Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: Gothic

  • In Desolation And Affliction

    In Desolation And Affliction

    In desolation and affliction, I was left viciously by my wicked fate
    Hopeless and deserted by all my dreams as if I were not worthy of bliss and ecstasy
    Delighted to let my senses abandon every type of wisdom
    I stopped to chase what couldn’t be mine forever
    Hence, all my crimson roses began to wither
    They become obsidian blossoms like the deepest night
    I could only sigh and weep surrounded by the skulls of my memories

    Ancient skulls and black roses all around me
    They became my guardian angels watching me closely
    They were the witnesses of my defeat and decline
    My virtues became my blemishes and I became a demon of myself
    I was a terrifying ghoul of the darkness, hunting dreams and love
    Nevertheless, I wouldn’t be able to catch dreams or love
    Being both of them out of reach for me who I was a simple creature of nightmares

    I even chased my own shadow in vain but I couldn’t find it
    Because I had no shadow and no soil
    My heart was filled with poison and decay
    There was no more space for love and delight
    The perpetual state of grief and misery transformed me into a spirit of dismay
    I embodied sorrow and every teardrop of mine was extinguished
    I had lost everything so dear to me
    I had lost everyone so loved by me
    I had lost myself in obsessions and wickedness

    I had to die several times in order to be born again and again
    How many times have I died?
    I never remembered it because each time my heart embraced death I lost my mind to an amnesia
    Thorns and brambles carved on my body arcane messages of wreckage and doom
    I have felt doomed all life long with no redemption or faded hope
    I was just a ghost of despair and nothing more
    In desolation and affliction, I’ve found my eternal respite and I surrendered to pursue all of my dreams and desires all at once.
    Elisabetta

  • A Crimson Night

    A Crimson Night

    A crimson night unveiled the arcane secrets of my darkness
    Faded and timid were my dreams beneath the silver moonlight
    Immersed in a mysterious garden of crimson roses
    I was searching for a sublime delight and solace that could alleviate my pangs

    The cold breeze whispered legends of ancient memories
    Dissolved in the void like magic smoke from an enchanted meadow
    And I was startled by the obliteration of time that ceased to exist
    Because I pretended to be in a utopian world
    A realm of darkness and beauty, made of bliss and anguish

    I wept with all my heart as my crimson roses were bleeding passionately
    Their enchanting scent became tainted by the dust of decay
    Every bliss dissolved into the ether of death, and the crimson night transfigured
    Soothing was the sound of the rain falling over each leaf of dead trees

    In the mournful stillness of that mystic night
    The fragments of all my desires lingered in the shadows of despair
    Each teardrop of mine was a haunting ghost of aborted dreams shattered to dust
    The void disclosed a concealed elegy within me

    Every wilted petal and every faded hue spoke of love and death entangled in ephemeral disgrace
    It was like I was wandering infinitely in a labyrinth of dusk and decay
    The spirit of loneliness traced a path for me to follow
    And I couldn’t seek solace in the bittersweet embrace of darkness and agony

    All the winter winds hauled my silent dirge
    I surrendered to the eternal enigma of magnificence and despair
    Every flame of the night was a fabled spark conducting me to my eternal doom
    Draining myself to death, I had lost the game of life.
    Elisabetta

  • A Storm Of Sadness

    A Storm Of Sadness

    A storm of sadness and anguish is striking me with all its might
    And I cannot possibly escape it
    The sun is shining brightly
    But my heart is as dark as the night.

    Hence, I wait for the night to come to rejoice in its feast
    Fearless are my desires,
    And shameless are my fantasies
    I find delight in crying because I can let my fears manifest freely

    I’m odd and unusual
    I cannot fit into any description or catalogue
    I live of dreams and wonders
    I breathe decadence and melancholy
    After all, I am the embodiment of tragedy and blight

    The storm of sadness comes back every day of my life
    It is a familiar shadow at my doorstep, and I embrace it
    I drink the poison of my hallucinations like the sweet nectar of the abyss
    A luscious decay draped in perfumes of bygone eternities

    The wind wails my dismay through hollow halls
    In chambers long abandoned the ever-faithful night is my sacred dwelling
    Little daggers of despair pierce my heart, don’t let it rest even for an instant
    My sensibility is a cherry tree in full bloom under the storm of dreadful occurrences

