Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: desire

  • The Calmness Of Despair

    The Calmness Of Despair

    The calmness of despair filled the firmament
    Having despised vanity as a tempest broke
    The rain was blowing through the windy clouds
    I was not always used to loving dreams
    Once known as happiness lapses
    I went nowhere for one day
    Getting lost in my dreams
    Oftentimes falling into a snare of deceit
    Empty memories full of tears
    An irreverent game of illusions mangled to pieces trust
    Sadness stood at the doorway of the street
    Among the lies of people staring at it

    The calmness of despair was an intense sorrow between life and death
    The fear of terror and pain was caught in a mirror
    When the darkness obscured the emptiness
    A silent ecstasy appeared in my dreams
    A light gleam blew upon me like a hectic wind
    The storm seemed like a gentle breeze that fades
    Grief and pain desired to endure the cold deathless strife
    The fury and the howling of the sky dismantled every speck of serenity
    Indelebile and invisible amnesia of future mistakes
    A silent mystery of undisclosed obsessions hovered
    The dizziness of uncontrollable desires fell like frozen raindrops
    An obscure fate attempted to escape from fear

    In the calmness of despair’s gloom
    No thought would have been flung loose
    As every idealisation became a crystal inside my heart
    And it was impossible to hope and catch a glimpse behind the lids of unconsciousness
    None of my perceptions could lead me to deliverance
    Being constrained by misunderstanding and obstacles
    I had become a mere shadow of my imagination
    A creature of darkness and invisibility without mirrors
    An infinite dreamscape was soon forgotten in the opalescent darkness
    Every time the night shadows fell down in the desert sky
    Lost in my dreams to be never found
    Whispers and illusions met in a terrible embrace

    The calmness of despair in the abyss
    New emotions and thoughts had died too fast
    As long as time was past
    No oracle was allowed to guess
    I looked at the future all alone
    Before having discovered a labyrinth where I lost myself
    And where the pain had healed my wounds
    Completely awoken and sunken into a desire for absence
    The stillness of anguishes is a melody concealed in the ocean
    My dreams were composed of delights and pangs
    And everything was captivated by beauty and insanity
    Whenever a silent cry faded far away beyond all earthly things.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • In The Darkness Of The Night

    In The Darkness Of The Night

    In the darkness of the night
    The stars shone down on sand walls
    And there shall remain black clouds
    Beneath open flames on a dark sky
    Which set fire to ashes
    The sun shone from over a place above
    In search for every fear in its glare
    Its light slowly descended upon me
    It might still be very cold
    As a dream was born one thousand times

    In the darkness of the night
    The night-at-midnight hesitated
    And I was in the darkness
    It was so loud that words could not depict
    My eyes and my heart were locked
    Although it was still beautiful and sublime
    This dream was never the same
    A shadow burnt my heart
    Each moment the soul was torn
    A desire was claimed for each cry

    In the darkness of the night
    I have discovered my dreams
    I thought they were all unattended
    The dimness endured and stayed
    The memories disappeared in the dawn
    When the sky hung with the stars
    Auburn leaves lit the wind
    The beauty of the glow dwelt in the secret of a dream
    The memories of the tomorrow were gone astray

    In the darkness of the night
    I saw a dream I had to remember
    But it was too late
    And even though the vision came again
    I felt only silence and desolation
    Happiness seemed lost, never to return
    A doomed prospect waited at the gate
    With fluorescent glow and deceitful attire
    Tangled in a shining glass made of illusions
    Life is a moment of sheer consciousness

    In the darkness of the night
    My eyes have no reply
    I wonder and doubt not
    As I break the stage of time
    The secret echoes tingle
    I wonder why I need an end to change
    These scars will alter just for all I know
    The light is known as the glow of the clouds
    The silence has a final touch because there is no one to wait
    Strolling in the sky, I disappear as a faint glimmer of light.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Life Made Of Thorns

    A Life Made Of Thorns

    A life made of thorns and wounds and from whom I could ever be the same
    Sometimes things seem a happy game
    Where there is so little to learn
    My heart will be a dream of gold and pearls
    Not having any idea of what it is worth to keep
    In the deception that will always be better at dusk
    From my heart and mind
    As I seek to be pure and untamed
    Always striving to endure the pains

    A life made of thorns
    In this universe, I see only nothing but evil lies
    No longer are you in my heart in any form
    Desires and love
    Unveested and possessed
    And I am filled with a bitter grudge
    Wearing a new fire dress
    The flowers are still there in the garden
    Pretending that the delusions never arrived
    All the past thoughts fled too quickly

