Tag: misery

  • Impaled By My Own Grief

    Impaled By My Own Grief

    Impaled by my own grief
    Like a butterfly pinned to a wall
    I was standing on the cold soil soaked by my own blood
    Among withered flowers infused with the scent of death
    Embracing my misery as it was a bliss for my weak heart

    Slowly unveiling the image behind the shadows hovering high
    I discovered the reflection of my true self in their shrouds
    I cried out loud, running out of tears of despair
    Dressed in the sparkling veil that the luminaries made for me
    And wearing a crown made of thorns and roses

    All the most terrible memories introduced themselves to me
    They appeared like dreadful ghouls and wraiths
    Stabbing me with their sharp daggers
    Reducing me to a relic
    In the presence of crows and dead trees

    I was an empty shell without reflection or shadow
    Whenever I was wondering, it seemed I didn’t leave any trace
    But only blood and thorns, a representation of my miserable existence
    What I was I knew not
    I became an enigma to myself

    I collapsed like a wax sculpture
    As I was an extinguished flame
    With a body stitched by bandages and shattered dreams
    Each thread was a reminder of the pangs carved all over my body
    And my heart was a crushed crystal

    The gleaming moonlight created an aura made of silver
    Spectres were floating over me
    While I was waiting for the stars to guide me
    But no sign was there for me
    Only the deepest darkness and squalid solitude

    The cruel fate had decreed my end with the worst despair of my soul
    All my cries were dispersed by the cold wind of a winter night
    Nothing more was there for me
    I had lost everything dear to me
    And a storm wrapped me in its deadly embrace

    Impaled by my own grief
    I was the embodiment of my own tragedy.
    Elisabetta

  • Among Shadows And Monsters

    Among Shadows And Monsters

    Among shadows and monsters, I was left to hover
    Merciless was the despair inside my broken heart, since misery ruled my life, condemning me to wander endlessly. I was left to merciless ghouls haunting me like wicked demons; all of them reminded me of the past I’ve forever tried to flee.

    Time twisted around me like a serpent, devouring every trace of the glow of a dream, while I wandered among whispers and sighs of all those aborted dreams of mine that I couldn’t save anymore. It felt as though I were seeing my decay with my eyes and I couldn’t find any redemption or rescue from my fate.

    I was adrift in a sinking boat during a winter night storm, all alone facing death. Nobody would ever give attention to my defeat but only me. In the quiet void, my voice was lost like a resentful wind howling without being heard. And in that very moment, I realised and accepted my loneliness and my doomed fate.

    My solitude and misery became my companions while an infernal stupor obsessed my mind, leading me to folly through its betrayal. I sat on my throne of darkness and became queen of the kingdom of shadows and black roses. I was no longer afraid of ghouls and monsters because I had come to be a creature of the night.

    In the abyss of anguish, I ruled over my fears and obsessions. My madness became my loyal reflection. All my fragilities and insecurities morphed into mirrors, thorns and candlesticks. Although I was among shadows and monsters, my fears no longer possessed me; instead, they carved arcane signs on my skin from which I bled.

    I discovered delight in my pains and built my castle from disdain. In magnificence and death, I married oblivion and I erased my name from the book of living souls. The stillness of eternity waited for me and I vanished into the aether. I was in the shadows and in the wind, in clouds and stars. I was an ephemeral gloom and a fleeting shadow, a transfiguration.
    Elisabetta

  • The Thorns Of Velvet

    The Thorns Of Velvet

    The thorns of velvet were wrapped around
    My wounds carved deeply by shattered dreams
    I let them pierce my pale skin
    For even agony was made to gleam
    When it was dressed in languid depravity

    And in the silence, I strove to find my voice
    A quiet murmur made of fractured hopes
    Siren chants echoed through the hollowed air
    Melodies of lost embrace faded like prayers
    The shadows held me in their cold clasp

    In my disquiet, I’ve searched for refuge
    The thorns of velvet had pierced my heart
    A heart possessed by madness and trepidation
    I wore my sorrow like a luxurious gown
    Its silver threads were laced tight with resignation

    A requiem was bound to the cadence of my own damnation
    I danced alone in hallways of misery
    Each step of mine was a silent scream upon the marbled grief
    My shadows vanished like faint smoke
    Entangled with dismal sighs so fleeting and ephemeral

    The stars wept silently on their hollow frame
    Their gleaming gaze was a mirror to my plight
    I bore the poundage of all my disgraces with aching grace
    I became a ghost adorned in tattered garments
    All the glow within my heart dissolved into the dust of decay

    I never ceased to wander through endless nights
    Longing for sunrises and sunsets while chained to my realm of darkness
    Since the night when the sky was veiled in forsaken memories
    And the moon with the stars were witnesses to my irreversible descent
    I called out to the void in vain because my doomed fate was sealed in immortal shadiness

