A dismal obscurity silently descended over the nighttime in the garden of secret and forbidden desires. Once again, the storm had fulfilled its promise to erase ancient memories and delusional hopes from the realm of fantasies and chimaeras. The nights followed each other like a sequence of fables without any beginning or end. All the flowers withdrew from the tempest’s thunder, leaving soaked soil filled with decay and fragments of burning flames. The bitterness of the magic potions that I had to swallow in my frantic existence turned my heart into a heavy stone to carry through nights of solitude and restlessness. Flares of anguish burst in the nighttime while the stars watched me closely like a bizarre creature, who was unworthy of inhabiting that enchanted place filled with wild eccentricities. The freezing wind was so fiercely cold and violent that I could not remain standing for even a moment, reminding me of my fragility and transience. The more unbearable truths demanded to be revealed the more I shrank from discovering them in the great mirror of dilemmas. No matter how much I wanted to cast off all those painful and demoralising memories, they appeared as menacing shadows wherever I went. A dismal obscurity had cast a spell all over the night and no portal could have conducted me to other surroundings since my fate had decreed that I could never depart from the realm of ill-omened nightmares and indulgent sufferings. The art of suffering had become my delight during those harrowing nights of burning tears. The stupor had not even allowed me a moment to relinquish my role as a dreamer of lost, fragmented dreams. The eternal darkness could have been magnificent each instant that a dismal obscurity had claimed my heart solely for the mere purpose of making me feel in each part of my body the misery of the loss of all my dreams while the stars and the moon mocked me with their looks of contempt.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: Shattered Dreams
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In The Realm Of Disintegrated Dreams
In the realm of disintegrated dreams, the night was endless and the darkness ruled over every invisible creature. Several peals of thunder manifested their frenzy in a dance of light and shadow, while I waited for my dreams to become true in the most foolish manner, as if time didn’t belong to me anymore. Therefore, I didn’t realise that my fantasies weren’t within reach, but just echoes in the tumultuous wind like illusory soap bubbles. I had waited for nothing to change because torpor and doldrums were woven into the fabric of my fragile destiny. And so the sun revealed its radiant complexion trying to contrast the tenebrous shine of the moon, which was accompanied by a gathering of glistening stars. Withered roses blossomed in the garden of obliteration alluring the night with their scent of decay and unpredictability. While I searched for bat flowers blooming beneath the silver moonlight, the night granted me obliviousness, and the ravines offered me refuge. No earthborn heart would have been so gracious and compassionate as to provide an award or a reward. Every attempt of mine was left behind a frozen portal, and loneliness put a gloomy castle together exclusively for me to dwell in. Even the most impetuous tempests had more regard for me than humankind, whose only aim was to scatter brambles and thorns wherever I went along my arduous path. In the realm of disintegrated dreams, I found my only consolation in the untamed storms, hollow trees and fantastic creatures of the forest. Nothing else really mattered any longer besides my peculiar world of curiosities. Exhausted as I was, I fell into a deep slumber embraced by nightmares and mysterious incubuses. Stardust burst forth from my shattered dreams, igniting the cosmos with its fiery remnants. The realm of disintegrated dreams had dissolved into the infinite abyss of the universe.
Elisabetta Esther -

Possessed And Haunted By My Yearnings
Possessed and haunted by my yearnings, I was bewitched by wicked creatures and exquisite ghouls, which I cherished each night devoutly.
My heart had been dilapidated and torn apart by mortal shallow caprices. I did cast fatal spells that shattered hearts and obliterated kingdoms. My longings were my ruin and delight.
I felt pierced by arrows of passion, and I could breathe ecstatic instants of decay. I sought transformation. I was willing to free my soul in the frosty wind of the winter nights.
All my precious dreams had been turned to ashes of sorrow. My heart was just an ethereal fragment of ardour with no mercy for those who harmed me. Thus, I surrendered to frenzy and bitterness.
I wailed all my wrath to the stars at midnight. I summoned my beloved nightmares, who listened carefully to my invocations. Therefore, the most fierce storms annihilated those who took me for granted, replacing me with shallow puppets.
I recited my poetic rhymes made of esoterism and black magic in the worst moments of dismay and chagrin. I sang to the sun and to the moon my anguish while crying tears of crimson crystals. I wished for oblivion and fearless vengeance.
My dreadful sobs eclipsed the sound of many thunders and maelstroms. Possessed and haunted by my yearnings, I was sorely lacking in my innocence. Instead, I had become the embodiment of passion.
I begged all the underworld creatures to calm my anger down. Still, the only possible outcome was a chant of vengeance, wrapped in a black rope and sealed with the wax of raven and crimson candles.
I conjured all the underworld spirits and sublime spectres, my most loyal companions, and they responded to my visitation. They unleashed turmoil and havoc, and they took me with them into their realm of Hades.
Surrounded by crystal crowns and stone flowers, I had become a sorceress and the queen of shadows and forbidden realms. In my heart, there were only tainted spells and vexations. Surrounded by nightmares, I finally found myself in the realm of untamed desires and ruthless darkness.
Elisabetta Esther -

