Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: nostalgia

  • Crying To Death

    Crying To Death

    Crying to death until I lose all my fears
    Crying to death until my heart bleeds the last drop of grief
    I don’t remember my name anymore
    I come from a faraway realm where dreams are forbidden
    I wander astray in the labyrinth of my bleeding heart

    Not anymore comforted by solace and delight
    I strive to find refuge in my secret realm of illusions
    Because I love to lie to myself with shameless boldness
    Because I love to fill my heart with deception

    I’m untamed and wild, and I don’t bow to any convention
    It’s impossible to fit my soul inside a box of comfort
    Too many thoughts crowd my mind
    Too many emotions crowd my heart
    I’m a paroxysm, a burst of madness wrapped in the quietness of my sorrow

    I love to wear exclusively beautiful vintage-style dresses and ballerinas
    I love to wear red lipstick and red nail polish
    I never cut my long blond hair because they keep my little secrets for years discretely
    I love books but sometimes I keep them closed as if I would like to guess what is going to happen next in the story

    I mainly write night and day and I cannot see myself not writing even a day
    That would be like asking me not to breathe
    I suffer in silence when I am home alone so nobody can discover it
    I never plan what I’m going to write because I believe in improvisation in poetry
    I love cloudy skies but not the rain because it makes me feel miserable

    I love to be in love but I also love to be loved and adored
    Solitude and books are my best companions, indeed the only ones
    I adore art in all its forms, music, literature and art
    Sometimes I prefer to write in a direct way and simple style without labyrinths of metaphors

    Crying to death is a way to express myself when I’m suffering unbearably
    And when I don’t feel understood and seen by the other creatures of this planet or when memories come to visit me
    After all, we suffer mainly because of indifference or tainted interactions with other entities or because of something we don’t want to remember

    I feel like an alien creature not belonging to standard society and as an introvert it’s very difficult being part of this messed ocean where I never felt comfortable. So bizarre and odd I’m in the other’s sight that I cannot blend with them.
    Therefore, I dwell in my loneliness where I have built my castle of dreams.
    Elisabetta

  • The Storm of Fire

    The Storm of Fire

    The storm of fire and water overcame the stillness of the night,
    Beneath a sky overcrowded with clouds and fire,
    A magnificent spectacle beyond every imagination,
    In the midst of the infinite emptiness.

    Darkness ruled this phantasmagorical realm of fantasy and reality,
    Where illusions and deception became the only reality,
    In a play of light and shadow beyond the visible world.

    Decadent longings blossomed like dead flowers,
    Waiting to be obliterated by the fallacious gleam of decayed stars,
    While every hope withered like smoke in the void,
    In the ephemeral realm of fleeting lusts and desires.

    Solitude and a melancholic nostalgia made sombre the sky,
    Where the moon wept silver tears upon the world of reality,
    Veiled by mantles of ash and forsaken sighs,
    lighting a requiem for dreams long buried.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Hollow Nights

    Hollow Nights

    In hollow nights when the stars dared not shine,
    Dreams wandered through hidden mazes, lost in the pine of yearning.
    The aura, full of gloom and despair,
    Bore witness to nightmares that haunted every tear.

    The moon, a mere phantom, cast shadows so pale,
    Illuminated paths where memories wailed.
    Each rustle of leaves echoed tales of the past,
    Of elation that lingered, of joy that would not last.

    I trod lightly on secret spells, each tale hid behind a soft sigh,
    In the silence that wrapped me, I could only comply.
    The darkness embraced me, a cloak worn so tight,
    As I was lost through the remnants of a once-bright night.

    The trees stood like sentinels, guarding the pain,
    Of lovers long lost and the tears that remained.
    Their branches, like fingers, reached out to the moon,
    As if begging for solace, a fleeting tune.

    In the heart of the night, where shadows conspired,
    I sought out the devotion of a long-dead fire.
    But the embers lay cold, buried under the frost,
    A reminder of passion, of the love that was lost.

    And yet, in this hollow, a strange harmony I found,
    In the stillness that lingered, a gentle, soothing sound.
    Since the hollow nights were filled with the past,
    A labyrinth made of memories gathered.

    So I wandered through Twilight, embraced by the night,
    In the hollow of silence, my dreams faded under invisible clouds,
    Each gust of wind was a ghost of delight,
    In the desolate nights where the stars dared not shine.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Crumbled Castle of Lost Expectations

    The Crumbled Castle of Lost Expectations

    The crumbled castle of lost expectations stood in ruins beneath an indifferent sky,
    Its arches bent, its towers broken,
    Its promises faded away too soon.