    In this realm of infinite dusk, I looked for insights and wisdom
    But all that I could have found was madness and torment
    Surrounded by raven and crimson roses, I surrendered to the supremacy of the kingdom of collapse
    Where all the mirrors were broken in an everlasting candlelit aura
    While the thorns of velvet made me bleed
    All my dreams died, leaving me to wither in the ashes of my own despair.
    Elisabetta

  • Buried Delights

    Buried Delights

    Buried delights are the only gifts that remained in my treasure chest
    Nothing more because I’ve lost all my hope and dreams
    I’ve been deprived of all the things dear to me and I cannot have any more back
    All that I have is dust and decay

    All my sandcastles were swallowed by the greedy ocean of darkness
    The emptiness of my fate buried all my solaces and delights
    I have to suffer in silence and let my heart bleed all the pains he cannot retain
    Because my life is a graveyard of buried delights and I cannot dream

    I have to suffer unbearably
    My life is an abyss of anguish and sorrow
    Dismay is my favourite word that I pronounce instead of my name
    And my only consolation is the cold soil of my chamber of tears

    I cry infinitely and in my repulsion for life
    I cannot find any light
    What should I do to make my life tolerable?
    Is there any sense in this universe for a creature like me?

    In the gloominess, I hide tiny and invisible
    Because after all, I’m invisible and no one cares about me
    I care about myself so little that even I don’t care
    So I do write because my life is useless and empty

    The void devoured everything all my happiness
    Nothing remained to me but buried delights
    Nothing remained to me but cold tears stroking my cheeks
    So often I cry that I forget all my names and I know that my fate is doomed

    In misery and desolation, I will find my destiny
    In resignation and death, I will find my infinite rest
    Suffering is my only way to express myself inside myself
    Like in a dark maze where all that I can see are shadows lecturing me about life

    My buried dreams and delights are lost forever
    I have nothing any more but the endless anguish of life
    Because I never wanted to be born
    Because I never wanted to be among others
    Because all I ever wanted was to live in my dreams and not in a graveyard made of misery and affliction.
    Elisabetta

  • Desolation and Sadness

    Desolation and Sadness

    Desolation and sadness blossomed in a time when the tree of joy died,
    Before, the winds turned cold and cruel.
    The days were bright, but shadows prospered,
    And silence ruled in every room.

    The flowers once bloomed in glimmering lights,
    Their petals soft, their fragrance sweet,
    But seasons shifted, and they withered,
    As if the soil no longer cared to greet.

    The sky had held a shade of blue,
    A canvas where the clouds would play,
    But soon, it faded into grey,
    As mirth dissolved and dreams decayed.

    There had been a symphony of fondness in every glimmer,
    And love’s embrace was powerful and infallible.
    But hearts grew detached, hands untied,
    Leaving behind an obscure emptiness.

    The roads once bustled with busy steps,
    Crammed with the hum of life’s embrace.
    Now, only memories passed through walls,
    And loneliness had found its realm.

    The ocean once danced beneath the sun,
    Its waves created a melody of endless bliss.
    But now the shores stood bare and cold,
    Untouched by light, untouched by ardour.

    There was a time when longings were alive,
    Their sounds were so pure, their wings so light,
    Nonetheless, soon, their melodies went lost in the darkness,
    Swept away by endless nights.

    The stars had shone like scattered gems,
    Guiding the way through life’s enigmas,
    However, shortly, their light was swallowed whole,
    By darkened skies, their lustre was gone.

    Those who once believed in futures bright,
    With paths that led to beautiful shores.
    They became tired of those dreams that were left lying in the dust,
    Forgotten tales of what once soared.

    There had been smiles and giggles,
    Faded promises of days to arrive.
    But sorrow settled in their place,
    And every gust felt cold and numb.

    The past was filled with tender grace,
    A world untouched by grief’s decay.
    But time moved on, and all that was loved
    It was swept like ash and blown away.

    Desolation and sadness claimed the fields of green,
    Where no more hearts alive could have been chased,
    Indeed, now those fields lay barren, bare,
    Where joy had existed, now misery took its siege.

    The wind that brought hymns of happiness
    Suddenly, it only carried the weight of tears.
    The songs of delight and love
    Fell silent through the passing years.

    There was a remote and ancient time,
    When kindness bloomed like a springtime flower,
    But cruelty’s frost had killed the bloom,
    And shadows stretched with thriving power.

    The sun that warmed every realm
    Fell from the sky in silent grief,
    And all that once was full of life
    Fell prey to time’s relentless thief.

