Tag: english

  • Torn To Pieces

    Torn To Pieces

    Torn To Pieces

    I’ve been torn to pieces
    Hidden in a silent alcove
    I lost my integrity
    The integrity which made me shine like a star
    Now that I’m not anymore a shining star
    I’m a fragment of myself
    A piece whose beauty is lost
    Once a tiny part of a beautiful artwork
    Which is sinking in a vast ocean of despair
    The despair of the uncertainty
    Powerless to escape from this misery
    I disappear into my fantasy
    Where I can refuge
    Like a beautiful and graceful butterfly
    Running from a cruel reality
    Which is like an obscure fortress
    Where a labyrinth traps everything
    A mysterious maze made of isolation and silence
    An imperceptible and invisible fortress
    A fortification that dwells inside the soul
    A snare made of fears and prejudices
    A  lure built on grief and prostration
    I’ve been torn to pieces
    Sad hallucinations find a new stance
    In the disruption of the unconsciousness
    The time ceases to exist
    Futile fears find their realm
    A kingdom of rags and scraps
    The pieces of my soul
    Like the fragments of a shattered shining mirror
    Whose several remnants shine in the moonlight.
    Esther Racah

  • Mrs Dalloway By Virginia Woolf

    Mrs Dalloway By Virginia Woolf

    Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf is her fourth novel and the publication year is 1925. It is a parallel portrayal of this book’s two main characters: Clarissa Dalloway and Septimus Warren Smith. 

    Virginia Woolf and Mrs Dalloway

    Clarissa Dalloway is a rich woman in her fifties, and Septimus Warren Smith is a war veteran. While Septimus struggles to recover from his post-traumatic stress disorder, Clarissa is organising a party, recalling old memories. The happening of the party of Clarissa is simultaneous with the decline of Septimus’s mental conditions. Virginia Woolf expresses a subtle critic of the medical profession and society classism. There is a correlation between the personal experience of the author and the characters of this fictional book. Indeed, Woolf had bipolar disorder, and the suicide theme appears in the novel as anticipation of Virginia’s life end. And of course, the thematic of feminism is present with the contrast between rich and working women. Clarissa is a rich and gracious woman in her fifties who is married. And she recalls memories of herself falling in love with her girlfriend, Sally Seton. Sally is a girl of French descent and with a peculiar personality. Miss Seton is unconventional with a bit of egotism, and she doesn’t follow society’s rules. Clarissa and Sally have a platonic relationship even though both of them married later on. The personality of the writer is split into the characters of Clarissa and Septimus. Indeed, they embody two different aspects of Mrs Woolf’s personality. 

    The torments of Virginia 

    Unquestionably this book reflects some personal aspects of Virginia’s life with all the emotional implications. Virginia Woolf was in a long relationship with the writer Vita Sackville-West starting from 1922. Virginia found generous support in Vita during her struggles with depression. Mrs Woolf had nervous breakdowns during her life, and her depression was getting worse as she was ageing. Depression that culminated in her suicide when she was 59 years old. In the last letter to her husband Leonard, Virginia, was describing her mental issues. She started to hear voices, and she was feeling powerless in front of her terrible disease (as she describes it). And so she decided to stop spoiling her husband life, with this extreme and improper decision. She wrote to her husband that even though he tried to make her happy, her illness prevented her from enjoying her marital life with him. In the character of Septimus, Virginia describes her mental conditions, such as his hallucinations and hearing voices, in particular, the one of Evans, who died during the war. 

    Image by WikiImages from Pixabay

    A hypocrite society 

    In this novel, the society is hypocrite, superficial and insensitive. It is clear when Septimus is under the “cares” of doctor Holmes, who underestimates the gravity of his mental conditions. On the contrary, the doctor puts under pressure the poor Mr Smith, with his daily intrusions in the patient’s house against Mrs Reza Smith’s will, the wife of Septimus. The disillusion in human nature, the feelings of loneliness, desertion, and condemnation from a society that only judge and isolate without helping, fuel the despair of Septimus Smith. He gives up since he cannot bear the judgement of people who, in his believes, wants him dead for social wellbeing. The specialist doctor Bradshaw, well known for mental breakdown cases, prescribes merely a period of rest in a nursing home. The anguish of Septimus was the same as Virginia’s one when she decided that she couldn’t bear living her life anymore. This novel is a subtle accusation against the medical circle described as arrogant, superficial and inhumane. The same superficiality allows Clarissa Dalloway to live in her fake world made of parties and unnamed friends. Indeed, she got to know the suicide of a young man while enjoying her party. In her opinion death were defiance and an attempt to communicate, not feeling any compassion for him. 