    Winds howled through the hollowed halls,
    Where once the fate bright had shone.
    Dreams drifted like the autumn leaves,
    Long dead but never entirely gone.

    Shattered windows framed the sky,
    Where hope once rose but now fell fast.
    The crumbled castle of lost expectations
    Watched as time dragged out the past.

    Its walls had held such hopes and dreams,
    But those were buried deep in stone.
    Each vow, each word, each fleeting thought,
    Eroded by time, cold and alone.

    Forgotten by the world outside,
    Its gates, once open, were now closed tight.
    A monument to loss and grief,
    It drowned in the depth of endless night.

    The crumbled castle of lost expectations was a haven once,
    But like all things, it too decayed,
    Its walls were too frail to endlessly endure.

    There were relics and memories from years gone by,
    But now they were just ghosts in the air.
    Colours and glimmers, faint, like shadows passed,
    Through corridors that lead nowhere.

    A kingdom built on fragile hope,
    Now overtaken by despair.
    Every dream that once gleamed radiant now lay broken,
    Scattered everywhere.

    Vines crept over forgotten doors,
    Their tendrils strangled what remained,
    And ivy choked the marble floors,
    In time’s indifferent, endless chains.

    The crumbled castle of lost expectations witnessed the love that turned to dust.
    No joy remained, no delight, no glow,
    Only fragments of misplaced trust.

    Each stone, once laid with tender hands,
    Now crumbles under sorrow’s poundage.
    The days grew long, the nights grew cold,
    And silence sealed its final fate.

    A tower, once monumental, collapsed in pain,
    Its windows were ravaged, stained with tears.
    It fell not with a roar or cry,
    But with a whisper through the years.

    The shattered castle of forsaken dreams stood now as a tomb to all that was gone,
    A hollow relic of dreams once lustrous,
    And lives that flickered out at dawn.

    No sun will rise, no dawn will break,
    No voices will call out its name.
    Only the wind will mourn its fate,
    And time will erase its fleeting flame.

    A silent ghost whose memories were too faint to be kept.
    The crumbled castle of lost expectations fell to dust and ceased to exist.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Withered Rose

    The Withered Rose

    In the garden’s heart, the withered rose once stood weak,
    Petals kissed by the sun, no longer adorned in velvet shroud.
    With each dawn’s deadly whispers, her colours ceased to bloom,
    Once a vibrant display that dispelled all gloom.

    Her delight rang clear in the soft morning light,
    As bees danced around her, a joyful delight.
    Her fragrance enchanted, weaving spells in the air,
    Every passerby paused, captivated and rare.

    But time, that cruel thief with merciless claws,
    Brought storms and droughts, testing all who could withstand them.
    Now the withered rose droops in silence, colours bled,
    Each crumbling petal was a monument to the dead.

    Once an enchanting wonder, alive and bold,
    Now, she cradles shadows where memories unfold.
    Each petal and leaf that fell softly told tales of the past,
    Of love unfulfilled and moments that couldn’t last.

    Her roots stretched deep, clinging to what once was,
    And even in fading, there’s beauty because
    In her withered form, a tale still to disclose,
    Of passion and sorrow, of boldness and woes.

    In the twilight, where silence now reigns,
    The withered rose stood alone, succumbing to grief’s sweet pains.
    A vestige of devotion, of dreams twisted tight,
    In the heart of decay, the past was enshrined.

    And as the seasons turned with a gentle caress,
    The rose revealed to the wind her distress,
    For in every ending, there lies a new beginning,
    In withering petals, the magic found its art.

    Dreams collided with the weight of the night,
    Each heartbeat a spell, flickers of light and dark,
    In twilight’s grasp, her memories ignited like flames,
    Fleeting shadows of instants lost to the night.

    Beneath the dark sky, silence twisted and bent,
    The withered rose waited, where sorrow descended.
    Each sigh became a lament, each desire a still end.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Dead Dreams

    Dead Dreams

    Dead dreams haunted
    the hollow realm,
    where forgotten hopes withered
    beneath a sky
    of perpetual dusk.

    Once, this place had been
    crowded with life,
    with hope,
    with the vibrant pulse of chance.
    But those days were long gone,
    and now the only inhabitants
    were ghosts
    of forgotten desires.

    Regret lingered
    as sharp and suffocating as smoke,
    tainting everything
    it touched.

