A dismal obscurity silently descended over the nighttime in the garden of secret and forbidden desires. Once again, the storm had fulfilled its promise to erase ancient memories and delusional hopes from the realm of fantasies and chimaeras. The nights followed each other like a sequence of fables without any beginning or end. All the flowers withdrew from the tempest’s thunder, leaving soaked soil filled with decay and fragments of burning flames. The bitterness of the magic potions that I had to swallow in my frantic existence turned my heart into a heavy stone to carry through nights of solitude and restlessness. Flares of anguish burst in the nighttime while the stars watched me closely like a bizarre creature, who was unworthy of inhabiting that enchanted place filled with wild eccentricities. The freezing wind was so fiercely cold and violent that I could not remain standing for even a moment, reminding me of my fragility and transience. The more unbearable truths demanded to be revealed the more I shrank from discovering them in the great mirror of dilemmas. No matter how much I wanted to cast off all those painful and demoralising memories, they appeared as menacing shadows wherever I went. A dismal obscurity had cast a spell all over the night and no portal could have conducted me to other surroundings since my fate had decreed that I could never depart from the realm of ill-omened nightmares and indulgent sufferings. The art of suffering had become my delight during those harrowing nights of burning tears. The stupor had not even allowed me a moment to relinquish my role as a dreamer of lost, fragmented dreams. The eternal darkness could have been magnificent each instant that a dismal obscurity had claimed my heart solely for the mere purpose of making me feel in each part of my body the misery of the loss of all my dreams while the stars and the moon mocked me with their looks of contempt.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: decadent poetry
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A Dismal Obscurity
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In The Abyss Of Nightmares
In the abyss of nightmares, I belonged for epochs, which lasted as long as the obliteration of my dreams became predominant. Perpetually, the invasive obsession with liberty and chance came to me oddly; nevertheless, I was not able to grasp the flower of resilience, which was far too unreachable. Soon I realised that the nights had overtaken the days and the sun was forever gone.
The echo of my lost dreams reverberated like a scream from the infernal abode of the forsaken ghouls, whose souls were being kept in a jar of gold and crystals. I didn’t ask for that lugubre situation, as my heartbeat was as slow as the tolling of an antique clock, accustomed to no longer marking time—not even for the mirrors. A downpour supervened, interrupting that solemn silence.
In the abyss of nightmares, I discovered that losing all my hopes and dreams had become my delight and bliss as if I enjoyed the misery I was destined to endure since the beginning of eras. As long as darkness was eternity, no feeling of compassion or consolation could soothe my heart, which had become a stone, for the nightmares were caring for my soul.
Each phantom I encountered showed me a book made of tears and memories, then flashed a sneer at me, as if satisfied to accompany me to the valley of despair and decay. And there I lay on the gelid soil that absorbed every teardrop of mine, giving life to flowers whose petals were made of sharp rocks. No reprieve was hidden behind the portals of that realm under the sovereignty of shadows and darkness.
I didn’t even need to escape from that place anymore because it had become the most intrinsic part of myself as if I were a creature of the abyss of nightmares and perpetual storms since eternity. And even the sun had melted with the moon transforming into a black star likely a massive sphere of obsidian irradiating me with its powerful gloominess as if to welcome me.
Elisabetta Esther -
Entangled In My Own Disquiet
Entangled in my own disquiet
I found myself in a state of confusion
Collapsing into a vortex of chaos and despair
I might have been able to overcome my fears
But I was not capable of escaping the lonelinessThere were no mirrors in my secret dwelling
Where candles and shadows were my loyal confidantes
And an absolute silence was soothing me like a soft lullaby
While my sighs hid tears of griefThinking of myself as a tiny leaf in an immense ocean
I was surrendered to fate, ready to be swallowed up in the abyss of oblivion
Lost in a turmoil of obsessions and dismayMany times I wished to escape from the labyrinth of my fantasies
But deceptions were always following my trail
I knew no serenity
Instead, I was condemned to wander endlesslyTime didn’t know me as I existed in a surreal dimension
I belonged to the realm of darkness and obliteration
And I was a victim of the impetuous winds of the long winter nightI felt the discomfort of reality
It was like wearing a sumptuous dress made of thorns and quills
I lived as a doll locked in an airtight boxNo creature could ever perceive me
No creature could ever hear my sobs and sighs
No mirror could reflect my imageI was inevitably entangled in my own disquiet
Although the stillness around me pacified my soul
I didn’t feel any urgency to rescue myself
Indeed, my drowsy heart couldn’t perceive anything anymoreI had no longing, no desire left
I’ve never been in the garden of devotion and love
I’ve always been shrouded in clouds of invisibility
Always surrounded by candles and spiderwebs
Lost in a cloud of incense and blooming night flowers
Elisabetta Esther -
Love Like A Sweet Poison
Love like a sweet poison seeped into the heart, and time no longer existed in the realm of the eternal night. Passion burned as an everlasting flame and it altered into eternal desire.
