Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: obsession

  • Softly In Silence

    Softly In Silence

    Softly in silence, I lie to hide all the deception and lies from my naive heart
    I had to endure an existence of deceit and coercion
    Like a nightmare ghoul oppressing my pale slumber
    In an eternal night of haunting memories and wail

    I had constantly desired to be cherished and loved in vain
    I would have rather been remembered for my art than for my beauty
    So I preferred to hide behind my shield of silence and vanish into the ephemeral aether
    Like the mystic smoke from a burning flame

    Alas, in this silence, I remained quietly still like a crystal gem
    I was a withered bloom in a winter’s storm
    Unseen, unloved, forgotten
    Cradled in the embrace of the darkness

    I did not live for the sake of grace but for the grief
    Each heartbeat was woven in the dimness
    I was but a ghost wishing only to be mourned before bleeding my heart out
    Exanimate, I was sinking into a chaotic ecstasy of sorrow

    The eternal night cherished all my forbidden secrets
    Since I was forever bound to the dim dusk
    And every instant was midnight only for me
    Because I had obliterated time permanently

    I was born just as a punishment by the hands of my wicked fate
    Even the gleaming stars of the midnight sky had no mercy
    They stared at me indifferently as if my existence was just a futility
    I had lost every privilege to dream

    Just for a moment, I strived to change my fortune
    But I had no more strength to continue to exist
    All that I could do was stare at the walls of my dark chamber and fantasise
    I let the realm of dreams and absurdities swallow me

    I had to say goodbyes to the reality and normality
    I became a creature of a world of folly and oddities
    Only frenzies raptured my heart violently, and I let them in
    Softly in silence, I fell into the abyss of my own affliction.
    Elisabetta

  • Torments Are My Delight

    Torments Are My Delight

    Torments are my delight and bliss
    I love to feel a pang piercing my heart
    I love to pine for love devotionally
    I live only in my dreams like a fairy
    Flying lightly from one flower to another one

    I’m an ethereal creature belonging to phantasmagorias
    I’m a little spirit of the night
    My heart is avid of passions and desires
    In my secret garden of lush and extravagance
    Torments are my solace and mirth

    My fate is a turmoil of unknown chaos
    Not paying attention to my fears
    I live carelessly as every day is my last day
    My senses are intoxicated by the scent of extravagant flowers
    And let my body surrender to lust in my haven of lush

    I wear an exquisite and magnificent gown made of tragedy
    My ethereal wings carry me everywhere I wish
    In sadness, I find refuge under the shadows of ancient trees
    In joy, I relish pursuing my dreams of oddities
    Safety is not my favourite word in the dictionary because I adore nightmares

    Every night, I crave to be consumed by the passion of my darkest fantasies
    In the darkness, I burn with the desire to be pierced by agony
    Gloomy shadows whisper my name, enticing me closer
    As I feel an ecstatic pain, I hesitate to surrender
    I’m so lost in the euphoria of torment’s kiss

    Each sigh of mine is like a melody of forbidden delights
    When pleasure and pain entwine in an endless embrace
    I welcome the darkness as its touches are so exquisite and deep
    I become a creature made of fire and fiery lust
    A blaze burns my heart at every stroke

    Every kiss carves a searing scar of longing on my skin
    As a reminder of the desires consuming me whole
    And in the flames, I’m reborn like a blooming blossom
    Torments are my delight and I surrender to the sweet agony of my lusts.
    Elisabetta

  • Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal Madness

    Subliminal madness dragged me deep into the dungeon of torment and despair
    A fortress where I couldn’t fly with my imagination
    An isolated island of sorrow and heartache
    Chained by the moans of my own thoughts

    Hence, I started to seek shadows instead of light
    I wandered lost in the wilderness and surrounded by absolute silence
    I became a captive to the memories and echoes of the past
    With the certitude that a wicked fate ruled my existence

    All the mirrors around me sought in vain to reveal the mystery within myself
    In the gloom of their cryptic tales
    For I could not comprehend their bizarre words
    Because they were just utterances lost in the infinite void

    In that abyss of subliminal madness
    The relentless wind of laments was blowing against me
    Gelid arrows that pierced through my body
    Fragments of anguish that were sharp daggers

    Profound wounds were carved on my heart
    Too deep for time to mend or forget
    Bleeding sorrows staining the hours
    Instants marked by silent screams

    Grief became a solemn veil that shrouded me
    Memories burned like inextinguishable flames
    And all that remained were ashes of dreams scattered in the wind
    Beneath the moonless dark sky of my endless night

    Nothing remained to me
    Not even a flake of hope
    Not even a fragment of a dream
    But only a subliminal madness to relieve my tragedy

