Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: shadows

  • Random Thoughts

    Random Thoughts

    Random thoughts and memories hit me like thunders
    And my fears grasp me with their claws
    Feeling dizzy and unconscious
    I cannot control my descent into doom and decay

    More confused than ever
    I try to understand the unreasonable reasons of the fate
    Disappointments and merriments entwine in my heart
    And I can only cry and scream at the sky
    Where the stars and moon seem careless to my pains

    My future destiny is obscure and uncertain
    The unknown is my senseless fate
    Rage and regret take me to their dungeon
    Striving to forget my past is not my strength

    Words flow in my mind as well as emotions flow inside my heart
    Truth and lies are fused together, and reality becomes just an illusion
    Illusions and dreams became my reality
    Where I can have a safe haven all for me

    Walking alone in the darkness among strangers
    I feel like I am not really human but a creature belonging to another realm
    A realm of fantasy and chimaeras where everything is beautiful and sublime
    And no fear is necessary to survive

    Having always felt like an outsider and a weird person all my lifelong
    I always preferred to stay in silence and avoid too much noise
    I never loved social gatherings with self-introductions and explanations
    I’ve never felt understood or seen inside as I really am

    Hiding in the dark shadows of the night has been my best choice
    Hiding from everyone and everything
    A nocturnal creature as I am
    I love concealing myself
    Fleeting into the realm of phantasmagoria

    I am made of whispers and delusions
    I am made of strength and weakness
    I am made of love and hate
    I am made of stardust and dust of decay

    Random thoughts chase me everywhere I go
    They hunt me fiercely and I cannot flee from them
    Stars seem to fall over me
    Hitting and piercing my heart.
    Elisabetta

  • Victimised By My Desires

    Victimised By My Desires

    Victimised by my desires and love
    I try to detach from my heart’s impulses
    But it is useless because I am chained completely
    Like a prey of my own longings, craving for my soul

    I keep believing in my dreams and impossible chimeras
    Never breaking the chain of my own distress
    Trusting love and its cruel games
    A realm of beauty and deception

    Victimised by my desires and obsessions
    I get lost in my dreams where I feel safe and protected
    And I sing my song of love and self-destruction
    As a way to cast a spell over myself over and over again

    Alive and dead
    Happy and sad
    I fade away into the darkness of my life
    Becoming a victim of my emotions and weakness

    Every time that my dreams whisper lies to me
    I feel euphoric and powerful as I’m destined to a perpetual merriment
    Instead, I fall into the profound abyss of misery
    Where I compassionately cry crystal teardrops

    I never stop sighing in this valley of desolation
    As I’m permanently condemned to wander endlessly with no destination
    As I’m permanently condemned to never find peace in my innermost spirit

    Seized by cobwebs of love and impossibilities
    Abducted into secret alcoves of empty vows
    I surmise that my own delusions are real, mistaking them for truths
    And see only exquisite beauty in this world because I want to believe so

    In my dark chamber, I cry and sigh
    In my secret niche, I embrace oblivion
    Aware that nobody, absolutely nobody, thinks about me
    In this senseless existence, deprived of empathy

    Forlorn and disenchanted, I wait for the true love
    Although I’m sure I can feel it, and I can see it as a beautiful vision
    As I’m very foolish and ingenue, losing easily control of my feelings
    And I’m glad to fall into the trap of my longings
    And I’m delighted that I’m victimised by my desires.
    Elisabetta

  • Sweet Decadence

    Sweet Decadence

    Sweet decadence of instants already vanished
    In the void of my loneliness, I found affliction
    And dust of decay fell over me like an incessant rain
    Whilst I wandered alone in the cold nighttime

    Suddenly, I saw my fears, and anguish gripped me
    Making me captive in its dark dungeon
    Where a sweet decadence waited for me to swallow my soul
    And shattering my heart in infinite fragments of love and pain

    Hence, I sighed, waiting for fate to destroy my dreams and expectations
    A moment of death and transformation
    Like a nocturnal moth morphing into an everlasting flame
    Surrounded by the merciless void of indifference and unbending decree

    The magic touch of the stars stroked my hair
    While I got lost in the labyrinth of my dreams
    Dreams that appeared as nightmares
    Undisclosed secrets of all the forbidden lives I lived

    Drowning in the deep and dark ocean
    Where I kept my fragile and stormy mysteries
    Arcane truths hid underneath my soul
    The sources of my fantasmagorical realm of fantasies

