A dismal obscurity silently descended over the nighttime in the garden of secret and forbidden desires. Once again, the storm had fulfilled its promise to erase ancient memories and delusional hopes from the realm of fantasies and chimaeras. The nights followed each other like a sequence of fables without any beginning or end. All the flowers withdrew from the tempest’s thunder, leaving soaked soil filled with decay and fragments of burning flames. The bitterness of the magic potions that I had to swallow in my frantic existence turned my heart into a heavy stone to carry through nights of solitude and restlessness. Flares of anguish burst in the nighttime while the stars watched me closely like a bizarre creature, who was unworthy of inhabiting that enchanted place filled with wild eccentricities. The freezing wind was so fiercely cold and violent that I could not remain standing for even a moment, reminding me of my fragility and transience. The more unbearable truths demanded to be revealed the more I shrank from discovering them in the great mirror of dilemmas. No matter how much I wanted to cast off all those painful and demoralising memories, they appeared as menacing shadows wherever I went. A dismal obscurity had cast a spell all over the night and no portal could have conducted me to other surroundings since my fate had decreed that I could never depart from the realm of ill-omened nightmares and indulgent sufferings. The art of suffering had become my delight during those harrowing nights of burning tears. The stupor had not even allowed me a moment to relinquish my role as a dreamer of lost, fragmented dreams. The eternal darkness could have been magnificent each instant that a dismal obscurity had claimed my heart solely for the mere purpose of making me feel in each part of my body the misery of the loss of all my dreams while the stars and the moon mocked me with their looks of contempt.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: gothic romanticism
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A Dismal Obscurity
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In The Labyrinth Of Sighs
In the labyrinth of sighs, a place suspended in time and unreachable by human beings, mysterious shadows and riddles lay beneath the crystal starlight that shone brightly over the kingdom of heavenly nightmares. Slowly I tried to find an escape but the more I proceeded the more I found myself at the same point at the very beginning. In vain I studied the opportunities to free myself from that labyrinth, nevertheless, it seemed that there was no chance for me to flee. At each moment a sigh revealed to me a part of the secrets that had been concealed by the clouds of dusk, when the moon could have touched the sleek dark blue surface of the ocean. Ominous shadows manifested their presence around me surrounding me with startling emotions making me hesitate to continue my frenetic quest for freedom. Was all that I needed a quest for the very liberty from an extremely extravagant place claiming my heart in a vehement storm of dismay and longing? As long as I was forced to stay in the labyrinth of sighs I could find myself absorbed in my thoughts between sweet and bitter pleasures while the moon on the horizon re-emerged from the brilliant ocean as if it had been born from the deepest depths. I felt the starlight caressing me softly descending all over me like a rain of delicate petals whose exquisite scent was bewitching but at the same time intimidating me. And however cynical and unscrupulous my cruel fate had been, I could not escape that sense of helplessness and exquisite mourning that had taken root in my heart; while ice-cold tears crept down my face, almost as if to remind me how my misery had become as infinite as the number of stars scattered across the firmament of the dark night. The wind softly whispered painful memories to me just as I had resigned myself to the idea of permanently leaving that place—so deeply hated yet equally yearned for—the labyrinth of sighs and forsaken desires.
