The yellow rose is my beloved flower
She watches over me like a star in a dream
She is always there for me, listening to me
I love my yellow rose, and she loves me
In my loneliness, I shun every human shape
My only refuges are poetry, literature, art and flowers
I am so overwhelmed by life that I cannot comprehend the sense of my fate
And so, I abandon myself to decadence and beauty
Daydreaming is one of my favourite solaces
I can fly whenever I wish with my imagination
Avoiding facing a reality and a society I don’t understand
Feeling always different from others
I cannot avoid to fall into the valley of despair
My yellow rose watches over me like a guardian angel
She is actually my angel, and I protects me from nightmares
In my secret and hidden garden made of secrets and enigmas
Where I can lose control of my emotions and be myself
Panic spasms shake me in my slumber, surrounded by the darkest darkness
And I can barely breathe, feeling invisible chains around my neck
And a poundage on my body like an enormous demon of the night
A ghoul that afflicts my heart with its sharp spear
The sound of the night birds awakes me in my bed
And I don’t see anymore my yellow rose that was just an illusion
A beautiful delusional vision of my subconscious
I’m all alone again and nothing can protect me anymore
All my life has been a majestic nightmare
A nightmare made of violence and survival
An agony made of horror and demise
Where there was no place for dreams and hopes

Being voiceless and invisible has been always my reality
In an existence where I never wanted to be alive
Being but a doll, half alive and half dead
A manipulated and deceived doll
The yellow was my deliverance and the only companion I had
But she never existed, for she was the fruit of my illusions
She was the shining star I had always dreamed of
And forgetting about this life
I continue to dream because I’m only made of dreams and stars.
Elisabetta
