Esther Racah Writer & Literary Blogger

Tag: poetry

  • Extravagant Dreams

    Extravagant Dreams

    Extravagant dreams appeared like magnificent paintings of different natures, making me feel all those emotions I never felt in real life. I wondered what it would be possible to achieve in my marvellous fantasies. Nevertheless, I never realised in my entire existence what my fate wanted me to understand through prophecies and nightmares.

    The antique clock struck each hour, while its pendulum swung relentlessly from side to side, echoing the inexorable passage of time, and inducing me to find my magic manuscript of phantasmagorias and peculiarities. In truth, I had the intention to cast a spell over the moon and the stars. My vanity allowed me to relinquish all control over my heart and I was finally able to see the chaos and power of my imagination.

    Extravagant dreams became my secret treasures in the lonely nights whenever the clouds covered all the luminaries, hiding the moon in their soft gloominess. Every time I awakened in the middle of the night only to realise that there was no possibility to question the stars about my shadows and destiny. Since bedlam ruled my life, my heart knew no certitudes but an exigent desire to look at the swarthy face of the moon.

    Majestic ravens were my loyal witnesses to my endless thirst for vengeance. Indeed, I so often dreamed of seeing justice appear in the shape of frightening ghouls as a gift to those entities that had mistreated me so badly. My awkward and extravagant dreams were constantly my guides, willing to soothe all my resentments and grief, which were huge burdens inside my heart like inextinguishable flames.

    Silence didn’t succeed in pacifying all my trepidations, in fact, I was by then at the mercy of the tumultuous winds of an approaching storm. I couldn’t even listen properly to the echoes of my thoughts lingering in the emptiness of the night like withered flowers. Extravagant dreams were no longer my shadows following me everywhere, instead, there was only a bare landscape with no trees, just a few meadows and the dust of my memories which were not there with me anymore.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Teardrops In The Desert

    Teardrops In The Desert

    Teardrops in the desert of chaos and vulnerability were striking my face while the imperious sun was staring at me with its searing light, on the verge of overwhelming me.

    The long summer nights allowed me to indulge in extravagant fantasies since I had always been fond of dreams and rainbows. But, nevertheless, I couldn’t help myself from finding the right direction.

    The sun gave its place to the luminaries of the firmament, and I could perceive the feeble light of a lantern far away floating in the enchanted forest of my impossible dreams.

    I became a shadow of the night and I could see the stars in their eyes, as if I were their celestial companion in the lonely nightfall. Teardrops in the desert metamorphosed into sighs and whispers in the deepest night of my life.

    Without hesitation, I was tempted to embrace the chaos which was embedded in my heart, now that every delusional longing had departed from my dwelling. Hence, I strove for a stance on my fate, but I couldn’t see anything in my crystal ball.

    Even the tarot cards refused to spell the truth, although I had interrogated them so many times as the number of stars. My hymns had been cast away from me as punishment for my quest to obtain that certitude that I never acquired.

    Teardrops in the desert beneath my beloved moon flew like impetuous rivers at the sight of the twilight. Might I have been a brilliant star or a shy planet, I knew not. All I knew inside my heart was the sensation of a precarious destiny.

    As invisible as I became and as untouchable as I pretended to be, I melted in the forest of thoughts and fears as an untamed creature of my own realm made of fantastic dreams and fancy illusions.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Silence Of The Night

    The Silence Of The Night

    The silence of the night made me travel till the end of the material worlds
    Where I lost my direction and purpose in life without hesitation
    I began my journey to the ethereal and idyllic realm of phantoms and elegiac mirage
    I fell over and over again for I was unaware of my path made of sharp stones and brambles drawing my attention
    Withered roses and arcane trees surrounded me under the shape of precious acquaintances
    While I could see castles in the air floating like ephemeral flowers’ petals

    The silence of the night lulled me to the brink of a deep slumber made of delusional chimaeras and phantasmagorias
    So soothing was the melody of the nocturnal birds hovering in the forest
    So sweet was the exquisite scent of extravagant blossoms in the magic meadows
    Where I was lingering with all my laziness willing to lose my ability for discernment
    Indulging in desires and imagination
    My mind began quietly to be inclined toward hesitation
    Lost in the chaotic shenanigans of my doubts and fears

    Enchantments and witchcraft blossomed under the shape of occult grimoires, scarlet roses, and magic lanterns
    Which surrounded me with their glimmers and shadows
    While crystal hourglasses and iridescent sand marked the passage of my time in that fairy-tale world
    Where even compasses lost all sense of direction
    In that extraordinary aura of mysterious wonders and inexplicable visions
    Crows and ravens flew around the sparkling moon
    Singing hymns to the majestic night