Elisabetta Esther -
A Dreamy Nighttime
A dreamy nighttime resurfaced in my mind as if I were living in that very moment that didn’t last as long as I wished it would. As usual, my flowing dark gown was agitated by the freezing wind while a large white wolf sat next to a black raven perched on the stone pillar with me. From my high stone balcony, I could gaze at a dragon flying in the distant sky, with an embellished archway overlooking a marvellous landscape of a misty valley, dramatic waterfalls, and a sprawling castle complex connected by stone bridges. That was definitely a dreamy nighttime to remember by the light of a warm candlelight, a glowing lantern, and the unperturbed silver light of the moon. My lovely companions could sense all the bitter grief and electrifying fears hidden in my heart no matter how much I claimed that nothing could disturb me. I often asked them about the meaning of existence and the reason why dreams were dissolved by the cynicism and indifference of humankind. Lost in the labyrinth of my thoughts, I let myself be captivated by the enchantment of that realm of beauty and magic, in the hope that I would distract my heart from the anguish that held it entangled in its thorny tendrils. In truth, I was fleeing from myself and from the darkness of the abyss of nightmares that haunted my fitful slumber. Nonetheless, a dreamy nighttime had the power to transform me into a creature of the silent night, inducing me to live a life of starlight and mysticism. In loneliness, I was no longer, absolutely I felt the protection of the fantastic inhabitants of that kingdom of dreamy nighttime. So bright were the luminaries that I felt finally welcomed and included for the very first time in my peculiar reality filled with oddities and delusions. At last, I was allowed to be made of dreams and nightmares, far away from the conventional impediments of humanity. Far away I fled astray, into the endless darkness, where splendid dreams and lugubrious nightmares merged beneath the silver gaze of the moon.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Spell In The Mirror
The spell in the mirror made me step further back into the dark corners of my dilapidated dwelling, where echoes of my heart’s emptiness reverberated. No matter how much I tried to flee my bitter memories, I could find no refuge in that dwelling that should have protected me; instead, I fled into the unknown of the ancient oak forest—a dark place, yet more reassuring than other places that were too bitter for my heart. The night never left my side as I kept wandering aimlessly without a particular intention or destination. I felt the gelid blizzard surrounding me without hesitation, forcing me to find my haven inside a mysterious cave, where a lantern illuminated my surroundings. Extravagant visions kept me from falling into a deep sleep, like bewitching chimaeras. I could not avoid passing through a magical portal unknown to me and crossing the threshold into a wondrous world that filled me with awe and stupor. It was as if a burning desire overwhelmed my senses and heart, and all my wishes had transformed into magnificent flowers, whose exquisite perfume extended throughout that enchanted realm. The sun appeared in the middle of the night as to greet the stars hiding behind gloomy clouds, and the twilight was altered by the constant sunshine, making the realm glimmer like a treasure chest filled with splendid gems. The spell in the mirror had invited me to a world, which belonged only to me and was invisible to humankind. I was surprised by the peculiar beauty of that realm, hidden behind that magic mirror adorned with enchantments. I suddenly perceived that the surroundings were made of luxury furniture, and I gave a curious glance at a dark ornate desk holding a glass perfume bottle, beautiful roses, the ornate mirror and an armillary sphere, which resembled a model of celestial spheres. A black cat was resting on a stack of books by the window, and gazing out at the skyline, it whispered to me some arcane poetry. Meanwhile, I was admiring a large arched window looking out over a gothic city with spires and towers beneath the gaze of a theatrical sunset and a glowing moon. Certainly, I could not resist looking at some antique books where I did find the story of my life together with all the descriptions of my dreams and my trepidations; just like my predefined fate wanted to let me know that there was no possibility of changing the events that would have happened in the future. My very name was engraved on the richly adorned cover of every volume, which resembled a bewitched grimoire. The feline companion approached me as if I were a dear friend from a past life. An absolute silence descended all over the gloomy gothic chamber and I felt more than ever that I had become just one of the several evanescent chimaeras visiting my own dreams. The spell in the mirror was but a chaotic enigma in the infinite abyss of darkness and dreams.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Shadows Of Melancholy
Shadows of melancholy perpetually hovered over me like branches of a giant oak tree. No doubt I could have been deceived by my own senses when I discovered that my dreams had vanished promptly from my realm of desires and fears. Even anguish didn’t hesitate to manifest its power over my heart, which was grieving heavenly. Oftentimes I questioned the blank mirrors about my burdensome fate, and all that I could obtain as revelation was an enflamed candle, glimmering like a star in the night sky. Exquisite deep red roses and delicate blue butterflies offered me antique manuscripts as a gift of friendship. The truth was concealed among books and flowers, while the moonlight shone brightly, dazzling me unexpectedly. Perpetual twilight settled over this surreal scene: a majestic stone castle stood on a cliff across a calm lake beneath an immense full moon. As usual, I was staring at the magnificent view from my stone windowsill, where I usually passed my nights among stacked antique books and my beloved hourglass. My ornate mirror reflected the beauty of the surroundings, which seemed increasingly surreal to me. No dismay seemed to attend those moments of leisure while shadows of melancholy constantly cast a shadow over my heart. Nevertheless, the longer I gazed at that splendid landscape the more blurred its reflection became in my mirror. It seemed as though beauty was being enchanted by a magical spell, which was dedicated to eliminating every delight. The tranquil waters of the lake silently swallowed the antique fortress and all the marvellous realm. Undoubtedly, the abysses had taken possession of my realm of blissful dreams, leaving me nothing but some petals of withered roses. All my archaic manuscripts and ancient books disappeared from my sight and in their place there was only dust and fragments of dry leaves. I could feel a gelid breeze surrounding me like an invisible veil and whispering rhymes about the utmost despair, while my wisdom couldn’t perceive any paradox as I became increasingly dazed beneath the shadows of melancholy.
