Waiting for my dreams to wither like dry flowers
Constantly sinking into the oblivion of sadness and dizziness
Unaware of what could happen to my soul
Having lost every hope to save my dreams
Finding my sweet haven in my darkest grief
Slowly avoiding thinking and surrendering to the course of my vicious fate
I let the ocean waves swallow me into the chasms of unconsciousness
To avoid seeing the reflection of my memories in mirrors of shady dismay
The silence of the night lulled me to a deep slumber where I finally could feel peace and gaiety
My idle heart became a frozen stone full of sand and dust
Whilst I wandered in the desolate forest of my fears
Waiting for my dreams to be my only consolation
For I was aware of the evanescence of the stars gleaming in the night sky
Indeed, every single anguish of mine became a tiny leaf that the cold breeze lifted away from my gaze
So quickly was flowing my existence like a tumultuous river that I lost the sense of time
And I remained therefore languid in a garden without flowers or trees
A garden of darkness and shadows where no mortal could find me
My foremost hideaway in which I could flee the hideous threats from the world of reality
I didn’t pay attention to the consequences of my enchanted illusions
Dread and cynicism accompanied me at every step as unwelcome and unavoidable guests
Secrets were locked within me and only nonsense was guiding me in the eternal gloom of my seclusion
In vain I strove to reach out to the moonlight
Nevertheless, I had been cast away too far
Surrounded by nothing but loneliness and bleakness
I was left crying tears made of madness and turmoil.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: fate
-
Waiting For My Dreams
-
Entangled In My Own Disquiet
Entangled in my own disquiet
I found myself in a state of confusion
Collapsing into a vortex of chaos and despair
I might have been able to overcome my fears
But I was not capable of escaping the lonelinessThere were no mirrors in my secret dwelling
Where candles and shadows were my loyal confidantes
And an absolute silence was soothing me like a soft lullaby
While my sighs hid tears of griefThinking of myself as a tiny leaf in an immense ocean
I was surrendered to fate, ready to be swallowed up in the abyss of oblivion
Lost in a turmoil of obsessions and dismayMany times I wished to escape from the labyrinth of my fantasies
But deceptions were always following my trail
I knew no serenity
Instead, I was condemned to wander endlesslyTime didn’t know me as I existed in a surreal dimension
I belonged to the realm of darkness and obliteration
And I was a victim of the impetuous winds of the long winter nightI felt the discomfort of reality
It was like wearing a sumptuous dress made of thorns and quills
I lived as a doll locked in an airtight boxNo creature could ever perceive me
No creature could ever hear my sobs and sighs
No mirror could reflect my imageI was inevitably entangled in my own disquiet
Although the stillness around me pacified my soul
I didn’t feel any urgency to rescue myself
Indeed, my drowsy heart couldn’t perceive anything anymoreI had no longing, no desire left
I’ve never been in the garden of devotion and love
I’ve always been shrouded in clouds of invisibility
Always surrounded by candles and spiderwebs
Lost in a cloud of incense and blooming night flowers
Elisabetta Esther -
The Realm Of Absurdities And Contradictions
The realm of absurdities and contradictions
A world of pure bliss and madness
Where dreams get lost and illusions blossom like flowers
And in the abyss of despair and fear,
The anguish held me trapped by their chains,
With which they cruelly clung to me
In their realm of darkness and madness.
I, with all my heart, sought a successful way,
a means to survive those unjust torments,
But in my hands, I could not find
a path of salvation and hope.The chasm before me made me glimpse my death.