    A life made of thorns and gold
    When everything is lost till a dream comes
    In an eternal journey where I was left to survive
    My mind is concealed to the sun growing old
    Every regret has age and shines just like light
    Finding every single glow in my mind and soul
    It looks like everything is secret in my fate
    I can feel the peace of mind and stillness
    There is no fear when there is no hope to acquire
    The magic of exquisite and petrified words is bound to my soul

    A life made of thorns and stones
    The stars linger over flares and bursts
    In the dungeon where I reside, I can hold the sight of my soul
    No longer bound to any mediocre clasp
    Passions are so brief and shallow
    A sheer memory seized my heart
    A feeling of pure desire and bliss melts on my lips
    Nothing but loyal dread brings dreams into my universe
    Sore reflections and unsteadiness of life
    Love kept me blind and meek until I undisclosed a new belief.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Paranormal Life

    Paranormal Life

    Paranormal life is taking place
    Missives from past and future
    A story behind good or evil
    However fair could be this time
    I do always move forward with a chance
    Irrevocable thoughtless by day
    I become made of things out of fantasy
    For years in future, I would not be found
    No matter how is senseless evermore to like what we believe
    I would be better going together in love and hate

    Paranormal life
    Where I have no place
    And the destruction of truth overcomes
    Since I was alone for so long
    And I couldn’t raise my notes
    So I lie down in time inside a real world I’ve made up
    Taking my time through a tough life
    My mind remains still in a moment
    which makes me feel sad
    My thoughts are gone

    Paranormal life
    A life where I can be lost in a world with no roads
    Day after day until tomorrow when the years will disappear
    I am safe as a mystery
    As the truth exists
    It will lead to the future
    Whilst I give up on what it’s happening,
    The reality is based on a need for an eternal journey
    My soul had overcome the darkness
    Releasing freedom from each desire

    Paranormal life
    Every inch of my soul remains unknown
    When I become honest with myself
    Obliterating every trust in love
    And from now, I am lost forever in my new dreams
    Until a new dawn begin for my novel life
    Coming back to an eternity of senses
    In a long life with no shared hope
    For each forgotten moment
    All the last words are gone to the end of time

    Paranormal life was a dream of a tragedy
    Where every fleeting fantasy has a hope to exist
    But no soul remains untamed and intact
    I left myself with a glimpse of imagination
    The beauty of my passions and illusions
    An eternal dream which is divine and belongs only to me
    With time, everything is found in my mind
    Being in a state of my own with no distress or anguish
    Vanity and mysticism exhausted me
    Living becomes no real, and the expectations sink into the dim ocean of nightmares.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Shadows Of Memories

    Shadows Of Memories

    Shadows of memories
    They are made and forgotten
    There is a thought I lost time ago
    Who cares about the time?
    I am walking alone on the way to my intentions
    Things do seem fine and picturesque
    A lifetime was then lost
    The world wants to regress
    Life would be extraordinary without vanity

    Shadows of memories unfold
    Like purple-tainted screams
    While the eyes are still flying
    Behind the illusion to exist
    Just as I once had said
    The presence is no longer desirable
    If my true vision could see
    The sea seemed to be in bloom
    A new life comes once more

    Shadows of memories
    While the world is lost on Earth
    Being destined to doom
    A unique moment comes when old mysteries are learned
    And an hour becomes too long
    Time is the beauty of a life’s mission
    In my mind dwells a calm night shadow
    Dressing in love’s desire

    Shadows of memories are lost
    Time keeps ticking pleasantly
    Instant grief is left forgotten in the abyss of oblivion
    I am sleepless, and I feel unseen
    Only a dream and sorrow are discovered in my treasure chest
    Since the same frolic is always played
    It is rare to be happy to care when life is quite sad
    And respect and love will only thrive on being authentic
    In ways far gone, trust should never have been destroyed

    Shadows of memories remain
    No life should be taken for granted
    Dreams and thoughts wander together
    Spring came into my space
    My slumber is a place of joy and regret
    A mirage of infinity
    The stars of memories are fading high
    The soul is nothing but a breath and an illusion
    In the sunshine and rain, the happiness is all gone

    Shadows of memories in my mind
    Trying to live till they start to fade
    I write a lot of words that I want to release
    But nothing was forgotten in my senses
    When I found out my heart
    Home is in the sky
    Occasionally, roses play with stars
    Everything is peaceful
    Waiting for whatever might happen tomorrow.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Waiting no longer
    Life seems like a dream that will break
    Many things belonging to love always end
    From a life filled with sorrow and bliss
    Time ended everything
    And happiness faded away
    How could I feel hope and fear without a soul
    Being my heart a fragment of despair and desire
    Coping the frightful pain stabbing my soul
    When I stare at my reflection on a white wall
    As it would be another me waiting for my end