    Sweet decadence became my languid alcove
    My secret world to which I always belonged
    And I will always belong
    My treasure chest was full of dust of decay and anguish

    All the fruits of betrayal poisoned my essence
    Tainting my heart with their ink of blood and darkness
    Subtly whispering lovely words of love and exquisite sweetness
    Entangling me with its chains of silk and gold

    In the garden of my forbidden desires and passions
    Enticed by their spells and mesmerised by the lush of their scent
    I fell into a perpetual slumber, and the death of my wisdom and sanity occurred suddenly
    It was a consequence of the venomous thorns of nocturnal roses

    I closed my eyes to look inside my dreams of sweet decadence and decay
    I segregated myself from the world
    I created my own secret world made of magnificence and beauty
    A realm belonging only and only to me
    My kingdom and heavenly refuge of joy.
    Elisabetta

  • Beguiled by Doubt and Fear

    Beguiled by Doubt and Fear

    Beguiled by doubt and fear, I wandered in the darkness of the night, searching for deception and truth.

    I remembered that the sun had just set down slowly, diving into the ocean depths and dissolving completely.

    Struggling to keep myself alive, trying to not think and not remember, hence not suffering anymore.

    Successfully, I discovered refuge in the oblivion of my senses, no longer understanding what reality and illusion were.

    Sobbing and gasping until I couldn’t breathe anymore, I fell like a dead flower on the cold ground, and there I lay down, remaining senseless like a deadly slumber.

    I awoke in a new realm, but I was not alive anymore because I belonged to the kingdom of death and oblivion.

    I was happily dead for the rest of eternity, an ethereal and metaphysical creature rambling in an endless night.

    I was no longer living, beguiled by doubt and fear. Betrayal and lies were not part of my life anymore, and neither phoney love belonged to my realm.

    I was finally free from vultures and deception. My essence was pure, like a crystal gem shining under the moonlight.

    Alone, I wandered, and I still strolled among shadows and memories, feeling a grudge and the emptiness of the eternal night.

    Silence surrounded me like a haunting ghost, following me everywhere, always lingering. I heard nothing but the echoes of my own obsessions.

    Teardrops descended over my body, cold manifestations of my sorrow and my anguish, silent sighs of my despair and my invisible wounds.

    I embraced death and defeat forever, perceiving their cruel grasp over me; their wicked blade pierced me brutally until it shattered me to pieces.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Under The Spell of Despair

    Under The Spell of Despair

    Under the spell of despair and distress, I fell into a slumber that dragged me to a realm of darkness and madness.

    Disquietude welcomed me like a soft petal falling on the frigid soil soaked with tears and blood in a domain where I had always been a nobody.

    The sound of a storm kept me asleep as I was under a dark spell of pain. Loving to be possessed by an anguish that was piercing and breaking me.

    A sharp blade stroked me just as an affection manifestation of my nightmares, visiting me like haunting spirits, leaving me bleeding my soul out.

    Decadent desires of lust grabbed my body, tearing me apart with their alluring viciousness, leaving me like a crushed rose whose blood stained red all over the garden grass.

    Faraway, wicked echoes of phoney oddities and curiosities claimed me as their biological creature and beloved possession of my early youth. They trampled upon my essence repeatedly until my soul dissolved into nothingness.

    Old forbidden secrets were kept inside my heart like decayed treasures made of rotten fondness. They made me feel like a butterfly without wings and without a name.

    And so, I became nameless and faceless, ensnared under the spell of despair and mortification, revelling in the triumph of decadence and the torment of existence.

    Floundering in the unfathomable depths of an ocean of dreams and illusions, I drifted endlessly, lost within their spectral embrace.

    In the end, I became a crimson blossom, sustained by the moonlight’s ghostly glow and the deception of my obscene dreams.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Eternal Night

    The Eternal Night

    The eternal night within myself was sombre and mysterious,
    Like an obscure, vast, nocturnal ocean welcoming the starless night sky,
    A dark sky diving down into the sea depths.

    Obsessive was the wind hissing ominously against me,
    And in the same time, pushing me inside that frightening water realm,
    Where I was very driven to jump and disappear forever.

    Alone and lonely, I remained on the brink of the precipice,
    From where I heard a captivating spell of death and delight,
    Forgetting about every endeavour to endure a ruthless existence.

    I became the night, and the darkness pierced me like a sharp, poisoned arrow,
    Ready to be destroyed like a fragile crystal flower,
    With the awareness that I would become a part of the infinite void.

    And an absolute silence lit the memories within myself,
    Condemning me to relive my past,
    A realm I’ve always sought to escape.

