Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: poetic darkness

  • Mournful Shadows

    Mournful Shadows

    In the stillness of the night, the sky was stormy and overcrowded with lightning and thunder. Rain was pouring down, and the wind was impetuous.

    The exquisite scent of rainwater perfumed my small chamber from which I glimpsed the dark and stormy landscape.

    Chaos and order alternated in my bleak soul, full of grief. A piercing funereal pain had gripped my entire essence.

    Intrusive thoughts and faded hopes crowded my mind as if they were unwelcome intruders, not invited by me.

    Joy and darkness unfolded like buds in my soul, becoming thorny briars that wounded my heart and tore apart my being.

    The bright sun, dethroned in the sky by great threatening and dark clouds in a midsummer storm, was no longer on my visual horizon, making me reflect on my bleak and mortal fate, which condemned me to a sense of perpetual anguish.

    It was as if I had lost the ability to express all that I felt in my heart, the most hidden secrets and concealed truths that I had never been able to reveal to any mortal.

    My fragility had become my only resource—my shattering into pieces and severing from the source of life, from every source of life—had made me like a dead flower in a solitary valley, where a majestic and deserted tower saw its reflection in a ridiculous, nearly nonexistent pond.

    My fragility had become my only resource—my shattering into pieces and severing from the source of life, from every source of life—had made me like a dead flower in a solitary valley, where a majestic and deserted tower saw its reflection in a ridiculous, nearly nonexistent pond.

    Mournful shadows ruled over me.
    They were the ones who decided my path and my fate.
    They were invisible, yet present—and immensely powerful.
    I felt like a doll, a puppet, at the mercy of their whimsical desires and decisions.

    And so I perished,
    by the hand of my own fears,
    by the hand of my own funeral anguish,
    And I became a mournful shadow myself,
    No different from the others.
    Lisa

  • The Well Of Phantom Wishes

    The Well Of Phantom Wishes

    The well of phantom wishes
    Was the well of my disappointments
    Of all those illusions
    That had deceived me
    In a malevolent way
    With their allure
    And their way of
    Misleading me
    With fake smiles and phrases
    Like lines from a script
    But in truth, it was all fake
    Every single thing
    And every
    One I had known, glimpsed
    Were nothing but
    Delusional
    Realities
    Beneath
    A deception
    A cruel deception
    That dragged me down
    Into that well
    So deep and so dark
    That I could not glimpse
    Any
    Vision
    Any hope

    My tears were of no use, nor was my despair.
    My broken heart had shattered, like a crystal or stone ornament,
    its translucence and splendour reduced to dust and fragments,
    soiled by the cold ground, soaked in mud and decadent filth.
    That beauty I had once cherished within me
    had turned into a twisted transfiguration of my own reflection.

    What remained in my hands was dust and decay.
    I closed my eyes, and silence shrouded my thoughts,
    making them vague and fleeting like dark shadows
    that moved around me but I could never reach.

    One of my silver bracelets that shone like stars broke,
    and through its fractures, you could read my life’s illness,
    My malaise of living, my melancholic soul
    that had no peace and could find no place of salvation,
    lost among the clouds that darkened my mind.

    The pain was raining down on me like one of those cold and biting winter rains.
    Almost as if it wanted to scratch me and leave marks like painful and distressing memories that followed me wherever I went at any time.

    My sighs and sobs were mystified by that funeral silence of the endless night which had neither beginning nor end, and which wrapped me in its dark and misty cloak, almost to intoxicate me with its gloom and make me forget my infinite pain.
    Lisa

  • The Vault Of Forsaken Keys

    The Vault Of Forsaken Keys

    The vault of forsaken keys was the place of shadows and mysteries, of wisdom and madness, and where the keys of all the world, beyond the earthly and the earthly, were kept. It is not known to what or to whom they belonged, yet they seemed to guard secrets that no one could know.

    As dark and gloomy as this cavern of fantasy and greed might seem, of recession and generosity, it had a particular charm, a sobriety so composed that it impressed me for the order and at the same time the madness that hovered in those ancient and decrepit halls.

    The scent of incense and ancient metal impregnated the air, which was coloured by semi-shadows, by metallic reflections that the shadows cast upon the walls.

