Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: self-expression

  • Crying To Death

    Crying To Death

    Crying to death until I lose all my fears
    Crying to death until my heart bleeds the last drop of grief
    I don’t remember my name anymore
    I come from a faraway realm where dreams are forbidden
    I wander astray in the labyrinth of my bleeding heart

    Not anymore comforted by solace and delight
    I strive to find refuge in my secret realm of illusions
    Because I love to lie to myself with shameless boldness
    Because I love to fill my heart with deception

    I’m untamed and wild, and I don’t bow to any convention
    It’s impossible to fit my soul inside a box of comfort
    Too many thoughts crowd my mind
    Too many emotions crowd my heart
    I’m a paroxysm, a burst of madness wrapped in the quietness of my sorrow

    I love to wear exclusively beautiful vintage-style dresses and ballerinas
    I love to wear red lipstick and red nail polish
    I never cut my long blond hair because they keep my little secrets for years discretely
    I love books but sometimes I keep them closed as if I would like to guess what is going to happen next in the story

    I mainly write night and day and I cannot see myself not writing even a day
    That would be like asking me not to breathe
    I suffer in silence when I am home alone so nobody can discover it
    I never plan what I’m going to write because I believe in improvisation in poetry
    I love cloudy skies but not the rain because it makes me feel miserable

    I love to be in love but I also love to be loved and adored
    Solitude and books are my best companions, indeed the only ones
    I adore art in all its forms, music, literature and art
    Sometimes I prefer to write in a direct way and simple style without labyrinths of metaphors

    Crying to death is a way to express myself when I’m suffering unbearably
    And when I don’t feel understood and seen by the other creatures of this planet or when memories come to visit me
    After all, we suffer mainly because of indifference or tainted interactions with other entities or because of something we don’t want to remember

    I feel like an alien creature not belonging to standard society and as an introvert it’s very difficult being part of this messed ocean where I never felt comfortable. So bizarre and odd I’m in the other’s sight that I cannot blend with them.
    Therefore, I dwell in my loneliness where I have built my castle of dreams.
    Elisabetta

  • Blooming Desires

    Blooming Desires

    Blooming desires blossom everywhere around me
    The stars in the sky above me are shining brightly
    My pure heart undiscloses all the secrets and beauty
    Blissful passions burn my heart like glowing torches

    I became a flower in my own garden of fantasies
    I rule my own realm of dreams and utopias
    And a sweet melody cast the spell over me
    Like a hypnotizing hymn of joy and delight

    I feel no poundage of fear and anguish anymore
    I fly free like a wild bird of paradise
    Touching the clouds and stars with my colourful wings
    I say goodbye to the old version of myself broken and deceived

    I smile and cry at the same time
    Repeating all the verses of my poetry to walls and trees
    Declaring my love for the sublime and beauty
    Promising to never break again my sacred oath of loyalty to the art of poetry

    I try to reach out to my inner blooming desires
    Quietly embracing my true self for the very first time
    Although it seems like I have lost my resilience
    I find refuge in my fairytale world where I’m a forever princess

    I never let social norms and prejudices shape my life or my essence
    I stand up for my liberty and independence in thinking and living
    Because life is just a short and crazy journey in this odd universe
    Where the absurdities are countless but still oddly enlightening

    I decided to embrace my inner turmoil and chaos
    To become a fantastic oddity rejecting every conformity
    Even though oftentimes it makes me fall into oblivion
    My blooming desires guide me along my path of madness and decay

    I’m a whimsical creature of my own dreams
    I’m a surreal and mystical fairy flying around her bizarre flowers
    Lost in the labyrinth of my absurd imagination
    Where reality ceases to exist and fantasy is the only truth I hold dear inside my heart
    And I dance to the rhythm of my blooming desires and untamed spirit.
    Elisabetta

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