Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: Inner Journey

  • Time Slipped Like Sand

    Time Slipped Like Sand

    Time slipped like sand in the ocean
    Silence amplified my thoughts
    I got lost
    Wandering endlessly in a quest for forgetfulness and balderdash
    Since the day I surrendered to chaos and oddities
    I’ve never realised the intention of my fate
    Without any concern about my purposes

    Whenever I looked at the sky there was always something missing inside my heart
    Maybe it was
    Perhaps it was not
    Or would I have been destined to oblivion?
    Confused while I was tasting the bitter nectar of awareness
    I didn’t pay any attention to my pathway

    That I was lost I knew not
    All I could perceive was the sight of a crimson aura all around me and a prosperous garden of splendid crimson roses
    Ravens and crows were flying all around me together with magnificent butterflies

    Time slipped like sand
    And there was no mirror where I could see an image of myself
    It was like my countenance was invisible to every silver surface
    Nonetheless, my real delight relied on the trepidation of my slumber
    During which I strove to touch the stars while I was vexed by the gloomy clouds

    Abruptly the mysterious songs of nocturnal birds woke me up
    Did I know where I was?
    I believe not and it didn’t even matter to me
    The foremost commodity was that the time slipped like sand in the emptiness
    I had forgotten the voices of anthropoids and their shadows didn’t bother me anymore
    Fortunately for me

    I was fortunate to discover that I had got lost in the wilderness of my dreams
    Indeed, I didn’t need to follow any path any longer
    For I was now more than ever unburdened from both my past and my future
    The candles of expectation had gone out
    The sparkles of desires and love had been swallowed by the night that whispered my name no more.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Wandering In Oblivion

    Wandering In Oblivion

    Wandering in oblivion with the certitude in my heart that I belonged more to my afflictions than to my desires
    I knew not where my fate was taking me
    The only inevitability I couldn’t avoid was my obsessive quest to follow my dreams
    My fantastic world was all I demanded so impulsively
    And that everlasting flame was glowing intensely into my heart

    I felt betrayed by the time and all the previous events that dragged me into the pit of anguish
    It was real as much as I was breathing, and I couldn’t prevent being overwhelmed
    A huge imaginary mountain was on my chest, for I didn’t realise I had brought such huge exhaustion over and over again for a considerable time, too many times
    Lost and deluded, I chose seclusion as a way to bear that overflowing burden

    So far I wandered that I got lost in mazes and forests, for I was seeking pursuits and chances
    Even though I knew there was no compass guiding me in the infinite darkness of the nights I spent in dizziness and confusion
    Bitter was the dismay that distressed my heart in the loneliest journey of my existence
    Whenever I searched for comfort, I only found sparse, few and far-between hopes for a spark of delight

    The sunlight became bright and dark, creating shadows all over my path, while the moon advanced with pride as the queen of the long nights when my slumber was trembling with fear of the unknown. At last, I could hear the silence whispering presages and tales. Hence, there I was, lonely in my frailty and chaos, never ready for new adventures whilst wandering in oblivion and suspense. I had forgotten all my bygone remembrances as well as my name and my most cherished dreams.

    As long as the moon shone alongside the stars, I could make wishes that shattered at the mountain’s peak. But all fell silent, and I remained in my castle, admiring the splendid panorama before me.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • A Spectacular Mirage

    A Spectacular Mirage

    A spectacular mirage manifested before my eyes in a torrid night of discomforts
    Everywhere there was a scalding haze made of phantomatic dreams and delighting chimaeras
    Never a doubt caught me while a storm of nightmares was brewing over the night sky
    And everything was just darkness and infinity

    I only needed to lose myself to discover my real self
    So many times I have climbed insurmountable heights to realise that I had metamorphosed into something totally different
    Like an ethereal shape that would change incessantly without abeyance
    Each time desiring something new

    The different windows of my life had shut and opened
    Disclosing a multitude of scenarios and dreamland
    The sun had conquered me while the moon hid viciously behind a blanket of spectacular stars
    Majestic dreams had always overwhelmed my heart, and I found myself in an ocean of tears and anguish

    Wandering into the forest of bliss and delight
    I had lost myself permanently
    As if I were unable to think and keep sparkles of wisdom in my treasure chest
    Everything was darkness
    Nothing was translucent
    No aid would have reached me in that mayhem
    Every part of my body and heart could feel the great tragedy of existence

