A dismal obscurity silently descended over the nighttime in the garden of secret and forbidden desires. Once again, the storm had fulfilled its promise to erase ancient memories and delusional hopes from the realm of fantasies and chimaeras. The nights followed each other like a sequence of fables without any beginning or end. All the flowers withdrew from the tempest’s thunder, leaving soaked soil filled with decay and fragments of burning flames. The bitterness of the magic potions that I had to swallow in my frantic existence turned my heart into a heavy stone to carry through nights of solitude and restlessness. Flares of anguish burst in the nighttime while the stars watched me closely like a bizarre creature, who was unworthy of inhabiting that enchanted place filled with wild eccentricities. The freezing wind was so fiercely cold and violent that I could not remain standing for even a moment, reminding me of my fragility and transience. The more unbearable truths demanded to be revealed the more I shrank from discovering them in the great mirror of dilemmas. No matter how much I wanted to cast off all those painful and demoralising memories, they appeared as menacing shadows wherever I went. A dismal obscurity had cast a spell all over the night and no portal could have conducted me to other surroundings since my fate had decreed that I could never depart from the realm of ill-omened nightmares and indulgent sufferings. The art of suffering had become my delight during those harrowing nights of burning tears. The stupor had not even allowed me a moment to relinquish my role as a dreamer of lost, fragmented dreams. The eternal darkness could have been magnificent each instant that a dismal obscurity had claimed my heart solely for the mere purpose of making me feel in each part of my body the misery of the loss of all my dreams while the stars and the moon mocked me with their looks of contempt.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: gothic symbolism
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A Dismal Obscurity
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The Magic Foggy Night
The magic foggy night became my night of dreams and fantastical visions. A bright, cloudy full moon stirred delightful emotions in my heart, cherishing a marvellous melancholy and sordid dismay. My attention was astonished by the sight of a stack of weathered antique books illuminated by a flamboyant candle beside a shining brass armillary sphere. The magic foggy night didn’t reveal its secrets, so I tried to talk to an esoteric book with celestial motifs, asking questions about that mysterious wisdom I was not supposed to know. As I proceeded in my questionable quest, I caught sight of a glowing glass lantern, while a solitary black raven perched on the weathered stone balcony railing amid climbing ivy. In solitude, I was resolute enough to disclose every aspect of my bizarre fate, which never failed to surprise me. As long as the magic foggy night made my imagination more unpredictable and hectic, it caused me to lose my ability to be comforted by my slumbering rest. Many doubts crossed my mind uncomfortably as I gasped uneasily whenever I realised that all I was glimpsing was a pristine daydream. It seemed that beauty was an ephemeral manifestation of my evanescent dreams. For too long I let my expectations fall into the abyss of decay, and in vain I waited for an impetuous storm to invite me into another realm. Nevertheless, the blemishes in my heart became engraved truths, which were too harsh to endure as I became more aware of the desolation of my existence. The magic foggy night had made me acquainted with nocturnal creatures and forbidden knowledge at the sight of splendour and magnificence. Alas, so abruptly time had passed, and oblivion claimed all those treasures, which hitherto had been my cherished belongings. Therefore, my flamboyant candle with the shining brass armillary sphere and weathered antique occult books together with the glowing glass lantern faded away into the void of the gloomy night. The solitary black raven flew high up into the sky until it lay beside the glistering stars. All that remained to be seen was the withered ivy and some relics of my whispers of despair. The magic foggy night had been just an illusion; a dream that didn’t accompany me for as long as I wished. The night’s deception was but an evanescence, vanishing into the darkness and leaving behind nothing but the bitter remembrance of a resplendence that had never truly been mine.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Sun Of Dismay
The Sun of dismay irradiated its glowing rays of light all over me, as if I were not aware enough of my cruel fate. I wish I could have escaped from that hostile destiny, but I was bound to it by an eternal oath.
