A burning grief shone in my heart like an everlasting flame in the middle of the night, when no creature of the magic oak forest dared to sing. An impetuous waft surrounded me like an ineluctable fate plotting behind my back, as the darkness would make me fade from sight. While an eagle-owl was my oracle whispering enigmas and revealing riddles, a tempest cast its sinister gaze on me as an ominous presage. The cloudy sky embellished the night with gloomy hues and wrapped the stars, too fearful to be seen, whilst the moon concealed its countenance behind an immense thunderhead. No impetuous trepidation could have been placed in my heart, at that very moment when I realised that the ghosts of my archaic past had left me in agony for so long a time. Nothing more could have been a reason for delight, once I discovered the pure emptiness of my existence made of dust and decay. Broken vows and erratic dreams departed from my modest dwelling, leaving a trail of withered flowers and oak scent. The most intrinsic essence of my existence was soaked with black tea, mint and vanilla. A burning grief kept its everlasting flame alive like a torch blazing in my heart, never leaving me for eternity. The chimes of an antique longcase clock resounded all over the oak forest, evoking wonder and apprehension. I felt a tremendous distress causing my agony to persist in its overwhelming purpose, and I believed that nothing anymore was really significant enough to influence my peculiar fate now that the darkness had welcomed every dream of mine. Alas, that burning grief not only had conquered my heart but it didn’t hesitate to defeat all my defences. Once again I could be allowed to win my reward for such a monumental sorrow since nightmares enclosed me even more than before.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: gothic aesthetic
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A Burning Grief
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Phantoms And Dreams
Phantoms and dreams were my devoted cronies wherever I was wandering in the darkest hours of the night feeling overwhelmed by ignominious remembrances collected in the world ruled by the evilness of the mortals. For so long, I tried to erase the images my mind pictured for epochs, never doubting my wisdom, even as I stood at the edge of the abyss of oblivion, where everything was lost and vanished into emptiness. Phantoms and dreams followed my perilous path made of traps and betrayals in the disguise of uncontroversial circumstances. No stars could be glimpsed from my point of observation, hence I wandered in dizziness and chaos, since my loyal phantom friends were not capable of signalling me the proper direction. A timeless silence fell all over the gloomy forest like a noiseless symphony that induced me to fall into a deep slumber. A sequence of instants passed swiftly, like a sudden storm, and I found myself nowhere. The more I was aimlessly wandering, the more my mind was filled with nothingness and chaos. It seemed to me to have been losing all that I owned, all at once, and I felt like an empty seashell filled with seawater and sand. All of a sudden I felt seaweed wrapping me up like a marine creature ready to explore the deepest abysses of the oceanic realm. Loneliness no longer took advantage of me because my phantoms and dreams had metamorphosed into magnificent and phantasmagoric chimaeras. At last, all the pangs and anguishes had left my heart, and nothing could have perturbed that state of peaceful bliss, which I discovered in my delightful nightmares. Phantoms and dreams had been replaced by mysterious ghouls and eerie nightmares. Nothing could have awakened me; not even the silver moonlight sparkling over me; not even the glimmering starlight shining in the night sky; for I had become the infinite darkness; eternally.
Elisabetta Esther -
Beneath The Darkness
Beneath the darkness, I built my imaginary castle, hovering like a phantom over me, filled with bitter memories and wicked resentment. The night appeared to me like an immense creature, ready to swallow all my blissful hopes, leaving me only with its heartbreaking gifts as a substitute for my dreams. Melancholic longings wound around me like ivy tendrils, always letting me perceive the liberty that I lost long ago. A sudden thunder would have made me shudder, but it wasn’t the case, since I had lost every spark of fear in that realm of darkness and nightmares. The stars were staring at me like curious creatures ready to judge every single emotion of mine.
