Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: decadence

  • A Heart Of Stone

    A Heart Of Stone

    A heart of stone and blood was mine in the afterlife
    In my underworld abode full of evanescent masks and weeping phantoms
    A magic tower of spells touching the sky and the metallic moons
    Surrounded by soft clouds and dead trees

    Each mask whispered terrible secrets to me
    While smiling like court jesters inside the unbreakable walls of my castle
    A castle made of bones and blood of my enemies
    Beneath the shining firmament visited by the moons with many countenances

    I was the queen of the tragic world of pity and descend
    My decadence made a throne for me, carved in sorrow
    And there I lingered, dressed in shining sparkles and moonlight
    My gown was forged with threads of sighs and desires

    My gown was the manifestation of sighs and desires
    Eerie candles with their trembling flames cast light upon my visions
    Longings coiled like serpents made of smoke
    The walls wept decayed memories and each mirror was a doorway to arcane mysteries

    My absolute silence was a hymn to all I had lost
    The moons grieved the weight of my dismay
    An eternal ghost similar to myself waited for me beyond my crystal windows
    Ruins and beauty crowned me their sovereign

    My destiny was engraved in shadow and starlight
    I wandered in the labyrinth of forsaken fortunes
    I felt that the ancient soil trembled beneath my steps
    My heart was still carved from stone, seeking solace in vain

    I couldn’t break free from the chains of my own sorrow
    Although I reached for my reflection in the mirror
    And I knew that this was the fate I had chosen
    I knew I belonged to the occult underworld as an ethereal creature of darkness.
    Elisabetta

  • Haunting Dreams

    Haunting Dreams

    Haunting dreams devoured my mind during my tormented nights
    When the wind didn’t pass through my hair
    And the only sound I could hear was the whisper of the black roses entwined with my hair
    My gaze was staring at the moonless night sky
    Hoping for some star to appear before me
    But I was alone while wandering in the dark forest of my nightmares
    Where no creature or spirit emerged in the thick mist of darkness

    As soon as the moon arose from behind dark clouds
    Its pale glimmer stroked my face like petals of roses
    I felt the shadows surround me while dancing like phantoms
    They touched my gown with their icy claws
    The tragedy of my existence manifested into a dark fantasy
    Decadence became my castle of gloomy phantasmagoria
    Desolation became my alcove where I felt dearly cherished

    I fell in love with my hallucinations
    Trembling with lust and desire despite their gloomy embrace
    Every trace of wisdom had parted from me
    I had drunk from the goblet of insanity and amnesia
    I was finally a creature of the realm of haunting dreams
    Protected in my eternal slumber, I felt secure
    The infinity belonged to me and I was destined to never perish

    Whimsical was my mood and mutable like the wind in the springtime
    Fear didn’t belong to me anymore because I was a part of this macabre kingdom of chimaeras
    Not even my name dared to echo in that sacred silence
    I now dwelled as a requiem in the ravine of eternity
    I was cradled by gloominess and crowned by illusion
    I was no longer alive in my haunting dreams
    A bloom in oblivion and a ghost in the grave of forgotten stars
    Eclipsed by my own dark fantasies, I vanished into the hymn of endless dusk.
    Elisabetta

  • The Tides Of Death

    The Tides Of Death

    The tides of death and despair devour me into their abyss. Intimidated, I let the cold ocean swallow me in its frightening chaos. Humiliation and surrender chained me to the ocean floor; under constraints, I couldn’t escape my doomed fate.

    And I felt nothing, absolutely nothing. So much so that I was devoid of my essence and true self
    In the midst of emptiness, I was the embodiment of decadence and death. Nothing anymore could have hurt me because I was definitely belonging to the realm of demise.

    The tides of death transformed me into a creature of the realm of destruction and nothingness. I was a spirit of the dark abysses and my words were made of absolute silence. Betrayed by my dreams, I realised that I had no hope of staying alive and accepting my end.

    My heart had stopped beating and I was depleted like a withered rose. Nothing could have revived me and so much I strived to hold and cherish my desires, in the desperate endeavour to conquer my feeble spirit. The marine soil trembled under my faint body and opened into a dreadful gorge.