    The cold waft of the darkness struck me
    Not yet able to wake me up from my profound slumber
    Since no compass was able to guide me in that topsy-turvy mystery
    Which had become a part of me and haunted the chasms of my imaginings
    At last, I had altered the silence of the night into a delirious stupor of wild dreams and spellbinding adventures.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sparkling Darkness

    Sparkling Darkness

    Sparkling Darkness ruled the realm of the night
    Whenever the shadows whispered in the night
    Unveiling secrets like little shining gems
    While the moon was glimmering in the sky inhabited by spirits and stars
    Surrounded by clouds and hazy images
    Magnificence made every flower bloom in the secrecy of the night
    Only when the mystery was enlightened by candles for those who dared to venture into the kingdom of chimaeras and enigmas
    Where nothing could have been revealed effortlessly in the daylight to mortal sights

    I was proceeding with an unsteady step as I felt the sparkling darkness opening the path to me, with flying dragons chaperoning me at the magic light of lanterns
    The delightful flowers I encountered brightened like glistening luminaries that captivated me with their exquisite scent and unique beauty
    Enchanted castles and precious gems were not just visions but the manifestation of my extravagant dreams
    I have become the queen of this supernatural and bewitching realm that came into existence from my nocturnal imaginations
    Every desire I have always coveted dearly became tangible as my fantasy had transformed into reality

    In this infinite darkness of my cherished dreams, nothing was impossible, and my extraordinary fate never ceased to surprise me
    There was no uncertainty nor fear in this world of mine, where I could feel safe and protected
    Gargoyles made of ancient stone came to life to breathe magic and infinity
    While the cool breeze of the night softly stroked my long hair, enfolding me like a delicate shawl made of lace and tulle
    The sparkling darkness that bore fear for the ordinary mortals had become my secret haven, where nobody could ever have found me
    Invisible as I was to the human gaze, but visible to the mythical creatures attending my journey

    And therein I remained, as I was embodying the darkness and the night
    Unknown was my future since my dazed destiny had paved intricate routes for me to traverse
    Like in an endless journey where I was embracing every pristine and bizarre novelty
    There was more to come and nothing to fear any longer
    Because there was no beginning or end anymore.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • The Night Lies Over Me

    The Night Lies Over Me

    The night lies over me like an immense quilted blanket of stars and gloomy clouds
    Sweet are the whispers of my dreams that welcome me into their magical alcove
    Lost in the depths of my imagination
    I continue to wander in the night
    Unaware of my fate, I am blindfolded on my uncertain path
    Letting the disquiet burn in my heart as if I were a candle in a storm
    I wait for the thorns to turn into feathers in my secret garden of mystery
    Everything is concealed from my eyes
    And I wake up in the haze and turmoil
    In front of me only emptiness and the scent of fear
    How long could I have fed myself on the illusion of my dreams?
    I know not as long as the clouds obscured the stars
    I covet fondly the freedom of birds lingering in the firmament
    I struggle intensely to catch a glimpse of withered flowers and evanescent butterflies
    And the night lies over me again like a layered shroud
    Quietly the wind whispers legends and enchantments
    Taking me into the fantastic realm of chimaeras and the overworld
    Where no mortal soul could be conceived
    Since only fabulous creatures inhabit my fantasy
    Loneliness surrounds me and hushes my eagerness to lose myself easily in the maze of foolishness
    I sense my dreams as the only reality where I am my tangible self
    An ocean filled with delusions and empty shells attempts to swallow my awareness
    The exquisite scent of roses and magnolias cannot rescue me any longer
    Since the oblivion of the night’s desires takes hold of me
    It was too late for me to redeem my heart
    In the solitude of the dusk
    When everything seemed so painfully calm
    Alas, could I finally find myself in the lost abyss of my ineptitude?
    I sigh and dream
    No further wisdom enlightens my vision
    Now that the night lies over me.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Unloved And Still Alive

    Unloved And Still Alive

    Unloved and still alive
    Burning inside like a bursting candle
    Shunned by the stars
    Forsaken by my own fate
    I wandered in my idyllic imagination
    Careless about the consequences of my quest
    So in silence I remained, keeping my stillness and avoiding any apprehension
    I had been cast away from the realm of certitude
    And I had embraced the illusory world of swoon
    Embracing the unknown was my main aim
    Since I lived with the constant suspense of the unpredictability of the events that would unfold before me

    I saw the traces of shame on the walls of a glorious temple
    Remembering that once upon a time, they were covered with the names of those who once enjoyed privileges and gifts
    Although I saw their shadows fading in the void, I knew that their presence was there
    Underneath the oblivious dusty tapestries and carpets, there were the spirits of disgrace
    How long could that secrecy have been hidden?
    It was a question resonating in my mind
    How could it even have been possible to leave such a precious wall so tainted and hideous?