A tenacious devotion was rooted in a ground made of ice and stardust. And I stood among crimson roses and the nocturnal mist, under the sight of an eerie moon.
The darkness enveloped me like a sumptuous dress wrapped around me. The faraway shadows of anguish and dread were chasing me like ominous ghouls.
I was seeking ghosts that reminded me of lost loves while wandering accompanied by my madness as the only chaperone.
No pang could ever touch me anymore since I’ve been depleted of my heart that was standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, beating loudly like an incessant cry.
My only way to exist was to roam erratically without any guidance. I was already a creature of the world of darkness. I had altered a myriad times in numerous ways.
I had definitely forsaken the world of mortals, with whom I never felt any affinity. I didn’t mind losing myself in that tremendous labyrinth.
As far as I could proceed, I felt the nothingness swallowing me with delight. A storm had subjugated me and shattered my being.
Not even a speck of myself had been kept by the frozen soil, because a whirlwind had stolen my essence. I was held captive by the abyss of darkness and there were no expectations or delusions.
I finally remembered as a long-lost memory that time no longer existed, when love seeped into the heart like a sweet poison. It burned slowly, transforming into eternal desire.
And there I lay down underneath the soil soaked with ice and flames with my heart standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, dreaming fearlessly and ceaselessly like a funerary elegy.
Elisabetta Esther -
Fluster And Frenzy
Fluster and frenzy
My guardian ghouls
They came to rescue me
During a dreadful slumber
I felt frozen shadows all over me
It was magical and startling
Nevertheless, the fear came to me
I was wandering, lonely and vulnerable
They were chasing me in the dead of night
I could hear their steps behind me
But I couldn’t discern a shadow from a glimmering star
As the clouds had overwhelmed the night sky
While the moon had vanished quietlyWherever I attempted to proceed
I couldn’t find a portal through which to flee from that abode
My gown, adorned with crimson roses and snow, looked after me silently
The creatures of the underworld traced my every movement
It seemed to me that I was mesmerised by their spells
While a chain of thorns entwined my body like a metallic vine
I was an evanescent creature, dissolving into the abyss of decay and despair
Under the indifferent gaze of the stars, cold and leadenSoft snowflakes were falling all over me
Kissing my weary and fragile skin
Trembling and sobbing, I had to face my fears and my merciless fate
No refuge was granted to me
No lovely embrace was going to welcome me
I had lost all my hopes, and my longings were reduced to ashes
I was condemned to wander endlessly in an abyss of gloom
Where I completely vanished, and no memories of my existence were left
Fluster and frenzy were no longer my guardian demons, but the ominous and frightening facets of myselfHow could I have deceived myself so recklessly?
How could I have allowed myself to surrender to demise?
It was so vicious to admit that I had sunk into oblivion ominously
Moreover, my name had been erased from the mortal realm
My longing for oblivion had unexpectedly taken shape
I was ensnared by the oddities I had forged within myself
They swallowed my heart each time I was overwhelmed by an intense passion
I had become the creator of my own descent
Each flame of desire had turned into a thorn of yearning, binding me with devout cruelty
Nothing could have been halted anymore
I was destined to obliteration.
Elisabetta Esther -
My Delight Was My Demise
My delight was my demise. My desires, so bitter and dark, gripped my heart, conquering it with all their vehemence, and all my most secret desires crumbled like shards of crystal upon the frozen, sorrowful ground.
