Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: haunting beauty

  • Awaken By Nightmares

    Awaken By Nightmares

    Awaken by nightmares at nightfall
    I surrender to the sense of my fragility and languor
    Condemned to wander perpetually in the forest of darkness
    With no clear direction to follow

    Stroked by the gelid indifference of humankind
    I am lured to the realm of my dreams and delusions
    To avoid facing reality and shun all conformism that brings me down
    Choosing to stop hiding my emotions and let them flow like a winter rainfall

    I decided to live on chimaeras and desires
    Being determined that there is no impossibility
    But everything is possible and feasible
    As long as I belong to the world of dreams

    Awaken by nightmares amid the night
    My will leaves me and I become a paradox and absurdity
    Because madness and folly strive to entangle me in their labyrinth with no escapes
    Where I am bound to the whims of my fancies

    I dissolve into the ethereal and I see that all my visions and dreams are real
    And now the world where I live is magnificent and exquisite
    I don’t feel pain, nor anguish, nor fear
    Everything is beautiful and nonsense as it must be

    When we greet and wish each other Good Morning or Good Evening
    What do we really wish for?
    Do we mean to continue our day as regular and similar to the previous one?
    Or do we aim for something more spectacular and extravagant?

    Most of the people live like monads
    Always connected but disconnected and indifferent
    Always connected but lonely and sad
    They say, “Dress to impress,” but I would rather confirm that people wear masks just to avoid being themselves and exposing their flaws

    Do we keep ourselves alive just to survive or to live?
    I never understood the humankind mindset
    It could be I’m not from this world but from another realm
    Impressive would be to see humans show and manifest their real emotions and impulses
    After all, we should all be awakened by nightmares to live our dreams.
    Elisabetta

  • Lost In My Thoughts

    Lost In My Thoughts

    Lost in my thoughts like a leaf is carried away by the wind
    In my garden of forbidden fruits and poisonous flowers
    Noticing all the colours and scents in their variety
    As I approach them, they reveal their secrets to me

    Memories stroke me like soft petals
    While I dream about the infinity of the universe
    As I explore the city streets among light and darkness
    Contemplating the sublimity of the stars

    In my loneliness, my only companion is my shadow, following me everywhere I go
    And I slowly realised that all my existence had been an illusion
    A delusional dream that enclosed me in a crystal cage
    And enslaved by my obsessions, I strive to survive

    I always find myself thinking about him, even though it has been a while since I last saw him
    His smile and voice made me melt like a snowflake under the sun of his beautiful soul
    Crying because I miss him, although I don’t know him
    Being so far yet so close, I surrender to my senses, bedazzled by love and frightened by the unknown

    I feel like a red flame bird soaring high in the sky
    Reaching for the stars in a firmament of diamonds and corals
    Only to fall down into the dim chasm of my anguish
    Where all my teardrops had created a blustery ocean

    My name is carved in every star as soon as I touch them
    And lost in my thoughts, I wish that my desires may be realised
    Delusional and silly, I’ve always been waiting for blessings and happiness
    Although all that I could see was an empty desert of sad desolation

    Remaining awake and dazzled, I try to realise that all my existence didn’t make any sense
    My unique hope relies on my dreams and illusions
    Therefore, I feel aghast by my disdainful fears and insecurities
    While I get lost in my dangerous thoughts.
    Elisabetta

  • Swallowed By The Emptiness

    Swallowed By The Emptiness

    Swallowed by the emptiness, I strive to survive
    And it seems that I’ve lost everything
    And I feel that I’ve got lost in the obscure abyss of my anguish
    And it’s only my fragility that guides me through the darkness

    The cruel fate threw me into a life of decay and despair
    An existence of invisibility and nonsense
    Where I struggle to be understood and loved
    And solitude rips my heart apart

    Wandering alone in the night
    I lose myself in an infinite myriad of thoughts
    And I try to scream, but there is no way to be heard
    While I lose my mind, falling into the abyss of madness

    Foolish as I am
    Every time, I believe in having found my way
    I only find walls made of gelid stones
    With no doors

    So I stopped to trust my dreams
    Since they are the most deceptive illusions
    Traps made of enchanting flowers and magic spells
    Traps that become my alcoves of salvation