    The endless and long corridors spread out into an infinite labyrinth impossible to decipher. Without being able to find an exact direction. But one constant thing was the vision of a light like a perpetual faint glow at the end of these corridors. And the more I proceeded, the more I found no end. It was as if I had remained trapped in that underground and undefined place from which I was certain I could no longer escape. Because in fact there was no way out. And I was destined to become one of the countless and anonymous metal keys arranged on the walls.

    My freedom had been devoured by that unnamed and unfindable place. My troubles and cries were worth nothing, I only lost my breath. It was as if gradually I was losing the faculty to perceive my breath. And it was as if I was transforming into something else.

    I never knew if I was dreaming. I never knew if I was a common mortal, a being born on a planet. Or, instead, I was the fruit of my own imagination and I do not know what I was, what I had originated from. I too felt like one of those countless keys, in that vault of forsaken keys.
    Lisa

  • Beneath The Hollow Moon

    Beneath The Hollow Moon

    Beneath the hollow moon, I wandered behind shadows
    It seemed like a dream but it felt very tangible
    It was an ethereal feeling mixed with physical perceptions
    In a secret garden made of dead trees and withered blossoms

    The ephemeral veil of the night enveloped me
    I was an invisible creature of the night
    Hiding from mortal sight and dreaming with open eyes
    My visions and hallucinations had become reality

    The haze of darkness cast a spell on me
    Odd spirits offered me to drink from a goblet of poison
    It was a magic potion of oblivion and poison
    Whilst I sipped it, I fell into a deep slumber

    I had forgotten my name and the place where I dwelled
    I had become a ghost and a shadow of the night
    Imperceptible even to the stars and the moon
    I was lost in the labyrinth of my own nightmares

    I waited not for my death because I was no longer a mortal
    The sorrow and distress of the human world didn’t touch me anymore
    I was the darkness and the night
    Empowered but still a captive of this arcane underworld

    Every part of my incorporeal body belonged to this dungeon of royal decadence
    A victim of haunting eerie dreams, I had no other place where to go
    It didn’t matter how long I could have screamed my memories
    Nothing changed, and my fate stayed unaffected

    I had traded my freedom for a kingdom of death and ethereal phantasmagoria
    Beneath the hollow moon, I wandered endlessly
    Seeking my lost heart in the maze of resentment and silver coffrets full of secrets
    And each sigh of mine transformed into a raven rose.

    A heart full of sorrow and a crown of black roses on my head
    Nothing else.
    Elisabetta

  • Teardrops Of Expectation

    Teardrops Of Expectation

    Teardrops of expectation accompanied me on my silent nights
    When my solitude was a phantom visiting me during my feverish slumber
    I left the real world because I knew I couldn’t belong to it
    In the end, I was a creature of the darkness
    Craving for mystery and arcane revelations

    I knew not what was expecting me
    The unknown was my gloomy path made of unstable cobblestones and thorns
    I may have desired that my dreams could become true
    Nevertheless, I was the silent muse of sadness and the embodiment of grief
    I stood in the middle of my dark chamber, waiting for a sign

    My mind was full of hallucinations and demise
    I couldn’t find myself and the meaning of my existence
    I was there still like a marble sculpture and my heart was a cold stone
    Nothing could ever break my bones anymore
    I embraced my fears and my doomed fate

    Drops of gold and dust descended from the ancient walls
    It was like even the walls were weeping my anguish
    I became dizzy and weaker like a small petal falling from its flower
    I was not like other mortals because I was an ethereal spirit
    Living in a castle of decay and forsaken vestiges

    Death was part of my being as long as the eternal void surrounded me
    The soft melodies of the past had departed from my reality
    Where I was, the reality was obliterated as well as time
    Despair transformed into a surreal garden of oblivion and madness
    Full of dead spirits and shrieking ghouls

    Teardrops of expectation softly caressed my heart
    As if my waiting were the apex of broken moons dripping onto vacant meadows
    While silent masks bloomed from the soil
    And I dissolved as a nameless ghost into the shadows of forgotten kingdoms
    Beyond every imagination.
    Elisabetta

  • Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked up in my fantasies
    Aware of my unawareness
    Softly indulging in my pleasant decay
    Falling into the trap of loneliness
    In an existence deprived of love and delight
    My desires and fantasies became the only salvation

