Fragments of vanished dreams were hidden in my secret garden, where I passed my nights crying bitter tears of grief and frenzy. Without a doubt, I was not surprised when the decrepit windows shattered as the impetuous wind made them sway in a rhythm that reminded me of a funereal elegy. The ancient clocks of my antique manor ticked each minute as if I were on the verge of waiting for some spectral visit to announce me dreadful revelations. And so the nights passed although I didn’t notice how fast time was proceeding since the day I lost all my cherished treasures, of which all that remained now were fragments of vanished dreams. Not enough tears could express the devastation devouring my heart viciously with a destructive passion. Affliction tried to softly soothe me as if the only way to embrace sorrow was to become despair myself with all the dismay I could possess. I wandered aimlessly near the small lake, which mirrored my mean-spirited mansion beneath the veiled countenance of the moon while hiding behind a shroud of dismal clouds. I desired so badly to smell the black flowers of vengeance, which adorned my garden once upon a time. Tired and torn my heart was aching with the utmost distress in the middle of a gathering of ghouls, which chaperoned me slowly like shadows from the Otherworld. No longer was I waiting for fate to alter the course of tumultuous events that ricocheted through my existence. My imagination was leading my yearnings astray into the abyss of oblivion, so discouraged by a chaotic mess of unfair fears. Alas, without any hesitation, I dared to attempt to free myself from that grip of oppression, but every endeavour of mine was in vain. Nothing had remained in the sacred place of my secret garden but fragments of vanished dreams, of which only memories faded by the mists of time remained to me.
Elisabetta Esther
Tag: Victorian Gothic
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Fragments Of Vanished Dreams
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The Spell In The Mirror
The spell in the mirror made me step further back into the dark corners of my dilapidated dwelling, where echoes of my heart’s emptiness reverberated. No matter how much I tried to flee my bitter memories, I could find no refuge in that dwelling that should have protected me; instead, I fled into the unknown of the ancient oak forest—a dark place, yet more reassuring than other places that were too bitter for my heart. The night never left my side as I kept wandering aimlessly without a particular intention or destination. I felt the gelid blizzard surrounding me without hesitation, forcing me to find my haven inside a mysterious cave, where a lantern illuminated my surroundings. Extravagant visions kept me from falling into a deep sleep, like bewitching chimaeras. I could not avoid passing through a magical portal unknown to me and crossing the threshold into a wondrous world that filled me with awe and stupor. It was as if a burning desire overwhelmed my senses and heart, and all my wishes had transformed into magnificent flowers, whose exquisite perfume extended throughout that enchanted realm. The sun appeared in the middle of the night as to greet the stars hiding behind gloomy clouds, and the twilight was altered by the constant sunshine, making the realm glimmer like a treasure chest filled with splendid gems. The spell in the mirror had invited me to a world, which belonged only to me and was invisible to humankind. I was surprised by the peculiar beauty of that realm, hidden behind that magic mirror adorned with enchantments. I suddenly perceived that the surroundings were made of luxury furniture, and I gave a curious glance at a dark ornate desk holding a glass perfume bottle, beautiful roses, the ornate mirror and an armillary sphere, which resembled a model of celestial spheres. A black cat was resting on a stack of books by the window, and gazing out at the skyline, it whispered to me some arcane poetry. Meanwhile, I was admiring a large arched window looking out over a gothic city with spires and towers beneath the gaze of a theatrical sunset and a glowing moon. Certainly, I could not resist looking at some antique books where I did find the story of my life together with all the descriptions of my dreams and my trepidations; just like my predefined fate wanted to let me know that there was no possibility of changing the events that would have happened in the future. My very name was engraved on the richly adorned cover of every volume, which resembled a bewitched grimoire. The feline companion approached me as if I were a dear friend from a past life. An absolute silence descended all over the gloomy gothic chamber and I felt more than ever that I had become just one of the several evanescent chimaeras visiting my own dreams. The spell in the mirror was but a chaotic enigma in the infinite abyss of darkness and dreams.
Elisabetta Esther -
A Burning Grief
A burning grief shone in my heart like an everlasting flame in the middle of the night, when no creature of the magic oak forest dared to sing. An impetuous waft surrounded me like an ineluctable fate plotting behind my back, as the darkness would make me fade from sight. While an eagle-owl was my oracle whispering enigmas and revealing riddles, a tempest cast its sinister gaze on me as an ominous presage. The cloudy sky embellished the night with gloomy hues and wrapped the stars, too fearful to be seen, whilst the moon concealed its countenance behind an immense thunderhead. No impetuous trepidation could have been placed in my heart, at that very moment when I realised that the ghosts of my archaic past had left me in agony for so long a time. Nothing more could have been a reason for delight, once I discovered the pure emptiness of my existence made of dust and decay. Broken vows and erratic dreams departed from my modest dwelling, leaving a trail of withered flowers and oak scent. The most intrinsic essence of my existence was soaked with black tea, mint and vanilla. A burning grief kept its everlasting flame alive like a torch blazing in my heart, never leaving me for eternity. The chimes of an antique longcase clock resounded all over the oak forest, evoking wonder and apprehension. I felt a tremendous distress causing my agony to persist in its overwhelming purpose, and I believed that nothing anymore was really significant enough to influence my peculiar fate now that the darkness had welcomed every dream of mine. Alas, that burning grief not only had conquered my heart but it didn’t hesitate to defeat all my defences. Once again I could be allowed to win my reward for such a monumental sorrow since nightmares enclosed me even more than before.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Sun Of Dismay
The Sun of dismay irradiated its glowing rays of light all over me, as if I were not aware enough of my cruel fate. I wish I could have escaped from that hostile destiny, but I was bound to it by an eternal oath.