Elisabetta Esther -
A Storm Of Forsaken Longings
A storm of forsaken longings overwhelmed my humble slumber in a torrid night
I lost myself in the garden of daring dreams
I proceeded to embrace my transformation
I became a creature of the night and the custodian of the most secret enigmas of the stars
So dazzlingly dark the night sky had become
That I forgot every dream of mine
A lullaby enchanted me and I dared not feel any anguish
Unaware of what wisdom could have taught me
While I lived on the scent of the flowers of illusion
Willing to come to be a bloom blushing under the moonlightA storm of forsaken longings appeared in my night dreams
As if I were bound to an endless labyrinth of delusional enthusiasm
Whenever a bitter apprehension emerged like a ghost, it made me feel like a seashell made of sand and wind
Under the influence of all the whims of my unsteady fate
Hence, I felt the urge to embrace my chaos and vulnerability
Although I was fragile like a snowflake
I never ceased to endure the challenges of my destiny
So much I had coveted to take a look at the crystal orb retaining all the riddles of my future
That I wished to be a witch ruling the realms of the sea and skyI had always questioned all the mirrors encountered in my quest to discover my true self
I really yearned to catch a glimpse of my real image
But I have never been allowed to rest my gaze on those silver surfaces
I had become a mystery to myself
I never made an acquaintance with my soul
And my heart could have known more than me what I truthfully was
Even when the ocean breeze had whispered my name, I couldn’t understand what the great mystery of existence was.
I felt infinite and finite at the same time.
An everlasting flame embodied my passions, which not even the most fierce storm could ever extinguish.
No forsaken longings.
Only crimson roses blooming under a starry sky.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Night Lies Over Me
The night lies over me like an immense quilted blanket of stars and gloomy clouds
Sweet are the whispers of my dreams that welcome me into their magical alcove
Lost in the depths of my imagination
I continue to wander in the night
Unaware of my fate, I am blindfolded on my uncertain path
Letting the disquiet burn in my heart as if I were a candle in a storm
I wait for the thorns to turn into feathers in my secret garden of mystery
Everything is concealed from my eyes
And I wake up in the haze and turmoil
In front of me only emptiness and the scent of fear
How long could I have fed myself on the illusion of my dreams?
I know not as long as the clouds obscured the stars
I covet fondly the freedom of birds lingering in the firmament
I struggle intensely to catch a glimpse of withered flowers and evanescent butterflies
And the night lies over me again like a layered shroud
Quietly the wind whispers legends and enchantments
Taking me into the fantastic realm of chimaeras and the overworld
Where no mortal soul could be conceived
Since only fabulous creatures inhabit my fantasy
Loneliness surrounds me and hushes my eagerness to lose myself easily in the maze of foolishness
I sense my dreams as the only reality where I am my tangible self
An ocean filled with delusions and empty shells attempts to swallow my awareness
The exquisite scent of roses and magnolias cannot rescue me any longer
Since the oblivion of the night’s desires takes hold of me
It was too late for me to redeem my heart
In the solitude of the dusk
When everything seemed so painfully calm
Alas, could I finally find myself in the lost abyss of my ineptitude?
I sigh and dream
No further wisdom enlightens my vision
Now that the night lies over me.
Elisabetta Esther