Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: numbness

  • Shadows Over Me

    Shadows Over Me

    Shadows over me constantly
    Hunting me like terrifying ghouls
    Frightening me to the bones
    With their obsession

    I decided to abandon myself to the sense of defeat
    A defeat due to my cruel fate of being invisible and negligible
    Like a little sparkle of light destined to its descent into the abyss of darkness
    And so, that was me

    I wish extraordinary phantasmagorias would visit me in my dreams
    But even that was impossible
    So much was the misery of my realm of existence
    Being a negligible creature destined to the cold wind of indifference

    Even the possibility of falling in love with a chimaera and an illusion of mine was a failure
    Destined to ominous omens
    While the rays of the pale moonlight stroke my hair
    I descended again into an eternal and deadly slumber

    I couldn’t see anything but a total obscurity
    I couldn’t hear but an absolute silence
    Dim and dreadful shadows descended over me
    And I couldn’t react or move in this ocean of emptiness

    Defeated again and again by a sense of tragic frailty
    I became a shadow myself
    A shadow bound to a world of lies and deception
    With the inability to flee away
    Being hushed up in an abyss of oblivion

    Being forsaken and abandoned to loneliness
    I only found comfort in the numbness and lack of emotions
    After striving to scream
    I faded away like invisible stardust

    Shadows over me grasped my heart to tear it apart
    Feeling a fractured crystal in the inside
    I couldn’t feel any pang or fear because I was myself anguish and dread
    I became a ghost lingering in the world of death and darkness

    Ethereal as I was, I wandered like a frightful spirit of the night
    Chasing every spark of light I could seize, in vain
    For I was doomed to the realm of darkness and oblivion.
    Elisabetta

  • The Chains Of The Past

    The Chains Of The Past

    The chains of the past captivated me
    Placing me down on the cold soil of the garden of tears
    A place where no hope or wish was granted
    A dungeon of anguish and dismay that became my eternal realm

    An initiation ritual pierced my heart and made it bleed
    My blood nourished the flowers of betrayal and deception
    until they drained me of all strength
    Leaving me fainting on the cold soil among thorns and sharp stones

    Suddenly I felt that all my fears left my heart
    And I became the representation of numbness and apathy
    My body was as bloodless as an inanimate pebble
    Silent like a grave and dark as the night

    My soul parted whispering a farewell
    My heart was pale as ashes
    Every spark of curiosity and liveliness faded away
    Leaving me entombed in a deep slumber from which I would never awaken

    The chains of the past were a noose around my neck
    Drops of poison were falling on my face from the fountain of oblivion
    Longings and regrets entwined a chain of tears and blood around my heart
    A stupor was in my mind and weakness overwhelmed me

    My memories from the past became my hunting nightmares
    I couldn’t escape from them and hence I was lying helpless in the cold soil of the garden of death
    All I could hear were soft sighs and cries of despair
    Underneath the immense darkness of the night sky

    A curtain of haze blurred my blank gaze
    As the wind wove moans into shadows
    No dawn would ever find my eternal dusk
    No voice would unsettle my spectral silence

    Unable to find my way out of misery and sorrow
    I descended into the deepest abyss of darkness
    Becoming an unknown wraith in this garden of death
    Where even time had turned to dust
    And then only echoes of forsaken laments remained.
    Elisabetta

  • The Hollow Silence

    The Hollow Silence

    The hollow silence gripped the night,
    Beneath the weight of silent skies,
    Where stars once whispered dreams of light,
    But faded away as desires had died.

    The wind of life, a fleeting spark,
    Danced through the trees, then quickly waned—
    Moments dissolved into the dark,
    Lost to the hollow silence’ gloom.

    Time marched on, indifferent still,
    A tireless thief, unseen, unkind,
    Stripping bare the fragile will
    Of those who sought but could not find.

    The hollow silence swelled and grew,
    A wave that drowned all sound, all sense—
    The world spun on, yet no one knew,
    Trapped in its vast indifference.

    No light to guide, no ardour to grant,
    The weight of days, too vast to bear—
    For in that void, all breathed, all lived,
    Nonetheless, it only grasped at hollow air.

    With each effort made, an echoed sigh,
    A sunken sound, a ghostly tread,
    Chasing stars that blurred and died,
    In skies where all the dreams had fled.

    The sun did rise, the moon did fall,
    But neither heeded mortal cries—
    Existence, vast, untouched by all,
    Turned a blind, unfeeling eye.

