The eternal night within myself was sombre and mysterious,
Like an obscure, vast, nocturnal ocean welcoming the starless night sky,
A dark sky diving down into the sea depths.
Obsessive was the wind hissing ominously against me,
And in the same time, pushing me inside that frightening water realm,
Where I was very driven to jump and disappear forever.
Alone and lonely, I remained on the brink of the precipice,
From where I heard a captivating spell of death and delight,
Forgetting about every endeavour to endure a ruthless existence.
I became the night, and the darkness pierced me like a sharp, poisoned arrow,
Ready to be destroyed like a fragile crystal flower,
With the awareness that I would become a part of the infinite void.
And an absolute silence lit the memories within myself,
Condemning me to relive my past,
A realm I’ve always sought to escape.
The void opened its maw, revealing itself a chasm of legends and glooms,
Summoning me with its enchanting spell, recalling all I had lost,
A dirge was sung by several faceless mirrors of sorrow and despair.
Each remembrance burned like a fading flame,
Illuminating instants that I dared not revisit,
Although they lived like unbidden guests inside the darkness of my soul.
I strived to stay away from that endless obscurity,
Trembling as soon as its cold grasp reached and touched me,
Provoking disturbing sensations and visions within me as fragments of life shattered into countless pieces.
The waves below surged like spectral wraiths,
Touching, pulling, claiming me as their own belonging,
Promising delight and mirth in the depths of nothingness.
I lingered suspended in that ethereal dwelling between life and death,
Between the yearning to vanish,
And the curse of perpetual souvenirs.
Esther Elizabeth Racah
