Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: comfort

  • Crying To Death

    Crying To Death

    Crying to death until I lose all my fears
    Crying to death until my heart bleeds the last drop of grief
    I don’t remember my name anymore
    I come from a faraway realm where dreams are forbidden
    I wander astray in the labyrinth of my bleeding heart

    Not anymore comforted by solace and delight
    I strive to find refuge in my secret realm of illusions
    Because I love to lie to myself with shameless boldness
    Because I love to fill my heart with deception

    I’m untamed and wild, and I don’t bow to any convention
    It’s impossible to fit my soul inside a box of comfort
    Too many thoughts crowd my mind
    Too many emotions crowd my heart
    I’m a paroxysm, a burst of madness wrapped in the quietness of my sorrow

    I love to wear exclusively beautiful vintage-style dresses and ballerinas
    I love to wear red lipstick and red nail polish
    I never cut my long blond hair because they keep my little secrets for years discretely
    I love books but sometimes I keep them closed as if I would like to guess what is going to happen next in the story

    I mainly write night and day and I cannot see myself not writing even a day
    That would be like asking me not to breathe
    I suffer in silence when I am home alone so nobody can discover it
    I never plan what I’m going to write because I believe in improvisation in poetry
    I love cloudy skies but not the rain because it makes me feel miserable

    I love to be in love but I also love to be loved and adored
    Solitude and books are my best companions, indeed the only ones
    I adore art in all its forms, music, literature and art
    Sometimes I prefer to write in a direct way and simple style without labyrinths of metaphors

    Crying to death is a way to express myself when I’m suffering unbearably
    And when I don’t feel understood and seen by the other creatures of this planet or when memories come to visit me
    After all, we suffer mainly because of indifference or tainted interactions with other entities or because of something we don’t want to remember

    I feel like an alien creature not belonging to standard society and as an introvert it’s very difficult being part of this messed ocean where I never felt comfortable. So bizarre and odd I’m in the other’s sight that I cannot blend with them.
    Therefore, I dwell in my loneliness where I have built my castle of dreams.
    Elisabetta

  • Echoes of Solitude

    Echoes of Solitude

    The echoes of solitude lingered like ghosts,
    Each sigh was a reminder of what was permanently lost.
    In the chambers of silence, where memories faded,
    I traced the soft outlines of illusions that betrayed.

    Once passionate and secure, my heart knew no bounds,
    However, in the quiet, the many storms overwhelmed around.
    The walls whispered secrets of sorrow and pain,
    Recounting the moments where hope met disdain.

    Each creak of the floorboard evoked a haunting voice from the past,
    Telling of fables and merriments that couldn’t last.
    The portraits that hung on the walls seemed to cry,
    Reflecting my longing, my wish to defy.

    In the heart of the stillness, where time lost its touch,
    I wandered through memories; my heart could not heal from the clutch.
    The enigmas became entangled, too complex to feel,
    A web of lost moments, no truth to reveal.

    I spoke to the shadows, confided my fears,
    Revealing the heartache that flowed like my tears.
    Indeed, in this embrace of the silent abyss,
    I found a strange comfort, a longing for bliss.

    For solitude wrapped me in a stone mansion,
    Where the flowers of anguish began to flourish without caution.
    In the stillness, I pondered the paths that I chose,
    And the weight of my sorrow, a delicate prose.

    Each echo was a lesson, each silence a melody,
    In the chasms of my solitude, I found serenity.
    Though the world outside faded into the mist,
    In the meadows of solitude, I found my true bliss.

    But even in happiness, a cloud remained,
    A reminder of all that could never be tamed.
    For solitude’s comfort is an ephemeral glimpse at best,
    A fleeting illusion that cannot bring rest.

    And so I remain, a soul intertwined,
    Among echoes of solitude, lost to the mind.
    Surrounded by the quietude, I drift like the night,
    Searching for peace, yet bound to the light.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Dark Nightmares

    Dark Nightmares

    Dark nightmares of morning glow
    They were rising like a gentle breeze
    Like heavy clouds begun to wander
    Across the infinite horizon of my sight
    The pleasant summer nights faded from my memories
    Till the moon came gently down and my eyes gazed a far candle
    In a dark chamber of grey stones
    Remembering the sunny weather of the past years
    I never ceased to build my castle
    Writing down broken notes

    Dark nightmares
    As all the visions from a distant past are gone
    And now my nightmares are glued with pains
    When memories become dark, the whole world disappears
    Cold dreams are like the frosty winter wind
    In time I must flee, and my voice becomes true
    As long as I’m alive and anguish pricks my heart
    I live in a dim silence
    A lotus grazes my imagination
    Still lost within myself

    Dark nightmares of my senses’ slumber
    The long loneliness of my heart
    Moments lost in the world
    Like shadows of a dream
    Not a breath in my own mind
    Thoughts belonging to the labyrinth of my soul
    Far in the mist
    Lying deep inside of myself
    My wishes do bother me
    Every time I glimpse the pain in my heart

    Dark nightmares drag me to the infinite abyss of despair
    So dismal and cold is my soul that it became dead
    I’ve grown so restless in sorrow
    While nothing in my life occurs but silent dreams
    The sky is only a cold essence
    And I am forever lonely
    I walked through the darkness with a blue wind hitting me
    Like tiny daggers slashing my skin
    When a hasty storm broke the clouds into dust
    Hushed by a mournful silence, I embraced my everlasting grief.

