Powerless And Invisible
Powerless and invisible like a phantom
I find myself amid a vast crowd
No one can hear my despair which is trapped inside myself
No one can know about the abuses I have suffered
The echo of a dream can reach out only to sensitive souls
My mind is blank, and my soul is crimson
Like crimson roses, which are crushed to dust
Whose crying will never be heard
To be invisible is like to not exist
But I can always choose to whimper and speak out loud
And maybe the numbness of my soul can touch other souls
Chimaeras and dreams float freely in a phantasmagoric world
I drown in an ocean of unconsciousness
And the blindness of the heart open the eyes of my inner thoughts
The mind waits for an unreasonable idea to spark like a flame
In this abyss of senses, I can only find myself in my dreams
And discover my inner and authentic reasons to stay alive and bear this burden of life
As I close my eyes, I can see the immensity of the universe, which swallows me
And I disappear in the abyss of the darkness
When the moon shines, I’m afraid to reveal myself
Since I am used to keeping secrets and hiding my own shadow
Because hiding is like holding the breath
I pretend to express all my restlessness in silence
All I can do is live underneath the conventions
Trying to conceal my identity and inner soul
My essence is a mystery that I don’t want to reveal so easily
I am invisible to anyone who is not sensitive to my hidden world
Where the secrets of my soul can find refuge
I will hide my shadow and live in a silent and obscure reality
Fears and anguishes will not find me anymore
Now that I can lay under the gleaming stars.
Esther Racah