The Emptiness Within My Mind
The emptiness within my mind
Is death inside my heart,
With no golden cage, no precious gems—
just silence folding round itself,
no escape, no hope,
Only absence holding tight.Exhausted and devoid of feeling,
I lay upon the cold earth,
strewn with withered leaves,
fallen flowers,
and shards of abandoned dreams.Weeping,
I heard the intense sound
of my tears falling
on leaves shriveled
by the cold wind of night.Nothing remained
around you,
around me,
But only the vague memory
of those anguishes
that oppressed me
and never ceased
to pursue me.I no longer held
any desire to desire,
nor to keep
anything within my heart.My heart had ceased
to be a chest
of my wishes and whims.It was merely
an empty chest,
emptied by the fury
and storms
that swept over me
In my wretched existence.Not even the stars
sparkled in the sky
above my dwelling.The heavens refused
to shine for me.Yet they had forsaken me
to my fate,
where no hope remained,
nor even a small flame
to bring me back to life.Whispers and murmurs
came to me
In the form of a misty breeze,
laden with elegies
and funeral hymns.Despair and anguish
were gifts bestowed upon me,
like dazzling joys
that in truth did not shine at all,
But bound me fast
In a realm of cruelty,
wickedness,
and mercilessness.Helpless and fragile,
like the petals of a well-bloomed flower,
I could not withstand
such impetuousness and violence of events,
so hostile to me—
like endless storms at sea
whose fury knows no end.The emptiness within my mind
had become a spirit that subdued me,
against which I could no longer resist.
At last, I became part
of the abyss of oblivion,
And there I remained for eternity,
wandering like a cloud
In a stormy, winter night.
Elisabetta -

Impaled By My Own Grief
Impaled by my own grief
Like a butterfly pinned to a wall
I was standing on the cold soil soaked by my own blood
Among withered flowers infused with the scent of death
Embracing my misery as it was a bliss for my weak heartSlowly unveiling the image behind the shadows hovering high
I discovered the reflection of my true self in their shrouds
I cried out loud, running out of tears of despair
Dressed in the sparkling veil that the luminaries made for me
And wearing a crown made of thorns and rosesAll the most terrible memories introduced themselves to me
They appeared like dreadful ghouls and wraiths
Stabbing me with their sharp daggers
Reducing me to a relic
In the presence of crows and dead treesI was an empty shell without reflection or shadow
Whenever I was wondering, it seemed I didn’t leave any trace
But only blood and thorns, a representation of my miserable existence
What I was I knew not
I became an enigma to myselfI collapsed like a wax sculpture
As I was an extinguished flame
With a body stitched by bandages and shattered dreams
Each thread was a reminder of the pangs carved all over my body
And my heart was a crushed crystalThe gleaming moonlight created an aura made of silver
Spectres were floating over me
While I was waiting for the stars to guide me
But no sign was there for me
Only the deepest darkness and squalid solitudeThe cruel fate had decreed my end with the worst despair of my soul
All my cries were dispersed by the cold wind of a winter night
Nothing more was there for me
I had lost everything dear to me
And a storm wrapped me in its deadly embraceImpaled by my own grief
I was the embodiment of my own tragedy.
Elisabetta -

