My sleepless nights made of grief and regret ensnared me in their murky web, as if to subjugate me to their languid call toward an abyss of misery and anguish. The ocean chanted an elegy for my solemn sorrow, almost as if to ceremoniously celebrate my distress. And even the birds couldn’t help but pity me as my dismay was conspicuous like the ocean waves.
The abyss of shadows welcomed me as if I were destined to lose every wish and hope, for I felt the bitterness of my fate, whose manifestation of generosity took the form of painful anguish. From my tears grew anger and vengeance like evergreen flowers. Memories kept being unwelcome intruders, not leaving me alone even during my peaceful sleep.
The bells of a forsaken chapel rang like spectres of the night, and I felt the solitude grasping me with its intangible strength, as if it wanted me to be part of its deserted realm of invisible and silent creatures. As I proceeded in exhaustion and haze, I couldn’t perceive the sight of the stars, which the gloomy clouds hid behind their majestic veil.
My sleepless nights were not over yet since they had become an endless eternity made of frail dreams and broken promises. Softly the sea breeze stretched the branches of withered trees toward me like arms willing to hug me in their emptiness. A sudden rainfall caused me to lose my route and I became entangled in a secret garden.
In vain I summoned spirits and ghosts to grant me some sort of furlough from my disastrous and tumultuous fortune, which led me to ancient ruins where no dreams were allowed to manifest, leaving me with decayed fragments of elegies that seemed like interrupted magic spells. After all I suffered in my sleepless nights, I had become darkness. And there was no beginning or end in that vast expanse full of sacred oblivion.
Elisabetta Esther