Undisclosed secrets were kept inside antique grimoires like precious jewels well preserved in inaccessible treasure chests. While I was insensitive to the gripping cold wind of the night surrounding me, I fell into a state of torpor maintaining an absolute stillness. Although I had no particular attitude of letting events overwhelm me, I could not resist the escalation of events my fate decided to divulge to me. Memories drifted slowly through my mind, weighing down my heart like burdens too heavy to bear. That excruciating pain that tormented the deepest recesses of my heart had never left me alone, not even during the deepest sleep. And it was precisely in the deepest darkness that I rediscovered my secret refuge of peace and solitude. No mortal who happened upon those enchanting books would have been able to find—let alone decipher—the undisclosed secrets I myself had inscribed in my magical grimoires. Night became eternal, and I had become a creature of darkness, shunning the prying eyes of humankind, with whom I no longer had any connection. Silently, I listened to the melody of the stars gleaming in the gloomy sky like everlasting flames. The sound of faraway bells evoked spirits that seemed like the shadows of my fears, which had not yet dissolved into nothingness. The anguish I felt plunged me into an ocean of unease and a peculiar kind of mourning that deprived me of all my desires. Those undisclosed secrets I tried to preserve were no longer where I had placed them in the form of arcane symbols; in fact, my grimoires had become blank-page books immersed in the emptiness of oblivion. My memories faded away afterwards as if I were a creature with no past, living in a wintry realm where time had been obliterated. Regrets and disappointments turned my heart to stone, and nothing could touch my sensitive inner self anymore—not even the bitter, permanent loss of my most cherished undisclosed secrets.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: romantic gothic
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Undisclosed Secrets
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The Sun Of Dismay
The Sun of dismay irradiated its glowing rays of light all over me, as if I were not aware enough of my cruel fate. I wish I could have escaped from that hostile destiny, but I was bound to it by an eternal oath.
My sighs and tears could not arrest that tragic scenario poised to, all of a sudden, dismiss the totality of my most cherished dreams. Not even the nighttime legends and fairy tales could divert my attention.
The nocturnal echoes of the barn owls and nightjars interrupted my silent contemplation, every time I stared at the moon from my balcony adorned with ancient finds and magical manuscripts.
Beyond the horizon, I was not able to catch sight of anything else but my dreadful fears that filled my heart with a bitter anguish. And suddenly a freezing wind rose, freezing all the mirrors of my antique mansion.
The Sun of dismay didn’t appear anymore since the day I had decided to fall in love with my regrets and solitude. Nevertheless, far away, cast away from my memories, an obsolete shadow kept haunting the peaceful realm of my thoughts.
No candle dared to illuminate the darkness that dwelled in my realm of nightmares and oddities. My reflection in broken mirrors made me perceive that I was an evanescent hologram of my own imagination.
Was all that real or just a dream? A rocambolesque confusion suddenly struck me like a purely casual event. Surreal was everything I ever dreamed of and mostly the suspense of my bizarre fate.
My invisibility was my strength and the loneliness swarming around me tempted me to surrender to every hesitation of mine, even when the Sun of dismay persisted in materialising like an unexpected ghost.
All my wishes vanished and they were replaced by restlessness in the shape of ghouls wandering in the endless labyrinth of my chance, where destiny and randomness became indistinguishable.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Portal Of Oblivion
The portal of oblivion stood in the garden of secret desires
Castaway as I was in the dizziness of the loss and grief
I strove to grab some earth mixed with mud to feel the emptiness of that desolate place
Where only ghosts dared to inhabit during the desolate nights of a summer
Silence was disrupted by the steady wind, bringing some fresh relief to the tired trees
While the moonlight rays glimmered over the flowerbedsNo surprise could have overcome my quietness
Now that I was embracing my golden seclusion
Outlying the fatuous and polluted world of mortals
Lost in the mangroves of my worries and thoughts
After fear had left its imprints everywhere
Wishing I could leave my past self behind the portal of oblivion once I had traversed it
I felt like no tragedy could ever happen to me
Although I was willing to take the risk
Since I was used to living in the uncertaintyI fell into a deep slumber, and I dreamed gibberish
I felt deep inside that I couldn’t have protected myself from my fate
For everything I was destined to was beyond my imagination
Like a wanderer without a destination, I couldn’t discern where I really wanted to be because I couldn’t know what I was truly feeling inside my heart
It was like I came to be an inanimate statue made of ice and crystalThe more I wanted to know, the more I lost my memories
In the effort to survive all the storms of life and the wicked tragedies
I have transformed into a storm myself
Powerful yet ephemeral like a summer night raindrop
My heart has turned into a crystal gem, and I couldn’t feel any sensation of frostiness or warmth
For I was an evanescent creature of that realm of dreams and coveted chimaeras
Beyond the portal of oblivion.
