Secret Longings
by Esther Elizabeth Racah
In shadows deep where silence reigned,
I wandered once, with hopes long feigned.
My heart, a vault of secret fires,
Bore dreams that time and grief conspired.
A whisper lost within the night,
I sought the stars’ elusive light.
But every step, though soft and slow,
Led further from what I would know.
The walls of time grew thick with dread,
Encasing all that once was said.
Beneath the luminaries, a ghostly plea,
I carved my name on a memory tree.
Yet winds would blow, and dust would rise,
To hide the truths behind my eyes.
A gaze that lingered, filled with thirst,
But never quenched, forever cursed.
For there, within the hidden keep,
Where shadows walked, and spirits wept,
I found the longing, dark and cold,
A hunger profound, too strong, too old.
A silence hung like mourning’s shroud,
And in its grip, my head was bowed.
What secrets stirred within the stone,
Were mine to carry, mine alone.
The fleeting glimmer of what might,
Lay far beyond my dimming sight.
Yet still, I chased that phantom light,
Through endless corridors of night.
The taste of dreams, so near, so far,
It was lost beneath a darkened star.
And all that once seemed close, so clear,
Became a distant echo near.
In those long halls, where stillness crept,
The shadows deepened as I wept.
For what is longing but despair,
A wish that dies upon the air?
And though I sought with all my will,
The void within grew immensely still.
Each corner turned, each door I passed,
Led further from the truth at last.
And now, those fires once bright, once warm,
Are cold, mere embers in the storm.
The yearning that consumed my days,
Fades slowly in the endless maze.
No solace waits beyond this door,
Only echoes, nothing more.
And so, I wander, lost in thought,
A ghost with longings left to fraught.
