Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: bleeding heart

  • Devoured By My Own Dismay

    Devoured By My Own Dismay

    Devoured by my own dismay
    Crying in the middle of the night
    Feeling the sharp points of the daggers impaling my heart
    Fainted behind my shadow
    Forced to live
    Devoted to death
    Striving for darkness and the underworld

    Devoured by my own regrets
    Chains of anguish that bond me to my death chamber
    Where I hid behind the veil of sorrow and blood
    Like a magnificent statue of sorrow veiling her countenance

    I melt in the haze of the night to become invisible
    I become the night and the solitude
    Just a creature of the underworld
    The realm of destruction and death
    Transformation mutes me in infinite shapes and entities

    Devoured by my own dismay
    I linger in my own fantasies
    Sometimes they are my nightmares and they want to obliterate me
    Sometimes they are my fears and anxieties
    Chaining me to my dungeon of anguish

    Slowly the rain falls over me
    Stroking my face as to accompany me in my garden of loneness
    I surrender to my madness and turmoil
    I have no power anymore
    I lost everything to be left with dust and decay

    My heart is stitched and bleeding
    Buried inside a coffin in the graveyard of memories
    In the cemetery of those I lost permanently

    And time seemed to stop at the very moment my grief began to be alive
    Interrupting my life and slicing me into fragments and pieces of flesh and blood
    To be relegated to a poky fate
    Tucked behind time’s dusty drapes.
    Lisa

  • Spellbound And Intoxicated

    Spellbound And Intoxicated

    Spellbound and intoxicated
    I wandered in a wild forest
    Inhabited by ghosts
    Not of dead hearts
    But of the doomed and forgotten ones

    Their voices were sighs in the trees
    Their eyes gleamed in the moss
    And their sorrow dripped
    From the petals of midnight flowers
    Like poisonous nectar to feed the enemies

    I wandered while sensing the memory’s weight
    Adorned with spider webs
    Against yesterday’s wind
    Regret clung to my lips
    Like the ghost of a kiss

    The forest did not frighten me
    It welcomed me
    It claimed me
    It taught me the arcane
    Secrets of those who linger
    Between moments

    And so I remained
    Spellbound and intoxicated
    A ghost among ghosts
    Forever wandering
    Where the living dare not dream

    My bleeding heart
    Just a stone
    My tortured body
    A survivor of wicked spells
    Absolute silence, a cordial companion

    Who was I?
    What had I become?
    I couldn’t find peace
    Not even for an instant
    I was devoured by a sense of anguish

    Distress and fear bit me
    With their sharp teeth
    Like daggers piercing my flesh
    I was stabbed by an invisible misery
    Which turned me into the representation of decadence

    They called me the suffering spirit
    Sighing and crying
    I was a river of sorrow
    Perceiving the invisible and intangible realm
    I had never felt so confused

    Detached from mortal reality
    I strived to fly to my peaceful dreams
    So I did let my unconsciousness drive me Wherever my imagination could wander far away

    Was I allowed to dream?
    I could not know
    I will never know
    So unstable, timeless and spaceless place
    Where destruction ruled over everything

    Self-destruction was my ruler
    I never met careless happiness
    In my miserable existence
    Nightmares welcomed me
    In their ethereal world 

    Spellbound and intoxicated
    I was just the shadow of myself
    A mere illusion.
    Elisabetta

  • Swallowed By The Emptiness

    Swallowed By The Emptiness

    Swallowed by the emptiness, I strive to survive
    And it seems that I’ve lost everything
    And I feel that I’ve got lost in the obscure abyss of my anguish
    And it’s only my fragility that guides me through the darkness

    The cruel fate threw me into a life of decay and despair
    An existence of invisibility and nonsense
    Where I struggle to be understood and loved
    And solitude rips my heart apart

    Wandering alone in the night
    I lose myself in an infinite myriad of thoughts
    And I try to scream, but there is no way to be heard
    While I lose my mind, falling into the abyss of madness

    Foolish as I am
    Every time, I believe in having found my way
    I only find walls made of gelid stones
    With no doors

    So I stopped to trust my dreams
    Since they are the most deceptive illusions
    Traps made of enchanting flowers and magic spells
    Traps that become my alcoves of salvation

    And I remain an unconscious prisoner of such captivating visions
    And I linger in silence without saying anything anymore
    I forget the sound of my voice to only remember the sound of my sobs
    When despair fractures me in millions of pieces

    The sweet melody of decadence soothes my soul
    I feel only love and anguish
    My heart bleeds teardrops of passion
    Lacerated as it is with a doomed destiny

    Swallowed by the emptiness
    I wander in the dark nights in the labyrinth of my nightmares
    To lie there hopeless and betrayed
    With a mind full of phoney delusions

    Trying to lie to myself
    I became convinced that there are clouds of happiness
    Where I’m valued and remembered
    A phantasmagoria of glowing glare and delight

    Hence, a fraudulent bliss enchained me eternally
    And an inextinguishable flame burns my bleeding heart
    Inflaming my soul with its ethereal fire
    A fire made of emptiness and indifference.
    Elisabetta

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