Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: dark

  • The Agony Of Uncertainty

    The Agony Of Uncertainty

    The agony of uncertainty is my dwelling
    It was all I had written on a mirror
    A long sequence of characters
    Which I used to write
    And nothing further
    Forever and never
    I have been lost
    Striving to remember my name and my story
    Since I was born with a great devotion to art
    Such joy should be life
    Once everything has been forgotten with time

    The agony of uncertainty is a tree in the sea
    Where it is possible to be merry
    A moment has come to bear a perceived memory
    Like dreams repeatedly created and destroyed
    Each season and new year
    The time is past and never hides
    Torments are shortened by days and nights
    To avoid suffering and distress
    I might become pleased as I would pretend
    My past life never existed
    Becoming something imaginary

    The agony of uncertainty is a dark forest
    Where the wounds never disappear
    Only memories can unfold
    Looking onward and writing my dreams
    And all those unconcealed secrets
    That the soul keeps as the deepest memories
    The nightmares of the heart are lost in the dark
    The fate of dark stars is entwined in indifference
    The gloom of endless thoughts of sorrow
    Lost forever in a silent emptiness
    Which never dies

    The agony of uncertainty and pain
    Thereupon I move forward through the long desert of death
    Reaching more intention and joy
    My thoughts are made of fears
    Bleeding each time, I became wiser
    No hope was found in the devotion of love
    Instants of lust in the deepest silence
    Fretting about the decay of every bliss
    Dread should last forever in death
    When everything is lost
    The truth is the door of a new consciousness

    The agony of uncertainty and delight
    Always shining in an infinite reality
    My heart is truly sacred
    Beyond deception and mendacity
    Seeking the truth as an insight
    When no choice is granted
    The tears, like fright, lit the earth
    The grief within my soul is still alive
    I should not always be afraid
    Gifted with patience to keep
    My soul is bound to be naive.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Gloomy Skies

    Gloomy Skies

    Gloomy skies and oceans of white
    I could never hear my dreams
    Still so lonely but not always alive
    My memories must be everywhere
    For the rain came upon me
    And all night was gone
    I was lost and now moved
    No hope on earth
    On my path, too many forms of dreams appeared
    As the most divine knowledge

    Gloomy skies were phoney and shady
    The sun was hot and grey
    With its silver hues that fly high
    I could not hear my voice all around me, like in a memory
    A thoughtful life’s beauty should now come
    Gone forever as life departs
    The sky was long and sad
    Winter morning dew and clouds
    Massive waves for a new day
    Specks of snow were all around

    Gloomy skies have fallen apart
    Clouds bloomed to ascend
    The wind left behind one of the branches of a hollow tree
    My heart kept moving fast with no sweet delight
    A small flower was pierced by a pale morning
    A shade came in haste
    I could see the dimness of the day
    My dread had disappeared like an ordinary river
    Falling into the clouds, I was gone
    And there was no time to be silent in the shadow

    Gloomy skies were hidden behind a blaze
    Tears became sweet like myrtle
    A dark and dreary day has trapped me
    The clouds were so thick and heavy
    It felt like they were suffocating the world below
    I couldn’t help but feel a sense of sorrow
    Everything looked dull and lifeless
    As the world had been drained of all its colour
    The rain continued to fall, and the clouds slowly began to break apart
    I felt a sense of longing and a shrug of resignation

    Gloomy skies falling like raindrops
    The rain made everything glisten and sparkle
    The sound of the drops smashed the soil
    And everything seemed to slow down
    Despite the darkness and the sadness
    I took a moment to pause and reflect, to gather my strengths for brighter days ahead
    The gloomy skies reminded me that even in the darkest of times
    There is always a glimmer of light waiting to shine through a forgotten dream
    The very memories run when not everything has become a fair and loving thought
    And the fear of happiness remains as some divine benefit flies away.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Dark Nightmares

    Dark Nightmares

    Dark nightmares of morning glow
    They were rising like a gentle breeze
    Like heavy clouds begun to wander
    Across the infinite horizon of my sight
    The pleasant summer nights faded from my memories
    Till the moon came gently down and my eyes gazed a far candle
    In a dark chamber of grey stones
    Remembering the sunny weather of the past years
    I never ceased to build my castle
    Writing down broken notes

