The magic foggy night became my night of dreams and fantastical visions. A bright, cloudy full moon stirred delightful emotions in my heart, cherishing a marvellous melancholy and sordid dismay. My attention was astonished by the sight of a stack of weathered antique books illuminated by a flamboyant candle beside a shining brass armillary sphere. The magic foggy night didn’t reveal its secrets, so I tried to talk to an esoteric book with celestial motifs, asking questions about that mysterious wisdom I was not supposed to know. As I proceeded in my questionable quest, I caught sight of a glowing glass lantern, while a solitary black raven perched on the weathered stone balcony railing amid climbing ivy. In solitude, I was resolute enough to disclose every aspect of my bizarre fate, which never failed to surprise me. As long as the magic foggy night made my imagination more unpredictable and hectic, it caused me to lose my ability to be comforted by my slumbering rest. Many doubts crossed my mind uncomfortably as I gasped uneasily whenever I realised that all I was glimpsing was a pristine daydream. It seemed that beauty was an ephemeral manifestation of my evanescent dreams. For too long I let my expectations fall into the abyss of decay, and in vain I waited for an impetuous storm to invite me into another realm. Nevertheless, the blemishes in my heart became engraved truths, which were too harsh to endure as I became more aware of the desolation of my existence. The magic foggy night had made me acquainted with nocturnal creatures and forbidden knowledge at the sight of splendour and magnificence. Alas, so abruptly time had passed, and oblivion claimed all those treasures, which hitherto had been my cherished belongings. Therefore, my flamboyant candle with the shining brass armillary sphere and weathered antique occult books together with the glowing glass lantern faded away into the void of the gloomy night. The solitary black raven flew high up into the sky until it lay beside the glistering stars. All that remained to be seen was the withered ivy and some relics of my whispers of despair. The magic foggy night had been just an illusion; a dream that didn’t accompany me for as long as I wished. The night’s deception was but an evanescence, vanishing into the darkness and leaving behind nothing but the bitter remembrance of a resplendence that had never truly been mine.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: antique books
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The Magic Foggy Night
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Crying To Death
Crying to death until I lose all my fears
Crying to death until my heart bleeds the last drop of grief
I don’t remember my name anymore
I come from a faraway realm where dreams are forbidden
I wander astray in the labyrinth of my bleeding heartNot anymore comforted by solace and delight
I strive to find refuge in my secret realm of illusions
Because I love to lie to myself with shameless boldness
Because I love to fill my heart with deceptionI’m untamed and wild, and I don’t bow to any convention
It’s impossible to fit my soul inside a box of comfort
Too many thoughts crowd my mind
Too many emotions crowd my heart
I’m a paroxysm, a burst of madness wrapped in the quietness of my sorrowI love to wear exclusively beautiful vintage-style dresses and ballerinas
I love to wear red lipstick and red nail polish
I never cut my long blond hair because they keep my little secrets for years discretely
I love books but sometimes I keep them closed as if I would like to guess what is going to happen next in the storyI mainly write night and day and I cannot see myself not writing even a day
That would be like asking me not to breathe
I suffer in silence when I am home alone so nobody can discover it
I never plan what I’m going to write because I believe in improvisation in poetry
I love cloudy skies but not the rain because it makes me feel miserableI love to be in love but I also love to be loved and adored
Solitude and books are my best companions, indeed the only ones
I adore art in all its forms, music, literature and art
Sometimes I prefer to write in a direct way and simple style without labyrinths of metaphorsCrying to death is a way to express myself when I’m suffering unbearably
And when I don’t feel understood and seen by the other creatures of this planet or when memories come to visit me
After all, we suffer mainly because of indifference or tainted interactions with other entities or because of something we don’t want to rememberI feel like an alien creature not belonging to standard society and as an introvert it’s very difficult being part of this messed ocean where I never felt comfortable. So bizarre and odd I’m in the other’s sight that I cannot blend with them.
Therefore, I dwell in my loneliness where I have built my castle of dreams.
Elisabetta