    I knew not how long I’d been locked up in my realm
    Lovely dreams visited my feeble slumber
    On the silent nights, protected by the shadows of ghosts
    Waiting for some fallen luminary to glimmer sparkles toward me
    I lingered through eternity
    In the darkness of my mind

    Confused and dismayed I wandered in my loneliness
    Starving delight and merriment
    As I was doomed to a cruel and infamous fate
    Nothing I could have accomplished to change the course of occurrences
    I was chained to a sinking boat
    While hearing the screams of spirits haunting me

    Until my very last day of existence
    The infamous tyranny to which I had been enslaved, had disposed of my life
    My heart was crumbled to dust of decay
    My body was the representation of dread and abuse
    Time was not anymore the master of my life
    As I became part of the realm of the dead

    The sun no longer shone upon me
    Instead, the tempestuous clouds obscured all the stars
    Leaving me sightless for the deep obscurity of the night
    I was not anymore aware of my lugubre surroundings
    Trapped within my own nightmares
    Disregarded by the world outside

    I floated into an endless silence
    Each gust was a sigh fading in the void
    I sought fragments of my sparkling and fleeting dreams
    Where once there was love, now only shadows had remained
    My mind had become a labyrinth of dead fantasies
    I stumbled through the graveyard of shadows

    Chasing glimmers of elation I could never grasp
    As each vision slipped away like grains of sand
    The cold embrace of solitude came to be my only companion
    While I longed for the glimmer of a flame that would never ignite
    The wicked claws of my destiny held me captive
    Tugging at the fabric of my fragile hope

    I still lingered in the darkest of prisons
    Where even the faintest flicker of rebellion was obliterated
    In the end, I was nothing but a fading star
    Falling from the sky of my own illusions
    To be swallowed entirely by the noiseless abyss of darkness
    I was locked up in my fantasies, made of void and oblivion
    Where my dreams dissolved into nothingness.
    Elisabetta

  • In Chaos And Madness

    In Chaos And Madness

    In chaos and madness, I’ve got lost while dreaming
    It was as if I could see only with my soul but not with my eyes
    The realm I found myself in was just an illusion of my own imagination
    Wandering around among fantasies and hallucinations

    I became aware that everything was going to be destroyed
    Death and obliteration were waiting for me and my realm of dreams
    Behind every bliss of mine, there was a tragic ache that carved wounds on my body
    A hopeless loneliness was the only flower blooming in my garden

    Sordid was the soil on which I trembled with dread and fear
    Where each flower was watered by illusions and embedded in despair
    Each petal bled with loss and remorse at the feet of the fountain of disdain
    And I felt overwhelmed by the dizziness swaying between chaos and madness

    I couldn’t see any creature on the darkest night I have ever attended
    While the silence had devoured every sound, it left the pounding of my heart to hunt me
    I was torn from my world of daydreams to be cast into a realm of annihilation and grieve
    And became part of the garden of dead trees

    Every sensation and memory muted into a scar
    Every teardrop became part of that fountain of grief
    The roots of each hollow tree chained me to the cold soil
    I was one of the several withered flowers in that garden of insanity

    The instability of my condition was assured by my bound to decadence
    I swore my oath to the thorns that crowned my garden of roses and frenzy
    Delirium and ecstasy possessed my bleeding heart
    All the longings of mine were buried deeply into the abyss of eternity

    I screamed my despair, and I cried teardrops of blood
    In chaos and madness, I had become the darkness and wickedness
    I was the queen of the night and eternity
    And the void belonged to me as long as I belonged to the realm of death and oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • The Bloom Of Oblivion

    The Bloom Of Oblivion

    The bloom of oblivion flourished everywhere
    The flowers of destruction and decay bloomed
    They paved my way to the abyss of death I was destined to follow
    Without hesitation, I followed them with devotion and sacrifice

    I lost my wisdom and my resilience to embrace a doomed fate of distress
    Each night had become my day, and my sun was the moon shining silvery gleams
    A gloomy silence surrounded me as a funeral hymn
    My withered heart was my only guide

    I wept and cried to the night sky that echoed my laments
    Beneath the indifferent gaze of the stars that mocked me
    As if I was a miserable creature who had lost every direction
    No compass was showing me the path

