My delight was my demise. My desires, so bitter and dark, gripped my heart, conquering it with all their vehemence, and all my most secret desires crumbled like shards of crystal upon the frozen, sorrowful ground.
Alas, misery had granted me a fate in which I was a sacrificial prey. And yes, I had no escape from my cruel destiny. However much I loved the fondness and delight of a chimerical existence made of dreams and delicate flowers.
Reneged by mortals and secluded within my dark and comfortless vault, I sought refuge in my fantasy, while my withered soul was doused in sorrow. I strove to forget all my most hidden and forbidden desires, but their memories left an imprint on my heart.
I wept and shed as many tears as there were saline water drops in the infinite ocean that stretched far away from me, since I was not granted the privilege of beholding it from my dark refuge, nor was I allowed to see the stars.
A lugubrious existence had become my fatal destiny. My only companions were my perpetual candles, which illuminated my gloomy chamber, merely to remind me of my anguish, my dismay, and my despondency.
Ghosts of the past spied on me, casting shadows upon the ancient walls, dilapidated by the storms. The echo of my sighs reached the stars, which gazed at me with cynicism and indifference, as if I were unworthy of their devotion, while dark and menacing clouds reminded me of my defeat.
While scattered feelings bounced within my torn and apathetic heart, menacing shadows embodied my fears and my most obscure secrets, which I would never have been able to reveal to any soul.
Therefore, between surrender and fatal torpor, I lay inert, as though I were a marble statue. In all my fragility and in all my vulnerability, I knew that what awaited me was nothing but the doom of my heart, my essence, my very self. A total obliteration and oblivion were my final destination.
Elisabetta Esther