My future was marked as if my time were numbered,
as if I could not enjoy the small moments
That touched my mind,
because of torment and the certainty of perishing
overwhelmed my heart and clouded my mind.Shadows surrounded my figure as if they could confine me
to a territory that belonged to them,
scrutinising me with their cold and cynical gazes,
Speaking a language I did not understand
and whispering legends whose secrets I would never know.The sound of footsteps following me
brought to mind all those dreadful encounters
whose wickedness tore away a part
of my veil of innocence and integrity.The sound of out-of-tune music boxes and grotesque melodies
created images of folly and paradoxes,
for I found myself in the realm of absurdities and contradictions
where beauty was usurped by horror
and where integrity was usurped by corruption.In this realm of hanging trees and hieratic statues,
fires and flames burned unquenched
like the brilliant stars in the sky
whirling swiftly in the firmament above me,
illuminating the dry, hooked branches
of a twisted tree beneath whose shadow I had lain.Absurdity had become the sovereign of my fate.
I was now at the mercy of capricious winds and rather contradictory events,
Just as my miserable existence was entirely controversial.
Elisabetta -
Gilded Illusions
Gilded illusions visited my dreams
In the eternal night that enveloped me like a diaphanous veil
I lingered far from every mortal sight
In my dwelling made of stars and dreamsThe moon was bleeding silver onto withered blossoms
And I was a phantom wandering through chambers carved from bone
Among candles that wept in crystal flocks
While silence deepened in this dark dungeon of memoriesEerie whispers of the dead rose from broken mirrors
From each cracked and gloomy surface emerged a spirit of the past
Their hearts were cold and hollow for their ancient dismay
And their anguish echoed until the stars of the night firmamentWhenever I aimed to reach for the stars
They disappeared into the emptiness
Leaving me alone in my despair and decay
While the striking of time split the silence like a bladeNo hesitation could help me to reacquire my wisdom
I knew that I had lost my freedom to embrace a life of madness and turmoil
Nothing could have altered this realm of death and decadence
Every divine bliss was destroyed by my fateI belonged to the realm of dust and decay
I was reduced to following the darkness
The more I wept, the tighter drew the chains of my bondage
All my gilded illusions faded away in the voidSurrounded by the hollowness of dilapidated sarcophagi
I heard lullabies of sorrow that hovered like ghouls
Shadows long departed from the realm of life
They waited to converge on the abyss of the underworldMy chains transformed into silver and gold serpents
They became my guardians in this surreal world ruled by illusion and deception
Crowded by hissing ghosts and perpetual twilight
And in this sublime dejection, I found my refuge.
Elisabetta -
Impaled By My Own Grief
Impaled by my own grief
Like a butterfly pinned to a wall
I was standing on the cold soil soaked by my own blood
Among withered flowers infused with the scent of death
Embracing my misery as it was a bliss for my weak heartSlowly unveiling the image behind the shadows hovering high
I discovered the reflection of my true self in their shrouds
I cried out loud, running out of tears of despair
Dressed in the sparkling veil that the luminaries made for me
And wearing a crown made of thorns and rosesAll the most terrible memories introduced themselves to me
They appeared like dreadful ghouls and wraiths
Stabbing me with their sharp daggers
Reducing me to a relic
In the presence of crows and dead treesI was an empty shell without reflection or shadow
Whenever I was wondering, it seemed I didn’t leave any trace
But only blood and thorns, a representation of my miserable existence
What I was I knew not
I became an enigma to myselfI collapsed like a wax sculpture
As I was an extinguished flame
With a body stitched by bandages and shattered dreams
Each thread was a reminder of the pangs carved all over my body
And my heart was a crushed crystalThe gleaming moonlight created an aura made of silver
Spectres were floating over me
While I was waiting for the stars to guide me
But no sign was there for me
Only the deepest darkness and squalid solitudeThe cruel fate had decreed my end with the worst despair of my soul
All my cries were dispersed by the cold wind of a winter night
Nothing more was there for me
I had lost everything dear to me
And a storm wrapped me in its deadly embraceImpaled by my own grief
I was the embodiment of my own tragedy.
