Undisclosed secrets were kept inside antique grimoires like precious jewels well preserved in inaccessible treasure chests. While I was insensitive to the gripping cold wind of the night surrounding me, I fell into a state of torpor maintaining an absolute stillness. Although I had no particular attitude of letting events overwhelm me, I could not resist the escalation of events my fate decided to divulge to me. Memories drifted slowly through my mind, weighing down my heart like burdens too heavy to bear. That excruciating pain that tormented the deepest recesses of my heart had never left me alone, not even during the deepest sleep. And it was precisely in the deepest darkness that I rediscovered my secret refuge of peace and solitude. No mortal who happened upon those enchanting books would have been able to find—let alone decipher—the undisclosed secrets I myself had inscribed in my magical grimoires. Night became eternal, and I had become a creature of darkness, shunning the prying eyes of humankind, with whom I no longer had any connection. Silently, I listened to the melody of the stars gleaming in the gloomy sky like everlasting flames. The sound of faraway bells evoked spirits that seemed like the shadows of my fears, which had not yet dissolved into nothingness. The anguish I felt plunged me into an ocean of unease and a peculiar kind of mourning that deprived me of all my desires. Those undisclosed secrets I tried to preserve were no longer where I had placed them in the form of arcane symbols; in fact, my grimoires had become blank-page books immersed in the emptiness of oblivion. My memories faded away afterwards as if I were a creature with no past, living in a wintry realm where time had been obliterated. Regrets and disappointments turned my heart to stone, and nothing could touch my sensitive inner self anymore—not even the bitter, permanent loss of my most cherished undisclosed secrets.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: sorrow and grief
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Undisclosed Secrets
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Lost In The Midst Of Nowhere
Lost in the midst of nowhere with a daze in my heart, I lay upon the decrepit fragments of my memories, overwhelmed by the dismal grief that shrouded my sleepless nights. I tried to continue on my way, but I had no direction, and my wounds made me very fragile. The midnight wind enveloped me, forcing me to seek shelter in a hovel haunted by ghosts of the distant past. I imagined being plunged into perpetual oblivion that kept me from telling what was real and what my imagination created.
Meanwhile, I could hear all my previous apprehensions crumble like frail crystals shattered in the middle of the gelid night. Nothing mattered anymore since the day I buried all my hopes permanently and sealed my most coveted dreams in a precious box that vanished into the ocean. The only thing I could discern was the echoes of my fears’ screams. All my treasures faded away in the darkness of my nightmares after the most impetuous tempests struck my ephemeral haven made of seashells and sand.
Dreadful remembrances altered into feral ghouls, which haunted my disquieted slumber perpetually, leaving my heart a desolate garden of withered flowers. In silence, I left that state of obliteration of all my delights without any merriment but only a burning grief. An obscure rain started falling all over me and gloomy clouds surrounded me almost to support me in my exhausting attempt to flee my obstinate fate. No tears could have been enough to express my dismay now that even I had become a creature of that realm of sorrow.
Sublime was the sight of the night sky before I could gaze at my descent, and after I got lost in the middle of nowhere repeatedly, I abandoned my aim to capture dreams eternally and evermore.
Elisabetta Esther