Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: heart

  • An Apathetic Wonder

    An Apathetic Wonder

    An apathetic wonder at the sight of all the future catastrophes
    A meaningful fear traps me and pulls me into the abyss of obscurity
    Ghosts and spectres are my eager companions
    Being in many places in one day
    Travelling time quickly in a preternatural form
    A glare of light and fire pretended to scare me
    Everything was a dream of a vision
    And suddenly, the present night appears
    No more complaints when the world would outcast

    An apathetic wonder like a golden morning candle
    For another cold scent of winter
    When the rain does not stop pouring on the streets
    In the heat
    And my blood is frozen like the winter snow
    The beautiful colours of stars become flowers
    All of a sudden
    A mystery which never existed has been the truth on earth
    Trying to forget distasteful memories

    An apathetic wonder of the sky
    Every time a desire becomes complex
    Every moment of happiness and sorrow
    It cannot happen again
    An opportunity for the mind
    Incurable wounds of the soul
    Nothing but excellent astonishments
    The water is everywhere, coming from the blue
    Creating a vast ocean of tears and sighs

    An apathetic wonder
    Being busy living within my soul
    Those ancient memories
    From every place of my mind
    Passing along with my own dreams
    The sky is pure and dark
    A lovely gloomy air
    Where I cannot perceive any colour or sound
    During an infinite journey in my subconscious

    An apathetic wonder in a light storm
    Winged like nothing else
    My words fly away
    Toward a remote invisible place
    Where every kind of bliss and pain was dwelling
    Once the sun was gone
    As a gilded sign of merriment
    And red roses were made of silver and gold
    My heart could not beat anymore in delight
    Because my dreams were open doors.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Moping In Solitude

    Moping In Solitude

    Moping in solitude
    Loyalty and pleasure
    And a strange state of daze
    It was neither plain nor fair
    Yet as I sat alone
    A weary heart desiring to go
    So lost at last
    I’m alone in everything
    With dreams made of light
    Before the eternal death
    Suffering the time with faith
    Discovering absurdities and disappointment

    Moping in solitude,
    Every time I woke up
    And it would be a happy day
    I walk around and fancy
    It seems so little the pain I felt
    To think again about how people acted and thought
    The world is up to see an end
    And I’ll see where I am going
    The reason I have the capability to do so
    One moment, of course, would be enough
    Then know not even a day of desire
    All would be easy but disgrace

    Moping in solitude
    Not looking for any doubt
    I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
    I found another smile today from the night
    Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
    Over and over again
    On a pleasant highway
    There was not even one reason to stay
    But the road has gone high,
    And, of course, loneliness
    Where love grew dark
    While seeing smirking faces

    Moping in solitude
    Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
    A decadent comfort
    If the end would come
    Because I always knew what was now
    I shouldn’t care
    But listening to the last image
    That would be very pretty
    And yet it really cannot be known
    Of what kind of things
    I must seem to reach out too far
    Beyond any limit and imagination.

    I might envision my defeat
    Loyal to my dreams
    And always lost in the maze of discomfort
    Always hated but never forgotten
    The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
    I will never conform to others’ will.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Subliminal Paresis Of My Soul

    The Subliminal Paresis Of My Soul

    The subliminal paresis of my soul
    Oblivion is the poesy of mind
    Vanity and treasures are the paroxysms of nullity
    I began to strive for my hopeless dreams
    Without any intention of conquest
    Disconnected from useless inquiry
    Disintegrated is my soul
    Split in multiple fragments
    In a life hanging by a thread
    The hallucinations devastate me
    Falling into a sunken world
    With the purpose of spoiling every hope of mine
    Transforming constantly into some new shape
    Like an amorphous entity

    The subliminal paresis of my soul
    Shrinking in an unloveable world
    I never felt so nonsensical and translucent
    Like the death inside space
    The universe’s beauty is an image of my thoughts and beliefs
    My spiritual visions are a reflection of the dimness of my imagination
    Nothing but the wisdom of emptiness in the eternity
    Without any proper understanding of the occurrences will happen
    In the needlessness of lives
    Many exquisite moments and memories are forgotten forever
    I will become unknown as I never existed
    Forsaken in a mean destiny
    Time continues to fail inquisitively serene
    Rejecting the day’s eternal night