    The void opened its maw, revealing itself a chasm of legends and glooms,
    Summoning me with its enchanting spell, recalling all I had lost,
    A dirge was sung by several faceless mirrors of sorrow and despair.

    Each remembrance burned like a fading flame,
    Illuminating instants that I dared not revisit,
    Although they lived like unbidden guests inside the darkness of my soul.

    I strived to stay away from that endless obscurity,
    Trembling as soon as its cold grasp reached and touched me,
    Provoking disturbing sensations and visions within me as fragments of life shattered into countless pieces.

    The waves below surged like spectral wraiths,
    Touching, pulling, claiming me as their own belonging,
    Promising delight and mirth in the depths of nothingness.

    I lingered suspended in that ethereal dwelling between life and death,
    Between the yearning to vanish,
    And the curse of perpetual souvenirs.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Dark Vault

    The Dark Vault

    The dark vault of death and desires was the hidden alcove where all the dreams became flowers of death.

    Desires painted the antique wallpaper in red blood, casting a spell on whoever dared to dream in a deadly slumber trapped in those walls.

    No light could have pierced the darkness that ruled that niche, not even the silvery moonlight, so shy to surrender to all that gloominess.

    Far away from every kind of imagination, desires, and dreams were nothing else than a beautiful aspect of death, with the only purpose of obliterating everything.

    No dream would have ever come true; instead, they would manifest the only final aim: the perpetual and endless destruction of all that was pure and magnificent.

    The dark vault was a mysterious crypt that existed only in a chimerical realm where time and space made no sense.

    The walls of this eldritch place were adorned with mirrors of betrayal, their shattered surfaces still gleaming.

    Each fragment reflected only the phantoms of lost expectancies and fractured souls. Every sliver concealed a story of despair, hissing in the silent domain of this dark vault.

    In the heart of this chasm stood a grave of glooms carved from obsidian and veined with crimson ichor.

    A tome rested upon the grave; its pages were inked with the anguish of a thousand forgotten souls.

    To read from this book meant to be bound to the vault forever, chained by the weight of desires turned to ash.

    Sobs crept as if disembodied voices murmured secrets of aggrieved existences. They wove around the corners like the Hydra, promising happiness and pleasure but delivering only torments.

    They unveiled tales of love turned decayed, of corrupted ambitions, of defiled innocence—all reduced to hollow vestiges of what could have existed.

    The darkness surrounded everything as a cruel reminder that no dream could ever flourish in such a place.

    Those naive dreamers who stumbled into this dark vault were ensnared by its grim allure. Their desires, once flamboyant and passionate, were siphoned away, leaving their spirits barren and their forms reduced to statues of cinders.

    These uncautious wanderers remained permanently frozen in agony, outstretching their arms and striving to seize dreams that were lost forever.

    The vault itself seemed like a living creature, feeding on the despair it provoked and expanding its labyrinth routes with each new prey.

    New grotesque chambers unfurled like malignant blooms, adorned with relics of devastated hearts and the skeletal relics of every aborted dream.

    There was no escape in this wicked vault, for it was an eternally cursed and tragic realm—a liminal space that swallowed all, reducing everything to echoes in its mournful symphony.

    The dark vault was the embodiment of the inevitable, where every dream, every desire, every spark of life came to die.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Chasm of Chaos

    The Chasm of Chaos

    The chasm of chaos and fear gazed like a grotesque creature,
    With its jagged edges that were viciously shaped.
    It lived of despair and dread in the frozen emptiness of the realm of dreams,
    Like a maw of shadows and glooms, vast and bare.

    This ominous abyss was a silent expanse,
    While whispers rose chaotically like a mournful hymn,
    Pulling the light to this hollow kingdom of darkness,
    Where the stars had begun to fade and hope decayed.

    I was alone in this doomed abysm,
    Where time dissolved, and nothing prospered.
    No ground beneath, just the void’s retreat,
    Its pulse was a lament, slow and discrete.

    The chasm of chaos had allured with a spell of dread,
    Promising truths from the tears I’d shed.
    But all the truths it bore were forged in lies,
    A grave for a reason beneath dead skies.

    The lure grew intense, and my will had weakened,
    As terror bloomed, every resilience was drained.
    Into the depths, I had fallen down at last,
    Like a soul unmoored from the obscure past.

    And in its core, no life ever endured,
    Just chaos reigning like an uncontained ruler.
    The chasm of fear had claimed its privilege,
    And left behind, no glimmer, no fragment, no trace.

