Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: haunting beauty

  • A Spectacular Mirage

    A Spectacular Mirage

    A spectacular mirage manifested before my eyes in a torrid night of discomforts
    Everywhere there was a scalding haze made of phantomatic dreams and delighting chimaeras
    Never a doubt caught me while a storm of nightmares was brewing over the night sky
    And everything was just darkness and infinity

    I only needed to lose myself to discover my real self
    So many times I have climbed insurmountable heights to realise that I had metamorphosed into something totally different
    Like an ethereal shape that would change incessantly without abeyance
    Each time desiring something new

    The different windows of my life had shut and opened
    Disclosing a multitude of scenarios and dreamland
    The sun had conquered me while the moon hid viciously behind a blanket of spectacular stars
    Majestic dreams had always overwhelmed my heart, and I found myself in an ocean of tears and anguish

    Wandering into the forest of bliss and delight
    I had lost myself permanently
    As if I were unable to think and keep sparkles of wisdom in my treasure chest
    Everything was darkness
    Nothing was translucent
    No aid would have reached me in that mayhem
    Every part of my body and heart could feel the great tragedy of existence

    Dreaming of isles and oceans where nothing had sense
    Nor even desiring
    I could feel myself flimsy like a tiny flower carried away by the winds
    At the mercy of the winds and raging storms
    I wandered in confusion, traversing kingdoms and labyrinths
    In a way, I was detached from my longings, and I was eager to embrace new realms and visions

    A spectacular mirage awaited me beyond the shadows of the night sky
    As an enchantment ready to cast a mysterious spell over me
    Not taking care of any concern, I resigned myself to my fate.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Portal Of Oblivion

    The Portal Of Oblivion

    The portal of oblivion stood in the garden of secret desires
    Castaway as I was in the dizziness of the loss and grief
    I strove to grab some earth mixed with mud to feel the emptiness of that desolate place
    Where only ghosts dared to inhabit during the desolate nights of a summer
    Silence was disrupted by the steady wind, bringing some fresh relief to the tired trees
    While the moonlight rays glimmered over the flowerbeds

    No surprise could have overcome my quietness
    Now that I was embracing my golden seclusion
    Outlying the fatuous and polluted world of mortals
    Lost in the mangroves of my worries and thoughts
    After fear had left its imprints everywhere
    Wishing I could leave my past self behind the portal of oblivion once I had traversed it
    I felt like no tragedy could ever happen to me
    Although I was willing to take the risk
    Since I was used to living in the uncertainty

    I fell into a deep slumber, and I dreamed gibberish
    I felt deep inside that I couldn’t have protected myself from my fate
    For everything I was destined to was beyond my imagination
    Like a wanderer without a destination, I couldn’t discern where I really wanted to be because I couldn’t know what I was truly feeling inside my heart
    It was like I came to be an inanimate statue made of ice and crystal

    The more I wanted to know, the more I lost my memories
    In the effort to survive all the storms of life and the wicked tragedies
    I have transformed into a storm myself
    Powerful yet ephemeral like a summer night raindrop
    My heart has turned into a crystal gem, and I couldn’t feel any sensation of frostiness or warmth
    For I was an evanescent creature of that realm of dreams and coveted chimaeras
    Beyond the portal of oblivion.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Shadows And Blooms

    Shadows And Blooms

    Shadows and blooms disappeared at night in the shape of moonlight
    Faltering the candlelight announced a thrilling night made of lightning and thunder
    For a storm was waiting for me to disclose my secrecy
    Indeed, I had forgotten all my precious dreams locked like charming jewels in a treasure chest
    Alas, time announced that I was late, and I had to renounce my previous intentions
    I got distracted by my studies and books because the dust had covered me up like a heavy blanket
    And here I was, or at least I thought I was
    Since in a fragile existence, everything could have been possible
    Even to be carried by my very own fantasies to the starry sky, an unknown territory to me
    Doubt and fear had me walk down to the cold soil of my mysterious garden with no flowers