    Dead dreams lingered
    in the corners,
    hiding in the cracks of walls,
    in the dust that coated
    every room.

    The house was falling apart,
    its bones creaking
    under the strain of time.

    The windows were broken,
    the doors hanging loose
    on their hinges,
    and yet something remained—
    a presence, invisible,
    undeniable,
    watched from the shadows.

    Dead dreams whispered
    through the air,
    soft voices,
    insistent.

    They spoke
    of what could have been,
    of paths not taken,
    of futures lost.

    Their words wound
    through the halls,
    pulling deeper
    into the heart
    of decay.

    The walls seemed to close in,
    the rooms growing smaller,
    more suffocating.

    The air was thick with dust,
    with the weight
    of years.

    Dead dreams never indeed die;
    they fade,
    becoming one with shadows,
    with silence.

    The house would stand forever,
    a monument
    to what was lost,
    to what could never
    be reclaimed.

    In the end,
    it would claim all,
    just as it had claimed
    those who came before.

    There was no escape
    from the dead dreams.

    They lingered on
    long afterlife
    had left.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Lost Desires

    Lost Desires

    In the chamber, dust collects on dreams,
    Lost desires whisper through the seams.
    Love letters yellowed with time,
    Words once fervent now seem like a crime.

    Fading photographs on the wall,
    Captured moments where shadows fall.
    Once vibrant hopes, now ghostly shades,
    Mirrors of deception cast enigmatic spells.

    A wilted rose waits in a forgotten vase,
    Each petal is a token of a vanished grace.
    Promises whispered beneath the moon,
    Now drift like leaves, a sorrowful tune.

    The clock chimes softly, a distant sound,
    Reminders of dreams buried underground.
    Longings linger like phantom’s sighs,
    What was lost cannot be denied.

    In the mirror’s reflection, a vacant stare,
    Lost desires haunt, a weight hard to bear.
    The heart aches for what might have been,
    For love unfulfilled, trapped in between.

    In empty passageways, the shadows play,
    Reminders of what slipped away.
    Conversations linger in the air,
    While silence echoes, a vacant glare.

    The fireplace crackles, its warmth long gone,
    Remembrances flicker like the break of dawn.
    Once shared moments, now bittersweet tales,
    As wandering through the halls of defeat.

    With every tear, a wish dissolves,
    In the abyss of sorrow, the heart twists.
    However, still, mortals chase those fading lights,
    In the hollow dark of endless nights.

    Lost desires bind like invisible chains,
    Each yearning whisper amplifies the pain.
    Finally, in the stillness, there lies a spark of darkness,
    A flicker of dismay lights up the eternity.

    Every heart mourns what’s lost to time,
    In the forsaken lore of lost desires,
    Among mysterious myths of love and longing,
    Forever undisclosed.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Delightful Anguish

    Delightful Anguish

    Delightful anguish hid behind a mask of twisted delight,
    A paradox that ensnared the heart,
    Casting a spell on those who attempted to escape the dismay,
    The pain, exquisite, wrapped around the spirit,
    Familiar yet haunting in its embrace,
    Filling the void with a tender sadness.

    Each moment of sorrow disguised in beauty,
    Where despair changed into torment,
    The gleaming mirth intertwined with grief,
    Crafting melodies that resonated in the void,
    A haunting hymn that played on repeat,
    A serenade of loss and longing intertwined.

    Faces appeared in fleeting visions,
    Their wicked grins shone bright and dimmed by time,
    In their presence was a savoured longing,
    Each memory became a bittersweet reminder,
    Of what was cherished and what slipped away,
    The delicate balance of joy and pain.

    In quiet moments, the weight of the past descended,
    A heavy curtain draped over the spirit,
    Each sigh was loaded with the scent of regret,
    A heady mixture of nostalgia and sorrow,
    Delightful anguish blossomed in the heart’s chamber,
    Nurtured by tears that fell like rain.

    Shadows danced along the gloomy walls,
    Revealing fragile scraps of emotion thriving in darkness,
    In this sanctuary of sorrow,
    Pain transformed into captivating masterworks,
    Allowing the heart to embrace its contradictions,
    Finding beauty in the ashes of despair.

    Eventually, delightful anguish lingered,
    A monument to the complexity of mortal emotions,
    A reminder that even in sorrow, beauty thrived,
    The prom continued, a timeless waltz,
    Of loss and longing, forever entwined,
    A bittersweet journey through the maze of the heart.