    Terror was the only emotion filling my heart. The distress was so brutal that it tore me apart. All that remained to me was to sing a silent song of desolation and defeat while collapsing under the weight of sorrow. I was all alone in the chasm of darkness and death, and nothing could have saved me.

    The tides of death possessed me and I couldn’t rebel against them. I was like a buried flower, dead before it was supposed to die. No tears rescued me from my deep despair. No slumber could have made me feel better. In that perpetual torpor, I was destined to remain for eternity and beyond.
    Elisabetta

  • Betrayed By My Own Delusions

    Betrayed By My Own Delusions

    Betrayed by my own delusions
    I imagine being an ethereal fairy in my realm of dreams
    Where no creature could ever perturb my heart
    And I could cry out my soul

    Invane becomes my attempt to remain wise and sane
    Insanity and madness are my new names
    I forget my essence to transform into another myself
    And in this metamorphosis, I’m the ruler of my own kingdom

    Silence is my new favourite language
    I can touch flowers of emotions whose scent bewitches me
    I’m under the enchanting spell that I’ve cast upon myself
    I’m a turmoil of love and death, and no storm can prevent me from my intentions

    Quietude is my favourite to express myself
    I stare at my several reflections in the mirror of disquietude
    And I hide behind the magnificence of my exquisite garden of dreams
    Where I can fantasize about all my envisioned hallucinations

    Because I adore soaking in the fountain of everlasting passions
    As my limitless yearnings for decadence and dissolute emptiness increase at night
    During my delightful slumber
    When I’m betrayed by my own delusions

    Lying in my garden of lush and mesmerizing flowers
    I forget my name and my essence
    And I don’t feel any fear or concern about my fate
    Because I belong to the darkness and oblivion

    The eternal night with starred skies belongs to me
    I become an odd fairy floating freely among her flowers of decay
    I identify myself with decadence and extreme love
    Because I’m insane and a storm of passions

    Melancholy and sadness are my steady companions
    From which I can never separate myself
    And all my blooming flowers wither and fade away
    As soon as I weep for my long-lost innocence

    Betrayed by my own delusions
    I forget myself and I’m left bewildered
    Intoxicated with the poison of my own desires
    Lost in the turmoil of my madness and decadence.
    Elisabetta

  • A Storm Of Sadness

    A Storm Of Sadness

    A storm of sadness and anguish is striking me with all its might
    And I cannot possibly escape it
    The sun is shining brightly
    But my heart is as dark as the night.

    Hence, I wait for the night to come to rejoice in its feast
    Fearless are my desires,
    And shameless are my fantasies
    I find delight in crying because I can let my fears manifest freely

    I’m odd and unusual
    I cannot fit into any description or catalogue
    I live of dreams and wonders
    I breathe decadence and melancholy
    After all, I am the embodiment of tragedy and blight

    The storm of sadness comes back every day of my life
    It is a familiar shadow at my doorstep, and I embrace it
    I drink the poison of my hallucinations like the sweet nectar of the abyss
    A luscious decay draped in perfumes of bygone eternities

    The wind wails my dismay through hollow halls
    In chambers long abandoned the ever-faithful night is my sacred dwelling
    Little daggers of despair pierce my heart, don’t let it rest even for an instant
    My sensibility is a cherry tree in full bloom under the storm of dreadful occurrences

    I dwell within my hallucinations, lost in a world of beautiful delusion
    Every dream carries me to faraway realms, where reality dares not follow
    I love to indulge in my wild fantasies and my delirium is a paroxysm of lust
    In my kingdom whose sky is made of red and purple clouds, everything is possible and limitless

    Nevertheless, the storm of sadness never left my dreams
    Always looking for me as a creature of its belongings
    Dressing me with an exquisite gown made of tears and sorrow
    Chaining me to a dungeon of dark madness and loneliness
    From which I am bound, unable to escape for all eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • My Obscure Sides

    My Obscure Sides

    My obscure sides are so numerous that they cannot be contained by the vastness of the ocean. If someone sought to know them, I would say that I am only made of darkness, for no light remains within me.

    Beneath a cloudy night sky deprived of stars, I wander in my loneliness without any moonlight shining over me. Embracing my fears, uncautiously I explore all my darkest secrets.

