I want to be like the sea
I want to be like the wind
I want to be like the leaves floating free in the mist
I want to fly away into a dream.
Elisabetta
Tag: poetic
-

I Want To Be Like The Sea
-

Lost In My Hallucinations
Lost in my hallucinations, seeking insanity and self-destruction. I made of self-loathing my eternal anthem and favourite melody. Listening to the noise of the light of the sun when it hit the petals of my flowers, I followed my own shadow in the green meadow of hope. Kneeling down I strove to protect myself from all that dazzling gleaming since I was made of darkness and decadence.
Lies and illusions were the source of life for my soul which sought exclusively the sweet poison of deception. Wandering beneath a sad sky deprived of stars and moon, I couldn’t take control of my fears and turmoils, I forgot my name although it was carved on every stone I trampled on. Wildly led by my shattered hopes, I roamed astray into the wilderness of aborted dreams.
Lost in my hallucinations, I was searching for myself and the sense of life while teardrops were marking imprints on my face. Memories sounded like melodies in my ears I couldn’t avoid facing them because they were like a thick cloud enfolding my heart. And words came to my mind like thunders in the middle of the night. The silent stillness soothed me slowly in my insomnia.
I knew not what I was really and I never saw my reflection on any mirror. I was a stranger to myself and I never met any other creatures like me. I was utterly cast away, lost in the tides of my own desolation, wondering if I ever could have been different. The scent of death enticed me to follow a trail leading into an abyss of despair, where I could embrace my complete obliteration.
Having lost my wisdom, I discovered a new shape of fictitious reality enticed to the absurd realm of fantasy. There I was not alive anymore but doomed to inexhaustible agony, where fortune frayed like a worn-out thread spun from the hands of forgotten deities. I was the manifestation of decline and defeat.
Elisabetta -

In The Shadows
In the shadows, where the cold breeze embraced me, I listened to the soft whispers of lost hopes betrayed by illusions. In the castle of deception, every fantasy could have been written in the book of secrets and arcane legends.
The moonlight was falling like silver rain over the garden of luscious flowers, where I was lying unaware of my impetuous fate. I fell in love with the idea of sublimity and extravagance. My thoughts were like sparkling gems beneath the night sky.
Magnificent stars were glowing in the firmament, and I realised the magic of that fantastic realm to which I was bound. Covered with stardust and the scent of occult blossoms, I surrendered to the allure of an enchanted forest, letting its mysteries consume me.
I was searching for my true self and my enlightenment. I didn’t know what fear was, and death was not an enemy to fight against, because I was an immortal creature of the darkness. I found delight in dreams and isolation. Solitude was been my source of strength and joy.
The night sky was starred by glowing luminaries and I was hiding in the shadows of my secret garden of desires and regrets. Wandering in labyrinths of hollow trees, I didn’t have any direction to follow or a purpose in my existence.
All that I could feel was the frozen wind caressing me everywhere with its pointed claws like sharp daggers stroking my pale and delicate skin. Time dissolved, fleeting as a snowflake surrendering to the kiss of the sun.
Lost in the embrace of the night, I became nothing more than a fantasy among the stars, an unrevealed dream, vanishing like mist before the first glow of dawn. In the shadows, I found my kingdom of eternity and seclusion, where the soft breeze of the night was whispering secrets only I could hear.
Elisabetta -

My Obscure Sides
My obscure sides are so numerous that they cannot be contained by the vastness of the ocean. If someone sought to know them, I would say that I am only made of darkness, for no light remains within me.
Beneath a cloudy night sky deprived of stars, I wander in my loneliness without any moonlight shining over me. Embracing my fears, uncautiously I explore all my darkest secrets.
Bold and reckless I explore the most hidden recesses of beauty and mystery. I love to dance alone in the coldest winter nights under the cloudy sky. I love to be mad and foolish and never care about the consequences.
I’m a courtesan and a poet, embracing my most feral self. I often forget my name and I don’t fit in any box of comfort and conventions. I’m free like a butterfly flying from one flower to another one.
I adore being stroked by the frost wind and pierced by thunders of passions, feeling the poundage of my incubi on my body during my respite.
My obscure sides hide quietly in the shadows of my heart. I’m bound forever to darkness and sorrow. Indeed, I’m dressed in an exquisite gown made of grief and tears.
I love to indulge in my decadence and I love to lie languidly on a bed of flowers contaminated by the dust of decay. Broken like a shattered crystal gem I dwell in absolute silence, inside my dark chamber made of anguish.
I love to fantasize and live in my absurd dreams. I’m a living paradox and an oddity outside the ordered realm of standard society made of entities who are already lifeless.
Embracing the chaos within myself, I sink into the abyss of darkness, wrapped in a cloak of sorrows and illusions. Chained by invisible bonds, I get lost in the labyrinth of my imagination.
Elisabetta -

