Exhausted In A Cold Winter Night
Exhausted on a cold winter night
The silence of the darkness is frozen like the sensibility of this society
My comfort is in nature and art
My books and poetry are my secret hideout
Wandering around the wild obscurity of my imaginary forest
I can travel far away every time I wish
In my imagination, I promenade in magic gardens
Where there are colourful and delightful flowers
And the silver moonlight is reflecting in the lakes
Wandering farther, I discover hidden woods and marvellous castles
The beauty of those landscapes are breathtaking
And I can stroll as far as I wish
I will be pleased to get lost
And I will discover new secret places
Where I can hide and be totally transparent
Where I am totally invisible like plankton
I don’t have to pretend to be someone else
I don’t have to please anyone to get consent and admiration
I can be myself and free
No abuses
No brutalities
No discriminations
No fears
None of them will be in this very secret place
And I can laugh and cry, paint and write
The insanity of rationality can ruin every kind of spontaneity and beauty
Every sigh is the breathing of my mind
Every teardrop is the ardour of my heart
My naive emotions can finally galvanise me
They can call me insane, candid or eccentric
I will stop caring about it
I will stop accepting the humiliations and abuses with gratitude
And I will stand up for myself fiercely.
Esther Racah