    Image by F. Muhammad from Pixabay

    Impressions

    The unusual features of Mrs Dalloway by Virginia Woolf are a reflection of the writer’s polyhedric personality. She was a feminist and a bisexual when bisexuality was unusual and considered a transgression. After the year 1970, her books were an inspiration for the group of feminists. The main themes of this fictional-and-not novel are life, death, love, and mental health. The contrast between the lightness and frivolity of the rich Clarissa and the dramatic struggle of Septimus is the metaphor of Virginia’s two sides. Unusual book but also very tragic, it is a masterwork of English literature. 

  • Absolute Silence

    Absolute Silence

    Absolute Silence

    My mind is blank
    My emotions are frozen
    And I remain motionless
    Until the moment I can enjoy the absolute silence
    I don’t need anymore to express myself with words
    Every memory disappears
    And I find myself in a state of peaceful bliss
    I can enjoy the absolute silence
    With no pains and no fears
    No sounds can be perceived
    Now that this bliss seems to be endless
    I don’t feel any disquiet.
    Esther Racah

  • The Vanity Fair Novel

    The Vanity Fair Novel

    Vanity Fair is a satirical novel by the British author William Makepeace Thackeray. In this fictional novel, there is not a hero, and the author uses a first-person narrative. The inspiration came from the opera “The Pilgrim’s Progress” of John Bunyan. Indeed, Thackeray expresses his points of view, philosophical visions, and critics about society. 

    A Novel Without A Hero

    In this novel, there are different main characters. Economic and social statuses are critical in the Vanity Fair society. The society of the British Regency period is under the conscientious analysis of the writer, who adopts a tone, which is satirical, ironic and cynic. In that historical period, merchant companies and banks were growing as well as the East India Company. I have to confess that I found this book very unusual, and I noticed that the reader is never passive. On the contrary, I felt involved with the adventures involving the characters. I had the impression to be in a theatre, suffering and enjoying passionately with most of the characters.

    The Vanity Fair Society

    The vicious and misogynist society of the Regency period in England was very insensitive to women ( I would also add cynic! ). Undoubtedly, a woman was supposed to marry a man who could ensure her financial stability. In this way, she could belong to a high social rank. In Vanity Fair, the unmarried women or “spinsters” can only find despite, pity and solitude. Indeed, this is a society of ageists, conformists and hypocrites. It is a human jungle where people have to fight for their survival. Usually, the winners belong to the wealthy and élitaire class, leaving the poor and pleb in their despair. The most important value is the economic condition of a person and their social status.

    The Adventurer Becky

    In this novel, there is no hero; nevertheless, the naive and honest Amelia could be the heroine of this unusual romance. Amelia embodies all the good traits of the traditional woman of those times. She is so humble, submissive, feminine, good-natured, loyal and naive. Nevertheless, she is not so well-educated and independent, differently from Becky. Vanity Fair is the best place to find the adventurers, who live day by day, improvising like actors without a script. Rebecca or Becky is the queen of an audacious and adventurous life. She is the antithesis of Amelia. Indeed she is amoral, selfish and greedy. Nevertheless, Rebecca is brilliant, beautiful, cultured and very smart. She doesn’t run after moral values. Becky uses people as tools to improve her social status. Moreover, she is nonconformist and shameless. 

    Starting A New Life

    In the first part of Vanity Fair, Amelia Sedley and Rebecca Sharp are the main female characters. They just finished the school at the Miss Pinkerton’s academy for young ladies, on Chiswick Mall. They start a new life, which I would define the real-life once they became two adults. The taste of this novel is bitter and sweet. There is a tragicomedy where nobody wins. Every victory and glorious moment will end up like lifeless creatures at the end of their days. Amelia’s father is a merchant in London, so she belongs to a wealthy family. On the contrary, Becky is the daughter of a late English painter and a French opera-girl. Rebecca is a good singer and dancer. Additionally, she also speaks French fluently, and she embroiders splendidly.