My sighs and tears could not arrest that tragic scenario poised to, all of a sudden, dismiss the totality of my most cherished dreams. Not even the nighttime legends and fairy tales could divert my attention.
The nocturnal echoes of the barn owls and nightjars interrupted my silent contemplation, every time I stared at the moon from my balcony adorned with ancient finds and magical manuscripts.
Beyond the horizon, I was not able to catch sight of anything else but my dreadful fears that filled my heart with a bitter anguish. And suddenly a freezing wind rose, freezing all the mirrors of my antique mansion.
The Sun of dismay didn’t appear anymore since the day I had decided to fall in love with my regrets and solitude. Nevertheless, far away, cast away from my memories, an obsolete shadow kept haunting the peaceful realm of my thoughts.
No candle dared to illuminate the darkness that dwelled in my realm of nightmares and oddities. My reflection in broken mirrors made me perceive that I was an evanescent hologram of my own imagination.
Was all that real or just a dream? A rocambolesque confusion suddenly struck me like a purely casual event. Surreal was everything I ever dreamed of and mostly the suspense of my bizarre fate.
My invisibility was my strength and the loneliness swarming around me tempted me to surrender to every hesitation of mine, even when the Sun of dismay persisted in materialising like an unexpected ghost.
All my wishes vanished and they were replaced by restlessness in the shape of ghouls wandering in the endless labyrinth of my chance, where destiny and randomness became indistinguishable.
Elisabetta Esther -
Beneath The Light Of A Candle
Beneath the light of a candle
I hid all my sorrows
My crying out loud was the epitome of my shadows
Lying on the wooden soil of my dark chamber
I could listen to the delightful sound of raindrops
My heart had been broken in myriad moments
And I could see it hovering in the sky
Painting the wallpaper with crimson hues
The scent of dragon’s blood incense enveloped me in a thick cloud
I could allow myself to follow my foolish illusions
They have always kept me on the verge of madness
A relentless turmoil would have emptied me endlessly
Fragmenting my soul and transforming it into stardust
I had fallen victim to my own tragedy
Even though I have eluded the burden of grief
All the most beautiful blossoms of my garden had withered
Flowered meadows transformed into a hollow valley of tears and withered rose petals
I had lost all my dearest treasures and a spell was cast over my erratic fate
Crimson and dark shadows were confining me in my infernal dwelling
Haunted by dark memories and vicious obsessions
Where I couldn’t find a sparkle of love and hope
I might have been allowed to see my relentless crypt
There she stood so magnificent and exquisite
A monument to my witlessness and folly
Beneath the light of a candle
I had vanished anonymously
Only glooms and clouds were grieving for me
Under a sky made of glass and pearls
At nightfall
When chimaeras and ghouls gathered
As soon as the moon summoned them
Therefore I had become a creature of the otherworld
A realm of perpetual twilight and wilted leaves
Where wisdom had forever been obliterated
And silence sealed the portal to mortal sight.
Elisabetta Esther -
A Shallow Melancholy
A shallow melancholy caught me in the labyrinth of torment and insomnia. My heart was pierced and disheartened by senseless whirlwinds of despair and anguish.
I didn’t know where I was headed, but I could only feel a tremendous intimidation inside myself. A vast, gloomy shadow wouldn’t allow me to see beyond the horizon.
I had no destination, and it seemed that I had no free choice to escape from that doomed fate of mine. The haze was so dense, and the night was so dark that I couldn’t find any portal to allow me to escape.
I screamed to the stars, but they refused to listen to my voice, and I was cast away from their gaze for eternity. The everlasting darkness granted me the utmost agony, and sorrow lulled me to a fatal slumber.
Although I cherished my dreams, they vanished into the ashes of decay. Solitude and loneliness had spellbound me with their sombre and mournful enchantment.
In a mystic aura, I was viscously bound to a magical realm of lost spirits and wicked wraiths, which whispered their laments to my ears.
I knew not who I had become and what my name was. So much confused and chaotic was the state of my heart that it sank deeply into the abyss of havoc.