Elisabetta Esther -
Fluster And Frenzy
Fluster and frenzy
My guardian ghouls
They came to rescue me
During a dreadful slumber
I felt frozen shadows all over me
It was magical and startling
Nevertheless, the fear came to me
I was wandering, lonely and vulnerable
They were chasing me in the dead of night
I could hear their steps behind me
But I couldn’t discern a shadow from a glimmering star
As the clouds had overwhelmed the night sky
While the moon had vanished quietlyWherever I attempted to proceed
I couldn’t find a portal through which to flee from that abode
My gown, adorned with crimson roses and snow, looked after me silently
The creatures of the underworld traced my every movement
It seemed to me that I was mesmerised by their spells
While a chain of thorns entwined my body like a metallic vine
I was an evanescent creature, dissolving into the abyss of decay and despair
Under the indifferent gaze of the stars, cold and leadenSoft snowflakes were falling all over me
Kissing my weary and fragile skin
Trembling and sobbing, I had to face my fears and my merciless fate
No refuge was granted to me
No lovely embrace was going to welcome me
I had lost all my hopes, and my longings were reduced to ashes
I was condemned to wander endlessly in an abyss of gloom
Where I completely vanished, and no memories of my existence were left
Fluster and frenzy were no longer my guardian demons, but the ominous and frightening facets of myselfHow could I have deceived myself so recklessly?
How could I have allowed myself to surrender to demise?
It was so vicious to admit that I had sunk into oblivion ominously
Moreover, my name had been erased from the mortal realm
My longing for oblivion had unexpectedly taken shape
I was ensnared by the oddities I had forged within myself
They swallowed my heart each time I was overwhelmed by an intense passion
I had become the creator of my own descent
Each flame of desire had turned into a thorn of yearning, binding me with devout cruelty
Nothing could have been halted anymore
I was destined to obliteration.
Elisabetta Esther -
My Enchanted Nights
My enchanted nights passed one by one, like creatures perishing and being reborn, melting into a single, unique, and everlasting night. I fell in love, time and again, with monsters in the guise of magnificent and exquisite angels. I spent my endless nights casting spells and magic upon mortal spirits.
I felt enraged and resentful as my heart was pounding in all its fury, like a winter storm at full might. My scorched heart had been repeatedly broken and torn into fragments of darkness. I cried and wailed in vain into the emptiness of the nocturnal sky, where I couldn’t see any stars.
I was dressed in dismay and grief, while the shadows of my beloved darkness wrapped me in their ethereal veil. I beseeched all the ghosts of my imaginary realm to set me free from the anguish and pangs I was condemned to bear in my sorrowful heart.
In my enchanted nights, I was intoxicated by magic potions and mystic spells, wondering if there was some manner to flee my infamous fate, unsure as I felt myself in that absolute silence that enveloped me inexorably.
Hindered by enchanting melodies and beguiling rhymes that echoed in my mind, I became a part of the magical maelstrom that dragged me into the abyss of swoon and oblivion. I had metamorphosed into a creature that was beyond the rule of the mortal world.
My enchanted nights imbued me with chaos and stardust, inducing me to fall apart and renounce all the dreams I once cherished in my heart. So much was I doused with poison and witchcraft that I had forsaken my anguish.
I had always been tormented by dreadful premonitions, as I was doomed to perish in decay and obliteration. My bygone, enchanted nights, made of glimmering stars, were nothing but faraway reveries.
Elisabetta Esther