    Rebecca’s Childhood

    Becky had an unfortunate and sad childhood with a father beating the wife and the daughter under the alcohol effects. When he was sober, he was spending his time with other artists in Soho. Hence, Rebecca was meeting different artists in taverns. She used to speak French with her mother, who was from Paris. Rebecca was not a rich girl differently to the other girls of the Pinkerton Academy. The author describes her as a small, pale, sandy-haired girl with bright green eyes. Indeed an attractive, beautiful and clever girl started to be a “woman” when she was eight years old, after her mother’s death. The society “blames” her because she doesn’t belong to a wealthy nor aristocratic family, so she is not entitled to a good match.

    Sedley’s House

    The beginning of a new life for both Amelia and Becky takes place at Sedley’s house. Here Becky starts to practice her alluring arts of a charming actress. Rebecca wants to captivate the attention of Joseph Sedley. Jos is Amelia’s brother and, he is a vain and a selfish boy, who is a real dandy. In Becky’s eyes, he is perfect because he is rich and belongs to a prosperous family. She tries every effort to get involved in a relationship with Jos. Nevertheless, in the end, the boy refuses her, and she leaves Sendley family to embrace a new life. In this period, Amelia, or Emmy, meets again her childhood friend George Osborne, a very handsome, aristocratic and selfish lad. George belongs to a merchant family, which is richer than the Sedley family, and Emmy is genuinely in love with him. Another character is Captain William Dobbin, who is the best friend of George Osborne, and he falls in love with Amelia. 

    At Queen’s Crawley

    After a period at the Sedley’s, Rebecca Sharp moves to her next destination, Crawley’s house, as Sir Pitt Crawley’s two daughters’ governess. Sir Pitt Crawley, is baronet and owner of Queen’s Crawley; and he has two sons, Pitt and Rawdon, from the first marriage, and two daughters, from the second marriage. Becky gets married to Rawdon, who is an officer passing most of his time gambling. In the same period, Amelia gets married to George. Lord Osborne is very stunned and upset because he doesn’t like Amelia with her family.

    Flow Of Events In Vanity Fair

    During the Battle of Waterloo, all the main characters go to Brussels. Jos Sedley escapes, and George dies in the campaign. Becky neglects and hates her child, little Rawdon. Oppositely to Becky, Emmy loves her child, Georgy. The Seidler’s misery forces Amelia to entrust her child to Lord Osborne, who adopts little Georgy. Emmy and Becky’s friendship ends up with many tensions before George’s death, who was in love with Rebecca. Once a widow, Emmy lives in miserable conditions with her parents due to his father’s businesses’ bankruptcy. After her parents’ death, Emmy moves to a better house with her child Georgy and her brother Jos. She makes new acquaintances of the sophisticated world, and she enjoys her new life. Time to time, William Dobbin visits her after he confessed to Amelia that he loved her for twelve years.

    The End Of Vanity Fair

    Once Rawdon repudiates Becky, he will end his days in Coventry Island as governor. The exaggeration of Rebecca’s improper behaviour, flirting with different men, is why her lousy reputation in all aristocrats. Her ambition to be part of the aristocracy ruined her. And it is at this very moment that she experiences rejection and solitude. So Becky travels a lot, moving from one place to another, living in different countries such as France, Germany, Italy, and Belgium. She enjoys her adventurous life meeting several people up to the day she meets Jos Sedley, her first “love”. She convinces him to rescue her from her misery and poverty, and Amelia invites Rebecca to live in her house. The naive Emmy will know once for all that her late husband did not love her, and he was cheating Amelia. And so, for Amelia, this is the turning point in her life, and she abandons her past grief. 

    Some Curiosities

    Some character has a family name related to their nature. For example, sharp can refer to a razor’s sharpness since the men involved romantically with Becky died. Furthermore, sharp in archaic English was a synonym of cheating. Indeed, she cheated different times her husband Rawdon with very wealthy and aristocratic men. In Vanity Fair novel, there is an obsession with lavishness and luxuriance. Indeed, it is crucial belonging to a wealthy and influential family. The primary purpose of women life is to find a rich and respectable husband. Women could work only as governesses and servants. Only a few educated women were embracing the career of the writer. Rebecca is a very erudite woman, but her main goal is to marry a rich and aristocratic man. In her house, she welcomes pleasantly different men, entertaining them like a “showgirl”. Besides singing wonderfully, she knows how to be engaging and charming. 