The solitude tried to comfort me in vain, for I were not accustomed to those gloomy clouds on the horizon, ready to rapture my hopes of deliverance. My beloved raven handed me the chalice of oblivion, nevertheless, I embraced my desire to decrypt ancient manuscripts, whose dust adorned them with peculiar hues. The night attired me with an obsidian cloak embellished with gold and stardust. I could see the moonlight sink deep into the fierce, tumultuous river, reflecting my thoughts like a mirror of truth. Could I make acquaintance with my fears and anguishes swarming around me like haunting ghosts? I knew not what could possibly be in my unpredictable fate’s designs.
Beneath the darkness, shadows emerged like quirky spectres willing to catch every glimpse of my heart, which kept its everlasting flame alive, even though it was destined to fade away. Unaware of my destiny, I proceeded uncautiously in my gloomy descent filled with dark shadows and unbearable secrets. Silently and slowly, the night revealed me to endure my painful dismay like an ethereal flower floating in the aether. Meanwhile, the moon greeted me behind a thick blanket of dark clouds, and I lost all my hesitation to allow entrance to the most devoted nightmares of my lonely nights in the abyss of oblivion and darkness.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Restlessness Of The Night
The restlessness of the night never left my quiet chamber adorned with ancient mirrors and candles extinguished by the freezing wind of the darkness.
The silence helped my nightmares discourage my heart from holding dear its long-coveted desires.
Henceforth, I tried not to panic when I realised that I couldn’t find any image of myself in the mirrors of my antique manor.
Not even a portrait was there and each time I tried to perceive my countenance, all I could discover was a box full of sand and decay.
The hours sang an elegy for the passing of the night that was infinite and determined to rule hegemony in the realm of my bizarre fantasies and odd revelations.
Magic dreams were only faraway illusions that had been bestowed to me once again only to be left in the abyss of despair with nothing but my vest full of sand and decay.The restlessness of the night offered me the goblet of eternal torment, alluring me with fairy tales and foolish legends.
I wished to become an invisible creature of the gloomy night, however, I could do nothing but observe my name inscribed on every wall and book that I had encountered.
No importance was given to my will since the day I was born beneath the hollow trees of dismay.
The stars manifested their disregard for me, leaving me in my senseless loneliness, at the mercy of the raging storms that would have swept me away.
In vain, I claimed my liberty from that misfortune, but they came to claim me and all that once was mine, the ghouls from the archaic world of my past misadventures.
Perhaps I could have forgotten the sensations of delight and gentle euphoria.
The restlessness of the night had become the portal to my agony and everlasting grief, which never abandoned my aching heart.
Elisabetta Esther -
In The Abyss Of Nightmares
In the abyss of nightmares, I belonged for epochs, which lasted as long as the obliteration of my dreams became predominant. Perpetually, the invasive obsession with liberty and chance came to me oddly; nevertheless, I was not able to grasp the flower of resilience, which was far too unreachable. Soon I realised that the nights had overtaken the days and the sun was forever gone.
The echo of my lost dreams reverberated like a scream from the infernal abode of the forsaken ghouls, whose souls were being kept in a jar of gold and crystals. I didn’t ask for that lugubre situation, as my heartbeat was as slow as the tolling of an antique clock, accustomed to no longer marking time—not even for the mirrors. A downpour supervened, interrupting that solemn silence.
In the abyss of nightmares, I discovered that losing all my hopes and dreams had become my delight and bliss as if I enjoyed the misery I was destined to endure since the beginning of eras. As long as darkness was eternity, no feeling of compassion or consolation could soothe my heart, which had become a stone, for the nightmares were caring for my soul.
Each phantom I encountered showed me a book made of tears and memories, then flashed a sneer at me, as if satisfied to accompany me to the valley of despair and decay. And there I lay on the gelid soil that absorbed every teardrop of mine, giving life to flowers whose petals were made of sharp rocks. No reprieve was hidden behind the portals of that realm under the sovereignty of shadows and darkness.