I fell into ecstasy and bliss, enjoying my decay and every pang bestowed upon my heart. Hurt and frantic, I shed tears of bliss and elation.
My sobs and sighs broke the solemn silence that remained my most loyal companion in that kingdom of demise and chagrin.
Frenzy distressed me, and turmoil shattered my heart. I embraced the bitter emptiness, hovering like an ethereal creature in search of magic vaults and secret forests.
And there were no beginnings nor ends in the domain of the shallow melancholy. I dangled from spectral threads that drew me into my perpetual disintegration. And I lay there, claimed by the hereafter.
Elisabetta Esther -
Bliss And Euphoria
Bliss and euphoria pervaded my delightful and exquisite nights,
As dreams and passions drifted like evanescent rose petals.Traversing the infinite corridors of the labyrinth of my imagination,
I surrendered to the magnificence of the gardens of crimson roses.I let the solemn depth of the night touch my heart in silence,
And allowed the shadows of darkness to linger around me.The fractures within my soul mirrored the twilight, and the stars stared at me,
In a game of love and demise, where I was the main character.There weren’t any more winter mornings, nor summer evenings,
The only perpetual season was the frosty nighttime.Indeed, time had been obliterated,
And my heart had sunk deep into the abyss of deception.Surrounded by ashes and spider webs, I have faded away as many times as there are stars in the sky.
I had become a devotee of my own grotesque fantasies, secluded in my castle of tragedies, gloomy phantasmagorias and sighs of grief.
Feeding myself with enchanted spells, magic elixirs and frosty flowers, I was wandering in my realm of nightmares and shadows.
Wraiths and demons hid behind ancient dusty ruins and brambles, while a blizzard was stroking the several withered flowers and dead trees.
Bliss and euphoria touched my heart like radiant arrows, making me lose every glimmer of wisdom.
I could feel joy and pang all over my body, although anguish didn’t spare my soul.The cynical sorrow had seized my fate with its menacing grip, leaving my heart languishing under a startling vexation.
Sharp thorns and scarlet roses were climbing over me in my garden of love and oblivion, willing to surrender to such a wicked destiny.
Therefore, it happened that I was crowned the Queen of Darkness, under an arcane oath with the vow of never looking back nor ever regretting my belonging to the realm of doom.
Elisabetta Esther -
A Storm Of Tragedies
A storm of tragedies suddenly overwhelmed me
Dragging me into the abyss of despair and surrender
A delight for my weeping heart that was burning like an inextinguishable flame
My fate knew no expectation
No longing was any longer granted to me
I had been overwhelmed once again
And I had been forsaken by my own stars
Rather, I had been retained in shadows and dismay
Lost in my soliloquies
I realised that it was all a dreadful dream
A nightmare in disguise
And so the eternal night never came to an end
The sky was invisible to me
While I was relegated to my secret vault
In solitude and dismay, I was destined to endure my existence
Emptiness was swallowing me from within
As I could hear the sound of my tears collapsing incessantly on the frigid soil
Anguish didn’t spare my heart, stroking it like a ceaseless dismay
I knew not what destiny might have reserved for me
Dread kept my heart in pangs, helpless in its naivety and foolishness
Even the moon averted its gaze from me
Whilst a deafening silence surrounded me
The cold wind of the eternal night could no longer hurt me
Since I had become a creature of darkness, without longings or expectations
My downfall had become my reprieve
I had found delight in discomfort and grief
My secret refuge was made of dust and bare stones
My comfort and haven were made of chaos
Dreaming of starlight and love was only a remote chimeara
I was no longer the privileged creature of stars and rainbows
Instead, I belonged to the realm of gloomy skies and vicious traps
In my frozen loneliness and seclusion
Therein I was destined to subsist in decadence and sweet melancholy
With no rescue or transformation
Pearls and tears were flowing down my face and body
And I remained therein forever.
Elisabetta Esther