    Shadows and blooms reappeared at night whenever I was not expecting them
    Like unexpected guests waiting for my slumber to overwhelm my mind
    In an eternal quest for lost hopes and betrayals, the darkness of the night manifested with its myriad of enchantments
    Castaway on the edge of the firmament like an isolated star
    I kept wandering in surprise and anguish
    Weary and unimpressed
    With the certainty in my heart that keeps whispering deceptions
    When the only treasure I truly coveted was a sugar-coated truth
    In my own chaos
    Where oftentimes I was a stranger to myself
    As if I never knew my intrinsic essence
    Instead, I had become evanescent like a thin cloud disappearing in the night haze

    Far away, I could see the ocean touching the sky with its waves
    It could have been my hallucination
    It could have been my desire
    Shadows and blooms vanished from my sight
    And instead
    I found myself in the desert of loneliness
    Surrounded by the cold gusts of a winter storm, chaperoning me to the abyss of darkness and nightmares.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Shadows Of Solitude

    The Shadows Of Solitude

    The shadows of solitude followed me in my endless journey of self-discovery
    No storm or fog could distract my search for the mysteries that my fate dared to hide from my gaze
    Extravagant fantasies appeared as evanescent chimaeras glowing like stars in the darkness of the night
    Ravens and crows gathered around me, whispering arcana secrets to me, as they already possessed the knowledge reserved for immortal spirits
    Even the rain and wind didn’t encounter an effortless manner to rule that kingdom
    Where inky feathers fell all over me while I saw blank mirrors floating like autumn leaves on a pond

    The shadows of solitude guided me in the deepest night in the midst of the misty forest of my dreams
    I followed the trail enlightened by scattered candelabras and poetry rhymes
    My perseverance was unapologetic and I cared only for my own wonder
    Since the day I decided to abandon my bitter memories and leave them in the swamp of my past
    The majestic and fierce vault of a Gothic cathedral hid the vast starry sky, inducing me to listen to the sumptuous melody of an ancient organ
    I felt dizzy as if under a magic spell that had been cast on me by my most hidden desires

    The dimness of my fears vanished immediately as if they never existed and they couldn’t hurt anymore
    So much glistening light I found in the deepest gloominess
    Guided by my untamed heart ready to embrace every unreachable mirage
    I followed the phantasmic echoes of the nocturnal clouds staring at me in my intricate voyage without a specific destination
    Since the day I had willingly lost myself within the mist of my own dreams
    I was no longer startled by my limits because I decided to become infinite and potent like a lone glistening luminary
    Belonging to eternity
    Perfect in my frailties.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Mournful Shadows

    Mournful Shadows

    In the stillness of the night, the sky was stormy and overcrowded with lightning and thunder. Rain was pouring down, and the wind was impetuous.

    The exquisite scent of rainwater perfumed my small chamber from which I glimpsed the dark and stormy landscape.

    Chaos and order alternated in my bleak soul, full of grief. A piercing funereal pain had gripped my entire essence.

    Intrusive thoughts and faded hopes crowded my mind as if they were unwelcome intruders, not invited by me.

    Joy and darkness unfolded like buds in my soul, becoming thorny briars that wounded my heart and tore apart my being.

    The bright sun, dethroned in the sky by great threatening and dark clouds in a midsummer storm, was no longer on my visual horizon, making me reflect on my bleak and mortal fate, which condemned me to a sense of perpetual anguish.

    It was as if I had lost the ability to express all that I felt in my heart, the most hidden secrets and concealed truths that I had never been able to reveal to any mortal.

    My fragility had become my only resource—my shattering into pieces and severing from the source of life, from every source of life—had made me like a dead flower in a solitary valley, where a majestic and deserted tower saw its reflection in a ridiculous, nearly nonexistent pond.

    My fragility had become my only resource—my shattering into pieces and severing from the source of life, from every source of life—had made me like a dead flower in a solitary valley, where a majestic and deserted tower saw its reflection in a ridiculous, nearly nonexistent pond.

    Mournful shadows ruled over me.
    They were the ones who decided my path and my fate.
    They were invisible, yet present—and immensely powerful.
    I felt like a doll, a puppet, at the mercy of their whimsical desires and decisions.

