Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: shadow

  • In The Dungeon Of My Decay

    In The Dungeon Of My Decay

    In the dungeon of my decay
    I was chained by my nightmares
    Although I strove to escape from them
    It was useless every attempt at freedom
    Since the last night, I fell into a deep slumber
    I belonged to the realm of nightmares
    The reality around me disappeared
    Nothing anymore was real but my screams and cries

    All my teardrops formed an ocean of madness
    My body floated inside this abyss made of water and blood
    All my sweet memories had become pins and daggers piercing my heart
    I embodied nightmares and dungeon
    A dreadful doorway revealed its den of iniquity to me
    I sowed my heart in blighted earth
    Under the blazing eyes of skull-born flames
    No longer affected by my own heart’s relentless pang

    I knew not what my fate would have reserved for me
    But that uncertainty lacerated my soul
    While I felt bewildered hearing oaths from shadows
    Sworn by voices twisted like serpents around me
    My madness tempted me to bury my long-forsaken past
    The sky above cracked like a porcelain sculpture
    Beneath the crimson light of merciless stars
    Stealing my bleeding longings from me
    
    I wandered through a maze of chains and candles
    From each mirror, memories shouted at me through the glass
    Delivering dismay and despair
    My bleeding heart was stitched with spasms and regret
    I was a miserable creature being left with only sorrow and solitude
    No hope and no love were reserved for me
    Fate had decided, and nothing could have been changed
    I lost all my tears, and I remained voiceless

    My despair was a constant dagger inside my heart
    And I had to surrender to its power and brutality
    A powerless and withered flower I had become
    I was a relic and a shadow of my nightmares
    No vital pulse remained inside me and no drop of blood was left in my body
    Life left me and death seized me
    I became a spoil in the dungeon of my decay
    Blood and the carcass of my heart remained the remnants of my body when I vanished into oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • In My Fainted Dreams

    In My Fainted Dreams

    In my fainted dreams made of smoke and spells, I saw my image reflected in the mirror of death. It seemed as if I were a dead shadow made of illusions. My slumber bound me to chains of darkness, and I couldn’t escape from my dungeon of despair.

    In my non-existence, the quietness numbed me with a spell of sorrow. I was born to die alone, in scorn and desolation. My residence was made of teardrops and blood. I wished I could have kept my dreams in my treasure chest, but every time I tried, they would vanish.

    Hence, I began to pretend that I didn’t need to desire or dream. I could have achieved everything I wanted if only my fate could allow me to do it. Nevertheless, solace and bliss were forbidden castles to my decrepit presence, and I could only find myself in an endless requiem.

    Lies were birds of freedom for my heart, and I slumbered as a way of searching for myself. Indeed, I received an invitation from the realm of nothingness, under whose influence my main achievement was only destruction and decay. I was becoming a candle castle collapsing under the tension of an impetuous and merciless wind.

    My past memories were little daggers puncturing my heart incessantly without any compassion. Maybe it was all an endless nightmare conspiring against me but the vivid remembrances were slowly annihilating me each instant of my non-life.

    In my fainted dreams, I lived in grief surrounded by the shadows of my past self. I was not afraid to suffer and mourn days and nights. Time didn’t matter anymore because there was no metamorphosis in me. I perpetually wept like a statue in a cemetery.

    Death and nightmares were all that remained as gifts of the underworld. I surrendered to a quiet acceptance of my irreversible demise. I ceased to dream, embracing my everlasting lamentation. I was fading like incense through a sinister wind.
    Elisabetta

  • Teardrops Of Blood

    Teardrops Of Blood

    Teardrops of blood descended on my cheeks like timid waterfalls
    While the cold freeze of a winter night stroked me
    A memento of my mortality and fragility
    Like dancing leaves falling from trees under the influence of an extravagant wind

    Since the day my evil fate threw me into a world of misery
    I escaped from reality to find myself in the realm of bizarre dreams and odd nightmares
    I had found myself living in a new world
    A place of ghostly apparitions and utopias

    Burning flowers became sparkling torches, guiding me in my journey
    In this labyrinth of darkness, I felt so overwhelmed that I could feel the scent of death
    The demise was waiting for me as if I couldn’t commit any mistake
    And I had to drink from the cup of poison that the oblivion offered me

