Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: fear

  • A Life Made Of Thorns

    A Life Made Of Thorns

    A life made of thorns and wounds and from whom I could ever be the same
    Sometimes things seem a happy game
    Where there is so little to learn
    My heart will be a dream of gold and pearls
    Not having any idea of what it is worth to keep
    In the deception that will always be better at dusk
    From my heart and mind
    As I seek to be pure and untamed
    Always striving to endure the pains

    A life made of thorns
    In this universe, I see only nothing but evil lies
    No longer are you in my heart in any form
    Desires and love
    Unveested and possessed
    And I am filled with a bitter grudge
    Wearing a new fire dress
    The flowers are still there in the garden
    Pretending that the delusions never arrived
    All the past thoughts fled too quickly

    A life made of thorns and gold
    When everything is lost till a dream comes
    In an eternal journey where I was left to survive
    My mind is concealed to the sun growing old
    Every regret has age and shines just like light
    Finding every single glow in my mind and soul
    It looks like everything is secret in my fate
    I can feel the peace of mind and stillness
    There is no fear when there is no hope to acquire
    The magic of exquisite and petrified words is bound to my soul

    A life made of thorns and stones
    The stars linger over flares and bursts
    In the dungeon where I reside, I can hold the sight of my soul
    No longer bound to any mediocre clasp
    Passions are so brief and shallow
    A sheer memory seized my heart
    A feeling of pure desire and bliss melts on my lips
    Nothing but loyal dread brings dreams into my universe
    Sore reflections and unsteadiness of life
    Love kept me blind and meek until I undisclosed a new belief.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Land Of Dreams

    The Land Of Dreams

    The land of dreams has no soul
    I am a dream maker
    Not human anymore
    But I live in my truth
    It is a paradise which has always been created
    Never well known so much
    My past was just a lie
    So many times and ways I lived
    Always seeking a place of happiness
    When I find out a world
    I am always striving to live in perfect stillness

    The land of dreams was not filled with darkness
    It is the world beyond and everywhere
    Where nothing is lost in memory
    And the ocean runs over where only truth can be found
    So many secrets which cannot be seen
    In existence, everything is lost in sight
    With the rain to stay like my own birth
    Looking for the beauty in my heart
    Life is not always fabulous and simple
    A unique gift and a loving treasure
    My desires and shadows endure
    With a glance at the dark

    The land of dreams has no name
    Under the misty sky, the wind blows through darkness and fear
    And my dreams never shall now be seen
    Sometimes there is a meaning in the senses
    There is a life beyond destiny
    The stars are out of the shade
    The remembrance I’ve met in the far past
    Too much has been forgotten forever
    I was not somewhere, and the future appeared somehow
    Wisdom is often seen by time or sight
    The world of misery is in its own value
    The soul needs no choice

    The land of dreams is an echo I saw
    And it is already gone and lost
    Empty darkness, I shall become
    Alone in the most sincere silence
    Only the shadows are clear and warm
    So far, long ago, my longings have ceased
    Releasing the past and rejoicing in the storm’s dusk
    Tears without pain
    In happiness and hope
    I rely on my excellent intuitions
    No longer a bliss among my delusions
    Though my soul is uncorrupted in every way.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Waiting no longer
    Life seems like a dream that will break
    Many things belonging to love always end
    From a life filled with sorrow and bliss
    Time ended everything
    And happiness faded away
    How could I feel hope and fear without a soul
    Being my heart a fragment of despair and desire
    Coping the frightful pain stabbing my soul
    When I stare at my reflection on a white wall
    As it would be another me waiting for my end

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The silent darkness is whispering secrets
    I’m mute because that is how I live
    Invisible and speechless
    As a constant ghost would check my state of mind
    I might be fearful, but I am not
    My soul has never seen the present
    Being bonded between the past and the future
    Its arrival and its flow
    It shall lead to new things to come
    Hope begins once again
    Until it is crushed into pieces

