Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: tragic beauty

  • Love Like A Sweet Poison

    Love Like A Sweet Poison

    Love like a sweet poison seeped into the heart, and time no longer existed in the realm of the eternal night. Passion burned as an everlasting flame and it altered into eternal desire.

    A tenacious devotion was rooted in a ground made of ice and stardust. And I stood among crimson roses and the nocturnal mist, under the sight of an eerie moon.

    The darkness enveloped me like a sumptuous dress wrapped around me. The faraway shadows of anguish and dread were chasing me like ominous ghouls.

    I was seeking ghosts that reminded me of lost loves while wandering accompanied by my madness as the only chaperone.

    No pang could ever touch me anymore since I’ve been depleted of my heart that was standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, beating loudly like an incessant cry.

    My only way to exist was to roam erratically without any guidance. I was already a creature of the world of darkness. I had altered a myriad times in numerous ways.

    I had definitely forsaken the world of mortals, with whom I never felt any affinity. I didn’t mind losing myself in that tremendous labyrinth.

    As far as I could proceed, I felt the nothingness swallowing me with delight. A storm had subjugated me and shattered my being.

    Not even a speck of myself had been kept by the frozen soil, because a whirlwind had stolen my essence. I was held captive by the abyss of darkness and there were no expectations or delusions.

    I finally remembered as a long-lost memory that time no longer existed, when love seeped into the heart like a sweet poison. It burned slowly, transforming into eternal desire.

    And there I lay down underneath the soil soaked with ice and flames with my heart standing on a dry branch of a dead tree, dreaming fearlessly and ceaselessly like a funerary elegy.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Seeking Dreams

    Seeking Dreams

    Seeking dreams in nowhere on a winter night with no stars but only a mystical fog and gloomy clouds. Not even a bird was flying in the leaden and dark sky. Only the clouds were gazing at me like curious observers, and the wind whispered legends of despair to me.

    I signed and dreamed of ocean floors paved with diamonds and stars. I fantasised about mermaids lost in submerged islands, and snow-capped waterfalls on remote cliffs. Time faded away when I was dreaming. Not even the impetuous cold rain could distract me from my nightdreaming.

    Foolishness never abandoned me, while I was consumed by my passionate longings, which brought me to the edge of the universe. Wonderful darkness enticed me, and I summoned my own demons and spirits, surrounded by exquisite midnight flowers.

    Folly and wisdom accompanied me in my everlasting journey to a netherworld descent. Though I have visited heavens and abysses, boundless valleys and inaccessible mountains, I have always ended up at the very same point of origin, namely my archaic abyss of despair.

    Seeking dreams in nowhere on a frosty night with no glimmering lights but only a ghostly haze and dismal shadows. No living creature crept close to me, but only wraiths and eerie ghouls, which kept following me in every abode and realm I dwelled in.

    I foresaw my decay and the obliteration of all my dreams that I had sought for so long in vain. Drowning in the emptiness and losing my heart, became a nightmare of mine under the shape of an incubus visiting my slumber. Arcane verses, evoking a magic spell, were engraved on my soul.

    Scarlet flowers adorned my hair that flowed on my face, while my tears of sorrow soaked the frozen soil. Nightmares and thorns poisoned my never-ending nights, tainting the sky with chaos. Numbed and mesmerised by swirling griefs that never hesitated to tarnish my keenness, I softly succumbed to my unavoidable demise.

    While seeking dreams, I harboured enemies in my soul, fooling myself with obsessions that left indelible marks in my senses. I had to renounce being myself and let the darkness swallow all my desires. In a realm of liminality, I was cast away and compelled to endure agony.

    Abandoned in my dismay, I found no solace. I metamorphosed into sorrow. I became what I had feared the most, the very thing that had damaged my heart. I ended up in loneliness and turmoil, seeing my own reflection staring back at me in fractured and disfigured mirrors.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sparkles Of Sadness

    Sparkles Of Sadness

    Sparkles of sadness manifested in the gloomy forest of my dreams. Lulled by a torpor of defeat and annihilation, I attempted to traverse a place unknown to me, with astonishment and wonder, yet, at the same time, with a heart steeped in sadness.