    In silence and solitude
    My life was merely a paroxysm of darkness
    A frenzy of obscure nightmares chased me
    I could only sigh at the sound of raindrops getting me through

    In this desolate maze of endless sadness
    Not even a flicker of defiance was burning within me
    I couldn’t hear any whisper of solace
    I crawled through the mist of my own despair

    The shadows that once enticed me now suffocated me
    And the silence, once my treasured haven, transformed into a dungeon
    Whenever I strived to chase the faintest pleasure
    I was left aimless and shattered

    I still couldn’t find a realm beyond this dark veil
    A world where torments were no longer my torturers
    Hence, I was bound to this endless darkness
    And my heart was filled with subliminal madness.
    Elisabetta

  • The Magnificent Abyss

    The Magnificent Abyss

    The magnificent abyss of infinite darkness
    Was my blissful place where I could embrace my inner chaos
    Given that I loved to embrace my own darkness and I always will
    While sorrow made me become a creature of the shadows

    Indeed, my soul sought the shadows of the night
    My heart was fed with nightmares and anguish
    Despair was my greatest comfort and companion
    Since I was an ethereal entity made of dust of decay

    No mirror could reflect my image
    So much infinite I was inside myself
    So many fragments were part of my heart
    I was an infinite multitude of beings in a world that never existed

    Sublime wonders blossomed around me
    Beneath the shining moon that accompanied the sun
    Everything was glimmering in all its splendour
    I was magic and so was the realm where I was living

    The moon and the sun were my devoted cohorts
    They guided me in my journey through darkness
    I became a creature made of light and shadow
    In the magnificent abyss of infinite bewilderment

    The endless night embraced me softly
    Because I was both darkness and sunshine
    Shining glitters of beauty fell all over me
    And I faded into the ominous void

    As glowing, fleeting stars vanished in the eternal night
    So did I disappear, only to reappear forevermore
    And I drifted through phantasmagorical realms
    Where every dream of mine became reality

    I became a whisper in the storm and an inextinguishable flame in the twilight
    The magnificent abyss was my dwelling
    Where chaos and quietness coexisted together

    In an endless dance of glare and dusk
    I discovered both my demise and my endless obsessions
    I became a foolish paradox and wild creature of the night
    A magic witch and ethereal fairy flying everywhere with beautiful wings made of stardust.
    Elisabetta

  • Lost In My Thoughts

    Lost In My Thoughts

    Lost in my thoughts like a leaf is carried away by the wind
    In my garden of forbidden fruits and poisonous flowers
    Noticing all the colours and scents in their variety
    As I approach them, they reveal their secrets to me

    Memories stroke me like soft petals
    While I dream about the infinity of the universe
    As I explore the city streets among light and darkness
    Contemplating the sublimity of the stars

    In my loneliness, my only companion is my shadow, following me everywhere I go
    And I slowly realised that all my existence had been an illusion
    A delusional dream that enclosed me in a crystal cage
    And enslaved by my obsessions, I strive to survive

    I always find myself thinking about him, even though it has been a while since I last saw him
    His smile and voice made me melt like a snowflake under the sun of his beautiful soul
    Crying because I miss him, although I don’t know him
    Being so far yet so close, I surrender to my senses, bedazzled by love and frightened by the unknown

    I feel like a red flame bird soaring high in the sky
    Reaching for the stars in a firmament of diamonds and corals
    Only to fall down into the dim chasm of my anguish
    Where all my teardrops had created a blustery ocean

    My name is carved in every star as soon as I touch them
    And lost in my thoughts, I wish that my desires may be realised
    Delusional and silly, I’ve always been waiting for blessings and happiness
    Although all that I could see was an empty desert of sad desolation

    Remaining awake and dazzled, I try to realise that all my existence didn’t make any sense
    My unique hope relies on my dreams and illusions
    Therefore, I feel aghast by my disdainful fears and insecurities
    While I get lost in my dangerous thoughts.
    Elisabetta

  • A Pang In My Heart

    A Pang In My Heart

    A pang in my heart is stabbing me like a dagger
    A wild storm initiated an endless turmoil
    Like a ritual of initiation that crumples my soul
    And the obsessive feelings of burning love

    Astonished to have lost the ability to control my senses
    Like a nocturnal butterfly doomed to be burnt to flame
    When she is attracted by the betrayal of an innocent flame
    Lost in the darkness of the night

    My will is enslaved to the lust of my senses
    A treacherous journey in the midst of a tempest
    Bewildered and bewitched by a wonderful stranger
    Only destiny knows what will occur in the ethereal world of my dreams