    The ravine sang a dirge such as a mournful and hollow cry,
    Its melody was like fractured winds that ceaselessly wailed.
    Each sob engraved wounds deep into my soul and my mind,
    Binding my essence to its darkness, confined like a buried flower.

    Its infinite gusts spiralled like a suffocating haze,
    Turning instants into aeons in its dark maze.
    No horizon was visible, and no mirth remained,
    Only clouds and shadows lingered with an agony that was ingrained into them.

    The deeper I sunk, the colder it grew,
    A realm where nightmares and despair accrued.
    Every heartbeat felt a remote memory like a misplaced echo,
    As the chasm’s grip obliterated all I’d embraced.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Long Night of Desires

    A Long Night of Desires

    A long night of desires and regrets beneath the infinite darkness of the firmament disclosed many dreams and secrets.

    And for each memory, a terrible ghost of the past appeared under the shape of an ominous shadow whose silent scream shattered every flower to dust.

    A fearless storm surrounded the night with its thunders and gloomy clouds, obliterating every trace of beauty from the realm of dreams and darkness.

    Giving way to nothingness and void that swallowed everything with an eerie fury.
    All that remained was a desert with scattered fragments of emotions and love.

    The moonlight lit flames of longing and despair, glinting like shattered glass, trembling with soft murmurs.

    Every blossom of the garden of distress flowered into a withered bloom, and each petal fell like a sour teardrop, dissolving into the sand.

    The inextinguishable emptiness exhaled its yearning across the barren universe, and its absolute silence swelled louder than the storm’s wildest cry.

    Hopes dissolved into the blank abyss like a river of lost dreams flowing to nowhere while love’s faint flames glinted, swallowed by the surreal dimness.

    Into the maze of sorrow, the eternal night became infinite and relentless, with its secrets buried beneath waves of grief.

    Glooms and clouds depleted all the frail remnants of light and joy, replacing them with immense anguish and decay.

    The long night of desires became an endless night of regrets when nightmares swirled around the world like haunting ghouls, tormenting every slumber.

    The infinite abyss of darkness extinguished everything, enclosing every faded memory of a realm once alive and now barely reduced to fragments of despair.

    A wailing blizzard agonised the desert of despair, dragging all the fragments of forgotten dreams and scattering the ashes of love that once burned radiant.

    The stars above, veiled by eternal dismay, became hollow gazes observing the doomed ruins below, becoming witnesses to a tale of a long night of desires devoured by the infinite chasm of oblivion.

    The firmament extended its icy and infinite arms, claiming all and leaving nothing but an absolute silence resounding as a boundless and eternal requiem for dead dreams.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Shrouds of Anguish

    Shrouds of Anguish

    Shrouds of anguish were overlooking the garden of delights,
    Casting dreadful shadows over the beautiful flower beds,
    Allowing just a tiny glimpse of light to shine through the eternal night,
    In the absolute silence of the darkness, where no one would have dared explore the most remote corners of secrecy.

    Far away from the remembrances of a distant realm,
    Mysterious creatures wandered still,
    Seeking remnants of magnificence lost in the wake of obliteration,
    In the tragic hope of being able to save what was left to cherish.

    Every exquisite dream faded like a fantastic chimaera,
    Lost in the darkness of indifference and stillness,
    Among shadows of laments and annihilation,
    In the vast ocean of nothingness.

    The suspense of fate was like a shining sword ready to obliterate capricious merriments,
    In a kingdom of lugubrious and mournful obsessions,
    Where light had to surrender to the gloom of despair,
    Among shrouds of anguish and disavowal.

    Tales of forgotten aeons lingered in the hollow chambers of the past,
    Threading through the labyrinth of forsaken joys,
    Like faint echoes of a requiem unsung,
    Haunting the ruins of a splendour once divine.

    The desolate soil resounded with the weight of memories too sombre to accept,
    Their jagged shards pierced through darkness’s veil,
    Drawing forth the anguish of eras long buried,
    A threnody that the earth could not quell.

    In the heart of the garden, a single bloom endured,
    Its petals were pale as the moon’s cold gaze,
    Quivering in defiance against the ravenous void,
    Yet bound to the world of sorrow and despair.

    Amidst the transient reign of decay,
    Beauty was but a shadow that wove a firmament of grief,
    Concealing the faint glimmers of the stars that might have existed in an unfathomable abyss,
    Where silence bled through the fractured relics of vanished longings.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

© Esther Racah 2025. All rights reserved.