    Although the silver moon illuminated this unknown and dark forest, the further I proceeded, the more it seemed that I was losing myself in oblivion and in the abyss of my fears and uncertainties, for it was there that I was rooted; my heart was torn by a sense of suspension into the void.

    Indeed, I was overwhelmed by my nightmares, which slowly revealed themselves in the shapes of ghosts and wraiths, as I proceeded along my uncertain path without a clear destination. My gentle pains, which scourged my heart and disturbed my mind, rendered me powerless in the face of such apparitions.

    Even unwillingly, I had fallen victim to a vicious and infamous game of which I was not the author. And I could not even, powerless as I was, awaken from that fatal torpor, which was defeating me every night, as well as the wind consumes even the most unyielding rock.

    However much I struggled to oppose the oblivion that sought to obliterate me and erase my name, I could find no hold, no aid that might pull me out of those circumstances of affliction and decay. My heart was lacerated and it shed all my hopes like a raging cascade.

    Weeping and pain were the only faithful companions that followed me everywhere. In this realm of sepulchral silence and the sighs of souls that could find no peace, I remained still, awaiting my metamorphosis.

    Ghostly and drowsy, I could no longer proceed and I fell beneath the weight of my own anguish, as if it were made of gigantic, menacing clouds bearing down upon me. And thus I vanished, leaving nothing but a trail of sparkles of sadness and scarlet petals, as if I had never been born, as if no one had ever known that I had existed.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • A Storm Of Tragedies

    A Storm Of Tragedies

    A storm of tragedies suddenly overwhelmed me
    Dragging me into the abyss of despair and surrender
    A delight for my weeping heart that was burning like an inextinguishable flame
    My fate knew no expectation
    No longing was any longer granted to me
    I had been overwhelmed once again
    And I had been forsaken by my own stars
    Rather, I had been retained in shadows and dismay
    Lost in my soliloquies
    I realised that it was all a dreadful dream
    A nightmare in disguise
    And so the eternal night never came to an end
    The sky was invisible to me
    While I was relegated to my secret vault
    In solitude and dismay, I was destined to endure my existence
    Emptiness was swallowing me from within
    As I could hear the sound of my tears collapsing incessantly on the frigid soil
    Anguish didn’t spare my heart, stroking it like a ceaseless dismay
    I knew not what destiny might have reserved for me
    Dread kept my heart in pangs, helpless in its naivety and foolishness
    Even the moon averted its gaze from me
    Whilst a deafening silence surrounded me
    The cold wind of the eternal night could no longer hurt me
    Since I had become a creature of darkness, without longings or expectations
    My downfall had become my reprieve
    I had found delight in discomfort and grief
    My secret refuge was made of dust and bare stones
    My comfort and haven were made of chaos
    Dreaming of starlight and love was only a remote chimeara
    I was no longer the privileged creature of stars and rainbows
    Instead, I belonged to the realm of gloomy skies and vicious traps
    In my frozen loneliness and seclusion
    Therein I was destined to subsist in decadence and sweet melancholy
    With no rescue or transformation
    Pearls and tears were flowing down my face and body
    And I remained therein forever.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Collapse Of My Haunted Illusions

    The Collapse Of My Haunted Illusions

    The collapse of my haunted illusions began the night of my fall into the dark chasm of my fears, where I was tormented by relentless thorns and shadows that pierced my heart until its light slowly faded.

    My soul was burning fiercely, and I could hear the screams of my dreams, alive and breathing, willing to get the last essence of my foolishness. I bore tormented scars cherishing my grief and sorrow. All in the while of my transformation and decay.

    I was reborn and perished oftentimes, as long as my heart was struck by the many thunders of madness and self-deception. Everything could have obliterated me in the valley of despair and grief.

    I was bound to the chains of the deserted version of myself and obscure presages. The fate surrendered at the sight of the tower of my solitude, where I was the only captive in the presence of wraiths made of tragic illusions.

    My tragedy was an everlasting and bright gift, like a hidden treasure. I knew not what could be expected beyond the several doors that kept me locked up. I could have cried all night long and no phantom would have heard me.

