Waiting for my dreams to wither like dry flowers
Constantly sinking into the oblivion of sadness and dizziness
Unaware of what could happen to my soul
Having lost every hope to save my dreams
Finding my sweet haven in my darkest grief
Slowly avoiding thinking and surrendering to the course of my vicious fate
I let the ocean waves swallow me into the chasms of unconsciousness
To avoid seeing the reflection of my memories in mirrors of shady dismay
The silence of the night lulled me to a deep slumber where I finally could feel peace and gaiety
My idle heart became a frozen stone full of sand and dust
Whilst I wandered in the desolate forest of my fears
Waiting for my dreams to be my only consolation
For I was aware of the evanescence of the stars gleaming in the night sky
Indeed, every single anguish of mine became a tiny leaf that the cold breeze lifted away from my gaze
So quickly was flowing my existence like a tumultuous river that I lost the sense of time
And I remained therefore languid in a garden without flowers or trees
A garden of darkness and shadows where no mortal could find me
My foremost hideaway in which I could flee the hideous threats from the world of reality
I didn’t pay attention to the consequences of my enchanted illusions
Dread and cynicism accompanied me at every step as unwelcome and unavoidable guests
Secrets were locked within me and only nonsense was guiding me in the eternal gloom of my seclusion
In vain I strove to reach out to the moonlight
Nevertheless, I had been cast away too far
Surrounded by nothing but loneliness and bleakness
I was left crying tears made of madness and turmoil.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: turmoil
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Waiting For My Dreams
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An Evanescent Bliss
An evanescent bliss came to me in my nocturnal dreams. It was like a bright flame that burned my heart, and I cherished it as a precious jewel. Although I knew it was just an ephemeral fantasy, it was my only treasure to live for. Until the day when my mirrors fractured, and truth became a deception.
So much dismay was inside my frail heart that I couldn’t realise I was still alive. Nevertheless, I wasn’t able to admit my loss. I was still willing to embrace illusions and to ignore forgery. And, at the end, I saw everything that was lying behind my imagination.
In a decrepit and dusty attic, I found chests of ambrosial delights laced with poison. They were there, on purpose, just to attract attention, but their intent was lethal. They were glad to offer delightful winks of bliss and joy in exchange for souls.
I lost my euphoria, and every thrill of ecstasy faded away. My mirrors revealed hidden secrets to my heart. I had to encounter my dreads, and the truth I didn’t wish to disclose. Candies tasted bitter and toxic. My heart was tainted with venom and revenge. Turmoil devoured my heart and turned me into a scarlet rose.
My misery transformed into chaos and resentment. I embodied the dismay that enclosed me. I became a victim of my own naivety, and it was too late to remove those toxic emotions from my heart. What had teased me at first was now haunting me nastily.
I had to touch the emptiness to feel the darkness inside me. Dreadful enchantments enticed me like familiar spells. I sank into the abyss of sadness, desiring to become eternal and infinite. Grief was engraved in my heart, and I completely forgot every kind of evanescent bliss.
Elisabetta Esther -
Teardrops Of Blood
Teardrops of blood descended on my cheeks like timid waterfalls
While the cold freeze of a winter night stroked me
A memento of my mortality and fragility
Like dancing leaves falling from trees under the influence of an extravagant windSince the day my evil fate threw me into a world of misery
I escaped from reality to find myself in the realm of bizarre dreams and odd nightmares
I had found myself living in a new world
A place of ghostly apparitions and utopiasBurning flowers became sparkling torches, guiding me in my journey
In this labyrinth of darkness, I felt so overwhelmed that I could feel the scent of death
The demise was waiting for me as if I couldn’t commit any mistake
And I had to drink from the cup of poison that the oblivion offered meI became intoxicated by illusions and deceptions
I started to believe every lie whispered to my heart
And I bled all my soul out, crying teardrops of blood
Random thoughts captured my mind, and it was like I was the captive of my own insanityI became the representation of sorrow and decay
Not alive anymore, I was a wanderer of the underworld
I didn’t belong anymore to the material reality
I was an ethereal spirit of the darknessI became my own shadow and guide on an unknown route
Not even the stars or the moon were there to lead the way for me
I started to mourn myself because I knew my fate was doomed
And death was there to wait for meIn solitude and anguish, my teardrops of blood were my only comfort
Poisoned and dazzled as I was, there was no resolution to my senseless disorder
Madness had me as a captive in its cursed dungeon
Surrounded by the skulls of those who perished from folly and frenzy.
Elisabetta -
Betrayed By My Own Delusions
Betrayed by my own delusions
I imagine being an ethereal fairy in my realm of dreams
Where no creature could ever perturb my heart
And I could cry out my soulVain becomes my attempt to remain wise and sane
Insanity and madness are my new names
I forget my essence to transform into another myself
And in this metamorphosis, I’m the ruler of my own kingdomSilence is my new favourite language
I can touch flowers of emotions whose scent bewitches me
I’m under the enchanting spell that I’ve cast upon myself
I’m a turmoil of love and death, and no storm can prevent me from my intentionsQuietude is my favourite to express myself
I stare at my several reflections in the mirror of disquietude
And I hide behind the magnificence of my exquisite garden of dreams
Where I can fantasise about all my envisioned hallucinationsBecause I adore soaking in the fountain of everlasting passions
As my limitless yearnings for decadence and dissolute emptiness increase at night
During my delightful slumber
When I’m betrayed by my own delusionsLying in my garden of lush and mesmerizing flowers
I forget my name and my essence
And I don’t feel any fear or concern about my fate
Because I belong to the darkness and oblivionThe eternal night with starry skies belongs to me
I become an odd fairy floating freely among her flowers of decay
I identify myself with decadence and extreme love
Because I’m wild and a storm of passionsMelancholy and sadness are my steady companions
From which I can never separate myself
And all my blooming flowers wither and fade away
As soon as I weep for my long-lost innocenceBetrayed by my own delusions
I forget myself and I’m left bewildered
Intoxicated with the poison of my own desires
Lost in the turmoil of my madness and decadence.