    Dark nightmares and illusions
    They came and shed darkness
    While each memory bent my emotions
    A swarthy shudder whispered unrevealed secrets
    A sea of fire emerged at the sound of my tears
    Madness and dismay became my consolation and comfort
    Fleeing from an insane lodging
    In a fleeting moment where fragments of my soul were scattered in the cold gusts of indifference
    Buying busy weeping my broken dreams
    When the shadows of the clouds cast a spell on me.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Gloomy Sorrow

    A Gloomy Sorrow

    A gloomy sorrow
    A gentle grief
    In a world made of pride
    The soul will never win
    It seems as if no one can be able to love and dreams
    Patience and happiness are rare gifts to be obtained with pain
    When only desire can find peace
    I used to learn my true emotions of mine
    The wisdom becomes a bliss
    Truth is hidden everywhere
    Everything on earth comes to an end

    A gloomy sorrow sweet for all the hours
    At the sound of the darkness spinning around the night
    Few faint glistening hopes find their way through the abyss of dismay
    It would be a joy to love my heart
    But sorrow comes from a long time ago
    And yet, in life, a great beauty shines
    Time does arrive travelling with no destination
    My soul had forgotten words
    A little fear becomes mine
    And my soul is full of pain

    A gloomy sorrow of loneliness
    The soul is smiling during the day
    In vain, a million feelings were meant to die
    Whole memories belonging to me
    Happiness is born to die
    Tomorrow a great fate could last forever
    A treasure to be kept
    While the future loses its feelings
    Bliss would hide in a place beyond eternity
    Being confined and helpless
    Sobbing in a restless night

    A gloomy sorrow
    When the memories were never the same
    A dull despair and delight
    Life and death
    Far away from my mind and thoughts
    The light and shades of my soul shine
    When the eyes are dark and cold
    The flames of hope grow fast
    Every time I write, a little dream manifests
    Like a rose into the breath of the universe
    When they call my name, I strive

    A gloomy sorrow in the night
    Longing to be seen
    But a heavy cold sadness falls down
    A white sun of light is glowing
    And every ray of sunshine has blossomed from every side
    Just as soon as the clouds fly through the air
    The beauty of joy crosses the whole world
    Heavy thoughts have drifted into my soul
    The remembrance of a distant way I have travelled
    I feel a longing to comfort my thoughts
    I shall be loved by my anguish and wait no longer.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Moping In Solitude

    Moping In Solitude

    Moping in solitude
    Loyalty and pleasure
    And a strange state of daze
    It was neither plain nor fair
    Yet as I sat alone
    A weary heart desiring to go
    So lost at last
    I’m alone in everything
    With dreams made of light
    Before the eternal death
    Suffering the time with faith
    Discovering absurdities and disappointment

    Moping in solitude,
    Every time I woke up
    And it would be a happy day
    I walk around and fancy
    It seems so little the pain I felt
    To think again about how people acted and thought
    The world is up to see an end
    And I’ll see where I am going
    The reason I have the capability to do so
    One moment, of course, would be enough
    Then know not even a day of desire
    All would be easy but disgrace

    Moping in solitude
    Not looking for any doubt
    I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
    I found another smile today from the night
    Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
    Over and over again
    On a pleasant highway
    There was not even one reason to stay
    But the road has gone high,
    And, of course, loneliness
    Where love grew dark
    While seeing smirking faces

    Moping in solitude
    Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
    A decadent comfort
    If the end would come
    Because I always knew what was now
    I shouldn’t care
    But listening to the last image
    That would be very pretty
    And yet it really cannot be known
    Of what kind of things
    I must seem to reach out too far
    Beyond any limit and imagination.

    I might envision my defeat
    Loyal to my dreams
    And always lost in the maze of discomfort
    Always hated but never forgotten
    The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
    I will never conform to others’ will.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A terrific and beautiful tempest
    Made of anguishes and broken dreams
    Once they belonged to the realm of quests and stupor
    But interrupted in the very moment of truth and beauty
    To become fragments of a whole nightmare
    In the abyss of ineptitude and betrayal
    I might question the night about my future
    It may come in fanfare sounds and sparkling obscurity
    Obscenity and banality don’t belong to my realm
    Maybe it is the case I change my windows in front of a sarcastic landscape
    Who could enquire what is real?
    So many fragile lies built under the shape of a high castle
    Not visible anymore
    Relying on the benefit of the doubt too many times
    I decided to move to another world
    Obsession for knowledge
    And the dominion of words and imaginary scenarios
    The obliteration of ignominious dreams in the darkness
    Dreaming is like breathing

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A misty veil of rain and storm
    A sublime ecstasy of a soothing slumber
    In an obscure realm of illusions and dismay
    Amidst a very midst of a dim sea
    The sun seems to glare through the gloomy clouds
    Cold darkness in existence with no thoughts or wisdom
    It abides only bliss beyond reality
    In a universe that is getting apart
    Whenever a dream reveals its mysteries from nothing
    The eternity of time is too far from the truth
    And brightness abides among the grey stars in the skies
    Greeting every emotion in vain
    My only place to be is with sorrows
    Which are no longer lies
    My heart became sweet as the snow
    My dark path conducts me to the loneliest room
    With gentle solitude and no comfort or rest
    Once the mystery of each star is disclosed
    A slight wind of fear will blow inside my soul.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Perpetually Lost

    Perpetually Lost

    Perpetually Lost

    Perpetually lost in the neverness of hopes
    It cannot be back what is forever lost
    They cannot be back those who nevermore will find a real dimension
    Once they are in another realm
    The lugubrious grief is not an amiable counterpart at most
    Being a shadow of every memory and prospect
    An encomiastical tale of a glorious bliss
    Eternally lost in a furtive instant
    A surreal and silent melody
    Stolen by the wind of the emotions
    Far-fetched beliefs of an idyll
    The need to trust a tainted truth fell into the abyss of misery
    And comfort can only be achieved in constant oblivion.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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