    Notes

    The Vanity Fair novel is a metaphor of the human vanities, and it’s perfectly suitable in modern times. Happiness and misery can coexist in this picturesque tragicomedy where there is no shortage of twists and turns. An example is when Rawdon finds his wife, Becky, in the company of the wealthy aristocrat Lord Steyne in the middle of the night. The author defines this book as a comic story. Comic as the charade which is staged in one of the several parties organised by Lord Steyne. In this pantomime, the excellent actress Becky (actress in real life and on stage), plays Clytemnestra. Of course, nothing happens by mistake in this vanity parade! Like Clytemnestra, who killed her husband, Becky Sharp is in a certain way related to the death of the beloved Rawdon and Jos. Becky bewitches with her enchanting voice and beauty. Her charisma, self-confidence, culture and intelligence attract men of all ages and social ranks. Nevertheless, she is cold minded, and she knows how to get what she wants.

    At The End

    I would say that the behaviour of Rebecca Sharp reminds me of The Prince by Niccolò Machiavelli. In Machiavelli’s opera, we find the sentence “il fine giustifica I mezzi”, which means that the goal justifies the actions. And so it does not matter the way we reach our goals rather the plan itself. Rebecca embodies this “virtue”, which is described by Machiavelli. Indeed, she always achieved her dreams no matter if she used people as puppets. Undeniably, there are so many Rebeccas, both women and men, who don’t care so much about others’ welfare and exploit people viciously, being aware of their selfishness and narcissism.

    Ah! Vanitas Vanitatum! Which of us is happy in this world? Which of us has his desire? or, having it, is satisfied? – Come, children, let us shut up the box and the puppets, for our play is played out. William Makepeace Thackeray. 

  • Hopeless

    Hopeless

    Hopeless

    Hopeless as I feel
    I perceive the emptiness of the dreams I didn’t realise
    Because it was arduous to believe in them
    Hence I have nothing to say but spare written words
    Words that keep me alive and conscious
    Nothing else is worthy of consideration
    Nothing else is worthy of belief
    Indeed every trust and hope is gone
    And I live a lifeless existence made of aborted dreams
    Dreams which are never going to be born
    It is too complicated to achieve something in this life
    It is too arduous to carry this burden alone
    Pleasures are just an illusion of the mind
    There are only sorrow and exhaustion
    I am senseless and apathetic
    Being surrounded by books and scattered notes
    As I realise my inner silence
    I can only succumb to the heaviness of their countless words
    There is a lot to discover in ourselves
    It is up to us to seek our inner peace and happiness

    Many reasons give us the life we own
    Few reasons can be intelligible
    Since most of them are inexplicable
    Although sometimes I feel hopeless, I rejoice in it
    Indeed, I wouldn’t exist without my crushed dreams.
    Esther Racah

  • The Book Of Emma By Jane Austen

    The Book Of Emma By Jane Austen

    The book of Emma by Jane Austen is a unique masterwork of British literature. Indeed, it is one of the most read books in history and a marvellous novel. Emma is the second book on my first list of books

    Emma in a few lines

    The main character of this book is Emma, who is a twenty-one years old girl. She is a charming, smart, and rich young lady. However, she doesn’t enjoy to study, and she categorises people because of their social-economical status. Nevertheless, she is merciful with the poor, and she loves to match people around her. In the beginning, she is determined to enjoy her life as a single woman because she doesn’t intend to marry.

    On the other side, Mr Knightley is a wealthy close friend who sometimes disapproves Emma’s behaviour, even though he is a kindhearted and benevolent man. Besides Emma and Mr Knightley, the other characters of the novel are Mr and Mrs Weston, Emma’s closest family, the wealthy and jolly Frank Churchill, the selfish and bad-mannered Mr and Mrs Elton, the well-educated and beautiful Jane Fairfax, the beautiful and naive Harriet Smith, and Emma’s father, Mr Woodhouse.

    The marvellous novel of Emma

    I started reading this fabulous novel, which is a book of fifty-five chapters. In the first chapter, there is a description of Emma as the youngest of two daughters living happily in a comfortable house. I use the term marvellous to define this novel because of the book’s happy and cheerful atmosphere.