    And I remain an unconscious prisoner of such captivating visions
    And I linger in silence without saying anything anymore
    I forget the sound of my voice to only remember the sound of my sobs
    When despair fractures me in millions of pieces

    The sweet melody of decadence soothes my soul
    I feel only love and anguish
    My heart bleeds teardrops of passion
    Lacerated as it is with a doomed destiny

    Swallowed by the emptiness
    I wander in the dark nights in the labyrinth of my nightmares
    To lie there hopeless and betrayed
    With a mind full of phoney delusions

    Trying to lie to myself
    I became convinced that there are clouds of happiness
    Where I’m valued and remembered
    A phantasmagoria of glowing glare and delight

    Hence, a fraudulent bliss enchained me eternally
    And an inextinguishable flame burns my bleeding heart
    Inflaming my soul with its ethereal fire
    A fire made of emptiness and indifference.
    Elisabetta

  • I Live Of Instants

    I Live Of Instants

    I live of instants that become memories
    Dying in the dark of the mind
    Whenever I encounter a flower, a tree or a cloud
    Slowly melting under the burden of my passions
    I become another drop of a rainstorm that flows through myself

    Glowing stars are witnesses of the insanity of my own dreams
    Faraway chimaeras of a fate that fell apart
    Like a fractured crystal shattered into an infinity of burning flames
    Softly waiting to fade away and never reappear
    So, I do feel the fragility of my essence in the vast darkness that is striving to swallow me

    I acquiesce in the light of solitude and silence
    The abyss of nothingness striving to swallow me
    In its limitless gorge where no sparkle of hope is allowed to be
    And the ephemeral sense of existence is obliterated
    In the magnificent realm of decay

    I live of instants that become a part of me
    In a nostalgic and sweet decadence dwelling in me
    A suspended flower without roots or ground to rely on
    Lonely in the cold atmosphere of my shell
    Where I will always belong for eternity

    I’ve always lived in a surreal reality
    Neither dead nor alive
    Being in abeyance
    Surrounded by dead stories
    And death and blood

    Life was fading into a chamber full of dust of decay
    Sweet decadence was my exquisite dream and comfort
    In a world where I perpetually faded away into wonders and nightmares
    In the illusion of change eventually, embracing the ordinary and expected
    My heart was pounding because of the absence of a thrill

    Sweet was the slumber that wrapped me
    In a celestial aura of avoidance and devastation
    Where all my senses were betrayed by blades and burns
    Embracing sorrow and misery
    Ignored by most as I was an invisible ghost

    I live of instants and memories hidden by the darkness of my soul
    A kingdom of obscurity and decadence
    Where I’m the only beloved ruler
    Gasping and signing once I’ve lost all my tears in the affliction of the night.
    Elisabetta

  • The Ocean of Gloominess

    The Ocean of Gloominess

    The ocean of gloominess stretched before me and beyond any imagination, displaying all its magnificence and supremacy.

    Fears and insecurities became ominous shadows that grew bigger, like intense storms dragging me deep into the abyss of oblivion.

    Freezing was the wind that embraced me with its long, spiky arms like a sweet and sour betrayal that ripped my heart.

    I would embrace non-existence rather than existence as a valley of distress and pain where I don’t find any place of joy and peace.

    Not relying on trust anymore, searching desperately for the truth buried underneath, I laid down on the cold soil, waiting for my eternal slumber to drag me away.

    Teardrops covered my face, freezing under the shapes of crystals and gems, now that nothing would have remained.

    And so, I became a part of that frozen realm where all the trees and flowers were made of insensitive frost.

    Not feeling anything anymore was my source of delight and amusement. I strived to forget all the memories as if I really never existed.

    The ocean of gloominess enticed me with its mystery and illusions, its sovereignty and cruelty.

    The nothingness lured me over and over again till I fell into the snare of the void where I coveted to finish like an ethereal dream of mine.

    Hence, I fainted again in a deadly slumber, a permanent one from which I couldn’t wake anymore, becoming just a frail, glimmering snowflake.

    Fleeting moments became remembrances to be obliterated like sand devoured by the wind. And dread overcame every little sparkle of mirth, leaving me adrift in the eternity of despair.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Ephemeral Sense of Oblivion

    An Ephemeral Sense of Oblivion

    An ephemeral sense of oblivion descended upon the decadent realm of darkness,
    As an ocean of sorrow and grief dissolved into the dim night sky,
    And stars were obliterated by the obscurity of the infinite void.