    In the end, only desolation and sadness lingered here,
    Of all things that went lost, of all those dreams that were known.
    Desolation ruled the land,
    And sadness bloomed where hope once grew.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Torments Of Existence

    Torments Of Existence

    Torments of existence and death,
    Until the last speck of hope had been granted,
    To dreamers and illusioned vainly expecting realms of dreams,
    Underneath a starless night sky occluded by ignominious clouds.

    Despair hid behind shadows of forsaken longings,
    As the cold wind of fate chilled the bones of lonely ghouls,
    In the heart of the infinite darkness, where light dared not tread,
    And only silent screams of forgotten souls would reverberate unheeded.

    The essence of broken promises and shattered aspirations dissipated into the abyss,
    Unseen and unheard with a load of sorrow heavy as lead,
    In the midst of a reality binding and drenching them in perpetual twilight.

    No trace of lost dreams could have been revealed in the dark labyrinth of hunted spirits, Whose only solace lay in the embrace of eternal nights,
    For in this realm, the fragments of dreams merged with the wails of misery,
    Lost into the void.

    Torments of existence within a mournful maze of endless gloom,
    Within the depths of such despair,
    A gleam of defiance struggled to ignite,
    Amid the shadows of a dead heart.

    Every sliver of light strove to pierce through the suffocating dark,
    Until it became a frail memory of sick diseases,
    A weak flame that could not have endured the majestic abyss of emptiness,
    Swallowing every time and space.

    Death and destruction annihilated every hope and dream,
    Leaving only an empty desolation of shattered illusions and lost chimaeras,
    A barren expanse where the echoes of forgotten hopes lingered faintly,
    Relegated to the recesses of nightmares afflicted by the relentless tide of despair.

    In this forsaken domain, murmurs of bygone fantasies and dreams soared unrestrained,
    Hereafter reduced to haunting and obscene obsessions,
    The relentless march of time brought no solace,
    Only a deeper descent into the chasm of hopelessness.

    Anguished cries resonated eternally in an endless symphony of sorrow,
    And amidst the ruins of a world forsaken by light,
    Lonely figures wandered aimlessly, lost in the maze of torment and desolation,
    Spectres of once hopeful dreamers.

    In this realm where the sun dared not shine,
    And the moon’s glow was but a distant memory,
    Hope had become a relic of the past,
    A forgotten treasure buried beneath the weight of endless distress,
    In the presence of such overwhelming darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Forsaken Dream

    A Forsaken Dream

    A forsaken dream of lost hopes,
    In the deep ocean of despair and grief,
    Limitless and was as the sky of darkness,
    Where silence reigned supreme,
    And no solace would embrace the night,
    Yearning for the dawn’s advent.

    In the stillness of the eternal obscurity,
    Hope flickered like a distant star,
    A beacon in the endless infinite,
    Guiding dreams toward twilight embrace,
    Through shadows and whispers,
    In a maze of ashes and sorrows.

    In the abyss of forsaken longings,
    Where memories faded like autumn leaves,
    Each tear fell from the tree of pain,
    Carving its mark upon the time,
    The sigil of a weary sigh,
    Seeking refuge from the storm of delusions.

    Amidst the ruins of shattered dreams,
    Lay the seed of despair,
    Buried deep within the heart’s core,
    Waiting for the doubt’s cruel touch,
    To bloom amidst the desolation,
    A twisted flower of haunting sorrows.

    The night became a canvas of untold horrors,
    Painted with hues of melancholy and dread,
    Within its darkest shades,
    Lay a promise of relentless torment,
    Where light was but a fleeting ghost,
    And shadows devoured the feeble glow.

    Through the valleys of despair,
    And the mountains of anguish,
    The ethereal dreams wandered, lost,
    Guided by the whispers of forgotten dreads,
    A chilling relic of what once was alive,
    That refused to fade away.

    In the realm of chimaeras,
    Woven with threads of misery and pain,
    Each moment was a dark stain,
    In the intertwining of life and death,
    Though the night might have seemed eternal,
    The dawn was but an illusion,
    Bringing with it the torment of false hope.

    Tears fell like acid rain,
    Corroding the seeds of hope,
    Embracing the night’s cold grasp,
    For it was in the darkness,
    That the stars burned with an eternal flame,
    Leading dreams further into the abyss.