    My tears were pearls descended on my neck like graceful raindrops, glimmering on my skin. While obsessive fears were swallowing my soul, and as much as I might run, they hunted me wherever I wandered during my endless bleak nights.

    Loneliness was retaining me as a creature of its own realm. And the steadiness of silence besieged my delusional abode. My heart, subdued in sorrow, cast faint shadows that traced sacred shapes upon the frigid soil.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Infinite Abyss Of Despair

    The Infinite Abyss Of Despair

    The infinite abyss of despair and death
    In an endless tunnel of oblivion and loss
    I’m always there like a bound creature without free will
    I cannot escape from that dungeon deprived of freedom and choice
    Whispering to the rain, I wait for my end to arrive
    So much anxiety and fear crushed my heart into a thousand pieces
    And now I’m just a shadow of myself
    A creature invisible to the multitude who denies my existence
    A noose around my neck tightens almost as if it wants to strangle and annihilate me

    Hence I proceed without trembling towards my endless torment and agony
    In an infinite loop of life and death
    I continuously died to be reborn and I was ceaselessly reborn to die
    Now and forever
    Nowhere and everywhere
    Ensnared by voices that pull me downward — forevermore
    Seeking refuge among cloudy skies and storms
    Seeking salvation among the voiceless creatures of nature

    Wandering at the sound of raindrops and wind gusts
    Under the weight of guilt and unforgiveness
    Followed by the ghosts of those whom I once loved and cherished most
    I ended up in the infinite abyss of despair and misery
    While listening to the echo of my sighs and silent sobs

    Everything emptied my heart into nothingness
    Everything consumed me, reducing me to a voiceless pale phantom with a lifeless soul

    And suddenly obstinate sounds resounded around me
    They reminded me about the fragility of life and joy
    Indeed, everything was destined to decay and perish
    Even the silence in my heart

    The dark emptiness stared at me
    While I mourned endlessly my lost favourite affections
    In an endless funeral with bitter tears and sadness

    So I renounced every reflection of mine
    Living in self-loathing and contempt of my heart
    In the infinite abyss of despair and death
    Elisabetta

  • The Memories Of The Past

    The Memories Of The Past

    The memories of the past drag me into their swirling realm of despair.
    Alone, I find myself in a desolate place, a pit of the living dead—buried memories in the graveyard of my past. All I see are rows of lifeless trees.

    I pretend it is autumn, or perhaps winter, yet in truth this entire landscape is but a reflection of my dead and decaying soul.
    The darkness of the night does not frighten me—on the contrary, it is part of me. I am no longer who I once was; I have become a spirit of the night.

    The emptiness within me is filled with fears and regrets, and with all that I have lost unconditionally and irreversibly—things I shall never have again. And thus, the wreck of my existence: not only is it wretched, but also laden with pain.

    My cries of pain and my screams of despair are worth nothing. I have never been worth anything—only to wither my soul, already inscribed with daggers of disappointment and betrayals, inflicted by monstrous and mortally deplorable beings.

    All my crumpled desires and shattered dreams lie underground among the remnants of my memories and regrets. Left without emotions and left without words, I surrender to my nightmares, to my anguished obsessions that permeate my heart and tear it into a thousand pieces.

    My tormentors advance relentlessly, ready to tear me apart and destroy me in oblivion and forgetfulness. How much longer I must suffer, I do not know. I only know that cruel fate has entrusted me to the ship of the wretched and lost souls.

    The memories of my past haunt me insolently and give me no peace, and so I shall spend the eternity of my non-existence as a restless spirit.
    Elisabetta

  • On The Verge Of The Abyss

    On The Verge Of The Abyss

    On the verge of the abyss
    Having waited for the night to come and take me
    My heart had beat for the last time
    In vain I tried to exhume my dead memories
    Nothing could have been done to save them
    I was destined to doom and decay
    Despair tore my clothes and left my body covered in bruises

    On the verge of my death
    I was not capable of changing my fate
    Everything had been planned by a mischievous fate
    My heart collapsed under the spell of wicked deceptions
    I had fallen captive to the dungeon of my desires
    I was at the mercy of my instincts, and I surrendered to them