    The subliminal paresis of my soul
    The blinking of the time passing incessantly
    There is no reason I would not suffer indifference
    Though my mind is pure as well as my heart
    I will always mourn the mediocrity of the material objectification
    That should be a secret of mine
    But I will always express myself until I breathe at the very last
    The truth could be the world’s treasure rather than a shameful blame
    Not too smart enough to sugarcoat the horrid and havoc
    At the end of the eternity
    I will never get lost in another’s perspectives
    As I am changeless and immutable in my perpetual unpredictable disposition
    Nothingness and void are my welcomed companions
    In the darkness of the nights
    When the silence hushes my breath, I shut my eyes, sorrowful.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Solemn Silence

    A Solemn Silence

    A solemn silence in a terrific isolation
    An ocean of ice and fire
    An assembly of anguish and vanity
    Sadness and despondency
    Stars and clouds swirl at every blast of the winds
    Being encompassed in darkness
    A tumultuous remembrance leaves me
    listless and silent
    Now in the night
    And still
    I’ve lived a distant life
    Far from me
    When I was alone
    Where no one is so free
    Which might have changed
    Many times
    Years
    Too suddenly as well as never

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Where all around, my thoughts are bound
    Even if there is a sound
    Silent souls sink into a dim and sweet lake
    The sea waves advance like ancient mountains
    Calm and still lingering in the snow
    Many earthly ghouls float in the aether
    My potion of delirium and defeat
    In an incessant struggle with logic and treacherousness
    What could I be able to leave forever
    Wandering in the infinite dispersion of my emotions
    Getting lost and pretending to find myself
    One of the several versions

    A solemn silence in the loneliness
    Travelling and losing the path
    In a labyrinth of shattered mirrors and illusions
    Once the discovery is sparkling with dark hues
    I encounter the truth and dismay
    In the loss of beliefs and resolutions
    On a dark and still night
    When the only noise comes from the wind flying through the leaves
    At the dawn of a longly forgotten place
    The clouds seem suddenly collide and burn
    Through the depths of my heart
    A solitary sky had bled away
    In a thousand years of dread
    Amidst the frozen lights

    A solemn silence of the night
    It is like winter after dusk
    The past had gone far away
    All the seasons will blossom and die
    Before the sun hath gone
    At the end of time
    A dream of spiritual passions
    The secret of vanity
    The mystery of a dream
    Once lost forever
    In the immensity of the void
    When a distant wind blasts
    A new spring of every thought begins
    And a realm of starry glimmers
    Lighting the sunset sky
    Beneath the mountains’ stillness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A terrific and beautiful tempest
    Made of anguishes and broken dreams
    Once they belonged to the realm of quests and stupor
    But interrupted in the very moment of truth and beauty
    To become fragments of a whole nightmare
    In the abyss of ineptitude and betrayal
    I might question the night about my future
    It may come in fanfare sounds and sparkling obscurity
    Obscenity and banality don’t belong to my realm
    Maybe it is the case I change my windows in front of a sarcastic landscape
    Who could enquire what is real?
    So many fragile lies built under the shape of a high castle
    Not visible anymore
    Relying on the benefit of the doubt too many times
    I decided to move to another world
    Obsession for knowledge
    And the dominion of words and imaginary scenarios
    The obliteration of ignominious dreams in the darkness
    Dreaming is like breathing

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A misty veil of rain and storm
    A sublime ecstasy of a soothing slumber
    In an obscure realm of illusions and dismay
    Amidst a very midst of a dim sea
    The sun seems to glare through the gloomy clouds
    Cold darkness in existence with no thoughts or wisdom
    It abides only bliss beyond reality
    In a universe that is getting apart
    Whenever a dream reveals its mysteries from nothing
    The eternity of time is too far from the truth
    And brightness abides among the grey stars in the skies
    Greeting every emotion in vain
    My only place to be is with sorrows
    Which are no longer lies
    My heart became sweet as the snow
    My dark path conducts me to the loneliest room
    With gentle solitude and no comfort or rest
    Once the mystery of each star is disclosed
    A slight wind of fear will blow inside my soul.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Timeless Emptiness

    A Timeless Emptiness

    A timeless emptiness
    Out of vision and fear
    Afternoon and Midnight
    The sun hides in the woods
    Sitting still while listening to the wind through the leaves
    Like a surreal vision
    Words inside of me shine gloomy
    In the unseen world of emotions
    Feelings have a hidden beauty
    Secret and powerful
    Like an icy sea of trees
    A breath thriving into a silent voice
    A perfect sight of unhappiness

    A timeless emptiness
    A sense of being alive and unified
    Like beautiful words scattered in the void
    I’m a part of my own universe
    And I love to make the world feel everything I might grant
    So many times with no fear
    Very dearly with love for creation
    Whenever light grab the truth
    Long moments ago
    With joy and hope
    And a bliss without any delight in mind
    Never realised until love does, it feel like flowers

