Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: lost dreams

  • Buried Memories

    Buried Memories

    Buried memories unearthed in my subconscious during my journeys of lost and unknown dreams in places and times unknown to me and of which I perceived only fragments of memory that I kept to myself.

    Joys and sorrows dwelled in my heart, which knew no peace, and was constantly pierced by anguish and anxiety, as well as sorrowful memories full of resentment and regrets.

    I woke up with the anguish of memories and the worries that clung to me like invisible chains.
    And the clock struck ten past ten,
    It seemed as though the bells had rung,
    And the stillness around me revealed
    How my anxieties and anguish were fleeting realities,
    And though heavy, they could vanish into nothingness.

    The sadness—or melancholy, as it may be defined by words—was like an endless abyss within my heart, and it was that very sadness which had carved deep wounds that continued to bleed and had never healed. Time, in the end, had not fulfilled its duty, and the oblivion of my pains and sufferings had not completed its task.

    Lying in an inhospitable and unknown cemetery, I found myself in my solitude and in the most deafening silence.
    The crimson mist hovered around like a spirit both present and dominant within that mysterious and twilight aura.

    I felt how anguish mingled with my fears, as if, despite having lost everything, I would… I had doubted whether to descend further into the abyss of despair.

    And as the wind enveloped me in its coldness and its silent softness, so, in the very same moment, it was as though I had found myself in a new reality, a new realm, unfamiliar to me.

    If I were to find myself in the realm of lost, recovered, buried and unearthed memories, I would not know it—nor shall I ever—for my visions were like hallucinations, as if all of it were born of my own fantasies, my nocturnal nightmares, and my waking daydreams.
    Elisabetta

  • Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked up in my fantasies
    Aware of my unawareness
    Softly indulging in my pleasant decay
    Falling into the trap of loneliness
    In an existence deprived of love and delight
    My desires and fantasies became the only salvation

    I knew not how long I’d been locked up in my realm
    Lovely dreams visited my feeble slumber
    On the silent nights, protected by the shadows of ghosts
    Waiting for some fallen luminary to glimmer sparkles toward me
    I lingered through eternity
    In the darkness of my mind

    Confused and dismayed I wandered in my loneliness
    Starving delight and merriment
    As I was doomed to a cruel and infamous fate
    Nothing I could have accomplished to change the course of occurrences
    I was chained to a sinking boat
    While hearing the screams of spirits haunting me

    Until my very last day of existence
    The infamous tyranny to which I had been enslaved, had disposed of my life
    My heart was crumbled to dust of decay
    My body was the representation of dread and abuse
    Time was not anymore the master of my life
    As I became part of the realm of the dead

    The sun no longer shone upon me
    Instead, the tempestuous clouds obscured all the stars
    Leaving me sightless for the deep obscurity of the night
    I was not anymore aware of my lugubre surroundings
    Trapped within my own nightmares
    Disregarded by the world outside

    I floated into an endless silence
    Each gust was a sigh fading in the void
    I sought fragments of my sparkling and fleeting dreams
    Where once there was love, now only shadows had remained
    My mind had become a labyrinth of dead fantasies
    I stumbled through the graveyard of shadows

    Chasing glimmers of elation I could never grasp
    As each vision slipped away like grains of sand
    The cold embrace of solitude came to be my only companion
    While I longed for the glimmer of a flame that would never ignite
    The wicked claws of my destiny held me captive
    Tugging at the fabric of my fragile hope

    I still lingered in the darkest of prisons
    Where even the faintest flicker of rebellion was obliterated
    In the end, I was nothing but a fading star
    Falling from the sky of my own illusions
    To be swallowed entirely by the noiseless abyss of darkness
    I was locked up in my fantasies, made of void and oblivion
    Where my dreams dissolved into nothingness.
    Elisabetta

  • The Gaze Of My Heart

    The Gaze Of My Heart

    The gaze of my heart follows passions
    Like a moth entranced by the moon’s wicked glow
    Hovering through the realms of fire and shadow
    Where longings bloom in silent anguish