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The truth does not halt in the fall
    I live with wonder
    When there is no need to hide
    Love might give eternal light
    Existence becomes free of grace
    And everything becomes blind
    My thoughts glow above my eyes
    In a perpetual chase for limited emotions
    My mind’s endless glare overcomes me again
    In every moment, a life is born
    A beauty that will be

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Losing parts of myself
    The hushed tears of misery
    So brave and free is my mind
    I dare not make a new choice
    For without any joy
    Life is powerful as truth
    When a heart is full of sorrow
    And sorrow goes with it
    Then the soul can be sensed within it
    A sorrowful bliss and unexpected transformation flow down through the darkness
    In dreams, I never die for
    Until I stand there all alone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Gloomy Sorrow

    A Gloomy Sorrow

    A gloomy sorrow
    A gentle grief
    In a world made of pride
    The soul will never win
    It seems as if no one can be able to love and dreams
    Patience and happiness are rare gifts to be obtained with pain
    When only desire can find peace
    I used to learn my true emotions of mine
    The wisdom becomes a bliss
    Truth is hidden everywhere
    Everything on earth comes to an end

    A gloomy sorrow sweet for all the hours
    At the sound of the darkness spinning around the night
    Few faint glistening hopes find their way through the abyss of dismay
    It would be a joy to love my heart
    But sorrow comes from a long time ago
    And yet, in life, a great beauty shines
    Time does arrive travelling with no destination
    My soul had forgotten words
    A little fear becomes mine
    And my soul is full of pain

    A gloomy sorrow of loneliness
    The soul is smiling during the day
    In vain, a million feelings were meant to die
    Whole memories belonging to me
    Happiness is born to die
    Tomorrow a great fate could last forever
    A treasure to be kept
    While the future loses its feelings
    Bliss would hide in a place beyond eternity
    Being confined and helpless
    Sobbing in a restless night

    A gloomy sorrow
    When the memories were never the same
    A dull despair and delight
    Life and death
    Far away from my mind and thoughts
    The light and shades of my soul shine
    When the eyes are dark and cold
    The flames of hope grow fast
    Every time I write, a little dream manifests
    Like a rose into the breath of the universe
    When they call my name, I strive

    A gloomy sorrow in the night
    Longing to be seen
    But a heavy cold sadness falls down
    A white sun of light is glowing
    And every ray of sunshine has blossomed from every side
    Just as soon as the clouds fly through the air
    The beauty of joy crosses the whole world
    Heavy thoughts have drifted into my soul
    The remembrance of a distant way I have travelled
    I feel a longing to comfort my thoughts
    I shall be loved by my anguish and wait no longer.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Apathetic Wonder

    An Apathetic Wonder

    An apathetic wonder at the sight of all the future catastrophes
    A meaningful fear traps me and pulls me into the abyss of obscurity
    Ghosts and spectres are my eager companions
    Being in many places in one day
    Travelling time quickly in a preternatural form
    A glare of light and fire pretended to scare me
    Everything was a dream of a vision
    And suddenly, the present night appears
    No more complaints when the world would outcast

    An apathetic wonder like a golden morning candle
    For another cold scent of winter
    When the rain does not stop pouring on the streets
    In the heat
    And my blood is frozen like the winter snow
    The beautiful colours of stars become flowers
    All of a sudden
    A mystery which never existed has been the truth on earth
    Trying to forget distasteful memories

    An apathetic wonder of the sky
    Every time a desire becomes complex
    Every moment of happiness and sorrow
    It cannot happen again
    An opportunity for the mind
    Incurable wounds of the soul
    Nothing but excellent astonishments
    The water is everywhere, coming from the blue
    Creating a vast ocean of tears and sighs

    An apathetic wonder
    Being busy living within my soul
    Those ancient memories
    From every place of my mind
    Passing along with my own dreams
    The sky is pure and dark
    A lovely gloomy air
    Where I cannot perceive any colour or sound
    During an infinite journey in my subconscious