    Delightful anguish wove through each thought,
    Entwining past and present in a delicate embrace,
    Where memories shimmered like fleeting stars,
    Creating a tapestry of love and loss,
    Illuminating the shadows with soft light,
    A reminder that beauty flourished amidst sorrow.

    In the quiet, hope flickered like a candle,
    Embracing the fragility of existence,
    An echo of resilience, whispering softly,
    That even in darkness, love found a way,
    To mend the fractured soul, weaving grace.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Shattered Expectations

    Shattered Expectations

    Shattered expectations lay heavy,
    Upon a once-bright horizon,
    Casting gloom over whispered promises,
    Dreams shattered like fragile glass,
    Each shard reflected unrealised aspirations,
    Their brilliance was dulled by the sting of reality.

    In an instant of fracture,
    The future darkened with despair,
    The heartfelt, sharp sting of disillusionment,
    Every step forward met with waves of grief,
    Dragging the spirit into a pit of sorrow,
    Where hope became a distant memory.

    The sky was loaded with clouds and forgotten ambitions,
    Each gust of wind was a reminder of paths diverged,
    Faces that once gleamed with potential,
    Now, they wore masks of resignation,
    Eyes clouded with the weight of disappointment,
    The spark of hope extinguished too soon.

    Time, relentless in its march,
    Became a cruel companion,
    Each tick of the clock was a reminder
    Of the opportunities that slipped away,
    Moments scattered like shards of mirrors,
    Reflecting the painful truth of what could have been.

    In this desolation, nefarious thoughts persisted,
    What had been could never be reclaimed,
    The world spun on, indifferent to grief,
    Each sunrise bore the weight of shattered dreams,
    And a quiet acceptance began to take root,
    Acknowledging that some dreams were never meant to flourish.

    Amid the gloom of bygone days,
    Traces of forsaken desires lingered,
    A haunting reminder of what was lost,
    And even in the depths of hope,
    No flicker of resilience could have sparked,
    Leaving only shadows where dreams once thrived.

    Shattered expectations became remote relics,
    As the heart learned to wander through the darkness,
    Searching for echoes in a desolate chamber,
    Where shadows coiled like serpents of despair.

    Each bit of void swallowed oppressively in silence,
    And dreams, like spectres, faded into the gloom,
    In the quietness, a haunting sorrow lingered.

    In shadows, regret festered,
    A reminder of lost prospects,
    Trapped in a labyrinth of misery.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Dead Desires

    Dead Desires

    Dead desires lingered like ghosts,
    Hovering over ruins of faded aspirations,
    The giggles of delight that once filled the air turned to despair,
    A reminder of desires that withered away,
    Like autumn leaves crumbling into dust,
    Beneath the weight of relentless time.

    In the stillness of forsaken dreams,
    Shadows swirled under the tree of hopes that once thrived,
    Weaving through remnants of a forgotten past,
    Each piece of yearning faded into the void,
    As the heart’s vibrant ache succumbed to silence,
    Lost in the echoes of what could have been.

    Days, once painted in vivid hues,
    Became shrouded in muted greys,
    Each moment became a cruel reminder,
    Of warmth that slipped through fingers,
    The chill of time’s cruel embrace
    Froze every hope into lifelessness.

    A single tear traced a path down a cheek,
    Carrying the burden of unfulfilled wishes,
    The heart, once a vessel of fervour,
    Now beat with a hollow rhythm,
    A metronome marking unachieved desires,
    Each tick resonated with loss.

    Dead desires drifted like fallen leaves,
    Words unspoken, deeply felt,
    In the stillness, they hung heavy,
    As the moon illuminated the decay of hope,
    Scattering dreams like ashes in the wind,
    Leaving only shadows of what had been.

    As twilight approached, the air grew colder,
    Each breath was a reminder of dreams abandoned,
    The heart ached for the fire it once held,
    Now, only embers remained,
    Smouldering in the corners of a darkened soul,
    A monument to the dead desires that lingered on.

    In the quiet corners of memory,
    The shadows whispered tales of longing,
    The paths not taken became a haunting refrain,
    As the heart learned to dwell in the silence,
    Embracing the sorrow that filled the void,
    Finding beauty in the ashes of dreams.

    Dead desires echoed through the aisles of time,
    A haunting melody of what might have been,
    Reverberating through the deepest depths of the abyss,
    And, in their sight, the heart understood,
    That within each ember lay a spark of hope,
    A reminder that even in loss, tragedy can unveil meaning.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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