Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: melancholic poetry

  • The Sun Of Dismay

    The Sun Of Dismay

    The Sun of dismay irradiated its glowing rays of light all over me, as if I were not aware enough of my cruel fate. I wish I could have escaped from that hostile destiny, but I was bound to it by an eternal oath.

    My sighs and tears could not arrest that tragic scenario poised to, all of a sudden, dismiss the totality of my most cherished dreams. Not even the nighttime legends and fairy tales could divert my attention.

    The nocturnal echoes of the barn owls and nightjars interrupted my silent contemplation, every time I stared at the moon from my balcony adorned with ancient finds and magical manuscripts.

    Beyond the horizon, I was not able to catch sight of anything else but my dreadful fears that filled my heart with a bitter anguish. And suddenly a freezing wind rose, freezing all the mirrors of my antique mansion.

    The Sun of dismay didn’t appear anymore since the day I had decided to fall in love with my regrets and solitude. Nevertheless, far away, cast away from my memories, an obsolete shadow kept haunting the peaceful realm of my thoughts.

    No candle dared to illuminate the darkness that dwelled in my realm of nightmares and oddities. My reflection in broken mirrors made me perceive that I was an evanescent hologram of my own imagination.

    Was all that real or just a dream? A rocambolesque confusion suddenly struck me like a purely casual event. Surreal was everything I ever dreamed of and mostly the suspense of my bizarre fate.

    My invisibility was my strength and the loneliness swarming around me tempted me to surrender to every hesitation of mine, even when the Sun of dismay persisted in materialising like an unexpected ghost.

    All my wishes vanished and they were replaced by restlessness in the shape of ghouls wandering in the endless labyrinth of my chance, where destiny and randomness became indistinguishable.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Time Slipped Like Sand

    Time Slipped Like Sand

    Time slipped like sand in the ocean
    Silence amplified my thoughts
    I got lost
    Wandering endlessly in a quest for forgetfulness and balderdash
    Since the day I surrendered to chaos and oddities
    I’ve never realised the intention of my fate
    Without any concern about my purposes

    Whenever I looked at the sky there was always something missing inside my heart
    Maybe it was
    Perhaps it was not
    Or would I have been destined to oblivion?
    Confused while I was tasting the bitter nectar of awareness
    I didn’t pay any attention to my pathway

    That I was lost I knew not
    All I could perceive was the sight of a crimson aura all around me and a prosperous garden of splendid crimson roses
    Ravens and crows were flying all around me together with magnificent butterflies

    Time slipped like sand
    And there was no mirror where I could see an image of myself
    It was like my countenance was invisible to every silver surface
    Nonetheless, my real delight relied on the trepidation of my slumber
    During which I strove to touch the stars while I was vexed by the gloomy clouds

    Abruptly the mysterious songs of nocturnal birds woke me up
    Did I know where I was?
    I believe not and it didn’t even matter to me
    The foremost commodity was that the time slipped like sand in the emptiness
    I had forgotten the voices of anthropoids and their shadows didn’t bother me anymore
    Fortunately for me

    I was fortunate to discover that I had got lost in the wilderness of my dreams
    Indeed, I didn’t need to follow any path any longer
    For I was now more than ever unburdened from both my past and my future
    The candles of expectation had gone out
    The sparkles of desires and love had been swallowed by the night that whispered my name no more.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Wandering In Oblivion

    Wandering In Oblivion

    Wandering in oblivion with the certitude in my heart that I belonged more to my afflictions than to my desires
    I knew not where my fate was taking me
    The only inevitability I couldn’t avoid was my obsessive quest to follow my dreams
    My fantastic world was all I demanded so impulsively
    And that everlasting flame was glowing intensely into my heart

    I felt betrayed by the time and all the previous events that dragged me into the pit of anguish
    It was real as much as I was breathing, and I couldn’t prevent being overwhelmed
    A huge imaginary mountain was on my chest, for I didn’t realise I had brought such huge exhaustion over and over again for a considerable time, too many times
    Lost and deluded, I chose seclusion as a way to bear that overflowing burden