    Feeling like a tiny flower in the immensity of nightfall,
    I sensed the vast darkness of the sea claiming my soul,
    Unveiling remembrances as haunting, shadowed visions of my past.

    Feeling no fear, I wandered into the unknown depths of the night,
    My thoughts were ensnared by ghouls of the past,
    Catching glimpses of horrible, ambiguous visions.

    Bleeding teardrops descended from my heart,
    As awkward chaos consumed my mind,
    Drowning me in the vast ocean of memories.

    My sacrifices lay shattered, lost to dust and decay,
    In a slumber, I fell like a flower falling into a lake,
    Unaware of the consequences of my anguish.

    Dreaming about unrealistic expectations,
    Beneath the shadows of darkness, fears and vulnerabilities blossomed in a garden of brutality and chaos,
    Inside a labyrinth woven with twisted roots of dread.

    When the night disclosed secrets, they became venomous and sweet,
    While grotesque truths appeared beyond mirrors of hidden torments,
    Shards of fractured loves were scattered and jagged in the void.

    Through the dark maze, I staggered, each step sinking deeper,
    Each gloom revealed wounds that festered beneath my fragile longings,
    And despair suffocated me.

    A faint light emerged, flickering like a dying flame at the mercy of the winds,
    Pulling me closer with its eerie and unyielding spell,
    With the only promise that I was going to face oblivion’s embrace.

    The stars had vanished after they were swallowed whole by the void,
    Leaving me adrift in the profound ocean of my tacit dreads,
    And finally, the night consumed me entirely.

    An ephemeral sense of oblivion fractured my heart,
    Until I became nothing more than an erased memory,
    Forever lost in the decadent realm of darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Realm of Dust and Decay

    The Realm of Dust and Decay

    The realm of dust and decay was the place where I’d been hiding all my life, hopeless and devoid of love.

    A frozen spiderweb trapped me like a doomed dungeon full of wickedness, oppression and violence.

    Fate hasn’t been fair enough to grant me mirth and tranquillity but instead reserved me a prison of decay and lifeless despair.

    Invisible chains of control and oppression were twisted around my body, making me wish to fall into the abyss of death.

    The nights were too long to keep my sanity alive, long enough to remember that I was alive.

    Every night was too long to endure the chaos inside myself.

    Like a storm, each day was a struggle to keep me alive without any wisdom and future sight.

    Dreaming about oblivion and escape to a realm of dreams and illusions.

    Dreams and fantastic tales were the only evasions from my reality that displayed brutal colours among the tedious rituals of phoney perfection.

    Having lost my essence and my innocence, I became a non-living creature.

    Believing that couldn’t be more different, the reality surrounding me like an ominous dark cloud.

    I fell into the abyss of self-obliteration and resignation, swallowed by an undesirable fate.

    Living a life at the mercy of the winds and storms.

    Feeling a tiny flower floating in the vast ocean of the unknown.

    Mad nightmares were constant visions, like surrealist paintings of despair.

    My secrets became my only identity, kept hidden like a treasure.

    As a living paradox and contradiction, I was just part of the realm of dust and decay.

    And there was no escape from the labyrinth that held me captive, like a bird stripped of its wings.

    And, as if in an absolute dream, I longed only to vanish into the infinite darkness, never to emerge again.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Sad Dreams

    Sad Dreams

    Sad dreams in the middle of a sleepless night,
    When silence ruled the realm of sounds,
    And the darkness was the only companion in the nocturnal fate,
    Faraway from tranquillity and joy.

    Sad thoughts provoked teardrops falling like a nighttime rain shower,
    Lost dreams became remembrances of chimaeras echoing their defeat.

    In an eternal dreamlike night, the clouds of illusions hid the pale countenance of the sombre moon,
    Which was jealous of the gleaming happiness of the stars,
    And the infinite void stared at the sky with a sense of wonder and uncertainty.

    Visions that belonged to an imaginary universe appeared like phantoms of desires and passions that were never meant to exist in the real world.