    Dark nightmares
    As all the visions from a distant past are gone
    And now my nightmares are glued with pains
    When memories become dark, the whole world disappears
    Cold dreams are like the frosty winter wind
    In time I must flee, and my voice becomes true
    As long as I’m alive and anguish pricks my heart
    I live in a dim silence
    A lotus grazes my imagination
    Still lost within myself

    Dark nightmares of my senses’ slumber
    The long loneliness of my heart
    Moments lost in the world
    Like shadows of a dream
    Not a breath in my own mind
    Thoughts belonging to the labyrinth of my soul
    Far in the mist
    Lying deep inside of myself
    My wishes do bother me
    Every time I glimpse the pain in my heart

    Dark nightmares drag me to the infinite abyss of despair
    So dismal and cold is my soul that it became dead
    I’ve grown so restless in sorrow
    While nothing in my life occurs but silent dreams
    The sky is only a cold essence
    And I am forever lonely
    I walked through the darkness with a blue wind hitting me
    Like tiny daggers slashing my skin
    When a hasty storm broke the clouds into dust
    Hushed by a mournful silence, I embraced my everlasting grief.

    Dark nightmares and illusions
    They came and shed darkness
    While each memory bent my emotions
    A swarthy shudder whispered unrevealed secrets
    A sea of fire emerged at the sound of my tears
    Madness and dismay became my consolation and comfort
    Fleeing from an insane lodging
    In a fleeting moment where fragments of my soul were scattered in the cold gusts of indifference
    Buying busy weeping my broken dreams
    When the shadows of the clouds cast a spell on me.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • The Land Of Dreams

    The Land Of Dreams

    The land of dreams has no soul
    I am a dream maker
    Not human anymore
    But I live in my truth
    It is a paradise which has always been created
    Never well known so much
    My past was just a lie
    So many times and ways I lived
    Always seeking a place of happiness
    When I find out a world
    I am always striving to live in perfect stillness

    The land of dreams was not filled with darkness
    It is the world beyond and everywhere
    Where nothing is lost in memory
    And the ocean runs over where only truth can be found
    So many secrets which cannot be seen
    In existence, everything is lost in sight
    With the rain to stay like my own birth
    Looking for the beauty in my heart
    Life is not always fabulous and simple
    A unique gift and a loving treasure
    My desires and shadows endure
    With a glance at the dark

    The land of dreams has no name
    Under the misty sky, the wind blows through darkness and fear
    And my dreams never shall now be seen
    Sometimes there is a meaning in the senses
    There is a life beyond destiny
    The stars are out of the shade
    The remembrance I’ve met in the far past
    Too much has been forgotten forever
    I was not somewhere, and the future appeared somehow
    Wisdom is often seen by time or sight
    The world of misery is in its own value
    The soul needs no choice

    The land of dreams is an echo I saw
    And it is already gone and lost
    Empty darkness, I shall become
    Alone in the most sincere silence
    Only the shadows are clear and warm
    So far, long ago, my longings have ceased
    Releasing the past and rejoicing in the storm’s dusk
    Tears without pain
    In happiness and hope
    I rely on my excellent intuitions
    No longer a bliss among my delusions
    Though my soul is uncorrupted in every way.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Soft Torments

    Soft Torments

    Soft torments from a poison cup
    Like a dream
    I hold my hopes in vain
    My life is in ache with joys and time
    Far away
    It would not be so late
    To light my pleasure at the silent sight
    Before the storm comes
    I may know that life has faded away
    Because I have lost myself
    And still, it’s not fair

    Soft torments of past mistakes
    A burden that I must pay
    Life was past and dead
    It’s time to learn a new world
    Lost time to defeat
    The dust touched my heart
    And memories could save my mind
    To feel just the dreams of the ocean
    Into my inner space
    A soul could be lost on earth
    Cold like dust and dark like rain

    Soft torments of time
    Building my fantasies made of paper and darkness
    The waves of rainfall cannot feel alone in the blue
    In a beautiful state of deprivation
    Stars are full of fears
    As anguish is forever gone
    In the immensity of the dusk
    The cold light of my life has come to wait
    No pleasure was a wonder to behold
    Falling to weep
    When the heart is full of grief

    Soft torments I had achieved in vain
    Silver clouds still glowing in the sunlight
    A remorseless sight of betrayal in the fragrance of the summer
    The melody that stirs death in nature
    Under the light of flashes dropping in the darkness
    In this sky, my soul cannot be filled with a gleam
    An eternal poem about life
    When the gloominess of every thought perishes in new longings
    Whispering words of pain move through my mind
    Sometimes it’s amusing what wisdom can reveal in the empty obscurity
    Once everything disappears from my glimpse
    Drops of flame lure my heart
    Forever and ever.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Gloomy Sorrow