    An apathetic wonder in a light storm
    Winged like nothing else
    My words fly away
    Toward a remote invisible place
    Where every kind of bliss and pain was dwelling
    Once the sun was gone
    As a gilded sign of merriment
    And red roses were made of silver and gold
    My heart could not beat anymore in delight
    Because my dreams were open doors.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A terrific and beautiful tempest
    Made of anguishes and broken dreams
    Once they belonged to the realm of quests and stupor
    But interrupted in the very moment of truth and beauty
    To become fragments of a whole nightmare
    In the abyss of ineptitude and betrayal
    I might question the night about my future
    It may come in fanfare sounds and sparkling obscurity
    Obscenity and banality don’t belong to my realm
    Maybe it is the case I change my windows in front of a sarcastic landscape
    Who could enquire what is real?
    So many fragile lies built under the shape of a high castle
    Not visible anymore
    Relying on the benefit of the doubt too many times
    I decided to move to another world
    Obsession for knowledge
    And the dominion of words and imaginary scenarios
    The obliteration of ignominious dreams in the darkness
    Dreaming is like breathing

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A misty veil of rain and storm
    A sublime ecstasy of a soothing slumber
    In an obscure realm of illusions and dismay
    Amidst a very midst of a dim sea
    The sun seems to glare through the gloomy clouds
    Cold darkness in existence with no thoughts or wisdom
    It abides only bliss beyond reality
    In a universe that is getting apart
    Whenever a dream reveals its mysteries from nothing
    The eternity of time is too far from the truth
    And brightness abides among the grey stars in the skies
    Greeting every emotion in vain
    My only place to be is with sorrows
    Which are no longer lies
    My heart became sweet as the snow
    My dark path conducts me to the loneliest room
    With gentle solitude and no comfort or rest
    Once the mystery of each star is disclosed
    A slight wind of fear will blow inside my soul.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Timeless Emptiness

    A Timeless Emptiness

    A timeless emptiness
    Out of vision and fear
    Afternoon and Midnight
    The sun hides in the woods
    Sitting still while listening to the wind through the leaves
    Like a surreal vision
    Words inside of me shine gloomy
    In the unseen world of emotions
    Feelings have a hidden beauty
    Secret and powerful
    Like an icy sea of trees
    A breath thriving into a silent voice
    A perfect sight of unhappiness

    A timeless emptiness
    A sense of being alive and unified
    Like beautiful words scattered in the void
    I’m a part of my own universe
    And I love to make the world feel everything I might grant
    So many times with no fear
    Very dearly with love for creation
    Whenever light grab the truth
    Long moments ago
    With joy and hope
    And a bliss without any delight in mind
    Never realised until love does, it feel like flowers

    A timeless emptiness
    May surely live, that ever was found
    In reality
    Dreams become devoted vows
    Which are made of stained beliefs
    In a heart filled with everything that could become alive and dead
    Remembering all the time to believe and untrust
    An eternity that will cease
    Whenever life is meant to end
    And death becomes true
    Like a nightmare finalised
    Though no reality should be conceded
    In an artwork built from farse and betrayal

    A timeless emptiness
    Like an unquenchable fire
    Burning the soul until its extinction
    In the unawareness of a feeling of unconsciousness
    Understanding that nothing will end but will only transform
    Something too big to be caught
    My thoughts build my life
    With no beginnings and no ends
    My heart is at the edges of the intelligible
    Where there is no shadow and shine
    A reflection of dark feelings and empty senses
    Building a ghost island within the soul
    And I lie senseless in unwavering dismay.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A frail and lonely dismay of the night
    Tinged like a tiny soul of light
    At the edges of the universe
    Waiting for its memorable sight
    Standing alone in a silent deadlock
    The heart that seems so close to being so sad
    There is no way more and our lives and joy
    Never begin what is about never to die
    Love is created as an eternal wisdom