    Summoned by the silent force of the wind
    I followed the call without hesitation or fear
    My steps left no imprint on the ground
    After the night had erased them completely
    Shadows guided me on my path to darkness and defeat
    So slow was my journey that I had no remembrances anymore

    I was no longer a slave of others’ deception
    I wasn’t available any longer to lend my heart to mortals
    I became the wind and the night
    I was transformed into darkness and solitude
    An invisible creature of the twilight

    And there, on the edge of the forsaken realm of the void
    I dissolved like morning haze into the eternity of forbidden dreams
    I had no shape, no name and no sorrow to bear in my heart
    There was only absolute silence bearing my crown of shadows
    I was no longer a perishable mortal
    I had become the abyss itself.
    Elisabetta

  • Waiting For An Omen

    Waiting For An Omen

    Waiting for an omen
    Disillusioned by my fate
    Seeking magic numbers
    With no outcome
    Forgetting to have faith in mortals
    I was resolute in carving my book of ignominious names

    Not forgetting luck
    Not forgiving
    I remembered one by one their shameful name
    The puppet theatre had ended
    Without drapes
    Without pretense
    Their game was over

    Surrounded by a deserted and sombre landscape
    I contemplated the sense of life and death
    In the attendance of shadows and memories
    Silver and dark clouds arrived suddenly
    As unexpected guests

    Having forgotten me
    The stars hovered over the darkness of the night
    I cried in desolation and meditated on my own misery
    At that very particular moment, I knew I was born to perish

    I was just an ephemeral creature deprived of those fate gifts granted to everyone but me
    Softly, the enchanting spell of a midnight hymn hypnotised me
    Falling into a deep slumber from which I never again awoke

    Indeed, I became the property of the Hades
    The realm of eternal torment
    And there, I didn’t need any waiting
    I didn’t wait for anything

    Waiting for an omen was just a faded memory
    In a kingdom where no expectation was allowed to exist.
    Elisabetta

  • Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked Up In My Fantasies

    Locked up in my fantasies
    Aware of my unawareness
    Softly indulging in my pleasant decay
    Falling into the trap of loneliness
    In an existence deprived of love and delight
    My desires and fantasies became the only salvation

    I knew not how long I’d been locked up in my realm
    Lovely dreams visited my feeble slumber
    On the silent nights, protected by the shadows of ghosts
    Waiting for some fallen luminary to glimmer sparkles toward me
    I lingered through eternity
    In the darkness of my mind

    Confused and dismayed I wandered in my loneliness
    Starving delight and merriment
    As I was doomed to a cruel and infamous fate
    Nothing I could have accomplished to change the course of occurrences
    I was chained to a sinking boat
    While hearing the screams of spirits haunting me

    Until my very last day of existence
    The infamous tyranny to which I had been enslaved, had disposed of my life
    My heart was crumbled to dust of decay
    My body was the representation of dread and abuse
    Time was not anymore the master of my life
    As I became part of the realm of the dead

    The sun no longer shone upon me
    Instead, the tempestuous clouds obscured all the stars
    Leaving me sightless for the deep obscurity of the night
    I was not anymore aware of my lugubre surroundings
    Trapped within my own nightmares
    Disregarded by the world outside

    I floated into an endless silence
    Each gust was a sigh fading in the void
    I sought fragments of my sparkling and fleeting dreams
    Where once there was love, now only shadows had remained
    My mind had become a labyrinth of dead fantasies
    I stumbled through the graveyard of shadows

    Chasing glimmers of elation I could never grasp
    As each vision slipped away like grains of sand
    The cold embrace of solitude came to be my only companion
    While I longed for the glimmer of a flame that would never ignite
    The wicked claws of my destiny held me captive
    Tugging at the fabric of my fragile hope

    I still lingered in the darkest of prisons
    Where even the faintest flicker of rebellion was obliterated
    In the end, I was nothing but a fading star
    Falling from the sky of my own illusions
    To be swallowed entirely by the noiseless abyss of darkness
    I was locked up in my fantasies, made of void and oblivion
    Where my dreams dissolved into nothingness.
    Elisabetta

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