Alas, misery had granted me a fate in which I was a sacrificial prey. And yes, I had no escape from my cruel destiny. However much I loved the fondness and delight of a chimerical existence made of dreams and delicate flowers.
Reneged by mortals and secluded within my dark and comfortless vault, I sought refuge in my fantasy, while my withered soul was doused in sorrow. I strove to forget all my most hidden and forbidden desires, but their memories left an imprint on my heart.
I wept and shed as many tears as there were saline water drops in the infinite ocean that stretched far away from me, since I was not granted the privilege of beholding it from my dark refuge, nor was I allowed to see the stars.
A lugubrious existence had become my fatal destiny. My only companions were my perpetual candles, which illuminated my gloomy chamber, merely to remind me of my anguish, my dismay, and my despondency.
Ghosts of the past spied on me, casting shadows upon the ancient walls, dilapidated by the storms. The echo of my sighs reached the stars, which gazed at me with cynicism and indifference, as if I were unworthy of their devotion, while dark and menacing clouds reminded me of my defeat.
While scattered feelings bounced within my torn and apathetic heart, menacing shadows embodied my fears and my most obscure secrets, which I would never have been able to reveal to any soul.
Therefore, between surrender and fatal torpor, I lay inert, as though I were a marble statue. In all my fragility and in all my vulnerability, I knew that what awaited me was nothing but the doom of my heart, my essence, my very self. A total obliteration and oblivion were my final destination.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Chains Of The Past
The chains of the past captivated me
Placing me down on the cold soil of the garden of tears
A place where no hope or wish was granted
A dungeon of anguish and dismay that became my eternal realmAn initiation ritual pierced my heart and made it bleed
My blood nourished the flowers of betrayal and deception
until they drained me of all strength
Leaving me fainting on the cold soil among thorns and sharp stonesSuddenly I felt that all my fears left my heart
And I became the representation of numbness and apathy
My body was as bloodless as an inanimate pebble
Silent like a grave and dark as the nightMy soul parted whispering a farewell
My heart was pale as ashes
Every spark of curiosity and liveliness faded away
Leaving me entombed in a deep slumber from which I would never awakenThe chains of the past were a noose around my neck
Drops of poison were falling on my face from the fountain of oblivion
Longings and regrets entwined a chain of tears and blood around my heart
A stupor was in my mind and weakness overwhelmed meMy memories from the past became my hunting nightmares
I couldn’t escape from them and hence I was lying helpless in the cold soil of the garden of death
All I could hear were soft sighs and cries of despair
Underneath the immense darkness of the night skyA curtain of haze blurred my blank gaze
As the wind wove moans into shadows
No dawn would ever find my eternal dusk
No voice would unsettle my spectral silenceUnable to find my way out of misery and sorrow
I descended into the deepest abyss of darkness
Becoming an unknown wraith in this garden of death
Where even time had turned to dust
And then only echoes of forsaken laments remained.
Elisabetta -
Flowers of Lust
Flowers of lust bloomed with passion and love,
In a lush garden teeming with beauty and sublimity.
Not even the rain dared touch this magical, magnificent realm,
Where all dreams always come true.Anguish began to poison that ethereal world,
Each raindrop became a drop of venom and grief,
Killing all the flowers of lust and leaving the garden a deserted place,
Where shadows and darkness started to rule.Hope faded like the sun’s dying glow,
As gloominess swallowed the once-enchanted realm.
The wind carried tales of forgotten euphoria,
Now replaced by the wails of misery’s presence.A veil of sorrow draped over every path,
Once adorned with roses, now thorns remained.
The sky, once azure, turned to ominous dark grey,
And silence grew louder than the softest pain.The lovers who feasted in the garden’s embrace,
Became mere phantoms, vestiges of the remote past.
Their merriment twisted into haunting laments,
As the night’s cold grasp on their souls was cast.This forsaken place transformed into a castle of rumbles,
Each remembrance was a reminder of love’s decay.
No gentle breeze, no floral perfume in the air,
Only the scent of death would not sway.The garden became a grave for passion’s bloom,
Lay barren, broken, a cradle for despair.
No longer a haven for hearts to unite,
But a tomb where love withered, unaware.Wilted petals and shattered dreams are all that remain,
Fragments of a life now lost in vain.