    It ignores wisdom, and it doesn’t fear any abyss
    Drawn to forbidden dreams and extravagant art
    My heart gleams at the verge of madness
    And it sculpts sorrow into an artwork of dark

    Through secret passageways of velvet dusk
    Where dreams entwine with heartbreaking sighs
    The gaze of my heart will never falter
    Even when a desire bleeds and dies

    Striving to forget the bruises of love and devotion
    Still, my heart never ceases to beat
    Even amid the wildest storm of life
    It bleeds but rises from the ashes of sorrow

    My heart drifts through shadows, refusing to break
    Carrying the weight of memories yet still seeking passion
    Bound by the chains of the past, yearning only to fly
    My heart weeps beneath the moon, longing for release

    Nonetheless, the night holds me captive
    I became a prisoner of grief and anguish
    And each tear of mine is a dream lost in the cold and silent air
    As I seek consolation and solace that I cannot find

    I reach through the darkness, yearning to touch the stars
    But they gleam and vanish in the infinite sky
    While the night conceals its secrets, shrouded in despair
    Like the fleeting touch of a dream that never could become tangible

    A gelid breeze of illusions hits me
    Whispering me only cruel and fleeting promises
    Trying to chase them, I end up in the emptiness
    My endless pursuit is a vacant seizure

    My heart becomes a frail ship adrift in an ocean of delusions
    Trembling at each dark shadow towering over it like a giant wave
    I search for meaningful signs in the endless nights
    Although the stars don’t gleam anymore for me

    In this abyss of sorrow, I remain
    Finding no rest
    The gaze of my heart loses its sight
    And the echo of my distressed soul is suppressed for eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • Nonsense In The Evening

    Nonsense In The Evening

    Nonsense in the evening
    Sad and apathetic, I abandoned myself to nonsense
    As I was supposed to be someone with no state of mind
    Indeed, I had no aims or plans

    I felt like a dead leaf falling from a tree
    I felt like a pinwheel that spins empty under the influence of the wind
    Was I supposed to feel something other than discontent?
    It might be as I was listening to the birds singing in the tree

    And so the evening passed like the flowing of a quiet river
    Unperturbed by what was around me
    Because the abyss of anguish was enticing me
    Trapping me in a dungeon of sorrow and dismay
    As I had the certitude that there was no hope for me

    Dreaming and deluding myself has always dragged me into a labyrinth of darkness and decay
    A storm of turmoil invested me
    Leaving me astray
    Faraway from any horizon of sanity

    Emptiness became my realm of fancy
    Although I have always aspired to belong to a different kingdom
    Where the dust of stars would fall over me
    Enlighting me with their comforting and candid glow

    The towering and outstanding sight of my nightmares was hypnotising me
    And I could not avoid to flee from them
    As they cast a wicked spell on me
    To eternally suffer from all the most ominous hoaxes

    Shuttered windows were in front of me
    The windows to my dreams and desires were cruelly sealed
    Nonsense in the evening was my special date
    No stars were present in my nocturnal sky
    No moon was there to wait for me

    All my sparkling wishes faded into the infinite decadence
    Because I belonged only to decadence and I longed to be surrounded by dust of decay
    The decay of my wisdom and certainty was the only certitude I cherished in my treasure chest
    And all that could remain in my heart was nonsense in the evening of my day.
    Elisabetta

  • A Long Night of Desires

    A Long Night of Desires

    A long night of desires and regrets beneath the infinite darkness of the firmament disclosed many dreams and secrets.

    And for each memory, a terrible ghost of the past appeared under the shape of an ominous shadow whose silent scream shattered every flower to dust.

    A fearless storm surrounded the night with its thunders and gloomy clouds, obliterating every trace of beauty from the realm of dreams and darkness.