    Bold and reckless I explore the most hidden recesses of beauty and mystery. I love to dance alone in the coldest winter nights under the cloudy sky. I love to be mad and foolish and never care about the consequences.

    I’m a courtesan and a poet, embracing my most feral self. I often forget my name and I don’t fit in any box of comfort and conventions. I’m free like a butterfly flying from one flower to another one.

    I adore being stroked by the frost wind and pierced by thunders of passions, feeling the poundage of my incubi on my body during my respite.

    My obscure sides hide quietly in the shadows of my heart. I’m bound forever to darkness and sorrow. Indeed, I’m dressed in an exquisite gown made of grief and tears.

    I love to indulge in my decadence and I love to lie languidly on a bed of flowers contaminated by the dust of decay. Broken like a shattered crystal gem I dwell in absolute silence, inside my dark chamber made of anguish.

    I love to fantasize and live in my absurd dreams. I’m a living paradox and an oddity outside the ordered realm of standard society made of entities who are already lifeless.

    Embracing the chaos within myself, I sink into the abyss of darkness, wrapped in a cloak of sorrows and illusions. Chained by invisible bonds, I get lost in the labyrinth of my imagination.
    Elisabetta

  • The Yellow Rose

    The Yellow Rose

    The yellow rose is my beloved flower
    She watches over me like a star in a dream
    She is always there for me, listening to me
    I love my yellow rose, and she loves me

    In my loneliness, I shun every human shape
    My only refuges are poetry, literature, art and flowers
    I am so overwhelmed by life that I cannot comprehend the sense of my fate
    And so, I abandon myself to decadence and beauty

    Daydreaming is one of my favourite solaces
    I can fly whenever I wish with my imagination
    Avoiding facing a reality and a society I don’t understand
    Feeling always different from others
    I cannot avoid to fall into the valley of despair

    My yellow rose watches over me like a guardian angel
    She is actually my angel, and I protects me from nightmares
    In my secret and hidden garden made of secrets and enigmas
    Where I can lose control of my emotions and be myself

    Panic spasms shake me in my slumber, surrounded by the darkest darkness
    And I can barely breathe, feeling invisible chains around my neck
    And a poundage on my body like an enormous demon of the night
    A ghoul that afflicts my heart with its sharp spear

    The sound of the night birds awakes me in my bed
    And I don’t see anymore my yellow rose that was just an illusion
    A beautiful delusional vision of my subconscious
    I’m all alone again and nothing can protect me anymore

    All my life has been a majestic nightmare
    A nightmare made of violence and survival
    An agony made of horror and demise
    Where there was no place for dreams and hopes
    
    Being voiceless and invisible has been always my reality
    In an existence where I never wanted to be alive
    Being but a doll, half alive and half dead
    A manipulated and deceived doll

    The yellow was my deliverance and the only companion I had
    But she never existed, for she was the fruit of my illusions
    She was the shining star I had always dreamed of
    And forgetting about this life
    I continue to dream because I’m only made of dreams and stars.
    Elisabetta

  • The Portal To Emptiness

    The Portal To Emptiness

    The portal to emptiness was waiting for me
    In hesitation and doubt, I didn’t feel any comfort
    I didn’t trust what I was seeing or hearing
    All I could be assured of was a feeling of uncertainty

    It was as if I was living one of my several lives
    Foolishly embracing my madness with such joy
    Even the wind was terrified by me in its impetuosity
    Being myself, a little tornado of intense emotions

    Left by myself in my extreme solitude
    I sought refuge from my overwhelming grief
    Grief towering over me like a monumental demon
    Making me an insolent creature of the night

    Chasing darkness, I have finally found myself deep
    On the ocean floor of my imagination
    In my realm of wonders and chimeras
    I desired to find my utopic idyll

    My dreams touched me night and day
    All over my body like soft strokes
    Fantasies pierced my heart making it bleed
    With their sweet and sharp daggers

    I became a crimson rose, with all my petals tainted by blood
    And pointed thorns as powerful as diamond gems
    Although I was crying for my freedom from my roots and cold soil
    I had to surrender to my slavery