    And so I perished,
    by the hand of my own fears,
    by the hand of my own funeral anguish,
    And I became a mournful shadow myself,
    No different from the others.
    Elisabetta

  • An Enigma In the Twilight

    An Enigma In the Twilight

    An enigma in the twilight was before me,
    In a decaying and decadent dwelling
    where I fell into a deep slumber.

    The silence after the storm.
    That was all I could hear as I stared at the ceiling, decorated and inlaid with grotesque figures, cobwebs, and peeling paint.
    I was reflecting on my life and my dreams.
    It felt as though I was already inside one of my dreams, yet I could not be certain whether I was conscious or not.
    The pendulum clock could no longer offer that familiar chime that once marked the hours — and with them, time itself.
    The deafening silence had filled the entire mansion, whose walls were adorned with portraits that stared at me as if they wished to reveal secrets — or perhaps their memories.

    Was the enigma in the twilight merely a product of my imagination,
    Or could it be that this ancient and dilapidated place
    held enigmas my heart perceived as a potential object of interest —
    a heart now emptied of all the feelings it had carried through a lifetime,
    senselessly and heavily, like a tremendous burden?

    The only clock that marked the hour was an old timepiece,
    And it seemed to have stopped at exactly 22:22.
    The strange air of the mansion allowed the night to seep in
    With a peculiar glow that filtered through the curtains — thick, but not too thick.
    It was a house rich in memories and forgetfulness,
    in joys and grudges, in violence and death,
    in life and love, in ugliness and beauty,
    In magnificence and horror.

    Absorbed in my thoughts and lost in my memories,
    I fell into a state of deep melancholy and sadness,
    as if an abyss had swallowed me whole
    and forced me to live a life in a non-existent world
    of sorrow and ghostly recollections.
    Elisabetta

  • Crimson Tears

    Crimson Tears

    Crimson tears came from my deep distress
    As I was wandering infinitely until the edges of time
    Despair became my safe dwelling
    And solitude was just a necessity
    For I was unloved and lonely

    In dungeons of grief and sorrow, I found myself
    Depriving myself of solace was my favourite forte
    I soaked in depression until I drowned deep in the abyss of self-destruction
    I chose to live in chaos because I had lost my sanity
    Madness had become my guide and my wisdom

    I nullified my expectations and I indulged in destructive memories
    I drank from the toxic goblet of oblivion
    With the specific purpose to erase my heart
    Was that feasible?
    I knew not

    Unlearning all my knowledge and forgetting who I was
    I had become nothingness
    I had become a shadow of the underworld
    My soul had dissolved in the infinite void
    I could only feel the darkness take possess of my body

    Crimson tears hushed into rivers of blood
    While the incessant storm of the night locked me up
    In the total gloominess and in the most deafening silence
    I had found consolation in obliteration
    A funeral fanfare came to be my hymn of love and my final requiem

    I embraced death, and I faded away
    I was finally the queen of the realm of arcane shadows
    A kingdom where I ruled over the dead and wraiths
    Surrounded by hollow trees and sharp daggers
    And dressed with spider webs and fragments of vestiges

    I wandered through a mist filled with decay and ashes
    Where nothing changed not even the slow crawl of time
    No praises were to be found but only the pang of endings
    I lay beneath the deformed tree branches
    Among roots slick with damp and grave moss
    And the night closed over me like a tombstone.
    Elisabetta

  • Mirrors And Delusions

    Mirrors And Delusions

    Mirrors and delusions surrounded me as I wandered through a labyrinth carved from my own expectations. Each hidden niche kept a secret, and each silent sigh was a vow that dissolved in the emptiness. I strived to hold distant glimpses I could never keep, and the more I yearned, the taller the walls grew.

    Wildflowers whispered legends about betrayal and wickedness. Sadness teardrops fell over me like jet ink, leaving trails of darkness on my uncertain way. Clouds of gloom and sorrow met in the sky, feasting on the ephemeral sense of existence. My silence was my words. I had no needs or ambitions to fulfil any more because my ego was obliterated.

    Hence, it began my passage into the liminal state. My distorted reflection in the mirrors could have been the fruit of my hallucinations or the effective image of myself. Everything could have betrayed me, even myself. There was no longer a sun in the firmament of this realm of lugubrious descent. Where fallacy and degradation ruled.