I didn’t even need to escape from that place anymore because it had become the most intrinsic part of myself as if I were a creature of the abyss of nightmares and perpetual storms since eternity. And even the sun had melted with the moon transforming into a black star likely a massive sphere of obsidian irradiating me with its powerful gloominess as if to welcome me.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Sun Of Dismay
The Sun of dismay irradiated its glowing rays of light all over me, as if I were not aware enough of my cruel fate. I wish I could have escaped from that hostile destiny, but I was bound to it by an eternal oath.
My sighs and tears could not arrest that tragic scenario poised to, all of a sudden, dismiss the totality of my most cherished dreams. Not even the nighttime legends and fairy tales could divert my attention.
The nocturnal echoes of the barn owls and nightjars interrupted my silent contemplation, every time I stared at the moon from my balcony adorned with ancient finds and magical manuscripts.
Beyond the horizon, I was not able to catch sight of anything else but my dreadful fears that filled my heart with a bitter anguish. And suddenly a freezing wind rose, freezing all the mirrors of my antique mansion.
The Sun of dismay didn’t appear anymore since the day I had decided to fall in love with my regrets and solitude. Nevertheless, far away, cast away from my memories, an obsolete shadow kept haunting the peaceful realm of my thoughts.
No candle dared to illuminate the darkness that dwelled in my realm of nightmares and oddities. My reflection in broken mirrors made me perceive that I was an evanescent hologram of my own imagination.
Was all that real or just a dream? A rocambolesque confusion suddenly struck me like a purely casual event. Surreal was everything I ever dreamed of and mostly the suspense of my bizarre fate.
My invisibility was my strength and the loneliness swarming around me tempted me to surrender to every hesitation of mine, even when the Sun of dismay persisted in materialising like an unexpected ghost.
All my wishes vanished and they were replaced by restlessness in the shape of ghouls wandering in the endless labyrinth of my chance, where destiny and randomness became indistinguishable.
Elisabetta Esther -
Teardrops In The Desert
Teardrops in the desert of chaos and vulnerability were striking my face while the imperious sun was staring at me with its searing light, on the verge of overwhelming me.
The long summer nights allowed me to indulge in extravagant fantasies since I had always been fond of dreams and rainbows. But, nevertheless, I couldn’t help myself from finding the right direction.
The sun gave its place to the luminaries of the firmament, and I could perceive the feeble light of a lantern far away floating in the enchanted forest of my impossible dreams.
I became a shadow of the night and I could see the stars in their eyes, as if I were their celestial companion in the lonely nightfall. Teardrops in the desert metamorphosed into sighs and whispers in the deepest night of my life.
Without hesitation, I was tempted to embrace the chaos which was embedded in my heart, now that every delusional longing had departed from my dwelling. Hence, I strove for a stance on my fate, but I couldn’t see anything in my crystal ball.
Even the tarot cards refused to spell the truth, although I had interrogated them so many times as the number of stars. My hymns had been cast away from me as punishment for my quest to obtain that certitude that I never acquired.
Teardrops in the desert beneath my beloved moon flew like impetuous rivers at the sight of the twilight. Might I have been a brilliant star or a shy planet, I knew not. All I knew inside my heart was the sensation of a precarious destiny.
As invisible as I became and as untouchable as I pretended to be, I melted in the forest of thoughts and fears as an untamed creature of my own realm made of fantastic dreams and fancy illusions.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Portal Of Oblivion
The portal of oblivion stood in the garden of secret desires
Castaway as I was in the dizziness of the loss and grief
I strove to grab some earth mixed with mud to feel the emptiness of that desolate place
Where only ghosts dared to inhabit during the desolate nights of a summer
Silence was disrupted by the steady wind, bringing some fresh relief to the tired trees
While the moonlight rays glimmered over the flowerbedsNo surprise could have overcome my quietness
Now that I was embracing my golden seclusion
Outlying the fatuous and polluted world of mortals
Lost in the mangroves of my worries and thoughts
After fear had left its imprints everywhere
Wishing I could leave my past self behind the portal of oblivion once I had traversed it
I felt like no tragedy could ever happen to me
Although I was willing to take the risk
Since I was used to living in the uncertaintyI fell into a deep slumber, and I dreamed gibberish
I felt deep inside that I couldn’t have protected myself from my fate
For everything I was destined to was beyond my imagination
Like a wanderer without a destination, I couldn’t discern where I really wanted to be because I couldn’t know what I was truly feeling inside my heart
It was like I came to be an inanimate statue made of ice and crystalThe more I wanted to know, the more I lost my memories
In the effort to survive all the storms of life and the wicked tragedies
I have transformed into a storm myself
Powerful yet ephemeral like a summer night raindrop
My heart has turned into a crystal gem, and I couldn’t feel any sensation of frostiness or warmth
For I was an evanescent creature of that realm of dreams and coveted chimaeras
Beyond the portal of oblivion.