    So far I wandered that I got lost in mazes and forests, for I was seeking pursuits and chances
    Even though I knew there was no compass guiding me in the infinite darkness of the nights I spent in dizziness and confusion
    Bitter was the dismay that distressed my heart in the loneliest journey of my existence
    Whenever I searched for comfort, I only found sparse, few and far-between hopes for a spark of delight

    The sunlight became bright and dark, creating shadows all over my path, while the moon advanced with pride as the queen of the long nights when my slumber was trembling with fear of the unknown. At last, I could hear the silence whispering presages and tales. Hence, there I was, lonely in my frailty and chaos, never ready for new adventures whilst wandering in oblivion and suspense. I had forgotten all my bygone remembrances as well as my name and my most cherished dreams.

    As long as the moon shone alongside the stars, I could make wishes that shattered at the mountain’s peak. But all fell silent, and I remained in my castle, admiring the splendid panorama before me.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • A Spectacular Mirage

    A Spectacular Mirage

    A spectacular mirage manifested before my eyes in a torrid night of discomforts
    Everywhere there was a scalding haze made of phantomatic dreams and delighting chimaeras
    Never a doubt caught me while a storm of nightmares was brewing over the night sky
    And everything was just darkness and infinity

    I only needed to lose myself to discover my real self
    So many times I have climbed insurmountable heights to realise that I had metamorphosed into something totally different
    Like an ethereal shape that would change incessantly without abeyance
    Each time desiring something new

    The different windows of my life had shut and opened
    Disclosing a multitude of scenarios and dreamland
    The sun had conquered me while the moon hid viciously behind a blanket of spectacular stars
    Majestic dreams had always overwhelmed my heart, and I found myself in an ocean of tears and anguish

    Wandering into the forest of bliss and delight
    I had lost myself permanently
    As if I were unable to think and keep sparkles of wisdom in my treasure chest
    Everything was darkness
    Nothing was translucent
    No aid would have reached me in that mayhem
    Every part of my body and heart could feel the great tragedy of existence

    Dreaming of isles and oceans where nothing had sense
    Nor even desiring
    I could feel myself flimsy like a tiny flower carried away by the winds
    At the mercy of the winds and raging storms
    I wandered in confusion, traversing kingdoms and labyrinths
    In a way, I was detached from my longings, and I was eager to embrace new realms and visions

    A spectacular mirage awaited me beyond the shadows of the night sky
    As an enchantment ready to cast a mysterious spell over me
    Not taking care of any concern, I resigned myself to my fate.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Portal Of Oblivion

    The Portal Of Oblivion

    The portal of oblivion stood in the garden of secret desires
    Castaway as I was in the dizziness of the loss and grief
    I strove to grab some earth mixed with mud to feel the emptiness of that desolate place
    Where only ghosts dared to inhabit during the desolate nights of a summer
    Silence was disrupted by the steady wind, bringing some fresh relief to the tired trees
    While the moonlight rays glimmered over the flowerbeds

    No surprise could have overcome my quietness
    Now that I was embracing my golden seclusion
    Outlying the fatuous and polluted world of mortals
    Lost in the mangroves of my worries and thoughts
    After fear had left its imprints everywhere
    Wishing I could leave my past self behind the portal of oblivion once I had traversed it
    I felt like no tragedy could ever happen to me
    Although I was willing to take the risk
    Since I was used to living in the uncertainty

    I fell into a deep slumber, and I dreamed gibberish
    I felt deep inside that I couldn’t have protected myself from my fate
    For everything I was destined to was beyond my imagination
    Like a wanderer without a destination, I couldn’t discern where I really wanted to be because I couldn’t know what I was truly feeling inside my heart
    It was like I came to be an inanimate statue made of ice and crystal

    The more I wanted to know, the more I lost my memories
    In the effort to survive all the storms of life and the wicked tragedies
    I have transformed into a storm myself
    Powerful yet ephemeral like a summer night raindrop
    My heart has turned into a crystal gem, and I couldn’t feel any sensation of frostiness or warmth
    For I was an evanescent creature of that realm of dreams and coveted chimaeras
    Beyond the portal of oblivion.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Shadows And Blooms