    Giving way to nothingness and void that swallowed everything with an eerie fury.
    All that remained was a desert with scattered fragments of emotions and love.

    The moonlight lit flames of longing and despair, glinting like shattered glass, trembling with soft murmurs.

    Every blossom of the garden of distress flowered into a withered bloom, and each petal fell like a sour teardrop, dissolving into the sand.

    The inextinguishable emptiness exhaled its yearning across the barren universe, and its absolute silence swelled louder than the storm’s wildest cry.

    Hopes dissolved into the blank abyss like a river of lost dreams flowing to nowhere while love’s faint flames glinted, swallowed by the surreal dimness.

    Into the maze of sorrow, the eternal night became infinite and relentless, with its secrets buried beneath waves of grief.

    Glooms and clouds depleted all the frail remnants of light and joy, replacing them with immense anguish and decay.

    The long night of desires became an endless night of regrets when nightmares swirled around the world like haunting ghouls, tormenting every slumber.

    The infinite abyss of darkness extinguished everything, enclosing every faded memory of a realm once alive and now barely reduced to fragments of despair.

    A wailing blizzard agonised the desert of despair, dragging all the fragments of forgotten dreams and scattering the ashes of love that once burned radiant.

    The stars above, veiled by eternal dismay, became hollow gazes observing the doomed ruins below, becoming witnesses to a tale of a long night of desires devoured by the infinite chasm of oblivion.

    The firmament extended its icy and infinite arms, claiming all and leaving nothing but an absolute silence resounding as a boundless and eternal requiem for dead dreams.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Abyss of Oppression

    The Abyss of Oppression

    The abyss of oppression was a realm of shadows and fear where hope decayed,
    And a silent grip began its play, winding in a dark embrace,
    And pulling everything into a hollow alcove.

    In haunted kingdoms, gloomy clouds distressed tranquillity,
    The poundage of insanity was so cruel and cold,
    That no hope dared to hold dreams and expectations anymore,
    While sinking in the deep and poisoned blight of fear.

    Starlight grew frail like a fragile gem,
    In an eerie aura that stained the sky dead,
    Beneath, where the sun had lost its way,
    Where longings lay cast but ghostly grey.

    In dismay, sorrow spoke aloud under the oppression’s grasp in endless nights,
    When despair rose to heights unknown,
    And fragile desires trembled in the invisible void,
    The weight of loss bore down, relentless, keen,
    As the oblivion feasted on the faint heart’s prayer.

    In that desolate realm where no light could endure,
    And where silence was torn by unheard wails,
    Weary hearts, caught in iron chains,
    Clung to fragments of memories grown pale.

    The skies collapsed like a suffocating veil,
    Where chimaeras, once shining, dissolved to dust and ash,
    And all that remained was a forlorn lament,
    As the abyss of oppression drew down in a final crash.

    The chasm of illusions swallowed every expectation,
    Leaving but a decayed vestige of misery and distress.
    Every gleam of promise faded into hollow whispers of betrayal,
    While enchanting raindrops soaked every dream in a sorrowful mire.

    In the shadows, spells enticed those solitary dreamers into fractured and senseless ravines of despair,
    Trapping them for eternity.
    Darkness claimed the last faint gleam,
    And despair surged forth like a relentless stream.

    In this realm of night, the shadows reigned supreme,
    Binding dreams in chains, silencing the soul’s scream.
    The abyss of oppression annihilated every mirth and delight, beauty and magnificence,
    Leaving a kingdom of chaos and insignificance.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Ravine of Fire

    The Ravine of Fire

    The ravine of fire was a delightful realm of vexation,
    Where flames writhed, ablaze in fervent contemplation.
    Ashes floated like black petals fallen by lost desires,
    Feeding the fire, stoking ancient pyres of lust.

    Ghouls danced in ephemeral flames, wreathed in smoky lace,
    Their countenances twisted a mournful, silent grace.
    Each blazing ember of passion pulsed, a heartbeat in the dark,
    Casting crimson secrets, leaving magical glimmers.