    I became intoxicated by illusions and deceptions
    I started to believe every lie whispered to my heart
    And I bled all my soul out, crying teardrops of blood
    Random thoughts captured my mind, and it was like I was the captive of my own insanity

    I became the representation of sorrow and decay
    Not alive anymore, I was a wanderer of the underworld
    I didn’t belong anymore to the material reality
    I was an ethereal spirit of the darkness

    I became my own shadow and guide on an unknown route
    Not even the stars or the moon were there to lead the way for me
    I started to mourn myself because I knew my fate was doomed
    And death was there to wait for me

    In solitude and anguish, my teardrops of blood were my only comfort
    Poisoned and dazzled as I was, there was no resolution to my senseless disorder
    Madness had me as a captive in its cursed dungeon
    Surrounded by the skulls of those who perished from folly and frenzy.
    Elisabetta

  • In Desolation And Affliction

    In Desolation And Affliction

    In desolation and affliction, I was left viciously by my wicked fate
    Hopeless and deserted by all my dreams as if I were not worthy of bliss and ecstasy
    Delighted to let my senses abandon every type of wisdom
    I stopped to chase what couldn’t be mine forever
    Hence, all my crimson roses began to wither
    They become obsidian blossoms like the deepest night
    I could only sigh and weep surrounded by the skulls of my memories

    Ancient skulls and black roses all around me
    They became my guardian angels watching me closely
    They were the witnesses of my defeat and decline
    My virtues became my blemishes and I became a demon of myself
    I was a terrifying ghoul of the darkness, hunting dreams and love
    Nevertheless, I wouldn’t be able to catch dreams or love
    Being both of them out of reach for me who I was a simple creature of nightmares

    I even chased my own shadow in vain but I couldn’t find it
    Because I had no shadow and no soil
    My heart was filled with poison and decay
    There was no more space for love and delight
    The perpetual state of grief and misery transformed me into a spirit of dismay
    I embodied sorrow and every teardrop of mine was extinguished
    I had lost everything so dear to me
    I had lost everyone so loved by me
    I had lost myself in obsessions and wickedness

    I had to die several times in order to be born again and again
    How many times have I died?
    I never remembered it because each time my heart embraced death I lost my mind to an amnesia
    Thorns and brambles carved on my body arcane messages of wreckage and doom
    I have felt doomed all life long with no redemption or faded hope
    I was just a ghost of despair and nothing more
    In desolation and affliction, I’ve found my eternal respite and I surrendered to pursue all of my dreams and desires all at once.
    Elisabetta

  • Weeping My Heart Out

    Weeping My Heart Out

    Weeping my heart out in the abyss of the night
    While dark shadows embrace me beneath the pale moonlight made of cold sorrows
    Teardrops carve my name, descending like rivers of woe
    I drown in the ocean of nightmares and death

    The stars have ceased to weep, after staring at the moon’s indifference
    And the wind whispers all my beloved secrets
    Singing the anguish that I keep in my treasure chest
    In my garden of grief where midnight rose

    Weeping my heart out in the stillness of a silent night
    When silence and sorrow prom together
    Echoing through the hollow halls of my soul
    And leaving imprints of longing and grief

    The dawn doesn’t dare to graze my tear-stained face
    Because I belong to the clasp of perpetual twilight
    I’m my weakness and chaos of catastrophe
    Being myself the most intemperate tragedy

    I’m darkness and night
    I’m an ethereal creature of the eternal darkness
    An extravagant flower glowing in the gloomy wilderness
    I love to disappear in the most remote places of my imagination

    Weeping my heart out, I find myself in a meadow of deception
    Where I cannot discern anymore what is real from what is delusion
    Hence, I surrender to the uncertainty of my overwhelming fate
    Unaware of my future demise

    I want to avoid thinking, for I live solely through my passions
    In a frenzy of madness and lust, I become a new creature
    An ephemeral ghost bound to a doomed destiny
    Floating between ecstasy and oblivion

    I take delight in dancing with the spectres of my forsaken desires
    Their strokes ignite flames upon my pale skin
    The night sky swallows the forbidden nectar of my tears
    While I vanish into the chasm of my own longings

    No sunrise will encounter me and no dusk will mourn me
    For I belong to the stillness of the midnight’s embrace
    As I become a shadow lost in the labyrinth of time
    A withering shade, devoured by the void within me.
    Elisabetta

  • My Obscure Sides

    My Obscure Sides

    My obscure sides are so numerous that they cannot be contained by the vastness of the ocean. If someone sought to know them, I would say that I am only made of darkness, for no light remains within me.