My Heart Is Made Of Ink
My heart is made of ink and blood
My heart is made of fantasy and dreams
Surreal place of celestial beauty and stars
An enigmatic and impenetrable domainA realm where thoughts are tangled in fragile webs
And spectral creatures swirl beneath the silvery light of forsaken moons
While silent winds carry tales from ancient fables
Under a sky brushed with infinite huesIn this realm, I am both adrift and entwined
My heart is bound to the ink that flows through my veins
My entire body is blooming like a flower of rhymes
Where verses unfurl from my petals and thornsA world tempest of emotions surges in my heart
Crumbling my essence into the dust of decay
Carving elegies upon the hollow firmament
Where no stars are allowed to shineThe constellation of startling stars dissolves into the abyss of emptiness
The obscure chasm that stretches in front of me
Alluring me in its terrifying emptiness to swallow my soul
While letters are dripping from my fingers like midnight raindropsI became part of the eternity of the abyssal night
I am no longer bound by shapes or names,
I dissolve into the void of eternity,
Like a tiny snowflake lost in the stillness of oblivionMy desires are fading into the marrow of the darkness
Within the silence, mysterious secrets are engraved in the bones of dreadful shadows
And unspoken ballads are waiting to be unconcealed
An inextinguishable flame is burning and flickering within the core of twilightI am drowning in the deep abysm
Although even in the most profound darkness, ink still flows like blood from my heart
And my insolent utterances burn against the void
A ghostly glimmer where stars once shoneMy heart is made of ink and darkness
My heart is a requiem of dreams and sorrows
A secret alcove veiled by the mist of silent elegies.
Elisabetta -

The Thorns Of Anguish
The thorns of anguish pierced my heart
Making it bleed in dismay
In a distressing struggle in my sleepless nightsI wouldn’t feel any pleasure anymore
In this short existence of mine
And the only certitude remained was a frantic dreamA foolish dream made of many other dreams
A multitude of hallucinations
Ready to make me feel a joyful foolI’m not of this world of homologated humans
I’m made of dreams and illusions
I’m not a human at all, being an ethereal creature of the nightHiding under the blankets of my bed
I pretend to be the queen of my realm of ether and chaos
Avoiding to accept reality and its social conventionsI write because I feel there is no other way to express my inner world
In trivial and merry moments of my lifeOftentimes, I wouldn’t feel any pleasure anymore
Nor sadness, nor dread, nor longings
For I had become nothing more than a spiritI floated endlessly through the enchanted woods
Among elves and fairies whispering me secrets
While I was feeling blissful and bewildered at the same timeThe thorns of anguish pierced my heart again and again
Until the last drop of blood would drip on the cold soil
In my secret garden of dreams and nightmaresIn my arcane heaven, illusions bloomed alongside despair
And I would have become an impalpable and gloomy shadow
Incapable of feeling sorrow and mirthI had forgotten the hypocrisy of the disowned reality
Because I was so much lost in my metaphysical realm
An intricate labyrinth created by my own mindI became a phantom bound to an endless twilight
I was a creature of eternal dusk
Fading into the hush of the night mistThe moon cast silver woes
In my everlasting fantasy
Forever dissolved in nothingness.
Elisabetta -

Nonsense In The Evening
Nonsense in the evening
Sad and apathetic, I abandoned myself to nonsense
As I was supposed to be someone with no state of mind
Indeed, I had no aims or plansI felt like a dead leaf falling from a tree
I felt like a pinwheel that spins empty under the influence of the wind
Was I supposed to feel something other than discontent?
It might be as I was listening to the birds singing in the treeAnd so the evening passed like the flowing of a quiet river
Unperturbed by what was around me
Because the abyss of anguish was enticing me
Trapping me in a dungeon of sorrow and dismay
As I had the certitude that there was no hope for meDreaming and deluding myself has always dragged me into a labyrinth of darkness and decay
A storm of turmoil invested me
Leaving me astray
Faraway from any horizon of sanityEmptiness became my realm of fancy
Although I have always aspired to belong to a different kingdom
Where the dust of stars would fall over me
Enlighting me with their comforting and candid glowThe towering and outstanding sight of my nightmares was hypnotising me
And I could not avoid to flee from them
As they cast a wicked spell on me
To eternally suffer from all the most ominous hoaxesShuttered windows were in front of me
The windows to my dreams and desires were cruelly sealed
Nonsense in the evening was my special date
No stars were present in my nocturnal sky
No moon was there to wait for meAll my sparkling wishes faded into the infinite decadence
Because I belonged only to decadence and I longed to be surrounded by dust of decay
The decay of my wisdom and certainty was the only certitude I cherished in my treasure chest
And all that could remain in my heart was nonsense in the evening of my day.
Elisabetta -