    I dwell within my hallucinations, lost in a world of beautiful delusion
    Every dream carries me to faraway realms, where reality dares not follow
    I love to indulge in my wild fantasies and my delirium is a paroxysm of lust
    In my kingdom whose sky is made of red and purple clouds, everything is possible and limitless

    Nevertheless, the storm of sadness never left my dreams
    Always looking for me as a creature of its belongings
    Dressing me with an exquisite gown made of tears and sorrow
    Chaining me to a dungeon of dark madness and loneliness
    From which I am bound, unable to escape for all eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • The Magnificent Abyss

    The Magnificent Abyss

    The magnificent abyss of infinite darkness
    Was my blissful place where I could embrace my inner chaos
    Given that I loved to embrace my own darkness and I always will
    While sorrow made me become a creature of the shadows

    Indeed, my soul sought the shadows of the night
    My heart was fed with nightmares and anguish
    Despair was my greatest comfort and companion
    Since I was an ethereal entity made of dust of decay

    No mirror could reflect my image
    So much infinite I was inside myself
    So many fragments were part of my heart
    I was an infinite multitude of beings in a world that never existed

    Sublime wonders blossomed around me
    Beneath the shining moon that accompanied the sun
    Everything was glimmering in all its splendour
    I was magic and so was the realm where I was living

    The moon and the sun were my devoted cohorts
    They guided me in my journey through darkness
    I became a creature made of light and shadow
    In the magnificent abyss of infinite bewilderment

    The endless night embraced me softly
    Because I was both darkness and sunshine
    Shining glitters of beauty fell all over me
    And I faded into the ominous void

    As glowing, fleeting stars vanished in the eternal night
    So did I disappear, only to reappear forevermore
    And I drifted through phantasmagorical realms
    Where every dream of mine became reality

    I became a whisper in the storm and an inextinguishable flame in the twilight
    The magnificent abyss was my dwelling
    Where chaos and quietness coexisted together

    In an endless dance of glare and dusk
    I discovered both my demise and my endless obsessions
    I became a foolish paradox and wild creature of the night
    A magic witch and ethereal fairy flying everywhere with beautiful wings made of stardust.
    Elisabetta

  • The Portal To Emptiness

    The Portal To Emptiness

    The portal to emptiness was waiting for me
    In hesitation and doubt, I didn’t feel any comfort
    I didn’t trust what I was seeing or hearing
    All I could be assured of was a feeling of uncertainty

    It was as if I was living one of my several lives
    Foolishly embracing my madness with such joy
    Even the wind was terrified by me in its impetuosity
    Being myself, a little tornado of intense emotions

    Left by myself in my extreme solitude
    I sought refuge from my overwhelming grief
    Grief towering over me like a monumental demon
    Making me an insolent creature of the night

    Chasing darkness, I have finally found myself deep
    On the ocean floor of my imagination
    In my realm of wonders and chimeras
    I desired to find my utopic idyll

    My dreams touched me night and day
    All over my body like soft strokes
    Fantasies pierced my heart making it bleed
    With their sweet and sharp daggers

    I became a crimson rose, with all my petals tainted by blood
    And pointed thorns as powerful as diamond gems
    Although I was crying for my freedom from my roots and cold soil
    I had to surrender to my slavery

    And I could only dream over and over again without hope
    I cried and sobbed like a winter storm
    And I felt needles stabbing all my petals
    Arrows of anguish and awareness of my impending decay

    Nothing anymore could have released me from my huge distress and dismay
    I was merely a red rose and nothing more
    One of the several red roses of an ordinary city garden
    Nothing anymore could have been important to me

    The portal to emptiness was in front of me
    And now, I was made of dust and decay
    Decadence was my name and like a butterfly pinned on a wall
    I remained still as a crystal rose standing on a barren earth.
    Elisabetta

  • The Gaze Of My Heart

    The Gaze Of My Heart

    The gaze of my heart follows passions
    Like a moth entranced by the moon’s wicked glow
    Hovering through the realms of fire and shadow
    Where longings bloom in silent anguish

    It ignores wisdom, and it doesn’t fear any abyss
    Drawn to forbidden dreams and extravagant art
    My heart gleams at the verge of madness
    And it sculpts sorrow into an artwork of dark