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In silent long-moving years
    Made of pains that cannot be revealed
    Would it be a dream to lose?
    A utopia that the world has never known
    I had looked back in stillness
    The quietness of some tree
    Where all the dreams abound
    And idyll will never cease to succumb
    To the grief and solitude

    A frail and lonely dismay
    I’ll never know who I was
    But only the sadness I feel
    And where are my vestiges
    To be hurled away in the cold blast
    Again and nevermore
    A sudden fear reappears
    Bleeding tears are far as memories
    And now I do not need anymore
    No doubt, once happiness got lost.

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In life, a defeat will never be new
    But I still live embracing habits
    Until love might give strength to convey
    Life comes today in time
    And everything must fade away
    Sweet songs of hope and dismay
    Everything pierces a feeble heart
    Being another daytime like another year

    A frail and lonely dismay
    It should be a phantom
    Descending in the fleeting night
    Twixt its own soul’s delight
    It might drive me too fierce
    As well as it may appear
    Afar
    Like in a vision
    Before it fades again
    Whenever life is at peace with the truth
    So, no longer there would be an end
    As long as every dash would be gone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Time Has Slipped Away

    Time Has Slipped Away

    Time has slipped away as fast as pouring rain
    In the dark and sunny sky
    Emptiness and fragility are made in a storm
    There’s sunshine on every side of your nest
    The wind sings through the grass with warm trees
    In snowstorms in winter, I have thrived
    Time has slipped away as fast as pouring rain
    As the world should have a chance to exist
    The sun is bright, always more everywhere
    Rocks of storms hit the morning as it changes
    Not so far
    Life was created before memories
    A loss shall come into every dream
    And nevermore were the birds singing
    In a world that might be born again today
    Time has slipped away as fast as pouring rain
    Raindrops were similar to a breeze sweeping the leaves of summer
    And when autumn will change its essence
    The daytime might not be warm forever
    It shall dwell, but not in this fate
    That does only come to see night again
    in a lost day when memories were born
    Memories become shattered
    whenever tears could have been spent on death,
    Not enough before all happiness was lost
    Even if I never had back my sorrows again
    Time has slipped away as fast as pouring rain
    Like an early spring day of the year
    The time had disappeared
    Whenever the wind and the clouds move toward my eyes
    Every pointless fear is so far beyond me
    My dreams can stand glum but cannot be seen or remembered again
    Before I aim to be alive
    Timeless visions are made of unperceivable illusions and phantasmagorias
    Time has slipped away as fast as pouring rain
    And remarkable beauty resides in true peace
    Whilst a reckless creation is an obscure snare
    Trying to climb on illusory and fierce mirrors
    Which are sliding doors to deceitful opportunities.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Waves Of Darkness

    The Waves Of Darkness

    The waves of darkness
    Crash against the shore
    As I stand here all alone
    The wind whispers in my ears
    And I feel like I’m forsaken
    The sea is vast and wide
    But I’m not frightened to dive
    Into the depths of my soul
    Where the mysteries unfold
    The sun sets on the horizon
    And the stars fail to light up the sky
    Which is an abyss of decrepit wrecks
    Made of anguish and oblivion
    I have never been created as a dream
    The silence has no fear
    In the sky above, all the worlds spin round
    The waves of darkness flow
    To the land where there’s no light
    An empty place to reach.
    This is how one’s dreams begin.
    With hope and delight
    The waves of darkness
    Are silent;
    And I see
    That world has no end.
    I know
    My mind is the sky
    But
    Its essence is a river.
    Nothing ever is the same
    Darkness is like a fire
    The night has gone with my dreams
    And the light runs out,
    Like thunder lingering on the shore
    And darkness is everywhere
    This dream of mine is quiescent.
    Life is considerably hasty and bitter
    There is nothing left to last,
    All those unknown memories have flown for this day
    Like a flood that overwhelms and destroys the universe.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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