    Old iniquities were set alight by every blaze of obscenities,
    And remembrances were distorted in this feverish feast.
    Grief and sorrow strived to obliterate every dream within this ravine of fire,
    While a haunting dirge carried on the sulfurous breeze.

    Rivers of flame crawled deep through the earth’s cracked veins,
    Licking at scars with lust, basking in charred remnants.
    Beneath the molten tides lay arcane legends lastingly kept,
    Where invisible despair and forfeited fantasies slumbered.

    Bones of a remote past were forged anew,
    Burning bright but hidden from mortal view.
    In this seething realm, regret found its roots,
    In the eternal embrace of a fiery death.

    The sky above, a shroud of sullen grey,
    Held back the dawn, denying night’s decay.
    Time was a prisoner to the ravine’s cruel jest,
    An endless descent into a smouldering rest.

    In the abyss of fire, only darkness and obsession,
    Hope was obliterated, and shadows dictated their decrees.
    A kingdom where the gloomy sky was untouched by morning skies,
    And the stars were extinguished forever.

    The ravine of fire was an infinite maw,
    Consuming fragments of what once was the ordinary certitude.
    Torments blossomed like exquisite blossoms through the mist of smoke,
    As silence tangled with every crevice and choke.

    Gleaming leaves were hovering in agony, both timeless and keen,
    Thorns covered every surface like a cruel and enchanting mesh.
    A sombre choir rose from the tumultuous chasm below,
    Like a chant of despair where no light dared to proceed.

    Crimson rivers wept down as if to mourn,
    For aborted dreams and decayed illusions,
    Condemned to be trapped in this doomed realm,
    Where unaware dreamers were lured by the ravine’s relentless lustre.

    This utopian land was forsaken by all but dread,
    Where phantoms of yesteryear were eternally bound,
    Bound to flames that did not warm but only kill,
    A ravine of fire where everything was swallowed into the shadows and eternal darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Empty Life

    An Empty Life

    An empty life became a monument to emptiness,
    A celebration of nothingness in an empty universe,
    Among shadows and darkness, where silence ruled.

    Ghostly whispers were ephemeral vestiges,
    Of delights lost in forsaken dwellings,
    Houses crumbled in hollow valleys,
    Under the glare of dark clouds, forever forced to roam.

    An empty life drifted through the gardens of thorns,
    Where vibrant screams faded into mere sighs,
    And undisclosed dreams perished.

    The clock ticked slowly, its hands wearied,
    Time grieved softly, though none were teary,
    Chasing phantoms of faded grace,
    In a world stripped bare, devoid of space.

    Empty chambers lit by the dimmest light,
    Once filled with the ardour, they were now eerie mazes,
    With portraits of eyes that once sparkled with lively glee.

    Staring blankly beyond imagination,
    In the mirror, an outsider’s mask,
    Reflected haunting reveries in this empty space,
    A life once painted in vibrant hues.

    Grey blood was a relic of a cruel fate,
    Each day, a raindrop fell behind the silver surface of a mirror,
    In the void’s embrace, where expectations grew thin.

    Lost in the labyrinth of despair,
    An empty life drifted, gasping for air,
    The garden once bloomed with bright colours,
    Now lay barren, devoid of light.

    Withering petals like dreams left behind,
    In the stillness, a haunting echo of the mind,
    Once, delight and joy filled every creaking stair.

    And so silence weaved its cloak of despair,
    The fervour of a touch now was just a ghost,
    In this empty life, memories tormented the most,
    Cobbled paths led to nowhere forever.

    With dreams forgotten, everyone would have taken their vow,
    To wander aimlessly, in shadows confined,
    In the emptiness, where no solace could ever be found.