    A Gloomy Sorrow

    A gloomy sorrow
    A gentle grief
    In a world made of pride
    The soul will never win
    It seems as if no one can be able to love and dreams
    Patience and happiness are rare gifts to be obtained with pain
    When only desire can find peace
    I used to learn my true emotions of mine
    The wisdom becomes a bliss
    Truth is hidden everywhere
    Everything on earth comes to an end

    A gloomy sorrow sweet for all the hours
    At the sound of the darkness spinning around the night
    Few faint glistening hopes find their way through the abyss of dismay
    It would be a joy to love my heart
    But sorrow comes from a long time ago
    And yet, in life, a great beauty shines
    Time does arrive travelling with no destination
    My soul had forgotten words
    A little fear becomes mine
    And my soul is full of pain

    A gloomy sorrow of loneliness
    The soul is smiling during the day
    In vain, a million feelings were meant to die
    Whole memories belonging to me
    Happiness is born to die
    Tomorrow a great fate could last forever
    A treasure to be kept
    While the future loses its feelings
    Bliss would hide in a place beyond eternity
    Being confined and helpless
    Sobbing in a restless night

    A gloomy sorrow
    When the memories were never the same
    A dull despair and delight
    Life and death
    Far away from my mind and thoughts
    The light and shades of my soul shine
    When the eyes are dark and cold
    The flames of hope grow fast
    Every time I write, a little dream manifests
    Like a rose into the breath of the universe
    When they call my name, I strive

    A gloomy sorrow in the night
    Longing to be seen
    But a heavy cold sadness falls down
    A white sun of light is glowing
    And every ray of sunshine has blossomed from every side
    Just as soon as the clouds fly through the air
    The beauty of joy crosses the whole world
    Heavy thoughts have drifted into my soul
    The remembrance of a distant way I have travelled
    I feel a longing to comfort my thoughts
    I shall be loved by my anguish and wait no longer.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Shattered Mirror

    A Shattered Mirror

    A shattered mirror on the door
    I am not so happy
    As I’m afraid
    I know
    My life is in despair
    And I want to think
    Yet alone
    So many beautiful feelings
    The day does not fade in silence
    On the night that was coming
    So deep inside of me

    A shattered mirror
    All life’s dreams are lost
    A fantasy about sadness and rewards
    Forever thought
    The time has been lost and has vanished away
    Nothing may end
    starting another life
    Making a way out of happiness
    Grasping another thoughtless truth
    I can’t see how I feel

    A shattered mirror with no name
    I look towards the dreams
    When I was not there
    A stable cold summer breeze
    It seemed to shine as it gazed at my long chocolate-brown hair
    When the nights were senseless, I was covered in bliss
    And the clock was far and dark
    My hopes were nothing anymore
    Feelingless tears were gone inside of dreams
    A lonely and silent night with empty dreams
    Loud were my hallucinations, like multiple images of sorrow

    A shattered mirror flows through my dream line
    A picture is found again
    I cannot see my reflection
    Birds are silent as they can’t breath
    The breeze through the water runs away to some space
    Flying over life with no desires or pleasures
    The terror of thinking makes me gasp
    Now there was none
    Only a single cloud in the dim night
    The beauty of carved and gloomy trees
    I’ve never appeared to be forgotten

    A shattered mirror
    Like a ghost with a broken smile
    My questions have no experience
    A single cry sank into the silence
    Hoping for new visions of eternity
    I cannot see through my thoughts
    I’m lonely, and I dream
    Staring at my reflection in a broken mirror
    Looking for myself with no speech
    Striving to carry the wind
    making sure that I’m still existing.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • An Apathetic Wonder

    An Apathetic Wonder

    An apathetic wonder at the sight of all the future catastrophes
    A meaningful fear traps me and pulls me into the abyss of obscurity
    Ghosts and spectres are my eager companions
    Being in many places in one day
    Travelling time quickly in a preternatural form
    A glare of light and fire pretended to scare me
    Everything was a dream of a vision
    And suddenly, the present night appears
    No more complaints when the world would outcast