    The infinite nothingness concealed enigmas with sorrow and dread,
    Every reminiscence became a shadow, and every hope was extinguished by the coldness of the emptiness.

    Vast and oppressive utopias were the domains where the soul wandered desperately,
    Seeking consolation from the decayed ruins of broken oaths.

    And even in these forsaken lands, glooms clung to every dream,
    Betrayal etched itself into the fabric of love and devotion,
    Into a labyrinth of despair, where fragments of failure carved their mark,
    Souls were bound to an endless cycle of anguish and regret.

    Dreamers were burdened by the consequence of invisible chains of betrayal and disloyalty,
    They moved as though wading through rivers of ink and sand.
    The stars dimmed their gleam, offering no guidance,
    While the moon turned its pale face away in quiet disdain.

    The storm’s gusts carried the lament of epochs past,
    Their wails pierced the ethereal veil of endless nights.

    Are dreams supposed to perish, or do they live on in the dark, forsaken and unseen?
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Dungeon of Sadness

    The Dungeon of Sadness

    The dungeon of sadness was a trap of beauty and delight,
    Luring dreams and visions to embark on a journey in its labyrinthine trails,
    Until they were soaked in sorrow and grief,
    Like dead leaves trapped in a swamp.

    A suffocating heft bore down, laden with despair,
    Wrapping around like an overwhelming shroud.
    The walls wept, their stone faces slick
    With tears of ages long forgotten.

    A faint glow oozed through the fractures,
    Not of longing but of some unearthly dread,
    Casting shapes that jigged like phantoms,
    Teasing the lost who wandered within.

    Corroded chains clung to the slammer’s bones,
    Each link was an eerie monument to captive dreams.
    The silence wailed louder than screams,
    Like oppression depressing the weary senses.

    This labyrinth of grief and distress became a realm of nightmares,
    Where there was no escape but only deception.
    The sky became overcrowded with ominous clouds,
    Which smothered all the luminaries striving to gleam through the gloom.

    A mist of languid sorrow and melancholy steered like a lugubre presage,
    Hope was a fleeting spectre whose whispers drowned in the ocean of oblivion.
    The mirror of torments reflected the anguish of each soul,
    And all the joy and light were depleted in the dungeon of sadness.

    The maw of despair devoured the time,
    And its beauty lay in the perfection of its torments,
    Such a cruel art that was engraved in endless suffering dreams,
    A lament that echoed eternally in the void.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Mansion of Anguish

    The Mansion of Anguish

    The mansion of anguish was filled with flowers of dread,
    Sighs echoed in each empty chamber like merry butterflies,
    The scent of betrayal penetrated every crevice of this eerie dwelling,
    As a consequence of broken vows and promises.

    The name of love has been desecrated, and love itself has been obliterated,
    In an extinguished fire, vestiges of mirth were lying,
    Buried underneath a stack of piles of ashes and blood,
    And the pain was carved on each stone.

    Hushed sobs created a fountain of dismay and grief,
    Where solitary souls had the habit of indulging secretly,
    Waiting for their lovers who were never supposed to come back,
    In a frolic of delusional hallucinations and cruel fate.

    In the middle of the night, farewell left their signs on the decayed walls and shattered mirrors,
    Leaving mere remembrances of broken hearts and aborted dreams,
    Beneath the obsessive moonlight, whose frantic light gleams stroke perpetually the dead flowers in the garden,
    While this realm of decay sparkled magnificently in all its darkness.

    Repetitive laments bloomed like blossoms of death,
    Since the mansion of anguish and sorrow emerged as a monument to decadence,
    And every star hid itself from the insistent stare of the moon’s pale and haunting gaze,
    Shadows of forsaken and lost lovers lingered, whispering fragments of unfulfilled desires and regrets into the hollow aura.

    Each murmur was enthralled by the walls that held infinite teardrops of agony,
    And every silent portrait, dimmed by epochs of neglect, seemed to weep silently in unison with the affliction around them.
    The desolate wind sighed through all the halls, shallowing the ruins of destroyed trinkets that once held sentimental bargains.
    The mansion of anguish became a despondent residence engulfed in an eternal night.
    It stood as a forgotten memorial to love’s betrayal and decay, where beauty had endlessly perished, leaving only a ghostly vestige in its haunted place.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah