Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: emotional torment

  • Among Heartbeats And Sighs

    Among Heartbeats And Sighs

    Among heartbeats and sighs, I passed my long summer nights, while dew from the flowers wetted my skin. Purity and lust blended, luring me to the garden of the forbidden desires.

    The wind carried the exquisite poison of my flowers to my lips, awakening my body. I was mesmerised and enchanted with the phantom beauty of my own descent.

    I dreamed of marvellous roses sumptuously stroking my body, leaving me in ecstatic bliss. I grabbed and bit the fruits of delirium and madness ready to satisfy my greed.

    Desire and avarice were my startling cravings, which made my heart beat again and again like a source of power. I was dominated by my passions that monopolised all my attention.

    I fell into the trap of my mistakes and cried out all my pangs as if my teardrops could have erased all that dismay. I kept a multitude of longings in my secret treasure chest, which I sealed with tears and blood.

    A gloomy cloud of fear and disillusion enveloped me threateningly, deterring me from staring at the luminaries shining bright in the dark blue firmament.

    I was conquered like prey by my most wicked impulses, which were conducting me to the brink of madness. I couldn’t find peace anymore in my slumber since evil ghouls were keeping me eternally awake.

    Demise would have been the portal of my liberation, and instead, I was playing with ghosts and magical roses. I didn’t want to accept the truth, I desired to pretend that everything was perfectly terrible.

    The silver moon gleamed upon me pouring its ethereal light over my garden of woe and sorrow. And among heartbeats and sighs, I remained silent and listened to the whispers of the nocturnal breeze.

    I could scent the taste of poison and blood on my red lips. I felt a burden in my chest burning like an everlasting flame. I wished fervently to be a free butterfly flying over enchanted flowers. I wished intensely to be a free bird, soaring high amidst clouds and stars.

    A spell was cast over me, binding my heart to invisible phantoms. Desires had ensnared me in their vicious frolic, melting my heart into a lake of fire and ice. Therefore, I became a creature of that realm of shadows and darkness.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sweet And Mournful Curses

    Sweet And Mournful Curses

    Sweet and mournful curses fell all over me like a midsummer rain shower, while I was enticed frantically by my nocturnal demons with shallow folly. All alone I tried to disentangle myself from those chains of obsession.

    I could barely breathe and I wasn’t able to remember my name at all. So reserved and bashful as I was born, I couldn’t avoid wandering nowhere to find myself and the arcane secret locked by my fate.

    I had wished for myself a different destiny that would have granted me solace and delights. No peace remained in my treasure chest but only the dust of decay and a sparkle of dismay.

    A defending silence claimed that I was insolent for my fearless dreams. I missed the calm nights at the candlelight soothed by the sound of lullabies of ocean storms.

    I envisioned the image of skeletons each time I approached the silver surface of a broken mirror. A feverish delirium forced me to succumb to the darkness of the night.

    I might have been dead. I might have been alive. The gelid arrows of the frosty wind penetrated my heart that was burning like an everlasting flame. So frail I felt I could crumble like a crystal flower under the influence of devastation.

    Maybe the abyss of descent had swallowed me like a wild monster from the underworld. Chaos bound me like a velvet veil fallen from the gloomy sky, while shadows hushed me as if I were on the brink of disclosing their enigmas.

    Sweet and mournful curses lulled me to death, engraving my epitaph on every stone of my dungeon. A magnificent melancholy consoled me now that I was nothing but just the spoil of myself.

    I had created my own doom by means of my own nightmares. Was I the real and only creator of my own oblivion? That question echoed in my head forever like a haunting dream. I couldn’t even surprise myself anymore.

    So greatly lured was I, drawn into the maze of my own turmoil, where each image promised only ecstasy and instead offered me only exquisite torment. So much intertwined I was in the spiderweb of my fears that I could liberate myself.

