The portal to emptiness was waiting for me
In hesitation and doubt, I didn’t feel any comfort
I didn’t trust what I was seeing or hearing
All I could be assured of was a feeling of uncertainty
It was as if I was living one of my several lives
Foolishly embracing my madness with such joy
Even the wind was terrified by me in its impetuosity
Being myself, a little tornado of intense emotions
Left by myself in my extreme solitude
I sought refuge from my overwhelming grief
Grief towering over me like a monumental demon
Making me an insolent creature of the night
Chasing darkness, I have finally found myself deep
On the ocean floor of my imagination
In my realm of wonders and chimeras
I desired to find my utopic idyll
My dreams touched me night and day
All over my body like soft strokes
Fantasies pierced my heart making it bleed
With their sweet and sharp daggers
I became a crimson rose, with all my petals tainted by blood
And pointed thorns as powerful as diamond gems
Although I was crying for my freedom from my roots and cold soil
I had to surrender to my slavery
And I could only dream over and over again without hope
I cried and sobbed like a winter storm
And I felt needles stabbing all my petals
Arrows of anguish and awareness of my impending decay
Nothing anymore could have released me from my huge distress and dismay
I was merely a red rose and nothing more
One of the several red roses of an ordinary city garden
Nothing anymore could have been important to me
The portal to emptiness was in front of me
And now, I was made of dust and decay
Decadence was my name and like a butterfly pinned on a wall
I remained still as a crystal rose standing on a barren earth.
Elisabetta