A dismal obscurity silently descended over the nighttime in the garden of secret and forbidden desires. Once again, the storm had fulfilled its promise to erase ancient memories and delusional hopes from the realm of fantasies and chimaeras. The nights followed each other like a sequence of fables without any beginning or end. All the flowers withdrew from the tempest’s thunder, leaving soaked soil filled with decay and fragments of burning flames. The bitterness of the magic potions that I had to swallow in my frantic existence turned my heart into a heavy stone to carry through nights of solitude and restlessness. Flares of anguish burst in the nighttime while the stars watched me closely like a bizarre creature, who was unworthy of inhabiting that enchanted place filled with wild eccentricities. The freezing wind was so fiercely cold and violent that I could not remain standing for even a moment, reminding me of my fragility and transience. The more unbearable truths demanded to be revealed the more I shrank from discovering them in the great mirror of dilemmas. No matter how much I wanted to cast off all those painful and demoralising memories, they appeared as menacing shadows wherever I went. A dismal obscurity had cast a spell all over the night and no portal could have conducted me to other surroundings since my fate had decreed that I could never depart from the realm of ill-omened nightmares and indulgent sufferings. The art of suffering had become my delight during those harrowing nights of burning tears. The stupor had not even allowed me a moment to relinquish my role as a dreamer of lost, fragmented dreams. The eternal darkness could have been magnificent each instant that a dismal obscurity had claimed my heart solely for the mere purpose of making me feel in each part of my body the misery of the loss of all my dreams while the stars and the moon mocked me with their looks of contempt.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: nightmares and dreams
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A Dismal Obscurity
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Nightmares And Dreams
Nightmares and dreams invited me into their fairytale world on a dark night where the wails of the wind and the rustling of the leaves swept away by the impetuous wind kept me awake in the darkness of the night. However much I wanted to flee the dark omens of a destiny that had condemned me to an existence of darkness and nightmares, the truth revealed itself to me in the form of ancient manuscripts where I found symbols unknown to me engraved, but which fascinated me and whose meaning I tried so hard to discover. Nightmares and dreams became my faithful companions, spectres and ghosts of the past, anxieties of the future, heaviness of the present. All seemed to form a court of my faithful followers, of whom I was no longer afraid but a part of. Just as dried flowers crumbled upon the ground, mingling with the dry leaves. As I proceeded, I tried to catch sight of a light that could guide me on my uncertain and unstable path, where anguish served as my guide. It seemed that the night had become infinite and that the day had no longer found its role in that realm of magic and gloominess. Nightmares and dreams seemed to follow me wherever I went, and it did not seem at all a tangible reality in which I was living all these contrasting emotions in a swirling chaos that sucked me into the abyss of obliteration. However much I wanted to extricate myself from that labyrinth that held me prisoner and did not let me leave free, alas, what I could only do was retreat into my imaginary refuge where I had built myself a dwelling inhabited by nightmares and dreams, by illusions and perdition, by strangeness and spectres that instilled in me a strange sense of having lost everything that I had possessed. And so it was that I became eternal in my misery, from which I could not flee, like ivy tendrils entwined around me, which did not let me escape from that realm of hallucinations and trepidations, where my heart had been imprisoned in a crystal casket. All my agitation had been in vain. Fate, so dark and cruel, had decreed, by a decree unknown to me, my eternity made of nightmares and dreams.
Elisabetta Esther