    A mesmerising enchantment captivates me to never let me free
    Wandering in total obscurity with no direction
    Feeling a fever of anguishes and hopes
    While an incessant rain is falling over me

    Unlock doors let me think about you
    As I would love to be there at that precise moment close to you
    Even in silence while I cannot stop crying
    Because I would love us to be immortal lovers

    Time passes but not my love for you
    Whose name is still unknown in my heart
    I wish you could have been reading these verses
    But I have the certitude that you will never read them

    Sobbing and sighing I open the window of chaos
    Embracing my inner tumult and apathetically breathing as I write
    Is there a chance of meeting someone by destiny?
    I always wonder about the reasons, but never about the surprises of life

    I lost hope and I dismissed myself to let stupor dismay me
    While I cannot stop thinking about you
    While I cannot stop loving you
    Even if I’m just an anonymous neighbour of yours

    I only treasure the spare and casual moments I had encountered you
    In real life and in my dreams
    And never forget about you
    While a pang in my heart stabs me deeply.
    Elisabetta

  • Luscious Desires

    Luscious Desires

    Luscious desires bloomed under the shape of extravagant flowers,
    In the nighttime darkness, they loved to glow in all their lush,
    A manifestation of boldness and imprudence.

    Every sculpture in this luscious garden was corrupted by the scent of triviality,
    A labyrinth where unaware visitors
    Usually delusional dreamers,
    Strolled, losing themselves.

    Time did not exist anymore,
    Luscious dreams became a habit
    During each slumber,
    In this realm of obsessions and paranoias.

    Sanity had lost its fight against madness,
    Irrational and luscious desires ruled this magical world,
    Where lavish and luxurious flowers bloomed in all their senseless beauty.

    Fountains of forgetfulness adorned the garden,
    Their waters shimmering under the starry night sky,
    Whispering promises of escape, yet luring only deeper into oblivion.

    Every path led to the same abyss,
    A void where reality blurred,
    And time became an abstract illusion,
    Lost in the haze of perpetual dusk.

    The air was rich with the fragrance of opulence,
    A perfume that clouded the slumbers,
    Numbing reason while igniting an insatiable longing
    For more—more dreams, more madness, more of the luscious delirium.

    Dreamers wandered endlessly,
    Their imprints were muffled by the overgrown vines,
    Each lost in their own reverie,
    Each captive to the garden’s seduction.

    No voice of reason could pierce this veil,
    For even the stars above had forgotten their course,
    Twinkling aimlessly in a sky that no longer cared for order.

    This occult realm, once rooted in the soil of desire,
    Had spiralled into a darkened utopia,
    Where all that was lush and beautiful
    Became the seeds of profound and inescapable chaos.

    Luscious desires flourished, wilder and more feral.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Stalking Nightmares

    Stalking Nightmares

    Stalking nightmares wandered through the garden of wonders,
    Descending like a toxic fog over the meadows and flowers,
    They whispered sweet deceptions to those who dared to wander in dreams.

    Dark illusions were blossoming in the eternal night,
    Under a firmament devoid of luminaries and flames,
    The only enjoyment and delight was the horrid stare of fearless ghouls.

    The love for obsession became a tapestry of thorns,
    Feeding their roots with the blood of incautious dreamers and believers,
    As a game of subjugation of cruel torments with shining grins.

    Stalking nightmares deprived of life and future,
    As demonic vampires devoid of any righteous scruples and empathy,
    Striving to annihilate and destroy every blameless flower.

    Fading stars were just a jest and amusement,
    For those who were not aware of their sparkling lights,
    Ghosts who danced in shadows, lost in their plight.

    Every naivety lured by haunting whispers of dreams turned to ash,
    Each petal was a dagger, sharp with hidden secrets,
    Under the spell of a wicked gloominess, avid of dreams.

    Stalking nightmares, stubborn blooms breaking through the frigid soil,
    With roots entwined in enigmas of unrevealed arcane,
    In a conflict between shadows and flickers of dawn.

    In the abyss of dread, dark winds did howl,
    Swaying brittle stalks of nightmares, thin and foul,
    Beneath the moonless sky, there were plenty of threatening clouds.

    Tangled vines of dismay, tangled in despair,
    Stifling the seeds of hope and joy,
    While a storm of shadows thickened the languid air.

    Stalking nightmares revelled in their reign,
    Like ghouls with bared teeth and eyes of fire,
    Oblivious to the change beneath their feet.