    In the emptiness of silence,
    As time faded,
    A dirge of despair and hopelessness,
    Emerged from the depths of sadness,
    A vision of endless nights.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • I Forgot How To Smile

    I Forgot How To Smile

    I forgot how to smile
    In this world of pain and disguise
    Masks and phantoms are all around
    Barely pretending to unleash the truth
    When mirrors reflect sparkling golden and silver bonds

    I forgot how to be free
    Not falling into beautified traps with magnificent ceilings
    Listening to the real sound of the wind
    Whenever I breathe the fresh air of solitude
    Dizzy and bewildered in a maze of deception and pitfalls

    I forgot how to fly
    And cover my eyes with the leaves of souvenirs
    Forgetting my name and the soil where I walk on
    Nonsense should be my wisdom
    Until I recognise the beauty of invisibility

    Claustrophobic fears deceive me
    Erasing all the strength I own
    Striving to filter the misery in the lake where I drown
    Silently closing my eyes so that I don’t cry anymore
    Choking in a narrow way where I forgot how to scream

    In the ethereal, unending, and eternal quest
    I seclude myself in the abyss of silence and invisibility
    Unconscious and reckless like a crystal in the deepness of the sea
    No shadows or mirrors are my acquaintances
    With no difference between the day and night

    I forgot how to forget
    Whilst fleeting the shallow castles of idiocy and phenomenon
    Waiting for the paper cards to fold and burn in the fire of fairness
    Once more and forever ignoring the ominous dread of depravity
    Standing like a small leaf falling on the cold soil of the oblivion

    I might have forgotten the slumber of my joyful days
    When I lived in the unconsciousness of my thoughts
    Confident that my soul would be delighted forever in the dimness of the betrayal
    Believing that the toxic clasp of doom would have enlightened my life
    Having become captive to a terrible spectre

    I forgot how to smile with a blank mind and closed eyes
    I might have been able to travel far away
    Once and for all, in the idiosyncratic of my imagination
    Deluding myself in glares and wonders
    When after all, I dwell in a dark hollow, I claim to be my fortress.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Land Of Dreams

    The Land Of Dreams

    The land of dreams has no soul
    I am a dream maker
    Not human anymore
    But I live in my truth
    It is a paradise which has always been created
    Never well known so much
    My past was just a lie
    So many times and ways I lived
    Always seeking a place of happiness
    When I find out a world
    I am always striving to live in perfect stillness

    The land of dreams was not filled with darkness
    It is the world beyond and everywhere
    Where nothing is lost in memory
    And the ocean runs over where only truth can be found
    So many secrets which cannot be seen
    In existence, everything is lost in sight
    With the rain to stay like my own birth
    Looking for the beauty in my heart
    Life is not always fabulous and simple
    A unique gift and a loving treasure
    My desires and shadows endure
    With a glance at the dark

    The land of dreams has no name
    Under the misty sky, the wind blows through darkness and fear
    And my dreams never shall now be seen
    Sometimes there is a meaning in the senses
    There is a life beyond destiny
    The stars are out of the shade
    The remembrance I’ve met in the far past
    Too much has been forgotten forever
    I was not somewhere, and the future appeared somehow
    Wisdom is often seen by time or sight
    The world of misery is in its own value
    The soul needs no choice

    The land of dreams is an echo I saw
    And it is already gone and lost
    Empty darkness, I shall become
    Alone in the most sincere silence
    Only the shadows are clear and warm
    So far, long ago, my longings have ceased
    Releasing the past and rejoicing in the storm’s dusk
    Tears without pain
    In happiness and hope
    I rely on my excellent intuitions
    No longer a bliss among my delusions
    Though my soul is uncorrupted in every way.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful Anguish In The Daily Light

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Waiting no longer
    Life seems like a dream that will break
    Many things belonging to love always end
    From a life filled with sorrow and bliss
    Time ended everything
    And happiness faded away
    How could I feel hope and fear without a soul
    Being my heart a fragment of despair and desire
    Coping the frightful pain stabbing my soul
    When I stare at my reflection on a white wall
    As it would be another me waiting for my end

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The silent darkness is whispering secrets
    I’m mute because that is how I live
    Invisible and speechless
    As a constant ghost would check my state of mind
    I might be fearful, but I am not
    My soul has never seen the present
    Being bonded between the past and the future
    Its arrival and its flow
    It shall lead to new things to come
    Hope begins once again
    Until it is crushed into pieces

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    The truth does not halt in the fall
    I live with wonder
    When there is no need to hide
    Love might give eternal light
    Existence becomes free of grace
    And everything becomes blind
    My thoughts glow above my eyes
    In a perpetual chase for limited emotions
    My mind’s endless glare overcomes me again
    In every moment, a life is born
    A beauty that will be

    Blissful anguish in the daily light
    Losing parts of myself
    The hushed tears of misery
    So brave and free is my mind
    I dare not make a new choice
    For without any joy
    Life is powerful as truth
    When a heart is full of sorrow
    And sorrow goes with it
    Then the soul can be sensed within it
    A sorrowful bliss and unexpected transformation flow down through the darkness
    In dreams, I never die for
    Until I stand there all alone.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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