    Polished crystals shone their glimmer, not to guide, but to deceive as each light was just a false oath, drawing me deeper into the hollow abyss of this maze of madness. Lonely I was never since shadows and ghosts accompanied me whenever I would wander. Their countenances were dreary and appalling.

    Mirrors and delusions hid my truth and plundered my heart of innocence and hope. They filled my route with deceit and cruel traps. I had become invisible and voiceless in their dungeon of decadence and death. I had to surrender to their power and supremacy. I wouldn’t consider myself a wisdom keeper since my insanity grew like a flower among tombstones.

    No more farewell to my dreams, for they no longer belonged to me, but to the nothingness that now bore my name.
    Elisabetta

  • Teardrops Of Expectation

    Teardrops Of Expectation

    Teardrops of expectation accompanied me on my silent nights
    When my solitude was a phantom visiting me during my feverish slumber
    I left the real world because I knew I couldn’t belong to it
    In the end, I was a creature of the darkness
    Craving for mystery and arcane revelations

    I knew not what was expecting me
    The unknown was my gloomy path made of unstable cobblestones and thorns
    I may have desired that my dreams could become true
    Nevertheless, I was the silent muse of sadness and the embodiment of grief
    I stood in the middle of my dark chamber, waiting for a sign

    My mind was full of hallucinations and demise
    I couldn’t find myself and the meaning of my existence
    I was there still like a marble sculpture and my heart was a cold stone
    Nothing could ever break my bones anymore
    I embraced my fears and my doomed fate

    Drops of gold and dust descended from the ancient walls
    It was like even the walls were weeping my anguish
    I became dizzy and weaker like a small petal falling from its flower
    I was not like other mortals because I was an ethereal spirit
    Living in a castle of decay and forsaken vestiges

    Death was part of my being as long as the eternal void surrounded me
    The soft melodies of the past had departed from my reality
    Where I was, the reality was obliterated as well as time
    Despair transformed into a surreal garden of oblivion and madness
    Full of dead spirits and shrieking ghouls

    Teardrops of expectation softly caressed my heart
    As if my waiting were the apex of broken moons dripping onto vacant meadows
    While silent masks bloomed from the soil
    And I dissolved as a nameless ghost into the shadows of forgotten kingdoms
    Beyond every imagination.
    Elisabetta

  • Leaving Myself Behind

    Leaving Myself Behind

    Leaving myself behind
    Through the pains and fears
    Anguish was my ruler
    And I didn’t demand anything
    Hurt was my soul made of pins and blood

    The roars of the demons claiming me echoed in my head
    The castle of doom was my pristine dwelling
    It was made of bones and ashes
    In the gloominess of the midnight

    I was fleeing from death to become decadence
    Leaving everything behind
    My past had crumbled to sand and memories
    Remembrances that followed me wherever I was going

    Disgraceful was my existence and only thorns stroked me
    Black roses were swallowing me like a prey
    Gloaming shadows surrounded me
    Beneath the indifferent gaze of the silvery moon

    I could only hear laments as manifestations of the night
    A mist of sorrow shrouded me like a gloomy cloak
    The cold air was full of decadence
    My heart slowed down at the sound of the drums of mourning

    I wandered beneath the barren heavens
    I had become a ghost clothed in remnants of despair
    I strived to seek refuge and rescue
    But all I could ever feel was the numbness of endless wandering

    The world around me blurred into shadows
    My realm was a graveyard of forsaken dreams
    Where even the stars had eclipsed for eternity
    And the winds sang elegies to my fall

    In this endless procession of sadness
    I was no longer a creature of the light because my heart was deceased
    But I was only a phantom dissolving into a mist
    Forever swallowed by the sorrowful darkness

    Leaving myself behind
    I left a trail of thorns and blood
    My heart was torn apart
    I was just a shadow of the underworld

    My face was carved with tears and scars
    And the paleness of death erased it all
    As if all my agony had faded like dust
    In the end, I vanished into the oblivion of forsaken sorrows.
    Elisabetta

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