    Dreaming of isles and oceans where nothing had sense
    Nor even desiring
    I could feel myself flimsy like a tiny flower carried away by the winds
    At the mercy of the winds and raging storms
    I wandered in confusion, traversing kingdoms and labyrinths
    In a way, I was detached from my longings, and I was eager to embrace new realms and visions

    A spectacular mirage awaited me beyond the shadows of the night sky
    As an enchantment ready to cast a mysterious spell over me
    Not taking care of any concern, I resigned myself to my fate.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Fantasising In The Realm Of The Night

    Fantasising In The Realm Of The Night

    Fantasising in the realm of the night
    Lost in my obliviousness
    Bound to my dreams
    I discovered lost memories kept far away from my heart
    For I was wandering in the inaccessible kingdom of the invisible
    Where only dreams and chimaeras could be tangible

    I had lost the keys to the portal of fear
    And I was facing my delusional quest with no destination
    Cast away from society, I lived in solitude and silence
    No words could have been used to depict my inner world
    Too many times I saw faces without a soul
    For myriad seasons, I spent questioning my fate

    I never found an answer to each of my questions
    It seemed the stars were enjoying lying to me
    Or maybe it was the treacherous night sky with its copious gloomy clouds that interfered
    I knew not
    And I will never know
    Since the first day of my bleak existence
    Dismay was my inner core
    Like a rose thorn, always present in my heart

    No tumultuous storm or hectic wind could have disrupted that unheavenly stillness
    For I was firmly convinced that I could not alter my endless state of invisibility
    Dazed and confused as I was
    I didn’t count the hours anymore
    Time didn’t exist in my kingdom of imagination
    Whenever I was fantasising in the realm of the night

    No flower of my dim garden could ever have resisted a secret eclipse
    Nor could I refuse to live with those illusions that were mesmerising my heart
    Lonely and flimsy was the star dwelling in my soul
    The nocturnal birds greeted me as always
    For they were my chaotic followers of the darkness
    In my journeys through inaccessible forests and forsook meadows
    Seeking the ocean waves and the thunder in the tempestuous dusks of the wilderness
    To lose and find all the versions of myself
    In an infinite expedition to nowhere
    Forever
    Never ceasing to fantasise in the realm of the night.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Magic Beneath Her Smile

    The Magic Beneath Her Smile

    The magic beneath her smile
    In a hush of varnished sight
    Her gaze held mine
    She was not senseless
    She was enigmatic
    A timeless masterpiece
    An eternal and sublime beauty
    As if she knew everything about me
    And all that I hadn’t yet dared to live

    Seventeen-seventeen was the arcane message
    She whispered to me in the gallery aura
    Like a cypher and a vow
    A painting is much more than a mirror
    It is the reflection of a soul into a thin surface of eternity

    The time became nineteen-nineteen
    Like wings folding back into the surface of my body
    An unlived existence was rising up from between my heart
    And it was not a fairytale or a legend
    But a secret signal and a door to another world

    Surreal fantasies became my realm
    And there I lingered silent and astonished
    Immobile like a sphinx with staring eyes
    Futile as I felt like the moments of bliss I lived in that magic kingdom of beauty and eternity
    An exquisite world where my heart beat again joyfully

    Vanity and ephemeral dreams took me to mysterious places
    Where I discovered new oddities and ancient secrets
    I wouldn’t be able to understand which spell had been cast on me
    I only knew I couldn’t resist the captivating labyrinth of arts

    The magic beneath her smile concealed arcane mysteries
    It wasn’t a prosaic artwork but a divine splendour
    Dressed in centuries of varnish
    Hid behind a shining crystal
    Surrounded by fragments of timeless magnificence.
    Elisabetta

  • My Illusions

    My Illusions

    My illusions concealed the bright stars and the moon. I was sure that I couldn’t rely totally on my perceptions and conceptions of life and dreams. I didn’t know anything, but the only thing I could do was cry in my loneliness on a long night when no stars and no moon were visible to my eyes. All my memories were hanging in my mind like paintings. They were like thunders during a night storm in the ocean whose foundation was made of nightmares and suspiciousness.

    Beneath the shadows of hollow trees, I found my dwelling to rest free from the clouds of anxiety and distress. No glooms of sadness could prevent me from looking at the night sky. Maybe it was just a dream, but I couldn’t avoid staring at the dark and starless firmament. I dared to question my senses, but all that I could obtain was confusion and dizziness. In a realm where everything seemed absurd, odd, and meaningless, I strove to find a sense in my ephemeral existence.