    Beneath a cloudy night sky deprived of stars, I wander in my loneliness without any moonlight shining over me. Embracing my fears, uncautiously I explore all my darkest secrets.

    Bold and reckless I explore the most hidden recesses of beauty and mystery. I love to dance alone in the coldest winter nights under the cloudy sky. I love to be mad and foolish and never care about the consequences.

    I’m a courtesan and a poet, embracing my most feral self. I often forget my name and I don’t fit in any box of comfort and conventions. I’m free like a butterfly flying from one flower to another one.

    I adore being stroked by the frost wind and pierced by thunders of passions, feeling the poundage of my incubi on my body during my respite.

    My obscure sides hide quietly in the shadows of my heart. I’m bound forever to darkness and sorrow. Indeed, I’m dressed in an exquisite gown made of grief and tears.

    I love to indulge in my decadence and I love to lie languidly on a bed of flowers contaminated by the dust of decay. Broken like a shattered crystal gem I dwell in absolute silence, inside my dark chamber made of anguish.

    I love to fantasize and live in my absurd dreams. I’m a living paradox and an oddity outside the ordered realm of standard society made of entities who are already lifeless.

    Embracing the chaos within myself, I sink into the abyss of darkness, wrapped in a cloak of sorrows and illusions. Chained by invisible bonds, I get lost in the labyrinth of my imagination.
    Elisabetta

  • The Gaze Of My Heart

    The Gaze Of My Heart

    The gaze of my heart follows passions
    Like a moth entranced by the moon’s wicked glow
    Hovering through the realms of fire and shadow
    Where longings bloom in silent anguish

    It ignores wisdom, and it doesn’t fear any abyss
    Drawn to forbidden dreams and extravagant art
    My heart gleams at the verge of madness
    And it sculpts sorrow into an artwork of dark

    Through secret passageways of velvet dusk
    Where dreams entwine with heartbreaking sighs
    The gaze of my heart will never falter
    Even when a desire bleeds and dies

    Striving to forget the bruises of love and devotion
    Still, my heart never ceases to beat
    Even amid the wildest storm of life
    It bleeds but rises from the ashes of sorrow

    My heart drifts through shadows, refusing to break
    Carrying the weight of memories yet still seeking passion
    Bound by the chains of the past, yearning only to fly
    My heart weeps beneath the moon, longing for release

    Nonetheless, the night holds me captive
    I became a prisoner of grief and anguish
    And each tear of mine is a dream lost in the cold and silent air
    As I seek consolation and solace that I cannot find

    I reach through the darkness, yearning to touch the stars
    But they gleam and vanish in the infinite sky
    While the night conceals its secrets, shrouded in despair
    Like the fleeting touch of a dream that never could become tangible

    A gelid breeze of illusions hits me
    Whispering me only cruel and fleeting promises
    Trying to chase them, I end up in the emptiness
    My endless pursuit is a vacant seizure

    My heart becomes a frail ship adrift in an ocean of delusions
    Trembling at each dark shadow towering over it like a giant wave
    I search for meaningful signs in the endless nights
    Although the stars don’t gleam anymore for me

    In this abyss of sorrow, I remain
    Finding no rest
    The gaze of my heart loses its sight
    And the echo of my distressed soul is suppressed for eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • The Thorns Of Anguish

    The Thorns Of Anguish

    The thorns of anguish pierced my heart
    Making it bleed in dismay
    In a distressing struggle in my sleepless nights

    I wouldn’t feel any pleasure anymore
    In this short existence of mine
    And the only certitude remained was a frantic dream