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The silent darkness is whispering secrets
    I’m mute because that is how I live
    Invisible and speechless
    As a constant ghost would check my state of mind
    I might be fearful, but I am not
    My soul has never seen the present
    Being bonded between the past and the future
    Its arrival and its flow
    It shall lead to new things to come
    Hope begins once again
    Until it is crushed into pieces

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The truth does not halt in the fall
    I live with wonder
    When there is no need to hide
    Love might give eternal light
    Existence becomes free of grace
    And everything becomes blind
    My thoughts glow above my eyes
    In a perpetual chase for limited emotions
    My mind’s endless glare overcomes me again
    In every moment, a life is born
    A beauty that will be

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Losing parts of myself
    The hushed tears of misery
    So brave and free is my mind
    I dare not make a new choice
    For without any joy
    Life is powerful as truth
    When a heart is full of sorrow
    And sorrow goes with it
    Then the soul can be sensed within it
    A sorrowful bliss and unexpected transformation flow down through the darkness
    In dreams, I never die for
    Until I stand there all alone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Gloomy Sorrow

    A Gloomy Sorrow

    A gloomy sorrow
    A gentle grief
    In a world made of pride
    The soul will never win
    It seems as if no one can be able to love and dreams
    Patience and happiness are rare gifts to be obtained with pain
    When only desire can find peace
    I used to learn my true emotions of mine
    The wisdom becomes a bliss
    Truth is hidden everywhere
    Everything on earth comes to an end

    A gloomy sorrow sweet for all the hours
    At the sound of the darkness spinning around the night
    Few faint glistening hopes find their way through the abyss of dismay
    It would be a joy to love my heart
    But sorrow comes from a long time ago
    And yet, in life, a great beauty shines
    Time does arrive travelling with no destination
    My soul had forgotten words
    A little fear becomes mine
    And my soul is full of pain

    A gloomy sorrow of loneliness
    The soul is smiling during the day
    In vain, a million feelings were meant to die
    Whole memories belonging to me
    Happiness is born to die
    Tomorrow a great fate could last forever
    A treasure to be kept
    While the future loses its feelings
    Bliss would hide in a place beyond eternity
    Being confined and helpless
    Sobbing in a restless night

    A gloomy sorrow
    When the memories were never the same
    A dull despair and delight
    Life and death
    Far away from my mind and thoughts
    The light and shades of my soul shine
    When the eyes are dark and cold
    The flames of hope grow fast
    Every time I write, a little dream manifests
    Like a rose into the breath of the universe
    When they call my name, I strive

    A gloomy sorrow in the night
    Longing to be seen
    But a heavy cold sadness falls down
    A white sun of light is glowing
    And every ray of sunshine has blossomed from every side
    Just as soon as the clouds fly through the air
    The beauty of joy crosses the whole world
    Heavy thoughts have drifted into my soul
    The remembrance of a distant way I have travelled
    I feel a longing to comfort my thoughts
    I shall be loved by my anguish and wait no longer.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Apathetic Wonder

    An Apathetic Wonder

    An apathetic wonder at the sight of all the future catastrophes
    A meaningful fear traps me and pulls me into the abyss of obscurity
    Ghosts and spectres are my eager companions
    Being in many places in one day
    Travelling time quickly in a preternatural form
    A glare of light and fire pretended to scare me
    Everything was a dream of a vision
    And suddenly, the present night appears
    No more complaints when the world would outcast

    An apathetic wonder like a golden morning candle
    For another cold scent of winter
    When the rain does not stop pouring on the streets
    In the heat
    And my blood is frozen like the winter snow
    The beautiful colours of stars become flowers
    All of a sudden
    A mystery which never existed has been the truth on earth
    Trying to forget distasteful memories

    An apathetic wonder of the sky
    Every time a desire becomes complex
    Every moment of happiness and sorrow
    It cannot happen again
    An opportunity for the mind
    Incurable wounds of the soul
    Nothing but excellent astonishments
    The water is everywhere, coming from the blue
    Creating a vast ocean of tears and sighs

    An apathetic wonder
    Being busy living within my soul
    Those ancient memories
    From every place of my mind
    Passing along with my own dreams
    The sky is pure and dark
    A lovely gloomy air
    Where I cannot perceive any colour or sound
    During an infinite journey in my subconscious

    An apathetic wonder in a light storm
    Winged like nothing else
    My words fly away
    Toward a remote invisible place
    Where every kind of bliss and pain was dwelling
    Once the sun was gone
    As a gilded sign of merriment
    And red roses were made of silver and gold
    My heart could not beat anymore in delight
    Because my dreams were open doors.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Moping In Solitude