    Through secret passageways of velvet dusk
    Where dreams entwine with heartbreaking sighs
    The gaze of my heart will never falter
    Even when a desire bleeds and dies

    Striving to forget the bruises of love and devotion
    Still, my heart never ceases to beat
    Even amid the wildest storm of life
    It bleeds but rises from the ashes of sorrow

    My heart drifts through shadows, refusing to break
    Carrying the weight of memories yet still seeking passion
    Bound by the chains of the past, yearning only to fly
    My heart weeps beneath the moon, longing for release

    Nonetheless, the night holds me captive
    I became a prisoner of grief and anguish
    And each tear of mine is a dream lost in the cold and silent air
    As I seek consolation and solace that I cannot find

    I reach through the darkness, yearning to touch the stars
    But they gleam and vanish in the infinite sky
    While the night conceals its secrets, shrouded in despair
    Like the fleeting touch of a dream that never could become tangible

    A gelid breeze of illusions hits me
    Whispering me only cruel and fleeting promises
    Trying to chase them, I end up in the emptiness
    My endless pursuit is a vacant seizure

    My heart becomes a frail ship adrift in an ocean of delusions
    Trembling at each dark shadow towering over it like a giant wave
    I search for meaningful signs in the endless nights
    Although the stars don’t gleam anymore for me

    In this abyss of sorrow, I remain
    Finding no rest
    The gaze of my heart loses its sight
    And the echo of my distressed soul is suppressed for eternity.
    Elisabetta

  • My Heart Is Made Of Ink

    My Heart Is Made Of Ink

    My heart is made of ink and blood
    My heart is made of fantasy and dreams
    Surreal place of celestial beauty and stars
    An enigmatic and impenetrable domain

    A realm where thoughts are tangled in fragile webs
    And spectral creatures swirl beneath the silvery light of forsaken moons
    While silent winds carry tales from ancient fables
    Under a sky brushed with infinite hues

    In this realm, I am both adrift and entwined
    My heart is bound to the ink that flows through my veins
    My entire body is blooming like a flower of rhymes
    Where verses unfurl from my petals and thorns

    A world tempest of emotions surges in my heart
    Crumbling my essence into the dust of decay
    Carving elegies upon the hollow firmament
    Where no stars are allowed to shine

    The constellation of startling stars dissolves into the abyss of emptiness
    The obscure chasm that stretches in front of me
    Alluring me in its terrifying emptiness to swallow my soul
    While letters are dripping from my fingers like midnight raindrops

    I became part of the eternity of the abyssal night
    I am no longer bound by shapes or names,
    I dissolve into the void of eternity,
    Like a tiny snowflake lost in the stillness of oblivion

    My desires are fading into the marrow of the darkness
    Within the silence, mysterious secrets are engraved in the bones of dreadful shadows
    And unspoken ballads are waiting to be unconcealed
    An inextinguishable flame is burning and flickering within the core of twilight

    I am drowning in the deep abysm
    Although even in the most profound darkness, ink still flows like blood from my heart
    And my insolent utterances burn against the void
    A ghostly glimmer where stars once shone

    My heart is made of ink and darkness
    My heart is a requiem of dreams and sorrows
    A secret alcove veiled by the mist of silent elegies.
    Elisabetta

  • The Thorns Of Anguish

    The Thorns Of Anguish

    The thorns of anguish pierced my heart
    Making it bleed in dismay
    In a distressing struggle in my sleepless nights

    I wouldn’t feel any pleasure anymore
    In this short existence of mine
    And the only certitude remained was a frantic dream

    A foolish dream made of many other dreams
    A multitude of hallucinations
    Ready to make me feel a joyful fool

    I’m not of this world of homologated humans
    I’m made of dreams and illusions
    I’m not a human at all, being an ethereal creature of the night

    Hiding under the blankets of my bed
    I pretend to be the queen of my realm of ether and chaos
    Avoiding to accept reality and its social conventions

    I write because I feel there is no other way to express my inner world
    In trivial and merry moments of my life

    Oftentimes, I wouldn’t feel any pleasure anymore
    Nor sadness, nor dread, nor longings
    For I had become nothing more than a spirit

    I floated endlessly through the enchanted woods
    Among elves and fairies whispering me secrets
    While I was feeling blissful and bewildered at the same time