    The hollow silence claimed its prize,
    Wrapped every thought in numbing frost—
    For in the end, beneath those skies,
    Reckoning all that was treasured and lost.

    And finally, a longing, despite the void,
    For meaning woven in the haze,
    Seeking truths that fate destroyed,
    In endless nights and hollow days.

    A hollow silence called so near,
    Its cold embrace, a final snare—
    The search for answers, year by year,
    Yet only shadows lingered there.

    Still wandering, lost and small,
    Through labyrinths of endless nights—
    Hoping, though fearing the fall,
    That something waited beyond sight.

    But time, relentless in its flight,
    Left all dreams to fade away—
    The distant resonances of the night,
    A silent plea that none could sway.

    Reaching for more eventually only found,
    The hollow silence, all around,
    Burying all without a sound.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Twisted Obsessions

    Twisted Obsessions

    Twisted obsessions of failed dreams,
    In the darkened corners of the subconscious,
    Where shadows unleashed dreams unwound,
    A world of obsessions, all alone.

    Whispers echoed through the sordid obscurity,
    Drawing wraiths to forbidden lights,
    A touch, a sigh, a fleeting glance,
    Lost in the thrall of a reckless trance.

    Desires stolen and broken, out of reach,
    Longings hidden, cruel and true,
    Yearning for those invisible chimaeras the day denied,
    In silent, shamed, and sleazy cries.

    Souls that sought what they should shun,
    Minds that ached for the undone,
    In a labyrinth of illusions and betrayal,
    Obsessions took their hidden refuge.

    A tangled web of despair and loss,
    A dungeon where dark passions bred,
    Haunted in a ghostly daze,
    Lost forever in a damning swirl.

    A gloom and spark remained amidst the chains of dissolution,
    On the deepest night, twisted obsessions ensnared all the dreamers,
    In an abyss of despair and fear with no turning points,
    Even if hope was not a lost cause.

    Twisted obsessions of gloomy fates were the cruel rulers of chaotic existences,
    Once again, they were reborn each nighttime,
    Under the influence of an uncertain order of arcane forces.

    Numbness and slumber remained faithful companions of painful reveries,
    Whenever the desire for despair and sorrow trapped every delight,
    In the midst of the chaos and unknown,
    A game of subjugation and delirium.

    Twisted obsessions and sad insanities,
    Danced on the edges of broken hearts,
    Feeding on the remnants of the soundness of mind,
    Spinning tales of endless binds.

    Sighs of broken promises were released,
    Only to fall into the most profound distress of the night,
    Where shadows became the only lonely and friendly essences,
    And the sun’s happiness was out of sight.

    In such a realm, where reality was fractured,
    Dreams and fears became a forest of drear,
    A fictitious masquerade of hopes defiled,
    By the weight of twisted time.

    Indeed, in the heart of this desolation,
    Every gleam of delight faded away,
    Souls were swallowed by the dark embrace,
    And lost dreams continued to fray.

    Twisted obsessions, relentless and cold,
    Fractured every delight into a shattered mould,
    Leaving behind a void where hope had once dwelled.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Without Laudable Expectations

    Without Laudable Expectations

    Without Laudable Expectations

    Without laudable expectations
    When bliss overcomes a temporary melancholy
    In a disillusioned numbness of the soul
    No dream can endure so long time
    And everything becomes ephemeral
    Every single expectation is kept in a sacred shed
    Once all the dreams are swallowed by oblivion
    Hollow trees of humiliation stand in front of the ineptitude
    Shallowness wandering towards inertia and madness
    After the senses have fallen into a deep slumber of unconsciousness
    Only dreary expectancies would touch the sadness for just an instant
    An instant of sacred anguish that would eternalize every trembling passion
    And when the darkness pierces every realm
    Every disgrace becomes a blissful solace.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Odyssey Into Folly

    An Odyssey Into Folly

    An Odyssey Into Folly

    An odyssey into folly amid the desert of wit and wisdom
    Where the strong blasts of numbness suddenly become hypothetical ideas
    An eternal journey into inanity with endless throwbacks to amnesia and regret
    When patience bursts into flames, emotions swirl in the dizziness of the senses
    Passivity and introspection stand in a motionless gush of hidden secrets
    An abstraction of solitons’ senses drowns into unconsciousness
    The overwhelming enclosure of dreams’ fatalities sinks into abhorrent brutality of shallowness
    A dim glow of a deceitful doozy hides an overshaded kingdom of folly and phlegm.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

© Esther Racah 2025. All rights reserved.