    The main character is a woman like in Macbeth (check my first and second blog post about Macbeth). Of course, there is a considerable difference since lady Macbeth is a wicked and deceitful woman. Instead, Emma is a good-hearted girl who sometimes can commit some mistakes like every human. They are similar because of their strong personality and leadership. They influence people surrounding them, and they are tenacious in their purposes.  

    One of my favourite books

    Emma is one of my favourite books, and I’m delighted to reread it. Indeed the first time I’ve read Emma was during my adolescence. And I confess that I love Emma Woodhouse’s character because I see in her some traits of my personality. She is a modern heroine, after all, since I can imagine her in today’s society. Although the publication year happened to be 1815, the book of Emma by Jane Austen is a modern romance without any doubt.

    This novel is the most special one among Jane Austen’s books. The independent and outstanding personality of Emma makes her a real modern heroine. Indeed, she relies on her wisdom, which she uses to instruct and guide people around her. She has gracious manners and intelligence; hence she is well considered by most of all her friends. She is a tutor of a girl who must learn how to dive into society because she is still very naive. 

    Even though Emma can appear as snobby and judgemental, she is not selfish because she takes care of the others. Matching couples, and advising with guidelines to her closest friends, in particular women. From time to time, she commits mistakes unintentionally; indeed, Emma is not a wicked woman. Surely, she devotes herself to improve other’s life. She has high self-esteem, which she uses most of the time. I will continue to read this beautiful book. And I will write more in the next blog posts. 

  • The complexity Of Macbeth

    The complexity Of Macbeth

    The complexity of Macbeth is beyond all imagination. Shakespeare’s Macbeth is more than a shallow play. Indeed it is a complex book, which I’ve read with grievous feelings. It was not easy to run through it as I was planning to do. Indeed I’ve been struggling between the archaic English’s difficulty and the dramatic aura of this tragedy. 

    The complex character of Macbeth

    The story of Macbeth is a timeless tragedy. The plot could take place in another historical period. Macbeth’s obsession for power reaches the pinnacle of his psychosis when he loses his mind after committing many murders. Although at the beginning lady Macbeth abets her husband to commit those terrible crimes, in the end, he is in charge of his choices, forgetting the taste of fear.

    The complexity of Shakespeare’s Macbeth is because he is not a typical antihero. In the first part of the book, he is a fearless warlord serving the king loyally. At the end of the drama, he is familiar with his slaughterous thoughts, and at that precise moment, lady Macbeth dies. Her death happens because she realises and regrets all her misdeeds. She is an architect and accomplice of those crimes. 

    Initially, the madness and cruelty of Macbeth are uncontrollable, not realising the brutality of his misconduct. Later, he feels torment and excruciation because of his actions. Even if Macbeth is not afraid of anything ( he even evokes and queries the supernatural forces ), nevertheless, he is weak. He dies in the final fight against Macduff, whose wife and son died at the hands of Macbeth. 

    The immoral traits of Lady Macbeth

    The insanity of Lady Macbeth is evident since the beginning of this tragedy when she urges her husband to murder the king to become a queen.  She is dominant and fierce even though she is a devoted wife. Indeed, she supports her husband’s breakdowns, every time he has pangs of guilt because of the atrocities he commits.

    In the first part of the tragedy, she is the real main character for her dark charisma and tenacity, which lead Macbeth to all his infamous deeds. Nonetheless, she changes embracing the insecurities and madness of her husband. During her nocturnal somnambulism, she tries to wash away the bloodstains from her hands, as proof of her unconscious regret because of all the murders Macbeth committed.  

    If, in the beginning, she was insane and immoral; in the end, her morality emerges. She realises her guilt. She becomes fragile, ending up her life. In this sense, it can be appropriate to define her immorality as moral once she understands her misconduct. On the other hand, Macbeth fights up to the end to defend his status of a king. He disappears in the same way as he appears in the book as a fighting soldier, although an evil one. 

    Macbeth is a masterpiece and classic of the literature, which will remain a landmark in western culture. The complexity of Macbeth is not easy to disengage and explain thoroughly. I just wrote my impressions and not a detailed description and analysis. 

© Esther Racah 2025. All rights reserved.