    Shadows And Blooms

    Shadows and blooms disappeared at night in the shape of moonlight
    Faltering the candlelight announced a thrilling night made of lightning and thunder
    For a storm was waiting for me to disclose my secrecy
    Indeed, I had forgotten all my precious dreams locked like charming jewels in a treasure chest
    Alas, time announced that I was late, and I had to renounce my previous intentions
    I got distracted by my studies and books because the dust had covered me up like a heavy blanket
    And here I was, or at least I thought I was
    Since in a fragile existence, everything could have been possible
    Even to be carried by my very own fantasies to the starry sky, an unknown territory to me
    Doubt and fear had me walk down to the cold soil of my mysterious garden with no flowers

    Shadows and blooms reappeared at night whenever I was not expecting them
    Like unexpected guests waiting for my slumber to overwhelm my mind
    In an eternal quest for lost hopes and betrayals, the darkness of the night manifested with its myriad of enchantments
    Castaway on the edge of the firmament like an isolated star
    I kept wandering in surprise and anguish
    Weary and unimpressed
    With the certainty in my heart that keeps whispering deceptions
    When the only treasure I truly coveted was a sugar-coated truth
    In my own chaos
    Where oftentimes I was a stranger to myself
    As if I never knew my intrinsic essence
    Instead, I had become evanescent like a thin cloud disappearing in the night haze

    Far away, I could see the ocean touching the sky with its waves
    It could have been my hallucination
    It could have been my desire
    Shadows and blooms vanished from my sight
    And instead
    I found myself in the desert of loneliness
    Surrounded by the cold gusts of a winter storm, chaperoning me to the abyss of darkness and nightmares.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Fantasising In The Realm Of The Night

    Fantasising In The Realm Of The Night

    Fantasising in the realm of the night
    Lost in my obliviousness
    Bound to my dreams
    I discovered lost memories kept far away from my heart
    For I was wandering in the inaccessible kingdom of the invisible
    Where only dreams and chimaeras could be tangible

    I had lost the keys to the portal of fear
    And I was facing my delusional quest with no destination
    Cast away from society, I lived in solitude and silence
    No words could have been used to depict my inner world
    Too many times I saw faces without a soul
    For myriad seasons, I spent questioning my fate

    I never found an answer to each of my questions
    It seemed the stars were enjoying lying to me
    Or maybe it was the treacherous night sky with its copious gloomy clouds that interfered
    I knew not
    And I will never know
    Since the first day of my bleak existence
    Dismay was my inner core
    Like a rose thorn, always present in my heart

    No tumultuous storm or hectic wind could have disrupted that unheavenly stillness
    For I was firmly convinced that I could not alter my endless state of invisibility
    Dazed and confused as I was
    I didn’t count the hours anymore
    Time didn’t exist in my kingdom of imagination
    Whenever I was fantasising in the realm of the night

    No flower of my dim garden could ever have resisted a secret eclipse
    Nor could I refuse to live with those illusions that were mesmerising my heart
    Lonely and flimsy was the star dwelling in my soul
    The nocturnal birds greeted me as always
    For they were my chaotic followers of the darkness
    In my journeys through inaccessible forests and forsook meadows
    Seeking the ocean waves and the thunder in the tempestuous dusks of the wilderness
    To lose and find all the versions of myself
    In an infinite expedition to nowhere
    Forever
    Never ceasing to fantasise in the realm of the night.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • A Storm Of Forsaken Longings

    A Storm Of Forsaken Longings

    A storm of forsaken longings overwhelmed my humble slumber in a torrid night
    I lost myself in the garden of daring dreams
    I proceeded to embrace my transformation
    I became a creature of the night and the custodian of the most secret enigmas of the stars
    So dazzlingly dark the night sky had become
    That I forgot every dream of mine
    A lullaby enchanted me and I dared not feel any anguish
    Unaware of what wisdom could have taught me
    While I lived on the scent of the flowers of illusion
    Willing to come to be a bloom blushing under the moonlight

