I Lived In Death

I lived in death, and the death lived in me
As long as memories were within me
As long as I relied on my dungeon of darkness and dismay
The daggers of betrayal stabbed my heart and soul
Numbing my mind in an eternal slumber for a decade of decay

Foolishness was my wisdom and guide
For I forgot my name at a time without the time
In the eternity of forgetfulness of myself
Living forcefully without the intention of life
Doomed to solitude, numbness and death

And so I wrote my despair and desire for not being any more
Prisoner of fate and false scenarios
I pretended to live believing in other truths and myths
A spell of death and violence was written on my heart
Still not free from the cage of demise and darkness.

I lived in death, and the death lived in me
Trusting the undying spirits of deception
Captivating my heart and soul like vultures
Avid of my mystery and innocence
Having been thrown into a cave with no way out

Slumber was my only loyal companion in my non-life
Slammed doors and broken windows and screams the constant guests of my trap
Explosions and metal dust were falling over my realm of nightmares
Dreaming of not dreaming anymore forever

Falling into unloveable harbours of uncertainty
Being unintentional and detached in my survival
Nonchalant about the future as I was destined to vanish
Secrets and memories were pinning me down like a fallen butterfly

I lived in madness
Pretending to exist in a phantom reality
Striving to scream but without success
I’ve been an embalmed doll, trapped in a glass cage
Untouched by love.

My heart and lips have been sealed
By the pins of sovereignty and hegemony
Waiting to be forever free I feast upon myself.
Elisabetta