    A timeless emptiness
    May surely live, that ever was found
    In reality
    Dreams become devoted vows
    Which are made of stained beliefs
    In a heart filled with everything that could become alive and dead
    Remembering all the time to believe and untrust
    An eternity that will cease
    Whenever life is meant to end
    And death becomes true
    Like a nightmare finalised
    Though no reality should be conceded
    In an artwork built from farse and betrayal

    A timeless emptiness
    Like an unquenchable fire
    Burning the soul until its extinction
    In the unawareness of a feeling of unconsciousness
    Understanding that nothing will end but will only transform
    Something too big to be caught
    My thoughts build my life
    With no beginnings and no ends
    My heart is at the edges of the intelligible
    Where there is no shadow and shine
    A reflection of dark feelings and empty senses
    Building a ghost island within the soul
    And I lie senseless in unwavering dismay.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A Frail And Lonely Dismay

    A frail and lonely dismay of the night
    Tinged like a tiny soul of light
    At the edges of the universe
    Waiting for its memorable sight
    Standing alone in a silent deadlock
    The heart that seems so close to being so sad
    There is no way more and our lives and joy
    Never begin what is about never to die
    Love is created as an eternal wisdom

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In silent long-moving years
    Made of pains that cannot be revealed
    Would it be a dream to lose?
    A utopia that the world has never known
    I had looked back in stillness
    The quietness of some tree
    Where all the dreams abound
    And idyll will never cease to succumb
    To the grief and solitude

    A frail and lonely dismay
    I’ll never know who I was
    But only the sadness I feel
    And where are my vestiges
    To be hurled away in the cold blast
    Again and nevermore
    A sudden fear reappears
    Bleeding tears are far as memories
    And now I do not need anymore
    No doubt, once happiness got lost.

    A frail and lonely dismay
    In life, a defeat will never be new
    But I still live embracing habits
    Until love might give strength to convey
    Life comes today in time
    And everything must fade away
    Sweet songs of hope and dismay
    Everything pierces a feeble heart
    Being another daytime like another year

    A frail and lonely dismay
    It should be a phantom
    Descending in the fleeting night
    Twixt its own soul’s delight
    It might drive me too fierce
    As well as it may appear
    Afar
    Like in a vision
    Before it fades again
    Whenever life is at peace with the truth
    So, no longer there would be an end
    As long as every dash would be gone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Echo Of A Broken Dream

    The Echo Of A Broken Dream

    The echo of a broken dream
    Is the sky’s vast light
    Which is rising in winter’s rain
    From the flight of little birds
    A song to drink and dance
    It can be heard faraway
    Thinking about time and failure
    So short life to regret
    Unending and unlimited endeavours for life’s delight
    When dreams come
    What might be lost could be found
    But long is the path of mistakes and struggles
    Never well-known enough to prevent distress and anguish
    In sleepless nights something and nothing has been revealed
    It always began the creation
    Destroying and creating
    By chance and love
    Like no more devotion would be granted like before
    Each thought of desire would be loyal and engraved
    Reading the infinite source of darkness
    And still enjoying every strive and pang
    In the hope of living inside an untamed soul
    Never like before
    It would become a gloomy and arduous heart

    The echo of a broken dream
    The sea of darkness is blasting
    Now that the night has come
    Harkening to the wind
    Whenever the wildness of the sea is fearless and indomitable
    The fallen souls have drifted into a slumber time
    Sighing along the cliff of the abyss
    Never seen to this day what it might not be quested
    A beautiful forsaken tale would be a lavish obscure dream
    A wonder and a marvel
    Sunken down into a remote universe
    Since the eternity
    It has always been there for me
    And always will be
    With no guesses or questions about life
    I fell down into the chasm of the time
    When it is believed to cast away the darkness and shadows
    With the loss of eternity
    Whilst everything was bound together inside a hidden and blissful oasis
    Every kind of dream was being offered like some joyful lie
    Sweet like poison and bitter like truth
    Like those revelations that will never be disclosed
    And desires would be offered as secret snares

