I started to read poetry during high school, mainly in Italian and English. Only home I was reading French books. Indeed, the French language and literature were not in my school program.

Writing poetry is one of the most intimate ways to express feelings and moods. Time to time, I will publish poems.

Time

Time

We don’t need time at all
Time is that sequence of instants that grab and capture memories
We are slaves of time only because we believe in it
Time doesn’t exist
Every moment can be eternal and timeless
We don’t need time at all
We can be free from the time-bound box
We can be free from the concept of space as well
Since space is related to time
Considering that only a tiny part of the universe is visible
We shouldn’t care about time and space
There is no reason to be captivated by time and space
To feel our inner essence and keep contact with our own truth
We can nullify time and space
In this way, we will preserve our authenticity and integrity
Being honest with ourselves.
Esther Racah

September 12, 2020
Free Spirit

Free Spirit

I’m a free spirit who lives in poetry

Poetry is one of the most elevated acts of love

Poetry is in every cell of my body

And it’s an act of pure love which is inside my body and soul

I let my poetry flow through my body and senses

Many places I had been, many lives I had lived and many people I had met in my life

I can hear and feel people with my soul

Consider me as pure poetry, which is trying to reach out for your soul and mind

I’m a free spirit who lives in poetry

I know that feeling of absurd sensitivity and sensibility

I’m pure poetry and an incorporeal spirit

My poetry is part of my cells and body

I’m a free spirit, and I love all the poetry

Which is one of the highest human expressions

I love poetry with all my essence and soul.
Esther Racah

September 12, 2020
Deceptions

Deceptions

With time my dreams became deceptions
With time my hopes became deceptions
A bright hallucination became a dark image of delusions
Hopes fell like raindrops
Creating a lake of despair and self-deception
Being dreams the illusions we live in
To overcome a spoiled reality
Which is much too corrupted
The clouds in my minds protect me and make me feel free
I can fly away and pretend not to be myself anymore
All the pains, the grudges, the disillusion, the deceptions disappear
I become invisible
I become infinite
And I’m one of the trillions of stars in the universe
Where no envy, no violence, no hatred, no discrimination are allowed to exist
I want to forget and be merry
I want to celebrate life and be cheery
As my past sank into the abyss of the oblivion
Dark is the night without dreams
Dreams are my candles when I walk in the dark forest of the desolate fears
I want to empty my mind and shake away all the obscene memories
And the cold rain would wash away all the past crimson shames
My shadow is the only material remnant of myself
I’m made of passions and poetry
And my love is sealed into my words which I scatter in my verses
Nothing matters but the brightness of my soul
Once it is free from the yoke of the pain addiction
Deceptions are in my mind and my body
They left their imprints all over my skin.
Esther Racah

September 8, 2020
Trap

Trap

My heart was shattered to pieces
Ripped to remnants of myself
I was totally devastated
My heart was a lost remnant of the past
Love was something terrifying me
And I tried to accept and love myself
I strived to believe in a dream
But everything was destroyed in a blast
Terror and stupor overcame in my heart
I was overwhelmed, and I couldn’t help myself
Seeking freedom from an emotional slavery
Humiliation and pain crushed the innocence of a primitive love
An ideal love that exists only as a faded chimaera
A chimaera of purity and integrity
A fragment of a nightmare which reduced me to tears
The teardrops of a painful illusion which was my trap
The trap of a dreadful and addictive love
A trap that was the source of all my fears and nightmares
I was bound and trapped by an obscure dismay
There is no peace without a candid unconsciousness.
Esther Racah

September 1, 2020
Emotion

Emotion

She didn’t have a heart
She lost her integrity
She lost her soul
Now sitting on top of a cliff
Behind her, there was a dark forest
In front of her, she could admire a breathtaking view
A vast ocean was extending with its several tones of blue and green
Her strawberry blonde hair was loosely flowing in the wild wind
Her brown eyes were delighted in this vision
A dream made of different colours and sounds
She was motionless and quiet
Nevertheless, she could not feel any emotion
She was frozen inside like an iceberg
She was petrified and impassible
Not even the hastening wind could perturb her
She was the ghost of herself
The shell of herself
Being incorporeal and ethereal
She was lifeless as a dried white lotus
There was no emotion in her inner essence
Because she was a spiritless creature
She couldn’t be touched by anything but her own indifference.
Esther Racah