    Their shadows were triumphant, blind to the garden’s cries,
    In the realm of forgotten souls crumbling into dust.
    In this twilight domain, where agonies convened,
    The garden pleaded in vain to turn nightmares into beauty.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Mirror Of Fear

    The Mirror Of Fear

    The mirror of fear
    Shattered glass—
    Cracked reflection—
    Is that me?
    No—it can’t be—
    Distorted—twisted—
    Who is that?
    Who am I?
    The mirror—
    It shows something—
    Something dark—
    Something deceitful.

    The mirror of fear lies—
    It must lie—
    Or is it showing the truth?
    A truth I don’t want to see—
    A truth I fear.
    Fear…Dread
    It grips—tightens—
    The mirror shows it all—
    Every flaw—
    Every terror—
    Reflected back—
    No escape—
    Not from yourself—
    Not from the mirror.

    It watches—
    Always watches—
    Those eyes—
    Are they mine?
    They can’t be—
    Too dark—
    Too hollow—
    But they follow—
    Wherever I move—
    The reflection never leaves—
    It knows—
    It sees—
    Everything.
    A shadow—
    A figure—
    Behind me?
    Or just in the mirror?

    Cracks scatter—
    Fractures grow—
    But the reflection remains—
    Staring—
    Waiting—
    For what?
    For me to break—
    Like the glass—
    Like the mirror.
    Fear consumes—
    And the mirror of fear…
    It always knows.
    What hides within it—
    What it shows—
    It knows—
    More than me—
    It sees—
    What I won’t see.

    A scream—
    But is it mine?
    Or the mirror’s?
    Does it scream?
    Can it scream?
    Or is it just my mind?
    Falling—crumbling—
    The mirror cracks—
    Splinters—
    But still, it holds—
    It doesn’t shatter—
    It never shatters—
    Even as I do—
    Even as fear takes hold—
    The mirror of fear endures death—
    Watching—
    Knowing—
    Waiting…
    For the final crash.

    The mirror’s surface—
    It pulses—
    As if breathing—
    A living thing—
    Alive with my fears—
    Alive with my anxieties.
    I reach—
    To touch—
    But my hand recoils—
    From the cold—
    From the reflection—
    It never changes—
    Yet it shifts—
    A living enigma—
    Reflecting truths I can’t grasp—
    The more I look—
    The more it shifts—
    Revealing the darkest secrets
    Of my own mind—
    The mirror of fear—
    It waits—
    For me to accept and understand—
    For me to shatter in the endless darkness.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Twisted Obsessions

    Twisted Obsessions

    Twisted obsessions of failed dreams,
    In the darkened corners of the subconscious,
    Where shadows unleashed dreams unwound,
    A world of obsessions, all alone.

    Whispers echoed through the sordid obscurity,
    Drawing wraiths to forbidden lights,
    A touch, a sigh, a fleeting glance,
    Lost in the thrall of a reckless trance.

    Desires stolen and broken, out of reach,
    Longings hidden, cruel and true,
    Yearning for those invisible chimaeras the day denied,
    In silent, shamed, and sleazy cries.

    Souls that sought what they should shun,
    Minds that ached for the undone,
    In a labyrinth of illusions and betrayal,
    Obsessions took their hidden refuge.

    A tangled web of despair and loss,
    A dungeon where dark passions bred,
    Haunted in a ghostly daze,
    Lost forever in a damning swirl.

    A gloom and spark remained amidst the chains of dissolution,
    On the deepest night, twisted obsessions ensnared all the dreamers,
    In an abyss of despair and fear with no turning points,
    Even if hope was not a lost cause.

    Twisted obsessions of gloomy fates were the cruel rulers of chaotic existences,
    Once again, they were reborn each nighttime,
    Under the influence of an uncertain order of arcane forces.

    Numbness and slumber remained faithful companions of painful reveries,
    Whenever the desire for despair and sorrow trapped every delight,
    In the midst of the chaos and unknown,
    A game of subjugation and delirium.

    Twisted obsessions and sad insanities,
    Danced on the edges of broken hearts,
    Feeding on the remnants of the soundness of mind,
    Spinning tales of endless binds.

    Sighs of broken promises were released,
    Only to fall into the most profound distress of the night,
    Where shadows became the only lonely and friendly essences,
    And the sun’s happiness was out of sight.

    In such a realm, where reality was fractured,
    Dreams and fears became a forest of drear,
    A fictitious masquerade of hopes defiled,
    By the weight of twisted time.

    Indeed, in the heart of this desolation,
    Every gleam of delight faded away,
    Souls were swallowed by the dark embrace,
    And lost dreams continued to fray.

    Twisted obsessions, relentless and cold,
    Fractured every delight into a shattered mould,
    Leaving behind a void where hope had once dwelled.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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