Victimised By My Desires
Victimised by my desires and love
I try to detach from my heart’s impulses
But it is useless because I am chained completely
Like a prey of my own longings, craving for my soulI keep believing in my dreams and impossible chimeras
Never breaking the chain of my own distress
Trusting love and its cruel games
A realm of beauty and deceptionVictimised by my desires and obsessions
I get lost in my dreams where I feel safe and protected
And I sing my song of love and self-destruction
As a way to cast a spell over myself over and over againAlive and dead
Happy and sad
I fade away into the darkness of my life
Becoming a victim of my emotions and weaknessEvery time that my dreams whisper lies to me
I feel euphoric and powerful as I’m destined to a perpetual merriment
Instead, I fall into the profound abyss of misery
Where I compassionately cry crystal teardropsI never stop sighing in this valley of desolation
As I’m permanently condemned to wander endlessly with no destination
As I’m permanently condemned to never find peace in my innermost spiritSeized by cobwebs of love and impossibilities
Abducted into secret alcoves of empty vows
I surmise that my own delusions are real, mistaking them for truths
And see only exquisite beauty in this world because I want to believe soIn my dark chamber, I cry and sigh
In my secret niche, I embrace oblivion
Aware that nobody, absolutely nobody, thinks about me
In this senseless existence, deprived of empathyForlorn and disenchanted, I wait for the true love
Although I’m sure I can feel it, and I can see it as a beautiful vision
As I’m very foolish and ingenue, losing easily control of my feelings
And I’m glad to fall into the trap of my longings
And I’m delighted that I’m victimised by my desires.
Elisabetta -

Claustrophobic Thoughts
Claustrophobic thoughts on solitude and self-love
Duty was the master of my obsessions
Although I was travelling in an unreachable remote realm
Where I was not aware that I could have dreamedThe surprise of being a part of the time and eternity
But as an invisible and ethereal creature of darkness
Longing I could manifest all the desires of mine
Faraway from ambiguous wicked beingsEnticed by my love and desire for my untouchable beloved
Who perceived but ignored my passion for him
Hence, frustration and impossibility separated me
Keeping me awake at night and a dreamer in the middle of the dayWhenever I could have the chance to meet him
I would rejoice in his vision and sometimes voice
Striving to obtain some quick and volatile attention
For just a few instants that sounded like an eternitySilence and loneliness waited for me
In every corner of my mind
Whenever my hope could have been fulfilled
In my naive dreamsWaiting was the only option
Even forever
As long as I could be there not far from him
With my heartDreams and illusions are my merriment
Like a multicoloured lamp enlightening sleepless nights
While my claustrophobic thoughts trapped my mind
In a vortexLetting the river of life captivate me
I float like a leaf on the cold waters of fate
When uncertainty is the ruler of the realm
Echoing my nameWords like carved truths on my soul
Conducting me to my unknown destination
I become words
I become memoriesVanishing in the void
All that remains of me are my fears and longings
Cling to my love
Burning like an inextinguishable flame
Pure like the blossom of a crimson rose.
Elisabetta -

The Enchantment
The enchantment, a shadowed spell, had been cast beneath the twilight’s dying sigh,
Where ancient oaks had swayed in the wind like phantoms of the past.
A chant had echoed through the tangled woods, its cadence dark and deep,
Awakening spirits have long forgotten from the caverns where they had slept.Amidst the stillness of nightfall, murmurs sighed endlessly,
As unseen eyes had glowed dimly beneath a starless sky.
The moon had hung low, a sallow face, pale as winter’s bone,
Illuminating paths of sorrow where the lost souls had roamed alone.A mist had coiled through the midnight, cold fingers tracing near,
Wrapping around the weary hearts that had beat with ascending fear.
The trees, like crooked figures, had leaned closer to behold,
The place where time had dissolved away, and every tale was told.At the circle’s heart, an altar had stood, adorned in faded lace,
And there, a book of fateful words had lain bound in death’s embrace.
With trembling restlessness, the pages had turned, each verse a dreadful sound,
As secrets had slipped into the void and spun themselves around.The ground had begun to shake as shadows took their form,
Emerging from the depths below, a writhing, ghastly swarm.
Their voices had spoken in unison, a harmony of dread,
Recalling all the lives once lived and all the blood once shed.Enchantments had surged through every vein, a venom cold and dark,
Binding all who had ventured there with no hope of turning back.
The winds had grown sharp, a biting chill that had pierced the very night,
And overhead, the idylls had burned with a pale, infernal light.The spirits had danced in circles wide; their laughter had echoed grimly,
A dirge that sang of vanished days and all that might have been.
The ancient oaks had groaned softly as if burdened by despair,
Their roots, entwined with cursed soil, had held fast in the bewitched air.The enchantment had deepened, drawing close, its tendrils ever tight,
Until the world had grown distant, fading slowly from all sight.
In the dark, the voices had faded, the spell complete at last,
And silence had reigned where shadows had fallen upon the haunted past.Thus had lain the woods, forever bound by the magic’s cruel decree,
A place where none could have ventured forth nor ever truly fled.
Esther Elizabeth Racah