    An apathetic wonder like a golden morning candle
    For another cold scent of winter
    When the rain does not stop pouring on the streets
    In the heat
    And my blood is frozen like the winter snow
    The beautiful colours of stars become flowers
    All of a sudden
    A mystery which never existed has been the truth on earth
    Trying to forget distasteful memories

    An apathetic wonder of the sky
    Every time a desire becomes complex
    Every moment of happiness and sorrow
    It cannot happen again
    An opportunity for the mind
    Incurable wounds of the soul
    Nothing but excellent astonishments
    The water is everywhere, coming from the blue
    Creating a vast ocean of tears and sighs

    An apathetic wonder
    Being busy living within my soul
    Those ancient memories
    From every place of my mind
    Passing along with my own dreams
    The sky is pure and dark
    A lovely gloomy air
    Where I cannot perceive any colour or sound
    During an infinite journey in my subconscious

    An apathetic wonder in a light storm
    Winged like nothing else
    My words fly away
    Toward a remote invisible place
    Where every kind of bliss and pain was dwelling
    Once the sun was gone
    As a gilded sign of merriment
    And red roses were made of silver and gold
    My heart could not beat anymore in delight
    Because my dreams were open doors.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • Moping In Solitude

    Moping In Solitude

    Moping in solitude
    Loyalty and pleasure
    And a strange state of daze
    It was neither plain nor fair
    Yet as I sat alone
    A weary heart desiring to go
    So lost at last
    I’m alone in everything
    With dreams made of light
    Before the eternal death
    Suffering the time with faith
    Discovering absurdities and disappointment

    Moping in solitude,
    Every time I woke up
    And it would be a happy day
    I walk around and fancy
    It seems so little the pain I felt
    To think again about how people acted and thought
    The world is up to see an end
    And I’ll see where I am going
    The reason I have the capability to do so
    One moment, of course, would be enough
    Then know not even a day of desire
    All would be easy but disgrace

    Moping in solitude
    Not looking for any doubt
    I’d like something unrealistic and unreasonable
    I found another smile today from the night
    Now trying to feel overwhelmed by too many impressions
    Over and over again
    On a pleasant highway
    There was not even one reason to stay
    But the road has gone high,
    And, of course, loneliness
    Where love grew dark
    While seeing smirking faces

    Moping in solitude
    Such wonder that’s so fake and useless
    A decadent comfort
    If the end would come
    Because I always knew what was now
    I shouldn’t care
    But listening to the last image
    That would be very pretty
    And yet it really cannot be known
    Of what kind of things
    I must seem to reach out too far
    Beyond any limit and imagination.

    I might envision my defeat
    Loyal to my dreams
    And always lost in the maze of discomfort
    Always hated but never forgotten
    The disease of the ordinary doesn’t affect me
    I will never conform to others’ will.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

  • A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A Comfortless Dreary Sky

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A terrific and beautiful tempest
    Made of anguishes and broken dreams
    Once they belonged to the realm of quests and stupor
    But interrupted in the very moment of truth and beauty
    To become fragments of a whole nightmare
    In the abyss of ineptitude and betrayal
    I might question the night about my future
    It may come in fanfare sounds and sparkling obscurity
    Obscenity and banality don’t belong to my realm
    Maybe it is the case I change my windows in front of a sarcastic landscape
    Who could enquire what is real?
    So many fragile lies built under the shape of a high castle
    Not visible anymore
    Relying on the benefit of the doubt too many times
    I decided to move to another world
    Obsession for knowledge
    And the dominion of words and imaginary scenarios
    The obliteration of ignominious dreams in the darkness
    Dreaming is like breathing

    A comfortless dreary sky
    A misty veil of rain and storm
    A sublime ecstasy of a soothing slumber
    In an obscure realm of illusions and dismay
    Amidst a very midst of a dim sea
    The sun seems to glare through the gloomy clouds
    Cold darkness in existence with no thoughts or wisdom
    It abides only bliss beyond reality
    In a universe that is getting apart
    Whenever a dream reveals its mysteries from nothing
    The eternity of time is too far from the truth
    And brightness abides among the grey stars in the skies
    Greeting every emotion in vain
    My only place to be is with sorrows
    Which are no longer lies
    My heart became sweet as the snow
    My dark path conducts me to the loneliest room
    With gentle solitude and no comfort or rest
    Once the mystery of each star is disclosed
    A slight wind of fear will blow inside my soul.
    Esther Elizabeth Racah

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