Each star above seemed to mock the plight,
Of a paradise torn apart at the seams.Amidst the ruins and obliteration,
The eternal darkness still cast its poisonous spell,
And gloaming clouds devoured every hopeful bloom.
No life could flourish in this place of despair,
A garden trapped in its endless, tragic plight.The flowers of lust forever lost their allure,
As night swallowed day and banished the light.
In this realm of sorrow, nothing survived,
Not love, nor joy, nor the faintest gleam,
But only the fragments of shattered dreams.
Esther Elizabeth Racah -
Dreams and Spells
Dreams and spells coveted in the abyss of shadows where phantoms crept,
Wandering through a realm half-wept.
The moon hung low; its face was pale,
And whispered of a ghostly tale.The sky became gloomy, the stars were dim,
As winds sang out a mournful hymn.
Every path was lost in endless nights,
Beneath a sky that held no light.Through twisted woods, the wanderers found a gate,
Its iron bars were wrought with fate.
A voice called out, both near and far,
Like echoes from a fallen star.“Step forth,” it said, “into the dream,
Where silence reigns and shadows gleam.”
Those who crossed the threshold felt the spell,
A touch of darkness known too well.The world within was strange and wild,
Where reason’s grip was swiftly beguiled.
The ground was ash, the trees were bone,
Their branches cracked in a sorrowful tone.A figure stood with eyes like fire,
A sorceress of dark desire.
She raised her hand, the spell was cast,
And time itself could not hold fast.The dreamers drifted then, their senses blurred,
In realms where whispered words were heard.
Each secret spoke of death’s embrace,
Of haunted dreams and hollow grace.The stars fell down like frozen tears,
Unveiling long-forgotten fears.
Intense was the feeling of the pull of ancient woe,
Beneath the weight of night’s cold glow.The sorceress turned, her gaze met the others,
A silent bond both fierce and delicate like smothers.
She beckoned close, her fingers curled,
And swirled those unfortunates through her shadowed world.A beginning of a frantic dance upon a sea of mist,
Where every wing gust felt like a tryst,
With darkness draped in velvet black,
And the time that twisted, bent, and cracked.The spell then broke; the dream grew thin,
Those delusionals found themselves where they’d once been.
The gate was gone, the night was still,
But in every heart, there lingered a chill.For though every heart left that cursed realm,
Its shadows clung; they overwhelmed.
And in every soul, dreams and spells were bound,
Whispered secrets lost, never to be found.
Esther Elizabeth Racah -
Magic Insolence
Magic insolence evoked profane desires,
Blooming in the garden of passion,
When stupor and chaos fed the soil and roots,
Under a cloudy sky deprived of stars.Arcane dreams devoured the bright lights,
Devoiding the garden of passion with
Whispers of forgotten rites and shadows,
As petals withered, blackened in the night.The soil became thick with cursed intent,
Breathed out a sigh of ancient grief,
While tangled roots writhed, twisting beneath,
Feeding on darkness, refusing ascent.No stars to guide, no moon to shine,
Only the heft of silent doom,
As ghostly winds stirred the gloom,
The garden lay as time resigned.The aura itself seemed enthralled by dread,
A spell unspoken lingered still,
Bound to the earth with haunting will,
Where only a magic insolence and madness dared to tread.The trees stood twisted, gaunt and bare,
Their branches claws in the murky air.
Each leaf that fell was a silent cry,
A prayer was unanswered beneath the sky.The whispers grew louder, fierce and cold,
Echoing tales of secrets untold.
A dance of shadows began to weave,
Between the tombstones of those who grieve.The flowers, once vibrant with lustrous hue,
Now seeped with sorrow, soaked in blood and dew.
Their beauty lost in the endless night,
A memory fading, devoured by blight.And in the heart of this cursed domain,
Where once passion thrived, now only pain,
A wraith emerged from the creeping dark,
Magic insolence entrapped everything with a mystical spark.With a vacant stare, it gazed in despair,
Bound forever to the garden’s snare.
A prisoner to the magic’s cost,
In this garden where all was lost.The wind moaned softly, a mournful plea,
For the magic of insolence would never release what could never be free,
As the cursed garden stretched its roots,
To claim the souls of shattered fruits.
Esther Elizabeth Racah