Elisabetta -
Nonsense In The Evening
Nonsense in the evening
Sad and apathetic, I abandoned myself to nonsense
As I was supposed to be someone with no state of mind
Indeed, I had no aims or plansI felt like a dead leaf falling from a tree
I felt like a pinwheel that spins empty under the influence of the wind
Was I supposed to feel something other than discontent?
It might be as I was listening to the birds singing in the treeAnd so the evening passed like the flowing of a quiet river
Unperturbed by what was around me
Because the abyss of anguish was enticing me
Trapping me in a dungeon of sorrow and dismay
As I had the certitude that there was no hope for meDreaming and deluding myself has always dragged me into a labyrinth of darkness and decay
A storm of turmoil invested me
Leaving me astray
Faraway from any horizon of sanityEmptiness became my realm of fancy
Although I have always aspired to belong to a different kingdom
Where the dust of stars would fall over me
Enlighting me with their comforting and candid glowThe towering and outstanding sight of my nightmares was hypnotising me
And I could not avoid to flee from them
As they cast a wicked spell on me
To eternally suffer from all the most ominous hoaxesShuttered windows were in front of me
The windows to my dreams and desires were cruelly sealed
Nonsense in the evening was my special date
No stars were present in my nocturnal sky
No moon was there to wait for meAll my sparkling wishes faded into the infinite decadence
Because I belonged only to decadence and I longed to be surrounded by dust of decay
The decay of my wisdom and certainty was the only certitude I cherished in my treasure chest
And all that could remain in my heart was nonsense in the evening of my day.
Elisabetta -
A Pang In My Heart
A pang in my heart is stabbing me like a dagger
A wild storm initiated an endless turmoil
Like a ritual of initiation that crumples my soul
And the obsessive feelings of burning loveAstonished to have lost the ability to control my senses
Like a nocturnal butterfly doomed to be burnt to flame
When she is attracted by the betrayal of an innocent flame
Lost in the darkness of the nightMy will is enslaved to the lust of my senses
A treacherous journey in the midst of a tempest
Bewildered and bewitched by a wonderful stranger
Only destiny knows what will occur in the ethereal world of my dreamsA mesmerising enchantment captivates me to never let me free
Wandering in total obscurity with no direction
Feeling a fever of anguishes and hopes
While an incessant rain is falling over meUnlock doors let me think about you
As I would love to be there at that precise moment close to you
Even in silence while I cannot stop crying
Because I would love us to be immortal loversTime passes but not my love for you
Whose name is still unknown in my heart
I wish you could have been reading these verses
But I have the certitude that you will never read themSobbing and sighing I open the window of chaos
Embracing my inner tumult and apathetically breathing as I write
Is there a chance of meeting someone by destiny?
I always wonder about the reasons, but never about the surprises of lifeI lost hope and I dismissed myself to let stupor dismay me
While I cannot stop thinking about you
While I cannot stop loving you
Even if I’m just an anonymous neighbour of yoursI only treasure the spare and casual moments I had encountered you
In real life and in my dreams
And never forget about you
While a pang in my heart stabs me deeply.
Elisabetta -
Extravagant Flowers
Extravagant flowers bloomed under the shape of luscious desires,
In the nighttime darkness, they glowed in all their lush,
A manifestation of fearlessness and carelessness veiled in madness.Bleeding flowers blossomed in the garden of doom,
Where the land was soaked in blood and tears,
Profane dreams were made of darkness and sorrow,
Surrounded by the scent of dirty nightmares.Every statue in this luscious park was corrupted by the scent of frivolity,
A labyrinth where completely oblivious travellers, delusional romantics,
Wandered, losing themselves amidst the shadows of hollow trees.A storm of horror overwhelmed the garden,
A blast of fear tormented the extravagant flowers,
Leaving crystal blood drops to shine bright under the pale moonlight of dreadful dreams,
Among the twisted branches of trees, where shadows swirled in trepidation.Time no longer existed in this realm of manias and insanity,
Luscious blossoms became bleeding flowers during ominous nightmares,
In a secret realm where turmoil ruled supreme,
The garden of beauty and blood nourished itself on a storm of horrors.Sanity had lost its battle against the dominant frenzy,
Foolish desires ruled this magical, decaying world,
Where lavish and extravagant flowers bloomed in wild beauty,
And the sanguinary blossoms thrived in their crimson, sorrowful decay.Fountains of amnesia adorned the garden,
Their waters glistened a red glow under a darkened sky,
Whispering promises of freedom, although they lured only deeper into oblivion,
With their aromatic bleeding petals wet with forsaken tears.Extravagant flowers intoxicated the air with their fragrance of opulence,
A perfume that clouded all the senses,
Numbing reason and igniting insatiable longings
For more—more dreams, more madness, more of this luscious delirium.This luscious maze, once filled with beauty, spiralled into a darkened utopia,
Where bleeding flowers and lush desires intertwined,
Feeding on the decay, the obsessions, and the fleeting hopes of delusional hearts.
Its embrace was eternal, a cold and empty trap,
Where the most dreadful agony wielded the most power.
Esther Elizabeth Racah