A shallow melancholy caught me in the labyrinth of torment and insomnia. My heart was pierced and disheartened by senseless whirlwinds of despair and anguish. I didn’t know where I was headed, but I could only feel a tremendous intimidation inside myself. A vast, gloomy shadow couldn’t allow me to see beyond the horizon. I had no destination, and it seemed that I had no free choice to escape from that doomed fate of mine. The haze was so dense, and the night was so dark that I couldn’t find any portal to allow me to leave. I screamed to the stars, but they refused to listen to my voice, and I was cast away from their gaze for eternity. The everlasting darkness granted me the utmost agony, and sorrow lulled me to a deadly slumber. So much I cherished my dreams, nevertheless, they vanished into the ashes of decay. Solitude and loneliness had spellbound me with their sombre and mournful enchantment. In a mystic aura, I was viscously bound to a magical realm of lost spirits and wicked wraiths, which whispered their laments to my ears. I knew not who I had become and what my name was. So much confused and chaotic was the state of my heart that it sank deeply into the abyss of devastation. I fell into ecstasy and bliss, enjoying my obliteration and every cut inflicted upon my body. Wounded and frantic, I shed tears of pleasure and delight. My sobs and sighs broke the solemn silence that was my most loyal companion in that kingdom of death and mortification. Frenzy squished me, and madness shattered my heart. I embraced the bitter emptiness, hovering like an ethereal creature in search of witchy dungeons and secret forests. And there were no beginnings nor ends in the domain of the shallow melancholy. I remained suspended from ropes, which led me into my perpetual descent. And I lay there, claimed by the hereafter.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: Liminal spaces
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A Shallow Melancholy
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In The Frosted Rose Garden Of Madness
In the frosted rose garden of madness, a place of bliss and delight, prospered in secrecy. Thorns and petals intertwined in a lethal union, merging like sweet poison in the twilight. Snowflakes were falling over me like soft caresses sent by the luminaries. Clouds were numbing me with their alluring charm, casting bad memories away from my mind.
Everything seemed perfect and deformed. What appeared to be real was just an illusion, and I fed my soul with delusions and glimmering lies. While the flickering of the candlelight created constantly bizarre drawings of shadows on the walls, made of bricks and bones. The wind hushed me, for me to pay attention to some revelation I was supposed to hear.
The frosted rose garden of madness was my hidden haven of lunacy and spices. Every kind of rose would blossom in it, surrounded by thorns and arrows. The exquisite magnificence of the view contrasted with the scent of death, which was hovering over it like a wraith from the underworld. My madness was the artifice of my descent to a vortex of frenzies and obsessions.
Storms inside my heart besieged my boldness, and I surrendered to them. Undoubtedly, I was bold enough to face my obliteration, but not enough to accept my ineptitude. Lores and legends guided me on a perilous path of oblivion. Thorns and pins pierced my heart as I embraced folly and turmoil.
I wish I could help myself in this labyrinth of passions and longings. Nonetheless, I was lost permanently in the realm of nowhere and absurdity, where everything could have been granted in every conceivable manner, in darkness and light. The colder I felt, the more the dwelling around me dissolved in a haunting haze of derealization.
Shadows sighed in despair, and infinity bled into nothingness. Gloomy shades invited me to hush, sealing my lips with crimson sealing wax. My freedom had been traded for eternal doom and toxic chains. I didn’t recognise my frosted rose garden of madness any longer, because it came to be a forsaken ravine.
Indisputably, I had lost the purpose of enduring my burdensome existence. Even the trees and flowers refused to make my acquaintance. I was cast away in the kingdom of desolation and balderdash. I forfeited my voice, and my screams carved words of dismay in my heart.
I was mesmerised by stupor and dizziness as I crossed the portal to utopias and idylls. I had entered an everlasting dream, where I was ethereal and fragile like a rose tormented by blizzards. In solitude, my collapse epitomised the shattering of my dreams, which disintegrated into ashes and frosty flakes.
In the frosted rose garden of madness, I fell into a deadly slumber listening to the sound of a deafening silence. I could envision my fantasies as tainted desires of love and death. Caressing brambles and hibernated roses, I vanished into the marvellous dark mist of the night as if I had never existed. I became darkness and light. I became ice and fire.
Elisabetta Esther -
Beneath The Light Of A Candle
Beneath the light of a candle
I hid all my sorrows
My crying out loud was the epitome of my shadows
Lying on the wooden soil of my dark chamber
I could listen to the delightful sound of blood drops
My heart had been pierced in myriad moments
And I could see him nailed to a rusty nail
Painting the wallpaper with crimson hues
The scent of dragon’s blood incense enveloped me in a thick cloud
I could allow myself to follow my foolish illusions
They have always kept me on the verge of madness
A relentless turmoil would have emptied me endlessly
Dismembering my soul and tearing it to shreds
I had fallen victim to my own tragedy
Even though I have eluded the weight of grief
All the most beautiful blossoms of my garden had withered
Flowered meadows transformed into a hollow valley of tears and blood
I had lost all my dearest treasures and a spell was cast over my insane fate
Crimson and dark shadows were confining me in my infernal dwelling
Haunted by dark memories and atrocious obsessions
Where I couldn’t find a sparkle of love and hope
I might have been allowed to see my relentless grave
There she stood so magnificent and exquisite
A monument to my witlessness and insanity
Beneath the light of a candle
I had perished anonymously
Only glooms and clouds were grieving for me
Under a sky made of glass and pearls
At the dead of night
When chimaeras and ghouls gathered
As soon as the moon invoked them
Hence I had become a creature of the otherworld
A realm of perpetual twilight and wilted leaves
Where wisdom had forever been obliterated
And silence sealed the portal to mortal sight.
Elisabetta Esther -
Twilight Shadows
Twilight shadows have haunted me since ages past,
granting me no peace, clutching at my heart,
seeking to offer it to their jagged, divine limbs.
Born free, I became a slave—
In a prison whose bars and chains
were unbreakable and unseen,
visible only to me,
As I perished day by day,
destroying every single one of my dreams.Their song had hypnotised and enchanted me, initially.
Then it became a funeral symphony, a mournful song,
which followed me everywhere and gave me no peace.
Although I sought refuge, tried to seek refuge,
in the most hidden hiding places of my imagination,
these spirits of the realm of shadows and torments pursued me everywhere.In enchantment and in fright, I found myself in a labyrinth of confusion and madness,
where reality was hallucination and illusions were reality.
I could no longer discern what my will truly desired.
I could no longer understand whether my madness was my salvation
or my wisdom was a source of death and oblivion.Fear and anguish had pierced my heart, which was now torn apart and could no longer hold any hope, any pleasure;
And so my body was covered with marks and symbols carved into my skin like arcane and profane signs,
sometimes mystic and sometimes sacred.And suddenly I found myself in a dark room of mirrors and shards that wounded me everywhere and tore my garment.
So battered, I went on, trying to find a way out. Still, in fact, the more I proceeded, the deeper I ventured into the labyrinth of a world that did not belong to me,
but demanded me and wanted my soul and my heart, even my remains as a deceased.Twilight shadows had become my only destiny, imperishable, unyielding and cruel,
from which it was impossible to escape.
I belonged to them like a helpless and powerless creature,
without hope of ever having a future of light and beauty.
Elisabetta