Elisabetta Esther -
A Storm Of Forsaken Longings
A storm of forsaken longings overwhelmed my humble slumber in a torrid night
I lost myself in the garden of daring dreams
I proceeded to embrace my transformation
I became a creature of the night and the custodian of the most secret enigmas of the stars
So dazzlingly dark the night sky had become
That I forgot every dream of mine
A lullaby enchanted me and I dared not feel any anguish
Unaware of what wisdom could have taught me
While I lived on the scent of the flowers of illusion
Willing to come to be a bloom blushing under the moonlightA storm of forsaken longings appeared in my night dreams
As if I were bound to an endless labyrinth of delusional enthusiasm
Whenever a bitter apprehension emerged like a ghost, it made me feel like a seashell made of sand and wind
Under the influence of all the whims of my unsteady fate
Hence, I felt the urge to embrace my chaos and vulnerability
Although I was fragile like a snowflake
I never ceased to endure the challenges of my destiny
So much I had coveted to take a look at the crystal orb retaining all the riddles of my future
That I wished to be a witch ruling the realms of the sea and skyI had always questioned all the mirrors encountered in my quest to discover my true self
I really yearned to catch a glimpse of my real image
But I have never been allowed to rest my gaze on those silver surfaces
I had become a mystery to myself
I never made an acquaintance with my soul
And my heart could have known more than me what I truthfully was
Even when the ocean breeze had whispered my name, I couldn’t understand what the great mystery of existence was.
I felt infinite and finite at the same time.
An everlasting flame embodied my passions, which not even the most fierce storm could ever extinguish.
No forsaken longings.
Only crimson roses blooming under a starry sky.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Shadows Of Solitude
The shadows of solitude followed me in my endless journey of self-discovery
No storm or fog could distract my search for the mysteries that my fate dared to hide from my gaze
Extravagant fantasies appeared as evanescent chimaeras glowing like stars in the darkness of the night
Ravens and crows gathered around me, whispering arcana secrets to me, as they already possessed the knowledge reserved for immortal spirits
Even the rain and wind didn’t encounter an effortless manner to rule that kingdom
Where inky feathers fell all over me while I saw blank mirrors floating like autumn leaves on a pondThe shadows of solitude guided me in the deepest night in the midst of the misty forest of my dreams
I followed the trail enlightened by scattered candelabras and poetry rhymes
My perseverance was unapologetic and I cared only for my own wonder
Since the day I decided to abandon my bitter memories and leave them in the swamp of my past
The majestic and fierce vault of a Gothic cathedral hid the vast starry sky, inducing me to listen to the sumptuous melody of an ancient organ
I felt dizzy as if under a magic spell that had been cast on me by my most hidden desiresThe dimness of my fears vanished immediately as if they never existed and they couldn’t hurt anymore
So much glistening light I found in the deepest gloominess
Guided by my untamed heart ready to embrace every unreachable mirage
I followed the phantasmic echoes of the nocturnal clouds staring at me in my intricate voyage without a specific destination
Since the day I had willingly lost myself within the mist of my own dreams
I was no longer startled by my limits because I decided to become infinite and potent like a lone glistening luminary
Belonging to eternity
Perfect in my frailties.
Elisabetta Esther