    A crowd of paid names was pasted onto ephemeral history
    Then, years later, it was peeled away, leaving one of the grand palace walls flayed by adhesive and a code of silence
    Names faded away like ethereal legends erased by the wear and tear of time
    Not even the wear and tear of their fake smiles and affected bows could erase what was obvious even to the marvellous works of that now decayed temple
    I saw but I didn’t forget
    Unloved and still alive
    I was an accidental witness to dreadfulness and grotesqueness
    Everything seemed to be so unreal and absurd I couldn’t even admit it as a bare reality and an ugly truth

    The sky was cloudy and the rain fell all over the magical palace with its infernal caves
    The more I walked erratically, the more I felt like I had lost the old version of myself
    I had drunk the poison of my intuitions that were verified by a harsh reality
    I had become inebriated on a potion that had been offered to me just when I didn’t want it
    And although the ghastliness prevailed, so did I
    I cherished my essence of a drama queen and goddess of darkness
    Since I chose to belong to the unseen world of dark shadows and enigmatic secrets

    Although I was unloved by mortals, I was still alive in various shapes like an ethereal creature of an invisible kingdom
    I had recreated myself from dust and ashes
    While the time slipped away like sand in the wind
    For I became what I could never have imagined
    A lost butterfly in an abyss of turmoil and deceit, overflowing my imagination with illusory chimaeras
    I endured a world of wretchedness and cynicism, facing every horror wrought by mortals
    At the very end, there was never an end
    The decay of the perishable world never ceased, but it persisted inexorably
    And I stared at the stars as the only act of salvation for my lonely and broken heart.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sparkles Of Spell And Starlight

    Sparkles Of Spell And Starlight

    Sparkles of spell and starlight rained over me in my luscious garden of roses and bones. The shining stars were celebrating a feast in the voluptuous night sky.

    I fell in love with the glistening starlight and the sublime scent of my roses. I could taste the bitterness of melancholy in every drop of enchantment I was able to sip quietly in my secret refuge.

    Locked and invisible to mortal gaze, I could freely talk to mirrors and ask questions to the wind. In the dark and gloomy night sky, I could glimpse sparkling gems casting glares across the clouds.

    Nonetheless, I carried the burden of my tragedy, unaware of what love truly meant. I felt protected in my intimate garden of passion and forbidden desires, where I fantasised about lovely blossoms and sharp thorns.

    The mesmerising night was celebrated by the stars and the moon, which sighed with delight and surprise. I dreamt of extravagant flowers blooming like arcane mysteries.

    Awakened and dizzied, I relied on my derealization, and I could perceive all the things, which couldn’t be perceived by ordinary mortals. I have seen degradation and decay creep into magnificent works of art silently and subtly.

    I was made of chaos and starlight. I became the lover of my cosmic dreams, which accompanied me to bewitching forests and labyrinths of perdition. I had embraced my doom and my oblivion.

    Not far away, I could hear the ocean’s shore stuffed with broken seashells and withered rose petals. A salty breeze dazzled me by making me remember sugarcoated lies and bitter betrayals.
    
    My heart beat fast like a comet star of fire and ice. I had become the queen of the night and darkness, and I followed the rules of madness and frenzy. I enjoyed casting tainted spells on mortal souls.

    Sparkles of magic and starlight unleashed free in my bizarre fantasies during a winter midnight in my secret garden of dead trees and faded blooms. I felt the discomfort of my mystic intuition that had me see much more of what I wanted to know.

    I leaned against the stone wall of my gloomy dwelling. I had finally caught a glimpse of every single circumstance that I had imagined clearly in my previous dreams. I wished I were wrong and I wished to become silly like those lost creatures wandering in search of a phoney love.

    And therein I was, waiting for the moon to rise again in the valley of crystal pebbles and alluring pale roses. I shunned the exquisite appetites of passion that had destroyed me in my past existence.

    No mirror could ever hurt me any longer, at that very moment of awakening and awareness. I sparkled like a shining star among bones and candles. No ghouls could ever have hurt me now that I transformed into an imperturbable glimmer of starlight.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Upon The Petals Of Intoxicating Beauty

    Upon The Petals Of Intoxicating Beauty

    Upon the petals of intoxicating beauty, as if it were a marvellous flower, I found my haven of love and dreams. I lost touch with my wisdom and embraced my unconscious desires. Passionate as I was, perpetual flames scorched my heart, where all my most audacious secrets were embalmed.

    The winter storm came suddenly, and it made all my flowers fade to a haze of stardust. Love and dreams rumbled in my heart like thunderbolts. In stupor and wonder, I fell into an eternal slumber, in which I couldn’t suffer or feel despair. Frozen and benumbed, I became a part of a realm beyond time and space.