    The echo of a broken dream
    Which lived forever in the abysm of the sea
    And was made of divine light
    New eternal dimensions are recreated
    The vision of a single and lonely night
    The world would start all over again and again
    Until all the clouds of darkness would end
    And the wonders of harmony and hymns would be created
    The world’s clout will last forever
    Truly and devotedly
    Days depart and perish
    Every longing will convey a new route of deception and authenticity
    Change delivers wisdom in the everlastingness
    When only one new lifetime is allowed to become true
    Love is death, love is untamed, love is betrayal, and love is life
    Being trapped in a new belief
    Acting to set free every uncoveted desire inside the soul
    And wishing to find a place in the universe
    If everything could materialise in an abode with faithful devotion
    There would be only bliss and an ever-lasting delight in life
    Certitude and suspicion could obliterate each other
    Probity and passion would be devoted eternally

    The echo of a broken dream
    Stalled so perfectly in my mind and once more disappeared
    As forgotten for ages
    Such a feeling of authentic dismay
    I disclosed the evening
    Lingering for darkness and nightmares
    A soft touch of sharp thorns
    Although pain and tears could flood my heart
    So many times
    I have been destined
    And magnificence would be a journey of delight and bliss
    Nothing else
    After my soul wandered lost in torment and misery
    With no more passion
    Dreaming that in a swoon
    My heart would always glow
    Not at all because of pleasure
    But striving to return to its primordial harmony.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Unique And Infinite Shadow Of My Mind

    The Unique And Infinite Shadow Of My Mind

    The unique and infinite shadow of my mind
    Whilst the beauty is flowing in my dreams
    Someday I loved every single thing in each season
    Of which, like this, in this moment.
    For a while, my thoughts have lost all beauty
    As are still one more time so lovely to the beholder
    I love so much to be happy with beautiful visions
    As ideas and words are always to be heard
    Love,
    It might be only a delightful and phantasmagorical
    Nothing can go through my mind before night
    Every day is a picture of the love for my life
    And at first, every metamorphosis should be discovered in a marvel
    At the edges of time
    In the Universe, every tremendous conquest is a journey bound to eternity
    A year becomes a month, a month a day and a day an hour

    The unique and infinite shadow of my mind
    Feeling the utopia while nightmares resurface
    Where I become my own muse with magical powers
    To transform my life, my soul and my endless visions
    Every night I surrender to the tides of oblivion and silence
    Everything is in deep slumber because the storm cannot appear
    Trying to build a mere idea that cannot be found
    Daring to live pretending that everything is love
    When wishes would embrace being born in an idyllic world
    In a manifestation of life and death
    Once all the hopes disappear in an obscene dismal
    Some lives after existence resurface in an eternal bliss
    Lasting forever
    For love only grasp some hearts
    Every free thought enjoys only a limited dash

    The unique and infinite shadow of my mind is nature
    I see the wonder and the worlds in the firmament
    Being the Universe an outstanding creation made of beauty and mystery,
    darkness and light, endless unknown and limited knowledge
    An ancient mystery without days and nights
    My heart discovered poetry in my dreams
    Loving, day by day
    The facade had faded, and names I knew became obscure
    A noteworthy moment in life
    When dates are removed from the time
    And just the shadows are heard, and the day evolves into death
    The time departed from life
    A newly created fantasy left the mind without delight
    Fighting the loss and death
    Although everything became written
    Not a single certitude is destined to return
    And it lies in the profundity of despair and thoughtlessness
    The blades of my thoughts cut my soul into pieces
    And bleeding, I stand helpless.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Trapped In A Deafening Silence

    Trapped In A Deafening Silence

    Trapped in a deafening silence
    The night is already gone,
    Once everything that once had been in the past
    Has been sealed;
    I was asleep, and I stood alone,
    Each day, it might be gone.
    The rain will begin again.
    Scripted, it seems, but then inside me
    All my heart is asleep,
    Forever again alone,
    Never even one day into its life
    Being forgotten.
    A dream…
    But nothing ever heard.
    Trapped in a deafening silence of the wind.
    When everything goes in the aether…
    I am coming up into the darkness.
    Leaving everything behind me
    Where nothing is the same anymore.
    As I am dreaming the sunlight at night
    I wanted to escape
    Like walking in darkness,
    Towards my solitude
    Never coming back,
    I would be gone.
    Trapped in a deafening silence.
    There is no time for finding a place to live,
    A lasting peace of mind and bliss.
    Just wonder how little of the universe is known,
    One will still wish for the end.
    Trapped in a deafening silence
    Only the sound of the emptiness
    And never being aware that it doesn’t exist
    A far better fate than it is
    And what life was able to alter the course of happening
    At any time, there’s a way
    Certainly, a mental tragedy
    Over the world of itself
    It is way too far.
    With nowhere to go when you can realize,
    it has been impossible as I could
    I am in another world in the end.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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