    I had ceased to comprehend what was truth and what was deception. The night with its frightful shadows and wraiths, became my loyal companion, so sweet and lovely. No one could ever separate us, not even for an instant. The magic wisdom of the gift of madness was so sublime and exquisite. Unique was the foolishness of my silent heart. Invisible and abandoned in the quest for my fate, I explored labyrinths and mangroves in the wilderness of my imagination.

    My illusions deceived me repetitively, as I attempted to sugarcoat my lonely desolation, deprived as I was of every solace and comfort. I saw the dirty squalor being put on the sacred altar of devotion and veneration. Mortal souls preferred profanities and obscenities to sublimity, beauty and virtue. The world of mortals was shamefully collapsing in front of my eyes and I preferred to shut myself down in my boundless dungeon of illusions, nightmares, dreams and hallucinations. To never be back to that false and tainted world.
    Elisabetta

  • Mirrors And Delusions

    Mirrors And Delusions

    Mirrors and delusions surrounded me as I wandered through a labyrinth carved from my own expectations. Each hidden niche kept a secret, and each silent sigh was a vow that dissolved in the emptiness. I strived to hold distant glimpses I could never keep, and the more I yearned, the taller the walls grew.

    Wildflowers whispered legends about betrayal and wickedness. Sadness teardrops fell over me like jet ink, leaving trails of darkness on my uncertain way. Clouds of gloom and sorrow met in the sky, feasting on the ephemeral sense of existence. My silence was my words. I had no needs or ambitions to fulfil any more because my ego was obliterated.

    Hence, it began my passage into the liminal state. My distorted reflection in the mirrors could have been the fruit of my hallucinations or the effective image of myself. Everything could have betrayed me, even myself. There was no longer a sun in the firmament of this realm of lugubrious descent. Where fallacy and degradation ruled.

    Polished crystals shone their glimmer, not to guide, but to deceive as each light was just a false oath, drawing me deeper into the hollow abyss of this maze of madness. Lonely I was never since shadows and ghosts accompanied me whenever I would wander. Their countenances were dreary and appalling.

    Mirrors and delusions hid my truth and plundered my heart of innocence and hope. They filled my route with deceit and cruel traps. I had become invisible and voiceless in their dungeon of decadence and death. I had to surrender to their power and supremacy. I wouldn’t consider myself a wisdom keeper since my insanity grew like a flower among tombstones.

    No more farewell to my dreams, for they no longer belonged to me, but to the nothingness that now bore my name.
    Elisabetta

  • In My Fainted Dreams

    In My Fainted Dreams

    In my fainted dreams made of smoke and spells, I saw my image reflected in the mirror of death. It seemed as if I were a dead shadow made of illusions. My slumber bound me to chains of darkness, and I couldn’t escape from my dungeon of despair.

    In my non-existence, the quietness numbed me with a spell of sorrow. I was born to die alone, in scorn and desolation. My residence was made of teardrops and blood. I wished I could have kept my dreams in my treasure chest, but every time I tried, they would vanish.

    Hence, I began to pretend that I didn’t need to desire or dream. I could have achieved everything I wanted if only my fate could allow me to do it. Nevertheless, solace and bliss were forbidden castles to my decrepit presence, and I could only find myself in an endless requiem.

    Lies were birds of freedom for my heart, and I slumbered as a way of searching for myself. Indeed, I received an invitation from the realm of nothingness, under whose influence my main achievement was only destruction and decay. I was becoming a candle castle collapsing under the tension of an impetuous and merciless wind.

    My past memories were little daggers puncturing my heart incessantly without any compassion. Maybe it was all an endless nightmare conspiring against me but the vivid remembrances were slowly annihilating me each instant of my non-life.

    In my fainted dreams, I lived in grief surrounded by the shadows of my past self. I was not afraid to suffer and mourn days and nights. Time didn’t matter anymore because there was no metamorphosis in me. I perpetually wept like a statue in a cemetery.

    Death and nightmares were all that remained as gifts of the underworld. I surrendered to a quiet acceptance of my irreversible demise. I ceased to dream, embracing my everlasting lamentation. I was fading like incense through a sinister wind.
    Elisabetta

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