    The thorns of anguish pierced my heart again and again
    Until the last drop of blood would drip on the cold soil
    In my secret garden of dreams and nightmares

    In my arcane heaven, illusions bloomed alongside despair
    And I would have become an impalpable and gloomy shadow
    Incapable of feeling sorrow and mirth

    I had forgotten the hypocrisy of the disowned reality
    Because I was so much lost in my metaphysical realm
    An intricate labyrinth created by my own mind

    I became a phantom bound to an endless twilight
    I was a creature of eternal dusk
    Fading into the hush of the night mist

    The moon cast silver woes
    In my everlasting fantasy
    Forever dissolved in nothingness.
    Elisabetta

  • My Ancient Books

    My Ancient Books

    My ancient books follow me wherever I go
    Like loyal companions in my silent and solitary quest
    They fill my imagination with wonder and delight, surrounding me with their dust of decay

    Surprised, but their magic capability to transform my life into a phantasmagorical realm
    Where everything is possible, and every wish of mine is granted
    I often gaze at them at night, and they leave in me a feeling of awe

    My ancient books beckoned me into the realm of fantasy
    Where I could embrace my frenzy and whims
    And nonsense could have been the guiding force of my wisdom

    Their pages concealed ancient arcana about sorcerers and witches, ghosts and shadows
    Welcoming me into a world where time didn’t exist
    And becoming gateways to lost worlds of imagination

    Under the pale moonlight piercing the veil of darkness in my chamber
    I sank into a deep trance as though under the influence of a magic spell
    And it seemed that each letter was bleeding like veins of ebony ink

    My ancient books became secret crypts
    Keeping their obsessive mysteries and enigmatic wisdom
    While I couldn’t flee from their alluring and captivating magnetism

    I was not a reader anymore
    I became a character in their stories and a tiny phantom trapped in their realm
    And I got lost in the maze of knowledge and madness

    My name was carved on each page
    And it felt as if the characters of my ancient books were calling out to me
    While I was more confused than ever

    Forgotten by all
    There was no memory of myself in the night sky
    I fell into the abyss of ancient legends

    The fissures within my senses became blurry lines
    I walked through infinite halls of cursed tales
    As if there would never be tomorrow

    Every word was echoing in my mind at the rhythm of my own heart
    While every page overflowed with gloomy remembrances
    Beguiling me still further into places where time is nullified and hope is void

    The ghostly company of nightmares and despair was all mine
    Every time my soul blended with those haunting rhymes
    And I became both a storyteller and a captive
    Forever entangled in the immortal embrace of my ancient books.
    Elisabetta

  • The Mask Of Illusion

    The Mask Of Illusion

    The mask of illusion hid behind an ephemeral mirth
    Whenever I tried to pick the sublime flowers of joy
    Pretending that I could be worthy of happiness and hope

    Only in my dreams, I could see my confined heart
    In a cage made of crystal and gold
    From which it could never be set free
    Because the destiny of my soul was doomed forever to indifference and distress

    That was the reason I fed myself with the poison of illusions
    Illusions hiding behind a mask of conventional pretences
    I’ve always loved lying to myself

    In the rush for survival, I forgot my real name
    Getting lost amidst the euphoric frenzy of fleeting instants
    I did let myself dissolve in the labyrinth of shadows

    The mask of illusion became deformed and heavier
    And underneath it, there was only a haze of darkness
    A void where once upon a time there was a glowing light

    Silence replaced hopes and desires
    And I forgot the sight of truth and reality
    The spell of bitter lies had enchanted me

    Hence, my despair grew deeper in the garden of thorns
    A secret garden where no flower of joy could ever bloom
    The mask of illusion and deceit sunk deep into the cold soil, made of fragments of shattered delusions

    No soul would ever find this kingdom of nowhere
    Impenetrable and invisible to ordinary sight
    This magic realm of enigmas and secrets concealed every untruth and illusion
    Though every fragment of it was woven from fallacies, for all the masks of illusion lay buried beneath

    Surprised no more
    I surrendered to the sweet lullabies coming from each flower
    With the certitude that I was one of my dreams

    Victim of my own hallucinations
    I wandered endlessly through the spectral haze of my illusions
    Surrounded by the decay of faded memories that lingered like lost ghosts
    Never to return to my forsaken reality.
    Elisabetta

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