    A glimmer of hope in a world turned bleak,
    Finally, every endeavour felt cold and weak
    As the sun set low on a weary spirit,
    An empty life remained beyond control.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Shattered Expectations

    Shattered Expectations

    Shattered expectations lay heavy,
    Upon a once-bright horizon,
    Casting gloom over whispered promises,
    Dreams shattered like fragile glass,
    Each shard reflected unrealised aspirations,
    Their brilliance was dulled by the sting of reality.

    In an instant of fracture,
    The future darkened with despair,
    The heartfelt, sharp sting of disillusionment,
    Every step forward met with waves of grief,
    Dragging the spirit into a pit of sorrow,
    Where hope became a distant memory.

    The sky was loaded with clouds and forgotten ambitions,
    Each gust of wind was a reminder of paths diverged,
    Faces that once gleamed with potential,
    Now, they wore masks of resignation,
    Eyes clouded with the weight of disappointment,
    The spark of hope extinguished too soon.

    Time, relentless in its march,
    Became a cruel companion,
    Each tick of the clock was a reminder
    Of the opportunities that slipped away,
    Moments scattered like shards of mirrors,
    Reflecting the painful truth of what could have been.

    In this desolation, nefarious thoughts persisted,
    What had been could never be reclaimed,
    The world spun on, indifferent to grief,
    Each sunrise bore the weight of shattered dreams,
    And a quiet acceptance began to take root,
    Acknowledging that some dreams were never meant to flourish.

    Amid the gloom of bygone days,
    Traces of forsaken desires lingered,
    A haunting reminder of what was lost,
    And even in the depths of hope,
    No flicker of resilience could have sparked,
    Leaving only shadows where dreams once thrived.

    Shattered expectations became remote relics,
    As the heart learned to wander through the darkness,
    Searching for echoes in a desolate chamber,
    Where shadows coiled like serpents of despair.

    Each bit of void swallowed oppressively in silence,
    And dreams, like spectres, faded into the gloom,
    In the quietness, a haunting sorrow lingered.

    In shadows, regret festered,
    A reminder of lost prospects,
    Trapped in a labyrinth of misery.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Hollow Silence

    The Hollow Silence

    The hollow silence gripped the night,
    Beneath the weight of silent skies,
    Where stars once whispered dreams of light,
    But faded away as desires had died.

    The wind of life, a fleeting spark,
    Danced through the trees, then quickly waned—
    Moments dissolved into the dark,
    Lost to the hollow silence’ gloom.

    Time marched on, indifferent still,
    A tireless thief, unseen, unkind,
    Stripping bare the fragile will
    Of those who sought but could not find.

    The hollow silence swelled and grew,
    A wave that drowned all sound, all sense—
    The world spun on, yet no one knew,
    Trapped in its vast indifference.

    No light to guide, no ardour to grant,
    The weight of days, too vast to bear—
    For in that void, all breathed, all lived,
    Nonetheless, it only grasped at hollow air.

    With each effort made, an echoed sigh,
    A sunken sound, a ghostly tread,
    Chasing stars that blurred and died,
    In skies where all the dreams had fled.

    The sun did rise, the moon did fall,
    But neither heeded mortal cries—
    Existence, vast, untouched by all,
    Turned a blind, unfeeling eye.

    The hollow silence claimed its prize,
    Wrapped every thought in numbing frost—
    For in the end, beneath those skies,
    Reckoning all that was treasured and lost.

    And finally, a longing, despite the void,
    For meaning woven in the haze,
    Seeking truths that fate destroyed,
    In endless nights and hollow days.

    A hollow silence called so near,
    Its cold embrace, a final snare—
    The search for answers, year by year,
    Yet only shadows lingered there.

    Still wandering, lost and small,
    Through labyrinths of endless nights—
    Hoping, though fearing the fall,
    That something waited beyond sight.

    But time, relentless in its flight,
    Left all dreams to fade away—
    The distant resonances of the night,
    A silent plea that none could sway.

    Reaching for more eventually only found,
    The hollow silence, all around,
    Burying all without a sound.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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