    I was alone in loneliness and prostration
    I could hear the scream of death from time to time
    I knew that I was bound to despair, and my
    existence had ceased
    My appearance was similar to the ghouls I was encountering

    I had lost everything, and nothing could have redeemed my life
    No entity could ever rescue me from my obliteration
    I had buried all my dreams, and no consolation could alleviate my suffering
    I stared at the moon with my eyes full of tears, but nothing could have been altered

    I couldn’t perceive anymore the passing of time
    The graveyard where I ended up was so dreadful with its blooming flowers of oblivion
    Every flower was blooming as a withered blossom
    And all the trees were hollow and dead since innumerable epochs

    No wish of mine could ever be granted
    The bloom of oblivion was everywhere in the realm of death
    And I stood still like a porcelain sculpture without blood in its veins
    I had lost my soul, and my heart had withered irredeemably
    Love and desires resided no longer in my heart
    Since everything was nothingness, and I was a tiny part of the immense void.
    Elisabetta

  • The Shadows Of Affliction

    The Shadows Of Affliction

    The shadows of affliction hunted me in the night
    They awakened me in the middle of my slumber
    Like a fever that gripped my body with its sharp claws
    It always left me crying on my bed with a bleeding heart
    Submerged in my teardrops I kept my soul wide open
    As if I could get more dazed than the night before

    Echoes of my lost dreams resounded in my obscure chamber
    They made me feel like a withered flower with no hopes
    I was left, astray in the wasteland of silence
    As I was a forgotten spirit, I wandered among the ruins of my soul
    The abyss of void yelled my name to reclaim me as its beloved possession
    Because nothing more could have saved me

    If I could have erased all my distressing memories
    I would have lived a bearable existence in peace and calm
    Instead, I was doomed to eternal misery and the spasms of death
    I couldn’t find any key to the door that was keeping me locked in my struggle
    So many thoughts and fears were overcrowding my mind that I couldn’t tell
    I felt overwhelmed and dizzy as I was wandering in an endless maze without guides

    The shadows of affliction were cast over me like ominous ghosts
    I stood immobile since panic had grasped my heart
    The frosty breeze of the night froze my bones
    And every mirror I encountered never reflected my authentic image
    I didn’t remember my name anymore, and my purposes
    Climbing ivy curled like serpents, entwining me in veins of sorrow and silence

    From the instant I died, I was buried beneath layers of anguish as a captive of the underworld
    Chained to cry and despair amid the indifference of stars
    And the moonless night sky offered no comfort
    I had chosen to hide in the darkness and never reveal myself to the light
    With nothing left but a lifeless heart
    I had become one of the shadows of affliction.
    Elisabetta

  • I Belong To The Nightmares

    I Belong To The Nightmares

    I belong to the nightmares and the nightmares belong to me
    As long as my heart still beats I will be a creature of the darkness
    Anguish and distress are the reflections of me in every mirror I encounter
    I have no name but my past is an abyss of obliteration
    I have a dread of existing because I belong to death
    I possess the gift of scorn and indifference because nobody ever loved me
    I’ve always been despised and estranged by every shadow of this world
    I don’t belong to anyone not even to myself
    I belong to darkness and death
    Having lost all those treasures I’ve cherished so dearly
    Now I’m left with nothing but the dust of decay
    My bones and blood and heart belong to the underworld of death
    A realm that despises every miserable being parading their ridiculous triumphs with vain and frivolous pride

    I belong to the nightmares and the dungeons of madness
    I never follow the trail of soulless being of this material world
    I stand alone in my misery and proudly away from everyone
    I don’t need anyone belonging to humankind because I feel only rejection
    I’m a shadow of the night and my heart belongs to whom is not anymore with me
    I sealed my heart with ancient crimson wax made of my blood and tears
    Pride no longer belong to my ethereal sphere, where I decided to enclose myself to avoid the corruption of falsity and hollowness
    The silence that I chose to embrace is deeper than a grave
    In my sanctuary reserved for the broken and cursed spirits
    I despise the sunlight, and I devote my fetish to darkness
    In my veins flow only blood made of sorrows and black ink
    I have become the manifestation of all my screams that nobody ever heard.
    Elisabetta

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