    Moping In Solitude

    Moping in solitude
    Loyalty and pleasure
    And a strange state of daze
    It was neither plain nor fair
    Yet as I sat alone
    A weary heart desiring to go
    So lost at last
    I’m alone in everything
    With dreams made of light
    Before the eternal death
    Suffering the time with faith
    Discovering absurdities and disappointment

    Moping in solitude,
    Every time I woke up
    And it would be a happy day
    I walk around and fancy
    It seems so little the pain I felt
    To think again about how people acted and thought
    The world is up to see an end
    And I’ll see where I am going
    The reason I have the capability to do so
    One moment, of course, would be enough
    Then know not even a day of desire
    All would be easy but disgrace

    Moping in solitude
    Not looking for any doubt
    I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
    I found another smile today from the night
    Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
    Over and over again
    On a pleasant highway
    There was not even one reason to stay
    But the road has gone high,
    And, of course, loneliness
    Where love grew dark
    While seeing smirking faces

    Moping in solitude
    Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
    A decadent comfort
    If the end would come
    Because I always knew what was now
    I shouldn’t care
    But listening to the last image
    That would be very pretty
    And yet it really cannot be known
    Of what kind of things
    I must seem to reach out too far
    Beyond any limit and imagination.

    I might envision my defeat
    Loyal to my dreams
    And always lost in the maze of discomfort
    Always hated but never forgotten
    The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
    I will never conform to others’ will.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Echo Of A Broken Dream

    The Echo Of A Broken Dream

    The echo of a broken dream
    Is the sky’s vast light
    Which is rising in winter’s rain
    From the flight of little birds
    A song to drink and dance
    It can be heard faraway
    Thinking about time and failure
    So short life to regret
    Unending and unlimited endeavours for life’s delight
    When dreams come
    What might be lost could be found
    But long is the path of mistakes and struggles
    Never well-known enough to prevent distress and anguish
    In sleepless nights something and nothing has been revealed
    It always began the creation
    Destroying and creating
    By chance and love
    Like no more devotion would be granted like before
    Each thought of desire would be loyal and engraved
    Reading the infinite source of darkness
    And still enjoying every strive and pang
    In the hope of living inside an untamed soul
    Never like before
    It would become a gloomy and arduous heart

    The echo of a broken dream
    The sea of darkness is blasting
    Now that the night has come
    Harkening to the wind
    Whenever the wildness of the sea is fearless and indomitable
    The fallen souls have drifted into a slumber time
    Sighing along the cliff of the abyss
    Never seen to this day what it might not be quested
    A beautiful forsaken tale would be a lavish obscure dream
    A wonder and a marvel
    Sunken down into a remote universe
    Since the eternity
    It has always been there for me
    And always will be
    With no guesses or questions about life
    I fell down into the chasm of the time
    When it is believed to cast away the darkness and shadows
    With the loss of eternity
    Whilst everything was bound together inside a hidden and blissful oasis
    Every kind of dream was being offered like some joyful lie
    Sweet like poison and bitter like truth
    Like those revelations that will never be disclosed
    And desires would be offered as secret snares

    The echo of a broken dream
    Which lived forever in the abysm of the sea
    And was made of divine light
    New eternal dimensions are recreated
    The vision of a single and lonely night
    The world would start all over again and again
    Until all the clouds of darkness would end
    And the wonders of harmony and hymns would be created
    The world’s clout will last forever
    Truly and devotedly
    Days depart and perish
    Every longing will convey a new route of deception and authenticity
    Change delivers wisdom in the everlastingness
    When only one new lifetime is allowed to become true
    Love is death, love is untamed, love is betrayal, and love is life
    Being trapped in a new belief
    Acting to set free every uncoveted desire inside the soul
    And wishing to find a place in the universe
    If everything could materialise in an abode with faithful devotion
    There would be only bliss and an ever-lasting delight in life
    Certitude and suspicion could obliterate each other
    Probity and passion would be devoted eternally

    The echo of a broken dream
    Stalled so perfectly in my mind and once more disappeared
    As forgotten for ages
    Such a feeling of authentic dismay
    I disclosed the evening
    Lingering for darkness and nightmares
    A soft touch of sharp thorns
    Although pain and tears could flood my heart
    So many times
    I have been destined
    And magnificence would be a journey of delight and bliss
    Nothing else
    After my soul wandered lost in torment and misery
    With no more passion
    Dreaming that in a swoon
    My heart would always glow
    Not at all because of pleasure
    But striving to return to its primordial harmony.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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