The Thorns Of Velvet
The thorns of velvet were wrapped around
My wounds carved deeply by shattered dreams
I let them pierce my pale skin
For even agony was made to gleam
When it was dressed in languid depravityAnd in the silence, I strove to find my voice
A quiet murmur made of fractured hopes
Siren chants echoed through the hollowed air
Melodies of lost embrace faded like prayers
The shadows held me in their cold claspIn my disquiet, I’ve searched for refuge
The thorns of velvet had pierced my heart
A heart possessed by madness and trepidation
I wore my sorrow like a luxurious gown
Its silver threads were laced tight with resignationA requiem was bound to the cadence of my own damnation
I danced alone in hallways of misery
Each step of mine was a silent scream upon the marbled grief
My shadows vanished like faint smoke
Entangled with dismal sighs so fleeting and ephemeralThe stars wept silently on their hollow frame
Their gleaming gaze was a mirror to my plight
I bore the poundage of all my disgraces with aching grace
I became a ghost adorned in tattered garments
All the glow within my heart dissolved into the dust of decayI never ceased to wander through endless nights
Longing for sunrises and sunsets while chained to my realm of darkness
Since the night when the sky was veiled in forsaken memories
And the moon with the stars were witnesses to my irreversible descent
I called out to the void in vain because my doomed fate was sealed in immortal shadinessIn this realm of infinite dusk, I looked for insights and wisdom
But all that I could have found was madness and torment
Surrounded by raven and crimson roses, I surrendered to the supremacy of the kingdom of collapse
Where all the mirrors were broken in an everlasting candlelit aura
While the thorns of velvet made me bleed
All my dreams died, leaving me to wither in the ashes of my own despair.
Elisabetta -

Lost In My Hallucinations
Lost in my hallucinations, seeking insanity and self-destruction. I made of self-loathing my eternal anthem and favourite melody. Listening to the noise of the light of the sun when it hit the petals of my flowers, I followed my own shadow in the green meadow of hope. Kneeling down I strove to protect myself from all that dazzling gleaming since I was made of darkness and decadence.
Lies and illusions were the source of life for my soul which sought exclusively the sweet poison of deception. Wandering beneath a sad sky deprived of stars and moon, I couldn’t take control of my fears and turmoils, I forgot my name although it was carved on every stone I trampled on. Wildly led by my shattered hopes, I roamed astray into the wilderness of aborted dreams.
Lost in my hallucinations, I was searching for myself and the sense of life while teardrops were marking imprints on my face. Memories sounded like melodies in my ears I couldn’t avoid facing them because they were like a thick cloud enfolding my heart. And words came to my mind like thunders in the middle of the night. The silent stillness soothed me slowly in my insomnia.
I knew not what I was really and I never saw my reflection on any mirror. I was a stranger to myself and I never met any other creatures like me. I was utterly cast away, lost in the tides of my own desolation, wondering if I ever could have been different. The scent of death enticed me to follow a trail leading into an abyss of despair, where I could embrace my complete obliteration.
Having lost my wisdom, I discovered a new shape of fictitious reality enticed to the absurd realm of fantasy. There I was not alive anymore but doomed to inexhaustible agony, where fortune frayed like a worn-out thread spun from the hands of forgotten deities. I was the manifestation of decline and defeat.
Elisabetta -

I Live Of Instants
I live of instants that become memories
Dying in the dark of the mind
Whenever I encounter a flower, a tree or a cloud
Slowly melting under the burden of my passions
I become another drop of a rainstorm that flows through myselfGlowing stars are witnesses of the insanity of my own dreams
Faraway chimaeras of a fate that fell apart
Like a fractured crystal shattered into an infinity of burning flames
Softly waiting to fade away and never reappear
So, I do feel the fragility of my essence in the vast darkness that is striving to swallow meI acquiesce in the light of solitude and silence
The abyss of nothingness striving to swallow me
In its limitless gorge where no sparkle of hope is allowed to be
And the ephemeral sense of existence is obliterated
In the magnificent realm of decayI live of instants that become a part of me
In a nostalgic and sweet decadence dwelling in me
A suspended flower without roots or ground to rely on
Lonely in the cold atmosphere of my shell
Where I will always belong for eternityI’ve always lived in a surreal reality
Neither dead nor alive
Being in abeyance
Surrounded by dead stories
And death and bloodLife was fading into a chamber full of dust of decay
Sweet decadence was my exquisite dream and comfort
In a world where I perpetually faded away into wonders and nightmares
In the illusion of change eventually, embracing the ordinary and expected
My heart was pounding because of the absence of a thrillSweet was the slumber that wrapped me
In a celestial aura of avoidance and devastation
Where all my senses were betrayed by blades and burns
Embracing sorrow and misery
Ignored by most as I was an invisible ghostI live of instants and memories hidden by the darkness of my soul
A kingdom of obscurity and decadence
Where I’m the only beloved ruler
Gasping and signing once I’ve lost all my tears in the affliction of the night.
Elisabetta