    A storm of forsaken longings appeared in my night dreams
    As if I were bound to an endless labyrinth of delusional enthusiasm
    Whenever a bitter apprehension emerged like a ghost, it made me feel like a seashell made of sand and wind
    Under the influence of all the whims of my unsteady fate
    Hence, I felt the urge to embrace my chaos and vulnerability
    Although I was fragile like a snowflake
    I never ceased to endure the challenges of my destiny
    So much I had coveted to take a look at the crystal orb retaining all the riddles of my future
    That I wished to be a witch ruling the realms of the sea and sky

    I had always questioned all the mirrors encountered in my quest to discover my true self
    I really yearned to catch a glimpse of my real image
    But I have never been allowed to rest my gaze on those silver surfaces
    I had become a mystery to myself
    I never made an acquaintance with my soul
    And my heart could have known more than me what I truthfully was
    Even when the ocean breeze had whispered my name, I couldn’t understand what the great mystery of existence was.
    I felt infinite and finite at the same time.
    An everlasting flame embodied my passions, which not even the most fierce storm could ever extinguish.
    No forsaken longings.
    Only crimson roses blooming under a starry sky.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Entangled In My Own Disquiet

    Entangled In My Own Disquiet

    Entangled in my own disquiet
    I found myself in a state of confusion
    Collapsing into a vortex of chaos and despair
    I might have been able to overcome my fears
    But I was not capable of escaping the loneliness

    There were no mirrors in my secret dwelling
    Where candles and shadows were my loyal confidantes
    And an absolute silence was soothing me like a soft lullaby
    While my sighs hid tears of grief

    Thinking of myself as a tiny leaf in an immense ocean
    I was surrendered to fate, ready to be swallowed up in the abyss of oblivion
    Lost in a turmoil of obsessions and dismay

    Many times I wished to escape from the labyrinth of my fantasies
    But deceptions were always following my trail
    I knew no serenity
    Instead, I was condemned to wander endlessly

    Time didn’t know me as I existed in a surreal dimension
    I belonged to the realm of darkness and obliteration
    And I was a victim of the impetuous winds of the long winter night

    I felt the discomfort of reality
    It was like wearing a sumptuous dress made of thorns and quills
    I lived as a doll locked in an airtight box

    No creature could ever perceive me
    No creature could ever hear my sobs and sighs
    No mirror could reflect my image

    I was inevitably entangled in my own disquiet
    Although the stillness around me pacified my soul
    I didn’t feel any urgency to rescue myself
    Indeed, my drowsy heart couldn’t perceive anything anymore

    I had no longing, no desire left
    I’ve never been in the garden of devotion and love
    I’ve always been shrouded in clouds of invisibility
    Always surrounded by candles and spiderwebs
    Lost in a cloud of incense and blooming night flowers
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Love Like A Sweet Poison

    Love Like A Sweet Poison

    Love like a sweet poison seeped into the heart, and time no longer existed in the realm of the eternal night. Passion burned as an everlasting flame and it altered into eternal desire.

    A tenacious devotion was rooted in a ground made of ice and stardust. And I stood among crimson roses and the nocturnal mist, under the sight of an eerie moon.

    The darkness enveloped me like a sumptuous dress wrapped around me. The faraway shadows of anguish and dread were chasing me like ominous ghouls.

    I was seeking ghosts that reminded me of lost loves while wandering accompanied by my madness as the only chaperone.

    No pang could ever touch me anymore since I’ve been depleted of my heart that was standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, beating loudly like an incessant cry.

    My only way to exist was to roam erratically without any guidance. I was already a creature of the world of darkness. I had altered a myriad times in numerous ways.

    I had definitely forsaken the world of mortals, with whom I never felt any affinity. I didn’t mind losing myself in that tremendous labyrinth.

    As far as I could proceed, I felt the nothingness swallowing me with delight. A storm had subjugated me and shattered my being.

    Not even a speck of myself had been kept by the frozen soil, because a whirlwind had stolen my essence. I was held captive by the abyss of darkness and there were no expectations or delusions.

    I finally remembered as a long-lost memory that time no longer existed, when love seeped into the heart like a sweet poison. It burned slowly, transforming into eternal desire.

    And there I lay down underneath the soil soaked with ice and flames with my heart standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, dreaming fearlessly and ceaselessly like a funerary elegy.
    Elisabetta Esther

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