Elisabetta -
Locked Up In My Fantasies
Locked up in my fantasies
Aware of my unawareness
Softly indulging in my pleasant decay
Falling into the trap of loneliness
In an existence deprived of love and delight
My desires and fantasies became the only salvationI knew not how long I’d been locked up in my realm
Lovely dreams visited my feeble slumber
On the silent nights, protected by the shadows of ghosts
Waiting for some fallen luminary to glimmer sparkles toward me
I lingered through eternity
In the darkness of my mindConfused and dismayed I wandered in my loneliness
Starving delight and merriment
As I was doomed to a cruel and infamous fate
Nothing I could have accomplished to change the course of occurrences
I was chained to a sinking boat
While hearing the screams of spirits haunting meUntil my very last day of existence
The infamous tyranny to which I had been enslaved, had disposed of my life
My heart was crumbled to dust of decay
My body was the representation of dread and abuse
Time was not anymore the master of my life
As I became part of the realm of the deadThe sun no longer shone upon me
Instead, the tempestuous clouds obscured all the stars
Leaving me sightless for the deep obscurity of the night
I was not anymore aware of my lugubre surroundings
Trapped within my own nightmares
Disregarded by the world outsideI floated into an endless silence
Each gust was a sigh fading in the void
I sought fragments of my sparkling and fleeting dreams
Where once there was love, now only shadows had remained
My mind had become a labyrinth of dead fantasies
I stumbled through the graveyard of shadowsChasing glimmers of elation I could never grasp
As each vision slipped away like grains of sand
The cold embrace of solitude came to be my only companion
While I longed for the glimmer of a flame that would never ignite
The wicked claws of my destiny held me captive
Tugging at the fabric of my fragile hopeI still lingered in the darkest of prisons
Where even the faintest flicker of rebellion was obliterated
In the end, I was nothing but a fading star
Falling from the sky of my own illusions
To be swallowed entirely by the noiseless abyss of darkness
I was locked up in my fantasies, made of void and oblivion
Where my dreams dissolved into nothingness.
Elisabetta -
A Doomed Paradox
A doomed paradox was my trap
The more I escaped the tighter I was bound
Each step forward pulled me back
I tried to chase the wind but it eluded me
Each decision became a chain wound tighter around me
To escape meant to be trapped
For each door opened, another one was shut behind meMy liberty was slowly being killed by my fate
The harder I fought against my destiny the worse it approached it
To unlock the chains I had to stay chained
I strived to reach for freedom, but it closed in as poisonous ivy wrapped around me
I attempted to defy the tide, but each wave pushed me closer to the abyss
I struggled against the void, but each part of me was swallowed by the silence of the vaultThe shadows crept closer to me with their sharp claws around me
Their gloomy chill tightened around me like a funerary veil
They led me deeper into a labyrinth of forsaken spirits
My heart thudded in a deadly cadence as if its hollow pulse belonged to the underworld
The cruel embrace of despair of the dead wraiths was pulling me underground
I lost my hopes in reaching for the stars that faded away like faraway candles in a storm
I had become a prisoner of the eternal night, chained by the very darkness I sought to escapeThere was no beginning or end in this ill-fated paradox
This doomed paradox became my eternal dungeon
My refuge had become my prison never to be left
I lost my wisdom to merit my madness as a prize
Time left me and every hope of mine was reduced to dust
I was becoming decadent and dead like a withered flower left to dissolve
And all I could see was an endless nothingness surrounded by a deafening silence.
Elisabetta -
In My Fainted Dreams
In my fainted dreams made of smoke and spells, I saw my image reflected in the mirror of death. It seemed as if I were a dead shadow made of illusions. My slumber bound me to chains of darkness, and I couldn’t escape from my dungeon of despair.
In my non-existence, the quietness numbed me with a spell of sorrow. I was born to die alone, in scorn and desolation. My residence was made of teardrops and blood. I wished I could have kept my dreams in my treasure chest, but every time I tried, they would vanish.
Hence, I began to pretend that I didn’t need to desire or dream. I could have achieved everything I wanted if only my fate could allow me to do it. Nevertheless, solace and bliss were forbidden castles to my decrepit presence, and I could only find myself in an endless requiem.