    A foolish dream made of many other dreams
    A multitude of hallucinations
    Ready to make me feel a joyful fool

    I’m not of this world of homologated humans
    I’m made of dreams and illusions
    I’m not a human at all, being an ethereal creature of the night

    Hiding under the blankets of my bed
    I pretend to be the queen of my realm of ether and chaos
    Avoiding to accept reality and its social conventions

    I write because I feel there is no other way to express my inner world
    In trivial and merry moments of my life

    Oftentimes, I wouldn’t feel any pleasure anymore
    Nor sadness, nor dread, nor longings
    For I had become nothing more than a spirit

    I floated endlessly through the enchanted woods
    Among elves and fairies whispering me secrets
    While I was feeling blissful and bewildered at the same time

    The thorns of anguish pierced my heart again and again
    Until the last drop of blood would drip on the cold soil
    In my secret garden of dreams and nightmares

    In my arcane heaven, illusions bloomed alongside despair
    And I would have become an impalpable and gloomy shadow
    Incapable of feeling sorrow and mirth

    I had forgotten the hypocrisy of the disowned reality
    Because I was so much lost in my metaphysical realm
    An intricate labyrinth created by my own mind

    I became a phantom bound to an endless twilight
    I was a creature of eternal dusk
    Fading into the hush of the night mist

    The moon cast silver woes
    In my everlasting fantasy
    Forever dissolved in nothingness.
    Elisabetta

  • The Storm of Fire

    The Storm of Fire

    The storm of fire and water overcame the stillness of the night,
    Beneath a sky overcrowded with clouds and fire,
    A magnificent spectacle beyond every imagination,
    In the midst of the infinite emptiness.

    Darkness ruled this phantasmagorical realm of fantasy and reality,
    Where illusions and deception became the only reality,
    In a play of light and shadow beyond the visible world.

    Decadent longings blossomed like dead flowers,
    Waiting to be obliterated by the fallacious gleam of decayed stars,
    While every hope withered like smoke in the void,
    In the ephemeral realm of fleeting lusts and desires.

    Solitude and a melancholic nostalgia made sombre the sky,
    Where the moon wept silver tears upon the world of reality,
    Veiled by mantles of ash and forsaken sighs,
    lighting a requiem for dreams long buried.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Invisible Sparkle

    The Invisible Sparkle

    The invisible sparkle in a world that doesn’t exist yet,
    Like a flower suffocated by the gelid winter snow,
    Struggling cries of a dream forever stilled, unmet,
    Trapped in shadows where the winds won’t blow.

    A sigh drifted in the void’s hollow sound,
    A glimmer of the sublime that was never born,
    Silence shattered what’s yet to be found,
    A seed of light faded into the abyss, torn.

    A fleeting pulse from a heart too broken to repair,
    A thread of hope tangled in despair,
    Draped in the veil of the endless night’s hold,
    Fading into nothing, lost to the aether.

    In this pointless realm where illusions had become a reality,
    Unseen suns refused to rise or fall,
    A phantom dream trapped in twilight’s will,
    Its presence was known, yet not at all.

    For what existed without a trace,
    What flickers yet was never there,
    Could time revive its fleeting grace,
    Or would it die in hollow air?

    The flower crushed beneath frozen skies,
    Yearning for a spring that would never come,
    A sparkle dimmed in eternal disguise,
    The silent whisper of a life undone.

    Its scent forgotten, its petals closed,
    In a garden where nothing dared to bloom,
    A magic world where the future’s doors were forever closed,
    And the past lay buried in the gloom.

    The invisible sparkle flickered no more,
    A light that faded into the unmarked night,
    Lost in the pages of an unwritten lore,
    A shadow swallowed by eternal delight.

    The frozen winds still howled their song,
    In a dwelling that never came to be,
    And in the silence, lost all along,
    The invisible sparkle faded to memory.

    In the void of a forgotten dream,
    Where the eternity itself unravelled slowly,
    Dreams and fantasies vanished in flow,
    But only shadows knew their woe.

    The invisible sparkle, long since gone,
    Left no mark, no trace, no song.
    In stillness, it forever lies,
    A ghost beneath the unseen skies.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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