    Among stars and clouds, I could see the rainbow of my derealization. I was inflamed and frightened by my own trepidations. I attempted to convey my liberty from past chains, as they strove to bring me down into the abyss of misery. What could I have been in other realities I knew not, while I was lost in broken remembrances.

    The frigid breeze unleashed remembrances and released ancient phantoms from my early past. A vortex of emotions stirred inside me, emptying me of all my enigmas. I wished I could understand what was happening in that very moment. Nevertheless, stupor and hallucinations kept me from wisdom and sanity.

    I felt innocent and fierce, although a bitter dread attempted to fill my heart with infinite emptiness and anguish. I celebrated my resentful loneliness as a treasured gift very dear to me. Every feeling overwhelmed me, and I kept freezing. Every cherished devotion made me hide in the most remote haven.

    I started to talk to mirrors even when they were broken. Each mirror whispered words I didn’t wish to utter or hear. I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t remember my past, since I had lost all connection to past ghouls. I couldn’t find out who I was and where I was. None of my questions had ever found their answer.

    Upon the petals of intoxicating beauty, as if it were a poison spell, I found my demise and eternal doom. My fragility induced me to weep, and I screamed into the darkness of the inexhaustible night. My tears engraved every pang upon my face, running down like garnet streams.

    Thorns and brambles wrapped themselves around me delightfully, making me rejoice with euphoria and bliss. In the ecstasy of contrition and mortification, I found my utmost merriment. Lying helpless and disconsolate, I followed the trails of my reveries, hoping in vain to remember my name.

    I dreamed of exquisite flowers and sweet poisons. I fantasised about petals of intoxicating beauty, until dark shadows dragged me into the abyss of obliteration. I might have been cast into a realm of demise, where spirits and underworld creatures offered me festive and joyful torments.

    In dizziness and elation, I was struck by magical starlight and thunder. Upon the petals of intoxicating beauty, as if it were a marvellous flower, I was defeated and cast away. And lost in the labyrinth of my souvenirs, I could no longer distinguish delusional fantasies from my own ruin.
    Elisabetta Esther

  • Sinking Underneath The Ocean Floor

    Sinking Underneath The Ocean Floor

    Sinking underneath the ocean floor
    With a painful grief like chains of sorrow
    Feeling disoriented and lost
    Like the death had reached for my heart with its numbing breath
    While I was letting the water and earth take advantage of my body

    I felt dark shadows and gods from the underworld touch my soul
    They imprinted their fire branding upon my hand of clay
    The path was established for eternity
    And I awakened as one of their kin, reborn in shadow.
    Elisabetta

  • The Abyss Of Nothingness

    The Abyss Of Nothingness

    The abyss of nothingness swallowed all my fractured desires
    The fear that gripped my heart and that sense of calm, of stability that took hold of my life made me a helpless and insignificant creature, invisible to mortals, yet at the same time the target of their cruelties.

    How much I wished to be different, to be accepted, and to be treated with great respect for who I truly was. But in truth, my entire life was a series of piercing endurance of inhuman suffering, humiliations, cruelties against me, deceit, mockery, traps, attempts to undermine my being, violence, and all the most barbaric and terrifying acts against my soul and myself.

    My life had not been a normal existence—one that no one could have understood. My experience was not a common one. I had lived through a time when my dream had encapsulated me in an ideal, evanescent, and ethereal reality. No one could see me, especially during that period of apparent death. Yes, because for ten long years I had not lived—I had fallen into a deep and fatal dream, isolated from everything and everyone. I had built my own kingdom of dreams and illusions, into which, day by day, I entrusted my very self.

    All the hourglasses in my dwelling had come to a halt, and the flow of time had lost all meaning. The disconnection from the truth that surrounded me had become both a tendency and a habit—one that turned into law. Indeed, I had become like a crystal frozen in time, like a statue untouched by its passing. I carried within me that immaterial sense of my heart, trapped in a confining aura.

    I no longer cared what society thought, nor what people might perceive of me. And so it remains. For my rarity and my strangeness are imperceptible to any human heart. I was accused of things that never were, of things my heart could not even fathom. Everything had vanished like soap bubbles. Nothing remained—only bitter memories or sorrowful ones that dragged me down into the depths of an untouchable abyss.

    Delicate and fragile as I was, I had lost the ability to love, to admire, and to obey mortals. I no longer saw them as similar to me, but rather, I perceived other beings—creatures who had no voice in the human condition—as kindred, as dear to me. And so it was that the abyss of nothingness possessed me, and it will always possess a part of my soul. For I belong to the emptiness and to the darkness.
    Elisabetta

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