Lies were birds of freedom for my heart, and I slumbered as a way of searching for myself. Indeed, I received an invitation from the realm of nothingness, under whose influence my main achievement was only destruction and decay. I was becoming a candle castle collapsing under the tension of an impetuous and merciless wind.
My past memories were little daggers puncturing my heart incessantly without any compassion. Maybe it was all an endless nightmare conspiring against me but the vivid remembrances were slowly annihilating me each instant of my non-life.
In my fainted dreams, I lived in grief surrounded by the shadows of my past self. I was not afraid to suffer and mourn days and nights. Time didn’t matter anymore because there was no metamorphosis in me. I perpetually wept like a statue in a cemetery.
Death and nightmares were all that remained as gifts of the underworld. I surrendered to a quiet acceptance of my irreversible demise. I ceased to dream, embracing my everlasting lamentation. I was fading like incense through a sinister wind.
Elisabetta -
Among Shadows And Monsters
Among shadows and monsters, I was left to hover
Merciless was the despair inside my broken heart, since misery ruled my life, condemning me to wander endlessly. I was left to merciless ghouls haunting me like wicked demons; all of them reminded me of the past I’ve forever tried to flee.Time twisted around me like a serpent, devouring every trace of the glow of a dream, while I wandered among whispers and sighs of all those aborted dreams of mine that I couldn’t save anymore. It felt as though I were seeing my decay with my eyes and I couldn’t find any redemption or rescue from my fate.
I was adrift in a sinking boat during a winter night storm, all alone facing death. Nobody would ever give attention to my defeat but only me. In the quiet void, my voice was lost like a resentful wind howling without being heard. And in that very moment, I realised and accepted my loneliness and my doomed fate.
My solitude and misery became my companions while an infernal stupor obsessed my mind, leading me to folly through its betrayal. I sat on my throne of darkness and became queen of the kingdom of shadows and black roses. I was no longer afraid of ghouls and monsters because I had come to be a creature of the night.
In the abyss of anguish, I ruled over my fears and obsessions. My madness became my loyal reflection. All my fragilities and insecurities morphed into mirrors, thorns and candlesticks. Although I was among shadows and monsters, my fears no longer possessed me; instead, they carved arcane signs on my skin from which I bled.
I discovered delight in my pains and built my castle from disdain. In magnificence and death, I married oblivion and I erased my name from the book of living souls. The stillness of eternity waited for me and I vanished into the aether. I was in the shadows and in the wind, in clouds and stars. I was an ephemeral gloom and a fleeting shadow, a transfiguration.
Elisabetta -
Trapped By My Dreams
Trapped by my dreams, I was living exclusively in my eternal slumber
From which I could not be awakened anymore
Enchanting siren melodies and terrifying cries bewitched my heart
The perpetual candles burning close to my bedside had the scent of deceptionI was no longer frightened by life and society
I felt like the most free and ethereal creature in the universe
And I ventured to remote islands of phantasmagoria
Thunders of insanity crashed through my heartIt seemed that everything was shaking, and a roar erupted
A fierce and wild cry shattered the stillness of my fantasy
The sky split open with flashes of burning glare
As if the universe itself was coercing me to succumb to its chaotic willThe destruction began its monumental obliteration of all my desires
I could not cry or scream, for I had become silent
I was like a hollow vessel lost in its fate while caught in a storm’s violent embrace
My heart, which once burned with ardent passion, was now a feeble flame twinkling like a dying blazeI found myself wandering in the graveyard of my dreams
My heart was bleeding for all the anguish and grief that filled it
I got lost among the fragments of my shattered illusions
While hovering through the ruins of my beliefs and lovesI remained besieged by the ghosts of my fears in the company of bleeding roses
I had lost all my beloved treasures, and all that remained to me was just dust of decay
Condemned to be devoured by the infinite nothingness
I could not see any of my hallucinationsI could not hear any of the enchanting whispers that the wind used to bring to me as a messenger
Forced to be enslaved to death and obliteration
I was no longer trapped by my dreams
And I dwelled in an unending state of sorrow.
Elisabetta