My sighs and tears could not arrest that tragic scenario poised to, all of a sudden, dismiss the totality of my most cherished dreams. Not even the nighttime legends and fairy tales could divert my attention.
The nocturnal echoes of the barn owls and nightjars interrupted my silent contemplation, every time I stared at the moon from my balcony adorned with ancient finds and magical manuscripts.
Beyond the horizon, I was not able to catch sight of anything else but my dreadful fears that filled my heart with a bitter anguish. And suddenly a freezing wind rose, freezing all the mirrors of my antique mansion.
The Sun of dismay didn’t appear anymore since the day I had decided to fall in love with my regrets and solitude. Nevertheless, far away, cast away from my memories, an obsolete shadow kept haunting the peaceful realm of my thoughts.
No candle dared to illuminate the darkness that dwelled in my realm of nightmares and oddities. My reflection in broken mirrors made me perceive that I was an evanescent hologram of my own imagination.
Was all that real or just a dream? A rocambolesque confusion suddenly struck me like a purely casual event. Surreal was everything I ever dreamed of and mostly the suspense of my bizarre fate.
My invisibility was my strength and the loneliness swarming around me tempted me to surrender to every hesitation of mine, even when the Sun of dismay persisted in materialising like an unexpected ghost.
All my wishes vanished and they were replaced by restlessness in the shape of ghouls wandering in the endless labyrinth of my chance, where destiny and randomness became indistinguishable.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Shadows Of Solitude
The shadows of solitude followed me in my endless journey of self-discovery
No storm or fog could distract my search for the mysteries that my fate dared to hide from my gaze
Extravagant fantasies appeared as evanescent chimaeras glowing like stars in the darkness of the night
Ravens and crows gathered around me, whispering arcana secrets to me, as they already possessed the knowledge reserved for immortal spirits
Even the rain and wind didn’t encounter an effortless manner to rule that kingdom
Where inky feathers fell all over me while I saw blank mirrors floating like autumn leaves on a pondThe shadows of solitude guided me in the deepest night in the midst of the misty forest of my dreams
I followed the trail enlightened by scattered candelabras and poetry rhymes
My perseverance was unapologetic and I cared only for my own wonder
Since the day I decided to abandon my bitter memories and leave them in the swamp of my past
The majestic and fierce vault of a Gothic cathedral hid the vast starry sky, inducing me to listen to the sumptuous melody of an ancient organ
I felt dizzy as if under a magic spell that had been cast on me by my most hidden desiresThe dimness of my fears vanished immediately as if they never existed and they couldn’t hurt anymore
So much glistening light I found in the deepest gloominess
Guided by my untamed heart ready to embrace every unreachable mirage
I followed the phantasmic echoes of the nocturnal clouds staring at me in my intricate voyage without a specific destination
Since the day I had willingly lost myself within the mist of my own dreams
I was no longer startled by my limits because I decided to become infinite and potent like a lone glistening luminary
Belonging to eternity
Perfect in my frailties.
Elisabetta Esther -
The Night Lies Over Me
The night lies over me like an immense quilted blanket of stars and gloomy clouds
Sweet are the whispers of my dreams that welcome me into their magical alcove
Lost in the depths of my imagination
I continue to wander in the night
Unaware of my fate, I am blindfolded on my uncertain path
Letting the disquiet burn in my heart as if I were a candle in a storm
I wait for the thorns to turn into feathers in my secret garden of mystery
Everything is concealed from my eyes
And I wake up in the haze and turmoil
In front of me only emptiness and the scent of fear
How long could I have fed myself on the illusion of my dreams?
I know not as long as the clouds obscured the stars
I covet fondly the freedom of birds lingering in the firmament
I struggle intensely to catch a glimpse of withered flowers and evanescent butterflies
And the night lies over me again like a layered shroud
Quietly the wind whispers legends and enchantments
Taking me into the fantastic realm of chimaeras and the overworld
Where no mortal soul could be conceived
Since only fabulous creatures inhabit my fantasy
Loneliness surrounds me and hushes my eagerness to lose myself easily in the maze of foolishness
I sense my dreams as the only reality where I am my tangible self
An ocean filled with delusions and empty shells attempts to swallow my awareness
The exquisite scent of roses and magnolias cannot rescue me any longer
Since the oblivion of the night’s desires takes hold of me
It was too late for me to redeem my heart
In the solitude of the dusk
When everything seemed so painfully calm
Alas, could I finally find myself in the lost abyss of my ineptitude?
I sigh and dream
No further wisdom enlightens my vision
Now that the night lies over me.
Elisabetta Esther