September 1, 2020
Memories

Memories

From the window, I see a bird flying away
It reminds me how time runs fast
It reminds me of the freedom which I lost
Perplexed, I wonder how quickly the thoughts and memories move back and forth in my mind
Similarly to a bird flying from a place to another place with a broad view of the city
As the day passes, the light changes
And new colours paint the city
As long as the evening covers up everything with a dark cloak
A game of lights and shadows adorn the city
Melancholy accompanies me to the nighttime
A blend of feelings and memories create a picture whose subject changes constantly
We can consider our memories like landscapes
Some are unpleasant and unsightly
Others are pleasant and lovely
I live in a pit of memories
I live in a field of emotions
Sometimes memories trap me
And it’s difficult to escape from them
But in the end, my mind flies away free like a bird in the sky
My mind is a mirror of memories
Images that belong to a far and near past
My mirror of memories keeps me captive
Although I try to flee from this ambush
I cannot be free, and maybe I don’t want
I will forever belong to this abyss of memories.
Esther Racah

August 31, 2020
Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes I’m uninspired, and I become insensitive
Surrounded by silence and faded lights
I lie among books and scattered notes
Sometimes it isn’t easy to connect with ourselves
It is arduous to overcome such deprivation of sensibility
I try to achieve self-empathy
Sometimes I think that the words are inadequate and restraining
Being the poetry an interplay of words
Where the lyrics are the expression of temporary moods
Witnessing different states of mind and instants of life
Like a camera capturing a precise moment
Like a musical score sharing intimate nuances
Therefore I explore the infinite inside myself
Nullifying every rationality and logic
I achieve a more unconscious awareness of my mind and soul.
Esther Racah

August 28, 2020
Struggles

Struggles

You always have to see the positive side of your struggles. No matter how much you suffer and feel hopeless. There will always be a different perspective on the way to take care of your issues. During my whole life, I often met toxic people who took advantage of me, belittling, humiliating and exploiting me. No matter how much I tried to be loved. No matter how much I strove to be appreciated. The only things I got were bullying, abuses, insults, lies and deceptions. With time, I noticed that all those “inconveniences” were coming from mediocre, ignorant, abusive and narrow-minded “humans”. Some of them were ready to blame and label me just because of rumours they heard about me or because of shallow conjectures. Some others were so bothered by my personality that they sought to belittle and blame me. In this way, they were feeling much better about themselves, satisfying their ego.

Hence, what I want to express is that you have to ignore negative opinions. Just don’t take those perspectives too much into consideration because those mental confinements may affect you. You don’t need the approval of others. You don’t need their opinions nor their presence in your life. With all the due respect I owe to everyone, I chose to choose myself first and make myself happy without too many worries and struggles that come from disappointments connected to someone else. Therefore I was noticing that my reflection was distorted in those broken mirrors, which were used on purpose to make me feel despicable. And they were just wretched and miserable tools to scorn me and making me feel dismayed and sorrowful. But they failed because I shine my light fearlessly, and I know how much I’m worth.
Esther Racah

August 28, 2020
My Guilt

My Guilt

I lived many lives
As many as it’s possible
I’ve visited so many places
Different countries with different cultures
I met so many people I can barely remember
However, sometimes I’ve made terrible encounters
With usurpers exploiting my innocence and beauty
They were emotional predators and abusers
My guilt was my beauty
My guilt was my uniqueness
My guilt was my innocence
My guilt was my naiveness
I trusted them
I’ve been torn apart
Without apology
Without pity
Without humanity
Without morality
In their opinion, those were the ways to love
The abuses were standing behind a fake effigy of love
A love made of crimson and sinister tones
A love made of manipulations
A love made of abuses
A love made of pains
Being my soul and my body ripped to pieces
I feel a survivor and a relic of my old self.
Esther Racah

August 25, 2020
Losing Myself

Losing Myself

Losing myself in the labyrinth of thoughts and emotions
I disown the concept of time
I ignore the days and the nights
And I enter a secret world
An unrevealed and undisclosed chimaera
A dwelling that is perceptible only to the soul
Where everything is ethereal and pure
There are no signs of corruption nor consumption
However, nothing is steady
Somehow this peaceful alcove loses its quiescence
And a turmoil intrudes abruptly
Therein is no perfection and no idleness
The calmness is gone as soon as a new passion is born
An inert hideout becomes an ocean storm
It is not anymore a haven
As soon as pains and fears increase rapidly
I get lost in the middle of a violent blast
I feel helpless and frail
Like a small petal floating in the wind
I’m defeated defencelessly.
Esther Racah

August 25, 2020