    Devoured by my own passions and obsessions, I was steeped in sweet and mournful curses, which clung to my very heart like insidious ivy. Meanwhile, the imperceptible sound of the night surrounded me like mystic mist. And there I remained like a frozen butterfly in a garden of shimmering glaze.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Bound To A Spell Of Death

    Bound To A Spell Of Death

    Bound to a spell of death
    Condemned to feel the poundage of my grief
    Grief that manifested each day deep inside my heart
    Using memories to pierce my heart and let me languish

    I knew not what I was expecting behind the doorway of my fate
    The uncertainty and fears cloaked me in a dark
    veil
    I couldn’t see anything beyond my sight of discernment
    Since I was a prisoner of my own thoughts

    Bound to a spell of death
    I wandered in the wilderness of my nightmares
    Getting lost so many times that I embraced my disorientation
    Chaos and madness were manifestations of my true self

    My passions set my heart ablaze
    An inextinguishable flame burning in silence
    While the luminaries watched in silence
    I confessed my secret desire, a forbidden desire

    I couldn’t find any delight in my existence
    As if joy itself were always out of reach for me
    And solace was forbidden to a soulless creature like myself
    Since my birth, my body has been pierced by poisoned daggers

    I was bruised and my wounds bled blood and submission
    I came to the edges of the abyss of death
    I saw my life wither and decay to dust
    And I became a part of that underworld

    I felt a serpentine ivy chain me to a throne of decadence
    I was a captive in the dungeon of misery and destruction
    I drank from the goblet of oblivion and I forgot all my memories
    The devastation of my soul was irreversible

    The stars seemed to collapse in the darkness
    While thunders ruled the kingdom of the night sky
    Clouds swirled like ancient ghosts around my head
    And the wind howled secrets no creature could bear the sound

    I sat on my throne as a queen of shadows and decay
    The deafening silence surrounded me
    Hissing spectres crowned my dungeon made of sorrow
    A wicked destiny had cast an enchantment over me that I could no longer break
    I was eternally bound to a spell of death.
    Elisabetta

  • In The Dungeon Of My Decay

    In The Dungeon Of My Decay

    In the dungeon of my decay
    I was chained by my nightmares
    Although I strove to escape from them
    It was useless every attempt at freedom
    Since the last night, I fell into a deep slumber
    I belonged to the realm of nightmares
    The reality around me disappeared
    Nothing anymore was real but my screams and cries

    All my teardrops formed an ocean of madness
    My body floated inside this abyss made of water and blood
    All my sweet memories had become pins and daggers piercing my heart
    I embodied nightmares and dungeon
    A dreadful doorway revealed its den of iniquity to me
    I sowed my heart in blighted earth
    Under the blazing eyes of skull-born flames
    No longer affected by my own heart’s relentless pang

    I knew not what my fate would have reserved for me
    But that uncertainty lacerated my soul
    While I felt bewildered hearing oaths from shadows
    Sworn by voices twisted like serpents around me
    My madness tempted me to bury my long-forsaken past
    The sky above cracked like a porcelain sculpture
    Beneath the crimson light of merciless stars
    Stealing my bleeding longings from me
    
    I wandered through a maze of chains and candles
    From each mirror, memories shouted at me through the glass
    Delivering dismay and despair
    My bleeding heart was stitched with spasms and regret
    I was a miserable creature being left with only sorrow and solitude
    No hope and no love were reserved for me
    Fate had decided, and nothing could have been changed
    I lost all my tears, and I remained voiceless

    My despair was a constant dagger inside my heart
    And I had to surrender to its power and brutality
    A powerless and withered flower I had become
    I was a relic and a shadow of my nightmares
    No vital pulse remained inside me and no drop of blood was left in my body
    Life left me and death seized me
    I became a spoil in the dungeon of my decay
    Blood and the carcass of my heart remained the remnants of my body when I vanished into oblivion.
    Elisabetta

© Esther Racah 2026. All rights reserved.