    And I could only dream over and over again without hope
    I cried and sobbed like a winter storm
    And I felt needles stabbing all my petals
    Arrows of anguish and awareness of my impending decay

    Nothing anymore could have released me from my huge distress and dismay
    I was merely a red rose and nothing more
    One of the several red roses of an ordinary city garden
    Nothing anymore could have been important to me

    The portal to emptiness was in front of me
    And now, I was made of dust and decay
    Decadence was my name and like a butterfly pinned on a wall
    I remained still as a crystal rose standing on a barren earth.
    Elisabetta

  • Desolation In The Midst Of The Night

    Desolation In The Midst Of The Night

    Desolation in the midst of the night awakens me
    Leaving in a gorge of anguish and decadence
    Melancholy and sadness are my favourite cronies
    Guiding me through the labyrinth of foolishness

    Dreams and delusions entwine under the dim light of the night sky
    Where the stars hide behind a forest the clouds
    Waiting for a storm to arrive
    While I keep disguising myself in a garden of glowing flowers

    The freezing wild wind shakes me
    Until I lose control of my heart flying away from me
    Getting exhausted from my endless wandering
    I stop searching for a direction and I fall into an eternal slumber

    The realm of dreams and impossibilities is my kingdom
    Where I can be myself without explanations
    Where I can fly from one flower to another one
    Unconcerned about time and fleeting realities

    Becoming a fairy in a magic garden nothing can touch me
    And I sing all the most beautiful melodies together with birds and butterflies
    The glowing flowers are my home

    Poetry lyrics become my only way to express myself
    A sweet decadence and a gothic scent cast a spell over me
    And I sing all my secret poems to the stars that watch over me
    And the horizon becomes clear with dim lights and glowing colours

    Desolation in the midst of the night became my portal to another world
    A world of beauty, fantasy and wonders
    Where all dreams are a reality and no illusion is possible
    Because everything is possible in my dreams even touching the stars

    In my cotton candy world, I can fly high until I touch the clouds and let a blizzard carry me far away
    While the wind strokes my hair, revealing the secrets of the stars
    My castle is in a labyrinth of velvet darkness and silver mist
    where fragments of long-forgotten dreams waltz with the midnight muses
    In an eternal embrace of night and day.
    Elisabetta

  • Sweet Decadence

    Sweet Decadence

    Sweet decadence of instants already vanished
    In the void of my loneliness, I found affliction
    And dust of decay fell over me like an incessant rain
    Whilst I wandered alone in the cold nighttime

    Suddenly, I saw my fears, and anguish gripped me
    Making me captive in its dark dungeon
    Where a sweet decadence waited for me to swallow my soul
    And shattering my heart in infinite fragments of love and pain

    Hence, I sighed, waiting for fate to destroy my dreams and expectations
    A moment of death and transformation
    Like a nocturnal moth morphing into an everlasting flame
    Surrounded by the merciless void of indifference and unbending decree

    The magic touch of the stars stroked my hair
    While I got lost in the labyrinth of my dreams
    Dreams that appeared as nightmares
    Undisclosed secrets of all the forbidden lives I lived

    Drowning in the deep and dark ocean
    Where I kept my fragile and stormy mysteries
    Arcane truths hid underneath my soul
    The sources of my fantasmagorical realm of fantasies

    Sweet decadence became my languid alcove
    My secret world to which I always belonged
    And I will always belong
    My treasure chest was full of dust of decay and anguish

    All the fruits of betrayal poisoned my essence
    Tainting my heart with their ink of blood and darkness
    Subtly whispering lovely words of love and exquisite sweetness
    Entangling me with its chains of silk and gold

    In the garden of my forbidden desires and passions
    Enticed by their spells and mesmerised by the lush of their scent
    I fell into a perpetual slumber, and the death of my wisdom and sanity occurred suddenly
    It was a consequence of the venomous thorns of nocturnal roses

    I closed my eyes to look inside my dreams of sweet decadence and decay
    I segregated myself from the world
    I created my own secret world made of magnificence and beauty
    A realm belonging only and only to me
    My kingdom and heavenly refuge of joy.
    Elisabetta

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