Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: stars

  • The Stars Fall From The Firmament

    The Stars Fall From The Firmament

    The Stars Fall From The Firmament

    The stars fall from the firmament in a whirling dance
    I want to lose the capability to desire
    I only want to dream of being set free from my passions
    And wander away
    Flying fairy
    Like a butterfly in a garden of violets and lilies
    I live a silent life made of poetry and books
    I communicate with people through my poetry
    The rest of the time, I am silent
    My silence can say many things or absolute nothing
    It depends on the sensibility of the others
    I might appear a cold person because I am timid
    I try to protect myself from men who have so much interest in me
    Interest that I don’t reciprocate
    It is challenging for me to have an enjoyable time outside
    It is like I don’t have any right to take a simple walk
    Being constantly bothered in the streets.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I Want To Embrace My Fears

    I want to embrace my fears
    Even though I end up crying for so many reasons
    I want to love the pains in my heart

    Sometimes I have the feeling that I am in a ballroom
    With thousands of mirrors covering the walls and ceilings
    Each mirror reflecting a different image of myself

    I have to break every chain of the past that holds me captive
    Every day I am reborn as a new creature who is essentially made of stars
    I wonder how much of myself am I willing to lose to please the conventions

    Every time I write
    I am always scared of overexposing myself
    And anxiety overcomes

    People think I am too weird, complicated and anticonventional
    Just because they don’t understand me
    They cannot see in me anything else than a tropical flower

    Sometimes I am subject to street harassment
    Which is a habit that will never pass as well as the rape culture
    Society normalises and supports sexual objectification and criticisms

    I am a descendent of the witches who weren’t burned.
    Esther Racah

  • She Is Lost In Her Mind

    She Is Lost In Her Mind

    She Is Lost In Her Mind

    She is lost in her mind
    She might be weird, but she couldn’t be otherwise
    And sometimes she would pass days hiding under a sea of blankets
    Every mirror of her house would be covered with drapes
    Being too afraid to see her reflections
    Avoiding being seen in the streets
    She was concealing her face with her long locks
    Nobody would know her voice because of her silence
    She was dreaming every single day, living in her own imaginary world
    Sometimes overthinker and melancholic
    And sometimes too much aware of her own anguish
    She doesn’t belong to the society she lives in
    It is like she was born on another planet
    And all the humans around her, far and near
    They were just aliens to her
    Her dreams were, are and always will be her pleasures
    Because she always has been made of stars.
    Esther Racah

  • Regrets

    Regrets

    Regrets

    Regrets are painful longings for a lost part of myself
    And like shadows, they obscure my secret rose garden
    Introspection is nothing but a useless speculation
    My desire is a burning longing for ideal and eternal love
    In my dreams, the stars have whispered secrets to me that cannot be revealed
    Secrets that I know very well but I will never reveal
    So terrible to even think about them

    Once I was too tiny to understand and react
    And I was too astonished and everything too tragic to understand
    Often and suddenly, they come into my mind
    My femininity and fragility are my shields
    Sometimes a wicked irrationality dominates my mind
    There is nothing to be done to undo the past
    And regrets are just useless vexations.
    Esther Racah

  • The Apotheosis Of My Illusions

    The Apotheosis Of My Illusions

    The Apotheosis Of My Illusions

    The apotheosis of my illusions
    When I pretend to conform to absurd customs
    Laying in an algid iron cage while I dream of freedom
    Trying to protect the essence of myself
    I cling to my excessive determination
    And once I release my scream of despair
    I become an ethereal creature
    Surrounded by glistening stars
    Gracefully I embrace my griefs
    Since I am made of my own dreams and anguishes
    Silently I compose my chant of foolishness
    Letting the oblivion fooling me
    Forgetting about who I am
    I become aware that eternity strokes my soul
    As I detach from the material finiteness
    All my senses melt like snowflakes
    As soon as I become part of the sublime
    Unwinding my dreams and avoiding all the chains
    I attempt to disentangle myself from my illusions.
    Esther Racah

  • Dust And Deception

    Dust And Deception

    Dust And Deception

    Dust and deception is all I have left
    Everything I built became dust
    Everything I dreamt of became a deception
    Nothing remains in my heart
    Which is aiming to gleam like the stars in the night
    Blank is my mind like the dark void
    Which is not able to rebuild a castle made of dreams
    Disquiet is my mind so engaged in anxiety and haste
    As soon as I perceive the light of a new hope
    It crumbles to pieces like a crystal bowl
    Hence suspended in a spasmodic expectation
    I am lured to the cynicism as a peeled orange
    Which will wither with the time
    And while I am captivated by regrets and discomforts
    Life flies like a rushing torrent amid a quiet forest.
    Esther Racah

  • Waiting The Night

    Waiting The Night

    Waiting The Night

    Waiting the night with its dark awareness
    The fog descends, dimming the lights and colours
    Restless is my mind wandering in the abstraction
    A whirlpool of nightmares entraps me
    Bound with all disquiet and eagerness
    My mood swings like the several shades of the sky
    Infinite is the darkness keeping majestic secrets
    Hollow is my soul as I lose myself in the wilderness of sorrow
    More than ever, I can rely on my senses of chaos and fear
    Not at all aware of my blank destiny
    Hopes and dreams fade away at the sight of consciousness
    Life is abstractly away like a gleaming star in the universe
    I persist in becoming who I can be
    I persevere in fleeing my obligations and duties
    My soul is dark as the deepest night
    My mind is a victim of a cruel bewilderment
    Floating in the sea of the uncertainty
    I strive to survive, anchoring myself to the beauty of art.
    Esther Racah

  • The Unadorned Truth

    The Unadorned Truth

    The Unadorned Truth

    The unadorned truth hangs from the tree of life
    Dry branches break when facing a gust of wind
    Shivering emotions fluctuate in the ethereal world of the senses
    Far from the common discernment of the reality
    The truth is an inaccessible treasure
    Only time and wisdom can unveil it
    Humbleness is a silent and invisible virtue
    It hides somewhere in the soul
    But the external noise hushes it
    The stars gleam timidly in the dark blue of the night
    When dismay is ineluctable, darkness is my haven
    My heart is in grief and my mind in the obliviousness.
    Esther Racah

  • Hypothetical Dreams

    Hypothetical Dreams

    Hypothetical Dreams

    As faint and golden glares stroke me
    I think about a peaceful instant when I can fly away in my hypothetical dreams
    Now and then, I can be myself without pretending to be someone else
    Someone I am not, and I will never be
    Far from society pretences and hypocritical conventions
    Musical notes reach into my soul, which is a convergence of several temperaments
    Wondering how many ways I can live parallel lives
    Wondering how many ways I can detach myself from this foolish reality
    Because I live in my imaginary and hypothetical dreams
    And I’m trapped in a safe hideout
    Hiding is the only way I can protect myself
    Disappearing in the vastness of the universe
    Fragile dreams like thin crystals, which are gleaming in the moonlight
    Being my soul a frail fractal of an imaginary universe of stars
    Lost in abandon and oblivion once my only companion is the solitude
    Now that it is useless to be thoughtful and considerate
    Now that I am not anymore my past self
    I’m different versions of myself
    It is never too late to discover an unusual and astonishing introspectiveness
    Delight and sorrow wrap my soul as I touch purple roses
    Lusting for their beauty and purity
    I can rest forever in my cruel and hypothetical dreams
    Now that the stars whisper in the luxuriant firmament.
    Esther Racah

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